digital-paint

[digital-paint]

i fukcing hate this show

[digital-paint]

[digital-paint]

My favorite exchanges in tma are the ones that are just:

Jon Archivist: Why are you Like This?

Some random Avatar: How dare you try to Compel me!  Your tricks won’t work on me!  How about I use my powers on you, see how you like it!

That same Avatar: Anyway here’s my entire life story explaining exactly why I’m Like This

[digital-paint]

i’m thinking about simon fairchild again… like we talk about him being a chaotic skydiving grandpa, but i don’t think we spend enough time on his history as a conman. the fact that he got cornered by a crowd of angry ppl and probably fucking brer rabbit briar patched his way into convincing them not to throw him, a several-hundred-year-old vast avatar, out a fourth story window (do u think it was like, ‘oh no, please! maybe just the second story!’ until they got all the way to the fourth, bcos that seems in character). we don’t talk about his identity being based on tax fraud and identity theft so he could steal some rich guy’s money (and do what with it? fund random ppl’s adventures into space or skydiving or deep sea diving? incredible!). we don’t discuss how he was originally from venice (and good for him up and leaving his shitty job to date the sky) so his british accent, while defos bcos his voice actor is british, must be fake or at least learned, and how many other languages and accents has he learned perfectly in 500 years, and do u think he’ll just like, speak italian at ppl who are annoying him,

i just love this weird old man and i want more of him fucking conning ppl. i love him throwing ppl into wind tunnels but do u think that maybe even before he was simon fairchild he like wandered into the lukas family and was like ‘oh damn i’m gonna con them out of SO MUCH MONEY’ and he did and they couldn’t even find him to throw him to the lonely bcos they had no idea who he was. do u think simon loses bets to peter on purpose while giggling internally bcos way back in 1880 he stole a couple thousand pounds from his family and gave it to their employees to start a union.

[digital-paint]

INT, DAY. MARTIN’S OFFICE

PETER BLATHERS ON ABOUT SOMETHING UNIMPORTANT; MARTIN IGNORES HIM. SUDDENLY MARTIN’S PHONE GOES OFF, AND IT’S…WELL, IT’S THIS. MARTIN ROLLS HIS EYES SO HARD HE SPRAINS SOMETHING. PETER’S JAW DROPS. MARTIN: [aggrieved sigh] What do you want, Elias?

A LONG PAUSE. 

MARTIN: How did you even get a mobile in prison anyway?

A BRIEF PAUSE

MARTIN: No, I don’t want to know that, I don’t - will you please shut up -

A LONGER PAUSE. PETER IS CHOKING ON AIR, OR POSSIBLY ON THE UNFAMILIAR AND WHOLLY UNAPPRECIATED FEELING OF SEETHING JEALOUSY.

MARTIN: I absolutely will not, you can call him yourself.

A SHORT PAUSE.

MARTIN: Fuck you.

HE HANGS UP THE PHONE.

PETER, STRANGLED: How did you wind up with that ringtone?

MARTIN: I have no fucking idea, honestly. Ask Elias, he’s so determined to make a production out of everything I’m sure he’d be happy to gloat about it.

PETER MAKES A VAGUE NOISE OF AGREEMENT.

INTO THE UNEXPECTED AND SOMEWHAT AWKWARD SILENCE, PETER’S PHONE RINGS. MARTIN’S EYES GO WIDE.

[digital-paint]

FUCKERS TOOK MY GENDER

CANT HAVE SHIT IN SANNIKOV LAND

[digital-paint]

The Magnus Archives #97-              We All Ignore the Pit

[digital-paint]

So what I'm hearing is, pass Peter Lukas, Georgie, or Tim the AUX

why shouldnt you pass tma characters the AUX

jon: plays fucking classical music and talks over it the whole time about the history of the composer and makes references to a bunch of historical events you have never heard of

martin: look. i love martin. i adore him. but we all know mr “retro aesthetic” would play the fucking beatles.

tim: instead of having a spotify playlist like a normal person he has a shit ton of meme songs downloaded on his phone to play whenever he gets the aux. if you dont want to listen to moms spaghetti and crawling in my crawl the whole ride do not pass this man the aux.

sasha: plays weird synth indie, not necessarily bad sounding but disconcerting to know that this is the music taste of a woman who can access your social security number

melanie: her taste in music isnt so much “songs that sound good” as it is “songs that sound raw” and she always gets caught up in the emotion and sings along but never bothered learning the real lyrics. the result is her scream singing approximations of los campensinos.

georgie: playlist is a mix of “sad indie” and “heavy metal” and is incredibly jarring. its russian roulette for whoever is driving except instead of getting your head blown off you jump out of your skin as a german man plays an acoustic guitar directly into your speaker

basira: starts playing an audiobook that shes already like halfway through and spaces out listening to it so you cant even ask her about whats going on

daisy: tries to get you into some weird radio drama/podcast youve never heard of, looks over at you every five minutes for your reaction while you have to pretend that youve been paying attention 

elias: would either play white noise to “settle everyones nerves” or play some fucked up recounting of a serial killer or something that no one has the mental energy to hear about

peter lukas: fuck it. sea shanties.

[digital-paint]

I made a supercut of victorian men absolutely not fond of Jonah Magnus (on youtube too)

[digital-paint]

A little walk.

[digital-paint]

friend who lives hundreds of miles away: i made food

me: can i have some

[digital-paint]

Ohio

[digital-paint]

*Mikell Bright voice* I. Fucking. Hate. The O5 Council. The other Overseers make me do the horse summoning dance and chant “go cowboy go”

[digital-paint]

he misses the farm :^(

[digital-paint]

Welcome, to Nightvale

If enough people move to the middle of nowhere, it turns into somewhere.

[digital-paint]

The Easter Bunny has only been deemed an essential worker in some parts of the world. So the Geology Cat will be taking over, bringing egg-shaped rocks and minerals to excited kids Easter morning.

[digital-paint]

I CANT GET OVER THE LECTURES MY HISTORY PROFESSOR RECORDED FOR US, HIS DAUGHTER KEEPS WALKING IN ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY & ADORABLE???