dillonreviewsdrinks - Tumblr blog

[dillonreviewsdrinks]

Monster Energy Pipeline Punch Energy (Hang Loose) Juice

I don’t want to make a habit of getting blue in this blog, but this punched through my gut pipeline right into a toilet wave.

-Great guava flavor

-Bad for my guts 

[dillonreviewsdrinks]

Arizona ℞ ENERGY “A Refreshing Herbal Tonic”

Having never purchased a prescription at a convenience store, and having very low energy most of the time; I had to get my hands on this very large can of tonic. Take that big pharma!  But wait, what’s this?

Not a drug at all. Very sneaky. I had to dock it points right off the bat for this. 

-5 points.

Even though I was put off by the fact that the state of Arizona tried to fool me into thinking it had sold me medicine, the can consoled me that at 99 cents, this was a “Great Buy”.

A great buy indeed, this is a lot of drink for a buck.  Before I opened the can, I took a long hard look at the running man in the center of the can with the aspiration that I too, could be like the running man

I drank about half the can in one go. It tasted like green tea, citrus fruit, and roots, just as advertised. 

It’s energy giving effects were also felt, but not in that way where it feels like your body is vibrating in a way that makes you feel like your brain is almost certainly doomed to explode. Like the can admits to on the side, this isn’t drug.   

Final rating: Not a drug. I am the running man

[dillonreviewsdrinks]

An Entire Pitcher of Yuengling Traditional Amber Lager All By Yourself

Before we begin keep in mind that although this is my first review covering Yuengling traditional amber lager, this review is focused on consuming an entire pitcher of it in one sitting and should not be considered when approaching a reasonable amount of this drink. Alright.

What a treat. An entire pitcher of Yuengling.

Quick tip: If ordering for yourself, it’s important that you ignore the concerned looks of your bartender as you politely tell them that only one glass will be necessary.

As I poured my first glass I was immediately met with the thought of how many more times I would be repeating this action. Many, I thought. In fact, it was about five.

Upon taking my first sip I was met with a familiar and welcoming malt taste that felt like it could take all of my troubles away. Quickly following this was the mild bitterness of the hops and carbonation, reminding me of the constant futility of life that seems to always be there. No matter what. Like a friend you can depend on.

The second glass started out very similarly, although enhanced by the glass I had just seconds before. The more I drank of the second glass the less I was really able to make out the different flavors, however it still provided a kind neighborly “make yourself at home” flavor I just couldn't deny.

Skipping ahead to the fourth glass, the sheer quantity of beer that was inside me was now undeniable. I could feel it attempting to fill the voids within me, but to no avail. Regardless I had ventured thus far and had to carry on until completion. 

The fifth pour didn't quite fill the glass, which at this point was a relief. I stared at the slightly more than half full glass for a while. After competing the final glass, I could feel that I had also completed an unholy union of beer to body. I was also drunk. 

 Final review: Don't do this to yourself.

[dillonreviewsdrinks]

Mr. Q. Cumber: Sparkling Cucumber Beverage

This stuff smells just like a cucumber.  This stuff tastes just like a cucumber.  Fizzy cucumbers.  Try pairing with actual cucumbers. Experience the incredible taste combination of cucumbers and cucumbers.  You've done it Mr. Q. Cumber. You're a genius.  Dill's Rating: I like cucumbers, so I like this...but might as well eat cucumbers??

[dillonreviewsdrinks]

Reed's Kombucha: Hibiscus Ginger Grapefruit

Look at this crazy fermented mushroom tea. (No, not those kind of mushrooms.)   There's junk floating in this stuff, and it all likes to sink to the bottom in an unappetizing cluster...that's that mushroom stuff and it's buddies, fermenting away.  Open it up, and you get to hear a very satisfying fizz. This stuff is good. Like, super good. It's like they picked out the best part of each flavor added to it. The strange sweetness of hibiscus, the tartness of grapefruit, and the sting of ginger. These things work together like champions.  I enjoyed this drink to the last junk-filled drop.  Also, I guess it's good for you and stuff, that's what the bottle keeps telling me, anyway. So there's that. Dill's Rating: I wish this stuff wasn't so expensive. 

[dillonreviewsdrinks]

Huzzah! Could you review Sprecher's beer? :0

I can do that! I just have to find it...

[dillonreviewsdrinks]

Shipyard Melonhead

Hello! Welcome to the first review! Today I bought and drank some Shipyard Melonhead, let me tell you about this stuff: First off, the packaging on this stuff is great, it sure got my attention anyway. “A melon headed beer drinking bandit horse rider?? I’m sold!” The first thing that hit me when I took my first sip, was not so surprisingly, a candy-like watermelon taste, like some sort of funky watermelon soda.

This quickly faded, however, into a strange ale taste with an even stranger watermelony aftertaste. Not necessarily a bad flavor…but a flavor that drove me to quickly take another taste so that I could get the crazy sugary watermelon taste back.  Shipyard has crafted a beer that caused me to drink at a pace where I could avoid actually tasting the entirety of it.  As I kept drinking, the weirdness wore off a bit, and it ending up just being sort of pleasant.  This was a weird thing. Not a bad thing, but super weird. The flavors of watermelon and ale tried their best to be friends here, but it ended up being sort of an awkward conversation where neither one of them had much to say to the other.   Dill’s Rating: Was okay, probably won’t buy it again, though…