dillydally6969

[dillydally6969]

missing you

i missed yall and this acc too! should be reviving soon in celebration of season 4 xx

[dillydally6969]

do you have any fics in store?😏😏

so many girl i have so many wips i desperately need to finish but im just so unhappy w all of them i get burnt out easily :((

[dillydally6969]

PREY .ᐟ 𝓛OTTIE MATTHEWS

♱ spend one day with the deer, even a hunter learns to fear; where you and lottie prove who’s predator, who’s prey

♱ cw; slight!nsfw, angst, harsh language, violence, sexual tension, making out, dom!lottie

you’ve always been a hunter, since you could walk, you’ve learnt to cradle a rifle in your hands. you grew to love it, like a slave loved its master. you knew it, like another set of hands.

your father was a huntsman, and his father before him.

he loved with his expertise, the only role he ever assumed with you was a mentor; thus, you undertook that of a disciple.

you worshipped your father, and though he only loved you with a gun in your hands, you had never loved anybody as much as you loved him. that was, until you met her.

she made you questions your faith, your wit, and sometimes your identity. she was just, quite the unstoppable force.

you thought you were the hunter, dignified by the blood shed between your fingers--but was that all to you?

she had a look to her; that of a deer’s staring into headlights.

as cliche as it sounded, the way she spoke to you--no, when the two of you fought, her foremost reaction will always be to stare back at you. eyes wide, frozen, and startled.

you thought her to be awfully like the deer you’d slay.

like you were gazing through your scope, catching its eyes. it caught sight of you, but it appeared momentarily paralyzed by its innate, curious urge to scavenge. it is often an expression of confusion, or some plane of fear, as if caught between the instinct to flee, and the shock.

but by the time it realized it was staring straight into danger’s eyes, it was too late.

something about her, lottie matthews, reminded you of that.

nothing about her was threatening, from her almond eyes to her sun-kissed caramel tone, she exuded a soothing glow.

that’s why, of all the people you had imagined you would catch yourself ensnared in a power struggle with, you couldn’t bring yourself to accept that it was her.

especially when you were the voice of reason.

“hey, ranger! we’re running short on meat.” mari called.

you slammed the door shut behind you, a thick shawl of snow clustered on your shoulders drizzled around you. kissed by the cool flecks of ice, van let out a loud whine. you undid the strap of the rifle, lifting it over your head before setting it down by the door. frostbitten fingers clawed at the bandanas wrapped across every inch of skin on your head.

your eyes peered out the crevice you had left, your lashes frosted and your cheeks pink.

numb fingertips made your cask of torn dresses and cloth stitched together harder to shed, but eventually, you managed to yank the tight helm off your head.

the first thing you did was inhale, taking in as deep of a breath as you could before exhaling.

god, you missed air that didn’t burn your lungs with each breath. it was a blessing you had never appreciated more.

“another failed mission, 007?” mari snidely remarked.

the eerie glare you shot her way whilst undoing your boots was enough to silence her snarky comments. “it’s a barren hell out there. i barely got past the first grove.”

“maybe you could try the lake… maybe there’s fish under.”

every pair of eyes turned to melissa, peering back at her as if she had just said the most idiotic thing ever; because she did.

“i couldn’t even keep my finger on the trigger,” you muttered, “what makes you think i can hack through a frozen lake?”

“then what’re we supposed to do? starve?” misty cried.

when you felt the stinging ache of feel returning to your frost bitten fingers. you made your way over to where mari tended to the pot of a steaming concoction. your limbs stiff and taut, you grunted as your knees forcibly bent.

you sat, leant against the stone frame of the fireplace, eyes fluttering shut at the raging fire thawing your frigid body.

“i don’t know, quigley,” you sighed, “but i’m tapped out.”

“you can’t be tapped out, nat’s still sick--how about this, it’s still light out, maybe we could go back out there and look again. there has to be something.” tai prompted. she stormed towards the door, reaching for the gun.

you quickly stood to stop her, rushing over to usher her back with a hand up. “i’ve been out there all day, tai. i’m not stepping foot outside again until i can feel my fucking feet. and i’m sure as hell not letting you near a gun.”

“i can shoot. if you’re not gonna do your job, then i will.”

you clenched your jaw. “i’ll show you how to use a gun if you don’t back the hell off, turner.”

“guys,” lottie called softly. all heads snap towards the back.

“knock some sense into her,” tai groaned, crossing her arms. “or we’re all gonna fucking starve.”

“you don’t know the woods. if you go out there, i can promise you a death much more painful than starvation.”

“are you threatening me--?”

“who’s standing on the wrong end of this gun right now?”

“guys!” what once was lottie’s low, sensual voice turned sharp, this time enough to still all voices in the room. if anybody held such unspeakable power, it was her.

everybody seemed to submit unanimously, avoiding her eyes like it was some war crime. like they’d be wronging the throne.

“we can’t afford time being wasted on mindless arguing. we need to come up with something to ration through winter.” she announced, you swallowed a scoff. “y/n, hand me the gun.”

grimacing, you clutched it tighter. “what? fuck no.”

“i am protected by its generous hand, y/n. you’ve done well, now let me face it, it will provide what we need.”

“the land’s dead, lottie. and so is everything that lives on it.” you sneered, “animals won’t magically come out from hibernation because some dollar store jesus form wiskayok is walking herself through six feet of snow.”

“it hasn’t chosen you as a channel. accept it, and you shall see what greater good you can do by surrendering your position.”

“how about i just put a bullet through your fucking chest?” you challenged, cocking the rifle. your eyes never tore away from the taller, your hands steady, familiar on the gun.

“jesus, y/n, have you lost your fucking mind?” nat cried.

“this shit will blow straight through your chest cavity and pop your lungs like a balloon.” you gritted, “let’s see how your wilderness god saves you then, hm?”

“y/n, put the gun down!” ben yelled, “think rationally!”

“oh my god, travis, do something!” mari squealed, but the boy just scoffed back. “like what? she has a fucking gun!”

your breath small and your hands still, you glared lottie in the eye, your gaze unwavering. you’ve seen that look so many times before, oftentimes, they never stare back too long.

except, amidst those dark, glossy pupils, you sensed the unmistakable presence of serenity. despite facing with death.

like she was ready to embrace her as she comes. unafraid.

and what’s a hunter to its prey when no fear lies within them at the moment of reckoning?

“what do you say, lottie? wanna help a friend out here?”

“y/n, stop!” misty begged frantically, “killing lottie won’t save anybody--it won’t help! don’t do anything rash!”

“we need food, right? maybe this is the wilderness’ calling.” shauna chortled, evidently amused at the events unfolding before her. though you were aware of her demented, derailing state of mind since her stillborn son’s birth, you were somewhat glad somebody was standing in your corner.

though a gun was aimed uncomfortably close to her face, lottie remained indifferent, an eased expression across her features.

“you’re a hunter, you don’t kill without purpose.”

“wrong. i don’t care for what stands before my gun. as long as it breathes, it dies.” you muttered back through gritted teeth. your hands were steady now, thawed from fire raging in the ashy fireplace feet away. held up against your cheek, your finger settled on the trigger. “give me one good reason i shouldn’t shoot you in the fucking skull.”

“it speaks to you through me. as i stand, it protects you.”

“i don’t believe in faux religion, lottie. i believe what i see.”

you stared at her, she stared back into your headlight. unwavering, still and not willing to budge from your way.

“you’re still here, aren’t you? you’re here, those who aren’t, aren’t. it treasures you for a reason, it’s gated you from harsh conditions.” she preached, raising her arm, her fingers stretched to reach out for the snout of your rifle. “we need you. and it needs me. thankfully, it has blessed us with a fruitful spring. we just need to remain patient, our time will come.”

when her fingers came in reach of your gun, you jerked back.

instinctively, you spun the rifle, knocking her straight in the nose with the heel. lottie stumbled back, body thrashing through the wooden door and tumbled back into the snow as she reached for her bleeding nose.

before anybody could reach her, you pointed the gun at the few hesitant to help. “i’d think again.”

travis held both hands up, backing away. tucked behind him, cowering in fear, was mari and akilah, now unwilling to get in line of fire to help a groaning lottie to her feet.

it silenced, only the fire crackling inside could be heard.

lottie’s pained whining was muffled by the hand against her lips, blood staining her woollen sleeve.

“nobody blames you, y/n,” she sighed softly. “you did what you could, but the wilderness is not listening to you anymore.”

you didn’t say anything. you dropped your empty snares and looked her dead in the eye.

“you’re exhausted,” she continued, slowly propping herself up. she wiped at her nose, hissing at the sharp fracture at the bridge. “it understands your struggle, and it is seeking your strength. letting it guide you isn’t a sign of weakness, y/n, it just means you’ll be lead out of the darkness quicker.”

“i’d be really careful with my next words if i were you.”

she didn’t flinch. she sat engulfed in white, fingers trembling as her breath shook. “you don’t have to be afraid. this burden was never yours. you don’t have to bear it alone anymore.”

“you think this is about burden?” you snarled. “this is blood. my father taught me to skin a buck when I was six. you talk to trees and chase ghosts. i kill to keep us alive.”

your hands stilled, your eyes dull and dark. threatening.

her pleas were silent, but for a second, you wanted to end it--to silence her voice forever, bury her prophecies in the snow.

then your eyes caught sight of the cross around her neck, the one your father would’ve had branded on you if he could. a pendent holding all that your father had to give, one forced from your hands and collared around her throat like a thorned choker when she was crowned queen. she’d worn it every day since. you remembered your hands shaking as you tied it around her neck, teary-eyed and lip quivering as you parted with the last bit of your heritage. you remembered how she’d whispered “thank you” like it mattered.

your finger twitched on the trigger. then you stopped.

your breath fogged the air between you, and for a moment, all was still. it was like the eyes she described were real--greedy, watching you from between the nooks.

you stood. no one dared speak. lottie coughed and curled in on herself in the snow, her lips bloodied, but still whispering prayers to the woods like they had ears for her preachings.

you sighed, the gun lowering. you bit your tongue.

“get the fuck out of my face.” you hissed, “and stay away.”

first to rush to the maui girl’s aid was van. akilah tended to her nose with a cloth, as more yellowjackets gathered to usher their freezing queen back inside.

left standing outside, the door shut behind them. the cold crept up your spine, working fast to seize whatever warmth channeled through your blood. but you sat there anyway.

perhaps being a killer was in your blood. but mercy--as well.

seven hours in the cold, from dawn ‘til dusk, you were out voyaging your way through depths of snow. all for nothing.

the last thing you thought you’d do when you returned was sit on the steps outside, flushed cheeks kissed by the frosty air as warmth raged on inside. but the cold seemed to be the last thing crossing your mind right then.

you were so sick of everybody, so sick of their demands.

like dogs biting the hand that feeds.

they were so vicious, so unforgiving, digging their fangs into you like you weren’t the only reason they hadn’t died from famine yet. why were you working so hard? busting your ass during the day, losing feeling in your hands? for them?

ungrateful bastards. all of them. only knew how to take.

you missed the team you once were, the kind that didn’t eat people, that didn’t orbit around some supernatural entity.

your friends. the ones who saw beyond your value as a hunter.

now, looking at you, they frown, they sneer. unless you walked through those doors with a deer hogtied over your shoulder, they can’t even bear a glance your way without whining.

your thoughts kept spinning in circles, dragging you back to the past like a current you couldn’t escape. back to the day the plane had gone down. back to the first time you saw her at soccer tryouts. you were fighting for the last defender position, and you remembered absolutely resenting her for posing such competition for you. when a senior was pardoned for an injury, you both made the team. you recalled so vividly the way she got under your skin, but looking back, it seemed so trivial.

she was always different. she never really belonged to you--or to anyone. she belonged to something bigger.

there were nights you’d lie awake in the dark, the warmth of her body pressed against yours as the others slept around you, and you’d wonder if she was awake and present with you or not. you’d get your answer when you hear her gulp, the faint thumping of her racing heart against your back.

every time you thought about saying it, about closing that distance, she'd pull away, lost in her visions or her prayers, as if some god was whispering things in her ear that you couldn't hear, couldn’t understand. and since it lead nowhere, the little connection you thought you had died with everything else in the spring as winter swallowed everything in its midst.

“y/n?” you didn’t need to look up to know that voice. it was the same one converting half the girls into wilderness devotes.

“come inside, dinner is ready.”

you scoffed, shaking your head as you glanced down at the snowed top of your boots. your picked at your fingers.

“what dinner? i haven’t caught anything in months.”

“you shan’t blame yourself,” she replied in a gentle tone, “winter is unmerciful. but even such cruel conditions have its purpose. trust it has something great installed for us.”

“yeah, well, maybe tell them that.” you gestured backwards at the cabin, nestling the rifle in your lap. “‘cause i think belt soup has run its course as a house favourite.”

“it’s going to be dark soon. i urge you to come inside.”

you felt so ungrateful. you felt so selfish. you wondered if this was what jackie had wished for the night of first snowfall.

“i can’t stand another second in there, lottie.” you snapped, “i’d rather sit alone in the fucking cold, okay? just fuck off.”

part of you resented her for preying on your vulnerability.

for toying with what you thought was feelings for her.

lottie cocked her head aside, glancing down at the back of your frame in sympathy. she felt for your defiance, she did.

it wasn’t easy, carrying twenty lives in your hands.

kneeling, she took a seat beside you, her breath puffing clouds from her nose. she was only clothed in a sheer boho dress now, laura lee’s, and a thin fur jacket. you assumed the other was taken to be washed by one of her lackeys.

she was shivering, but she didn’t let that interfere,

“do you want me to hold a gun to your head again?” you murmured, “‘cause honestly it’s very tempting right now.”

she just smiled, exhaling through her nose softly.

“tell me the truth, y/n. as i see it, you’ve been burdened by your responsibilities, would you explain to me what exactly has been troubling you?” lottie inquired gently. carefully.

“you wouldn’t understand.”

“how are you certain? you haven’t even tried sharing.”

“you’re a trust fund baby with more rooms in your mansion than i have meals in a day. you’ve never raised a finger in your fucking life, how would you know what it feels like to work for anything?” you scoffed, “y’know, i find it fitting you’ve been named queen, you just sit on your ass and wait around for people like me to serve up a day of near-death experience.”

“is that what’s angering you so much?”

no. why are you talking to me like i’m one of them?

your breath hitched. “answering with more questions isn’t helping your case, lot. if anything, i want to shoot you blank in the face more than i ever have right now.”

listening to your words closely, lottie could make out the subtext pretty clearly. it didn’t take much to read who you were--who you’ve been melded to be, but not everybody had just the right eye to catch those little slivers.

you were raised to kill; hence, your instinct was to fight.

she was raised to survive; thus, hers was to run.

or perhaps, it was the her when medicated. because since she had been off her medication, her need to flee has diminished to such a tiny degree, she had no reason to fear anymore. she didn’t fear the hunter, and she didn’t fear the kiss of death looming over the rifle’s snout. she had no reason to fear you.

“your father isn’t here.” she simply responded.

the reply caught you off guard, and your eyes widened for a moment, revealing more than you initially wanted.

“there’s nothing to prove,” she continued, “nobody to please.”

“no.” you snapped sharply, “i devote my time--risk my life to feed you. and instead of the gratitude i’m owed, i get shit from everybody because of something i can’t control.”

“but you’ve showed them tonight who is in control.”

she reached out, resting a hand against your shoulder. you tensed, jerking away instinctively as your grip on the rifle tightened. she sighed through her nose, smiling softly. “i’m not challenging you, y/n. i’m simply inquiring about your feelings. that’s what i’m here for, and as you have so selflessly shown, i intend to serve my purpose.”

“your purpose is to be a cult leader?” you scoffed, “y’know what? i don’t even care for your bullshit, lottie. do whatever you want, but leave me out of it. I quit.”

oh, if only it were that simple. like you had any place to go.

“you won’t leave us to fend for ourselves. that’s not who you are.” she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “you can’t submit to winter at its harshest hour. don’t give it that satisfaction, because you shall not turn into its prey.”

what the actual fuck kinda shit is this chick on?

you glanced at her, studying the soft lines of her face, the scar across her forehead. for a moment, you thought you saw something in her eyes--something not quite like the usual madness that made up most of lottie’s spiritual persona. it was like she was with you now, not lost in her visions, not tangled in whatever wild schizophrenic mumbo jumbo she clung to.

“you should go eat,” you muttered, staring off to the woods you had grown too familiar with. “they’re probably waiting for you to do grace.”

the joke didn’t faze her. you felt her gaze train on your lips.

she didn’t react, just leaned back slightly, her eyes still fixed on you. here voice was softer when she spoke again.

“we need you. i need you… will you come eat?”

your heart began hammering against your chest. that was the closest you had ever seen lottie come to admitting anything personal, anything real. anything human.

“i can’t.” you replied, voice quieter now, defenseless.

her lips parted to speak, but instead, she reached out, brushing a finger over the back of your hand, a gentle gesture that felt almost like an apology. a soft, fragile thing that caught you off guard. you let out a shaky breath, and for the first time that night, you felt the tension in your chest start to loosen. you didn’t pull away from her touch.

“how’s your nose?” you asked, voice hoarse.

lottie smile was small, a chuckle squeezed from her. “it’s nothing. i’ve had worse soccer injuries--i would say you hit quite gentle, actually, compared to those cucks at st. john’s.”

“fuck off,” you shot back, unable to keep the laugh you let out. “piss me off again, maybe i’ll show you how i really hit.”

“oh, yeah?” she beckoned, “i’m utterly shaking in fear.”

you turned your head to look at her, your pulse quickening when you caught her doe eyes already darting across your features. indecisive on where they should settle; undecided on which was her favourite. “i don’t that to be all i’ll ever be.”

“what?” she inquired, “a hunter?”

“a predator.” you corrected, “that’s all they’ll ever see me as, the one who pulls the trigger. it strips me of who i am.”

“i understand. i’m not a martyr,” she cut in, her voice sharp for a second, before her hands lowered to rest on her lap. “or at least, i’m sure that’s the figure they prefer i be. you need to serve a purpose here to survive. and i’m just trying to live.”

“why do you do that?” you asked, barely above a whisper. “why are you playing games with me, it’s so sadistic and cruel.”

lottie’s lips parted as if she wanted to answer, but the words didn’t come. she just shifted closer, and before you could stop her, she leaned in. the kiss was slow, tentative at first, like she was testing the waters. her lips were soft, warm against your cold skin. you tasted the tinge of iron still smeared across her upper lip. you hesitated only for a moment before your hand found her face, holding her closer, pulling her in deeper.

when you pulled back, both of you breathing a little heavier, lottie’s eyes were searching yours.

“you’re make it harderfor me to fucking hate you right now,” you muttered. “I’m not some… zombie for you to save.”

the cold air cut through your skin, but you didn’t feel it. not anymore. your body was too consumed by the heat of her, by the pull of her presence. she had you pinned against the supper beam beside the steps of the cabin, her hands gripping your arms with an eagerness that made your pulse race.

this wasn’t the lottie you knew. the one who spoke in riddles, who stayed distant, wrapped in her own world of spiritual nonsense. no, this was a different side of her--a side you wish you could see more often, one that was commanding, and undeniably predatory. unlike her usual doe persona.

her lips hovered just a breath away from yours. you wanted to move, to close the distance, but you couldn’t.

“you’ve gone so quiet, y/n,” lottie’s voice was low, almost mocking, as she traced a finger down your cheek. “i thought you liked to be in control, deer hunter.”

you swallowed, but your throat was dry. “i--i do.”

lottie smirked, the glint in her eyes sending a shiver down your spine. she was in control now. and you were the one helpless beneath her. her lips dove into your neck, her teeth grazing your throat like fangs choking a last breath from its prey.

your breath came out in a sharp gasp as she shifted, one hand sliding to the back of your neck, the other gripping your hip to hold you in place. she’s was stronger than you remembered, but she had always been at a physical advantage--even in soccer. you were at her mercy, and you let her consume you.

lottie’s lips crashed down onto yours, ferocious and demanding. there was no hesitation in her kiss--only the hunger, the need, the fervent want that she had buried so deep for so long. you tried to respond, to pull her closer, but you were trapped, and there was something intoxicating about it.

she pulled back just enough to look at you, her breath mingling with yours, lips swollen and slightly parted.

“will you surrender yourself then, y/n? to me?”

the weight of her gaze, the heat of her body against yours, made you lose your train of thought. you were drowning in her presence, breathing her in like it was the bane of your life.

you nodded. she smirked in satisfaction.

lottie’s hands moved lower now, tugging at your clothes with an urgency that made your heart race even faster. she was taking what she wanted, and you couldn’t do a damn thing to stop her. not that you wanted to.

her lips found your neck once again, biting gently at the sensitive skin there, and you gasped, the sensation sending a spark of heat straight to your core. you were her prey now, and the realization made you ache in ways you hadn’t expected.

she chuckled darkly against your skin, the sound low and rich with pleasure. “you like this, don’t you?”

“yes,” you breathed, unable to stop yourself. “i like it.”

her grin widened, triumphant. she knew it. she felt it. the way you melted into her touch, the way she had you exactly where she wanted you. she knew she would win you over one way or another. lottie leaned in again, this time taking control of the kiss in a way that sent your head spinning. she was all-consuming, all-powerful in this moment, and you were lost to her, unable to keep up with the frantic pace of her touch, her lips, her body pressing harder against you.

your hands moved up to her chest, but she was quicker, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head.

the sudden shift made your pulse spike. she was showing you just how helpless you were, just how little power you had left. and that feeling, being nothing but her prey, only made the heat between you both burn hotter.

“well, my darling,” lottie said, her voice a mixture of desire and teasing. “i do believe it’s time for dinner.”

an; holy fuck this was a hefty one lmao. hope yall are enjoying reading these as much as i am writing them cuz this is my fix for the next two years until the next season (😔)

happy reading xx

[dillydally6969]

do you have any tips on characterisation of the yj’s for someone just starting out with writing fics/a long fic? (mainly nat and lottie, because out of them all, i tend to struggle with them the most. but i’m hella bad at portraying everyone accurately lmaoo so i’ll take anything) mainly no crash AU

tips and advice for writing the yellowjackets!

nat is a very self assured character and she’s kind of a people pleaser who falls victim to her own humanity. i kind of write her as someone who stands up for what’s right but loses respect and her authority because she’s too morally right for what the wilderness has done to the others. i’d give nat an anxious habit, like biting her nails or picking at her shirt.

in a no crash, i picture nat to be a tough cookie on the outside but a little insecure and overthinking on the inside. she’s def the type to cuss someone out in public while defending her friends and then drink her anxiety away when she’s alone.

lottie’s an easier one to write, i use more formal language when it’s wilderness lottie, but i see medicated lottie as someone who is pretty sassy but has a gentle edge to her. she’s definitely a good energy to be around on the team, but loves bitching people out and gossiping behind closed doors.

some other distinct characteristics of the others would be van always joking around, making sarcastic comments and teasing her friends; tai is van’s warden, making sure the girl doesn’t say things too out of line and is definitely a more obvious power hungry figure. she’s consistently fighting to lead something or dominate but will still put the needs of her peers first (will be first to soothe shauna when she’s mourning jackie, will do basically anything for you if you’re somebody she loves).

shauna is a hard write for me in the wilderness, i just make her unhinged as hell lol. but pre crash shauna is definitely a pushover who has an outburst or two once in a while and then tries to play it off while everybody reacts awkwardly.

mari is a snobby pain in the ass for any authority figure, puts her own survival first. she’ll kiss ass, back stab, or poke the bear if it means she doesn’t get singled out to die. she’ll make a snarky remark of two here and there, trying to provoke someone who’s emotionally very easy to manipulate.

[dillydally6969]

do a masterlist plz

up!

[dillydally6969]

𝖄ellowjackets centric blog, writing for any and every yellowjacket because the whole team needs some sugar!!

𝕮aution! this blog may contain nsfw content, all links will be labelled ** if reader’s discretion is advised. i mostly write f!r, but i write gn!r too. men and minors dni.

˚⟡˖ ࣪ ⋆౨ৎ 𝕵ACKIE TAYLOR

♱ greedy; where your best friend, jackie sends you mixed signals, so you punish her for toying with your loyalty

˚⟡˖ ࣪ ⋆౨ৎ 𝕷OTTIE MATTHEWS

♱ sovereign; where your girlfriend, nat isn’t too comfortable with you spending too much time with lottie, but who were you to deny your queen’s desires?

♱ prey; where you toy with predator/prey dynamics

˚⟡˖ ࣪ ⋆౨ৎ 𝕾HAUNA SHIPMAN

♱ pleaser; where you are the antler queen, but shauna has no problem pulling your strings

˚⟡˖ ࣪ ⋆౨ৎ 𝕹AT SCATORCCIO

♱ crowned masterlist; where you fight situationship!nat for the antler queen title, and you learn the hard way power proves itself a greater driving force than your feelings for her

[dillydally6969]

PLEASER .ᐟ 𝓢HAUNA SHIPMAN

♱ though you were the antler queen, shauna seemed oddly comfortable bossing you around

♱ cw; slight!nsfw under the cut, harsh language, f!r, boyfriend!shauna, natstoryline!r, shauna would’ve been nicer if they just let my girl lezz out :/

“loser says ‘what’.” mari hissed in her ear in passing.

shauna’s head snapped back, but before she could spit back, you were quick to pounce to your feet. “knock it off, mar!”

the butcher brushed past you, charging at mari.

tackling the raven-haired girl to the ground, shauna held mari’s arm against her back. she held up the bandaged fist, leaning down to whisper through the struggle, “say one more fucking word, and it’ll be your whole fucking arm.”

“jesus--!” you barked, surging to split the two writhing on the ground. “enough already!”

tai and melissa lunged to grab shauna by her arms. you held mari, shoving her behind you. you caught the snarl on the brunette’s face, holding up a hand, gesturing for her to calm down. “what the fuck, shipman?”

“your pet is being a bitch. maybe you should string that leash a little tighter.” she spat through a clenched jaw.

“did you just call me a pet--?”

“okay, enough!” you stepped to place yourself just in the centre, between the two of them. “you guys want me to play the warden? fine. starting tomorrow, both of you are on house arrest. i don’t want to see either of you out of your huts and anywhere near each other. did i make myself clear?”

shauna jerked out of her guards’ grasp, rolling her eyes.

you raised your eyebrows, hands on your hips. eyeing between them when you got no response. “am i clear?” you repeated.

mari nodded, exhaling shakily. god, was she relieved.

if it weren’t for you, she was sure she would’ve been in store as next winter’s rations by now.

as you watched mari stroll off, you drew shauna’s gaze.

the butcher stepped towards you, her rough hand latching unto your arm harshly. her lips brushing against the helix of your ear as she growled, “hut. now.”

you let her drag you off to her hut, indifferent to the looks of question a couple pair of eyes flashed your way.

“what?” you scoffed, hands on your hips. “what is it?”

“what’d you mean ‘what’? you totally steamrolled me out there.” she barked, “are you fucking serious?”

ah, it might be appropriate to mention; you and shauna had a rather… complicated relationship dynamic.

her and jackie used to be a package deal. you wanted jackie, shauna came with. one couldn’t, and wouldn’t, go without the other. but after the crash, the bond between the two grew estranged, and eventually, shauna sought solace in the one yellowjacket that had yet to turn their back upon her.

she was desperate. she was pregnant. you were there.

you were there to say the things jackie wouldn’t, the ones she hopelessly needed to hear.

“i can’t have you and mari stirring up a storm around here anymore,” you sighed, “tension’s high and morale’s low, the last thing we need is some petty playground beef.”

“you’re gonna walk out there and let us go, warden.”

her little acts of rebellion were what she needed, so you let the first couple slip. but you were deeply regretting letting her get away with them, because now she won’t stop.

your authority meant little to shauna, and you need an urgent revamp to remind her just who was put in charge.

“no.” you replied. you swore you saw steam from her ears.

“no?” she replied, her lips curling into a vindictive smirk, her eyebrows still deeply furrowed. “did you just say ‘no’ to me?”

you crossed your arms, swallowing your nerves.

“yes, shipman. i said no.”

“stop fucking calling me that.” you were quickly pinned to the wall, shauna’s hand around your neck. a stunned gasp escaped your lips, her fingers etching her mark into your skin. “here’s what’s gonna happen. i’m not gonna be on house arrest, no, but mari will be. you’ll make sure that little pest stays out of my lane, and you won’t shame me like that in front of everybody again. do you understand?”

you let out a small whimper, nodding frantically.

her grip on your throat tightened, your pulse racing against her fingertips. “use your words.” she ordered, her breath grazing the burning tip of your ears.

“yes.” you managed, squirming beneath her.

“yes, ‘what’?” she asked, you knew just how to appease her.

“yes, shauna.” you breathed, feeling her warm palm creep up your shirt and caress your waist. “i understand.”

“good.” she hummed, her hand on your neck gliding smoothly up the curve of your neck to grab your jaw. her dull, doe eyes peered down at your lips, her own parting as her chest heaved with each quickening breath.

“wait, is that shauna?” gen questioned, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes for a closer glimpse.

melissa’s head snapped towards the back of camp, where they watched the butcher sharpen her knife. her shaggy hair parted to the side, and her flannel sleeves rolled up to her elbows.

“isn’t she supposed to be on house arrest?”

“right, ‘cause shauna’s the most obedient person we know,” melissa scoffed, “she’s probably violating her probation just to piss y/n off for putting her in time out--here.”

the blonde led the other towards your hut, where you were in a meeting with nat and tai about the logistics of camp.

upon the two shielding any light pouring through the arched opening of your private hut, all three pairs of your eyes looked up at the two standing amidst your doorway.

“y/n, can we talk to you for a second?” melissa asked.

you raised an eyebrow, you lips parting in hesitance. you glanced back towards tai and nat sitting on the cushions before you. you scoffed softly, a polite smile across your lips. “i’m kinda in the middle of something, ladies.”

“it’s kinda urgent,” gen added, her grimace evident.

you sighed, but after a quick nod of approval from tai and an indifferent shrug from nat, you gestured for them to continue.

“we think… shauna’s plotting something.” melissa’s voice fell to a hushed whisper at the end, “she’s either planning on jumping you or mari, we don’t know which.”

the hut fell silent for a moment.

you paused, rescinding your though before speaking. “what?”

“uhm, shauna? the big raging monster who’s been biting people and shit?” gen cocked her head. “she’s dangerous.”

“what makes you say that--? the killing part, i mean.” your eyebrows furrowed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

on top of lottie’s supernatural bs, conspiracies were too much.

“she’s not in her hut, she’s strutting around camp like she didn’t fucking assault mari.” melissa’s thumb pointed outside.

“uh,” you stammered, “i, uh… lifted the punishment.”

“what?” tai hissed, “are you batshit? you can’t just let shauna get away with treating mari like a chew toy.” she shot forward. “this is exactly what we were just talking about, y/n, soon enough, she’ll actually believe she can get away with anything. you’ve gotta put that ban back right now.”

you groaned, “look, i talked to shauna after and she knows what she did was wrong! it wasn’t like mari didn’t light the fuse, it’s not fair i punish her.”

“isn’t that why you punished them both in the first place?”

you sighed, rolling your eyes before glaring at the italian. as if mentally telling her, ‘not helping, nat!’

“what you did was nice and just. now that you’ve got shauna running free and mari serving time, you’ve tipped the scale again.” tai crossed her arms, “you’ve gotta set your foot down with her before she actually does do some damage.”

you held your hands up. “okay, okay! i’ll talk to her.”

you shuffled up, scurrying between melissa and gen, who made way for you. the two disperse as well, eager to catch the drama of your confrontation. as you disappear from their view, tai and nat share a mutual look of skepticism.

“how much do you wanna bet they’re fucking?”

tai sneered at nat’s prompt. “oh, come on. like y/n would ever.”

the blonde chuckled, shaking her head. “dude, think about it for a second, it’s so fucking obvious.”

“see, i actually like y/n, so i wouldn’t wish this upon her.”

“really?” nat scoffed, “how does two weeks of chores sound?”

tai narrowed her eyes, pursing her lips. after a brief pause, she slapped nat’s hand harshly in a shake, sealing the reward.

when shauna saw you approaching her, the first thing she could see was the hickey peeking out of your shorts with every stride you took. her heart swelled with pride.

she smirked to herself, setting her knife down, bracing herself for whatever excuse of a scolding you were about to give.

“shipman, get back in your hut!” you yelled harshly.

taken aback by the alternative approach, she scoffed. “what?”

“you heard me.” you spat, grabbing her arm and yanking her up. your hands planted on her chest, nudging her backwards towards her hut. “i don’t want you out of here until the sun comes up tomorrow morning.”

“the fuck?” she grabbed your wrists, “hold on--!”

“no, you listen to me.” you hissed, “people are starting to notice me cutting you slack, i want you to take this punishment and think about how you can control your anger issues.”

“hey! have you forgotten who you’re talking to?”

you shoved her straight into her hut. she fell back into the cushions making a bed, watching as you stood over her with your arms crossed. you clenched your jaw, foot stepping straight between her legs and down against her chest when she tried to stand up. she snarled.

“stay down.” you ordered, “and stay here. i’m warning you.”

shauna didn’t flinch. she cocked her head aside slightly, one brow arching, that slow, maddening smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. replacing what once was that menacing scowl, you were--as twisted as it sounded--beginning to miss it. “i was hungry,” she said with a newfound softness, tucking the knife in her hand back into her belt without breaking eye contact. “didn’t think the queen would mind her butcher feeding herself. thought you’d have better things to care for.”

you let your foot dig into her chest just more in warning, trying not to let your face betray how your skin lit up every time she challenged you like this. “i didn’t ban you from eating. i banned you from leaving this hut after you attacked mari.”

"banned?" shauna snorted, but not before dragging the tips of her fingers across your ankle, slow and deliberate. “i was exempted by your majesty, remember? besides, mari’s a mouthy little bitch. it was time she got dealt with.”

you watched her face contort from one of annoyance to one of calculated seduction. “that’s not your call.”

she stopped, turned to face you fully. you could see it then--how much she loved this, the push and pull, the crackle of tension between rule and rebellion. the knowing you could yell at her all you wanted, but still submit the moment she touched you. she chuckled, the sound made your stomach churn. she grabbed your leg gently. “and you think it’s yours?”

you gulped, but held your ground, heart pounding.

you could only stand and watch as she moved your leg effortlessly, propping herself up so she could be facing you just one breath away. she smirked, the lines under her eyes creasing as she nodded, urging you to answer her.

“I’m the one wearing the crown. not you.”

she laughed--quiet and mocking, eyes flicking to the stupid necklace akilah had made you with an antler pendent.

“you’re right. you wear it,” she murmured, chuckling lowly. “but you don’t know what to do with it.”

you rolled your eyes. “just stay in the hut, shipman.”

she crossed her arms. “yeah, right,” she whispered, stepping even closer, so she could grab your waist, pulling you into her. “are you done with your little act? got that out your system?”

wow, were you really that disrespected as a leader?

“watch it,” you hissed, “before you make me do something both of us don’t want.”

she stared at you for a long second, eyes dark and daring, and then, she smiled. “okay,” she said, grabbing the side of your hips. “you’re the queen. i’ll stay right here.”

a bad feeling riddled you as she stared back at you with a submissive edge, but it felt like the crown was starting to fit.

dinner was thin that night--rabbit, again, stewed with dried berries in a dented pot that hissed softly over the fire. you sat a little apart from the others, still-full cup of stew in your hands, watching the steam curl and vanish into the cool spring night. shauna was across from you, expression unreadable, chewing slow like nothing had happened. like she hadn’t spent the last hours testing your chair, leaving her mark in the crown.

tai dropped down beside you with a grunt and handed you a wooden bowl. “the queen gets extra treats. eat up.”

she said casually, elbows resting against her knees.

“says who?” you scoffed, staring down at the bowl of jerky.

“says me. you’ve barely touched that thing of stew, so you’re obviously not into it.” she nodded towards the dented cup you’ve been toying with for the entirety of dinner. “i got some leftover jerky from the shed. you need to eat something.”

“ah. thanks.” you didn’t answer, picking at the food, though you weren’t hungry. tai, of course, didn’t drop it as she should.

“y’know if you ever need someone to lay it on shauna, im happy to help,” tai muttered under her breath. “she’s been out of control lately, and you--” she paused, eyes narrowing as her gaze flicked to the collar of your shirt. “what the hell is that?”

you froze, jerking away as her fingers reach your neck.

tai reached out before you could pull away, brushing her fingers against the edge of the bruise that peeked out above your neckline--a deep purple mark blooming just below your collarbone. “that’s a hickey,” she announced, just a tad louder than you had hoped. you quickly shushed her.

“it’s not,” you lied, stiffly tugging your coat closed. “it’s probably just some tick bite i got from the lake.”

tai scoffed. “oh, come on, if anybody here knows what a hickey looks like, it’s me. lemme see that!”

you clenched your jaw, avoiding her eyes. “tai, it’s not--!”

“you liar!” she squealed, your collar tugged down to your collarbone with her fingers. “who in the hell is our lovely y/n l/n screwing around here?”

“shh!” you hissed, “can you keep it down! it’s not a hickey!”

“getting some isn’t a crime, y/n. just tell me who it is.”

“does it matter?” you scoffed, “it doesn’t change anything.”

“of course it matters,” tai replied, nudging you with her elbow. “you’re the antler queen, if there’s another potential antler queen or king around here, i need to know.”

“there isn’t,” you snapped, a little too fast. “let it go, turner.”

tai raised an eyebrow at the defensive edge to your tone, but didn’t press further. she held her hands up. “you’re the boss.”

when she stood to leave, most likely to share her findings with van, you pulled your coat tighter and adjusted your shirt, making sure the bruise was well-hidden now. from across the fire, shauna was watching again--eyes half-lidded, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth as she toyed with her knife. like she knew tai caught you, and she liked it.

you rolled your eyes, but still, your stomach fluttered. you hated her for that. almost as much as you hated yourself.

you don’t remember exactly when everything fell into a deep pit of insanity, but you caught yourself standing amidst wave after wave of chaos and hysteria.

the camp was loud; panicked voices overlapping, boots crunching as people circled and recircled the same patch of forest clearing like mari would suddenly reappear if they just looked hard enough. but she didn’t.

and god, did you wish she’d just pop up like her mari self and say, “sike! you guys should see your faces.”

her spot at dinner was still untouched, her blanket rumpled.

and everyone knew it wasn’t like her to wander off this long without making some drama about it first.

“she probably slipped and fell into a ravine,” van offered unhelpfully, arms crossed and voice too chipper. “or she’s hiding as some crazy trick to get us worried.”

“she was being a brat all day,” nat added, adjusting her hair-band. “but even mari wouldn’t play games like this.”

then misty’s voice cut through the murmur like a blade. “so we’re really not gonna talk about the fact that shauna was the last one to threaten her and then mari’s suddenly gone?”

all heads turned towards the butcher. she didn’t flinch.

Just be leaned against the post of the meat-drying rack, arms crossed, her expression calm but simmering.

“oh, please,” she scoffed, “if i wanted to get rid of her, you wouldn’t even realize she’s missing.”

“jesus,” misty gasped, clutching the coach’s jacket like pearls. “are we hearing this? she just basically confessed.”

“you better watch your mouth, quigley,” shauna snapped.

the shouting started to swell again--tai stepping forward to place herself between shauna and misty, nat’s hand twitching near the knife in her pocket, lottie getting involved with some wilderness preaching. you needed to tame the fire--and fast.

you let it go for a few seconds, long enough to watch how quick everyone was to turn on each other.

it uneased you, as it has unraveled under your rule.

“enough!” you yelled at the top of your lungs.

everybody froze, their voices ceasing. you looked around, your voice more steady than you felt. “we’re not turning on each other right now because mari can’t afford it. what happened to her isn’t important, finding her is our priority. so until we find mari fucking ibarra, i don’t want to hear another accusation.”

“but--!” misty chimed. tai eyed you skeptically.

“i said enough,” you repeated, your tone final. “no one’s guilty until we know. that’s how this works.”

silence stretched. the group shifted uncomfortably, glancing at each other, but no one challenged you.

shauna gave you a cool stare, cross-armed and watching.

“we need to split up,” you announced, “cover as much ground as we can before it gets dark. now, nat and i will lead two parties. i want travis and akilah to lead their own as well. find yourself a group, spread out into even numbers, and find her.”

you waved for nat’s gun, she reluctantly handed it over.

“now, who’s coming with me?” you slung it over your head.

sending people into the woods, half-fed and directionless, wasn’t a plan--it was a risk. realistically, mari had been gone for the better part of a day, and most of the team weren’t exactly well-fed. still, only few of you knew the woods. the others could barely tell north from their own footprints.

you weren’t sure who you were hoping would join you, exactly. but you were sure you needed more than the rifle for security.

especially cuz you were queen; antlers are prone to predators.

wordlessly, you felt a presence loom over your shoulder.

shauna had stepped across the quad to stand beside you.

her antic got a few side-eyes, but no one said anything. they knew shauna was one loyal son of a bitch, especially to her newYou could feel Tai’s stare burning into your side, but you kept your gaze on Shauna, steady and unreadable.

“good luck keeping an eye on that one,” gen scoffed.

“hey.” you called, glaring at the girl. “one more word, and you’re on bucket duty ‘til winter.”

behind you, shauna shot misty a smug smirk. taunting her.

how could you, of all people, their sacred leader who always put the team’s wellbeing first defend a sadist as cruel as shauna? it made no sense, how you were always flying to her rescue, even when she didn’t quite deserve it.

the woods were quiet in that eerie, smothering sense. branches creaked, the wind stirred dry needles along the ground, but there was no sign of mari.

just the trees, serene silence--and sexual tension.

“really? are you still stuck on that whole ‘i’m the queen, listen to me’ thing?” she scoffed, you could hear the smirk. “come on, i didn’t take you for such a boring old dictator.”

“drop it.” you ordered, hand tightening around the gun strap.

“why’re you so worried about her anyway?” shauna scoffed behind you, her tone dry, “maybe she finally realized no one liked her and ran off into the trees to make it dramatic.”

you stopped in your tracks, turned. “can you not be such a heartless asshole for five minutes?”

she blinked, taken aback. “wow. thought sex would fuck the annoying mom voice out of you.”

you exhaled sharply. “you’re literally the worst person ever.”

shauna followed, boots crunching loudly, deliberately. “you chose to be alone with me, l/n. why’re you whining now?”

“i wanted to make sure you wouldn’t come back alone and i’d end up finding misty dead in a ditch somewhere.”

“you sure that’s the only reason?” she teased, a flicker of heat in her voice. she leant in, kissing your jaw. “mari’s been out here this long already, what’s another hour or so?”

you shoved her. “god, do you ever take anything seriously? she could be dead, for fuck’s sake, and you’re horny?”

she furrowed her brows, her hand on your hip slipping down. “what do you want me to do? cry about it? hold your hand and whisper that everything’s gonna be okay?”

“can we just… not? please?” you snapped, louder than you meant to. “i’m already so tired from managing a dozen people’s every move seven days of the week, i don’t need you giving me more problems, okay?”

a beat of silence. the wind rustled above.

she stepped in close, too close, the sharp scent of smoke and pine clinging to her--well, your--clothes. “then let me help.”

you opened your mouth to mutter out some poor excuse, but she kissed you before you could answer. hard and fast. her hands gripping your hips like she could wring control out of your body if she just held tight enough.

you tried to pull back. “shauna--!”

she kissed you again, slower this time, and your resistance melted like snow against skin. her fingers slid beneath your shirt, palms hot even through your shirt, grounding you and overwhelming you all at once.

“you’re swamped, right?” she murmured against your neck. “i want you to relax… let me help you with your duties.”

perhaps you lacked respect for your own place, but god help you, when shauna touched you like that--like you were the only thing she could still claim as she rages at the world--you felt like something she needed, something that made her human again. and who was a queen who didn’t serve her people?

even if this version of shauna only lasted when she wanted.

so you let yourself melt into her arms, backing into the trunk of the nearest tree. her lips trace the dip of your neck, tongue wet and hot against your skin. her hands melded around your hips just right, before she met you for another quick and needy kiss.

the moment you stepped back into camp, the shift was obvious. it felt like they knew you wasted the better part of the day letting shauna devour you whole instead of searching for your missing teammate.

your hair mussed beneath your bandana, and your cheeks still hadn’t cooled from the sharp burn of shauna’s hands.

you didn’t meet anyone’s eyes as you set the rifle down by the fire. your lips were swollen, your jacket half-zipped, and every inch of you screamed touched.

you tried to act normal, clearing your throat.

“so… anything?” you glanced around the circle, and perhaps it was your brain overthinking, but you caught some suspicion.

shauna, unlike you, looked like she just went for a nature walk.

she strolled in behind you, chin high, the usual tension drained from her shoulders and replaced with something looser.

she stood behind you, sneer looming over your shoulder like she was your guard dog. nobody looked your way as she glared down every single person around that circle, her hand on the small of your waist. “are you guys fucking mute? answer her.”

“uh, no.” nat reported, gulping. “nothing south of camp.”

“no sign of her up north either.” travis added.

you glanced over at akilah, a hopeful glint in your eyes.

alas, she shook her head regretfully. you could only let your eyes flutter shut as your heart sunk to your stomach.

“okay, uh… good effort, everyone.” shauna slipped in as everybody waited in bated breath for your reply. you could only sigh softly, you hand flush against your forehead. “we try again at the crack of dawn. the moment the sun rises, we’re setting out. just get some sleep and save your energy for tomorrow.”

everybody gradually disperses from that dismissal.

you caught the “since when was she in charge?” from gen.

hands on your hips, you remained standing in the middle of camp as everybody retired to their huts. loitering behind you stood shauna, who had her arms crossed.

“you need sleep, l/n. no use worrying, it won’t help mari.”

“i can’t believe this happened because i was too distracted. i should’ve kept an eye on everybody.”

“oh come on, people should be able to look after themselves.”

“y’know, if you had just listened to me and stayed in your goddamn hut, none of this would be happening.”

shauna knocked her head back. “really? this again? will you give it a fucking rest already?” she began sauntering towards her own hut, before you grabbed her hand.

“shauna, stop walking away from me when we’re talking.”

“you listen to me, y/n. when i tell you to drop it, you drop it.”

taken aback by her assertive tone, you felt your hand slip from hers. you glanced around to see if anybody had heard, and you were glad to see nobody had a head out from their huts.

“i know you’re stressed about this mari situation,” lulled into a gentler tone, she continued, “and when i find that little bitch, i’ll beat her sorry ass to a pulp. but right now, you’ve gotta stop wasting energy yelling at me and relax.” she squeezed your shoulder. “the girls need you at your best, so why don’t you go get some shut eye. i’ll handle everything for tomorrow.”

maybe you have been preoccupied with the wrong things.

“okay.” you sighed, “you’re right. i need to just relax.”

by the time you had undone your hair and changed into a more comfortable set of clothes, it was well into the night. the wind had calmed, but the cold still crept through the gaps in your walls like it owned the place.

you were curled up on the narrow cot in the antler queen hut, shamelessly more spacious than the ones surrounding it.

you stared at the warped ceiling straws, trying to will your body to forget shauna’s mouth, her voice, her weight pressing into you like a promise. you should be thinking of a game plan to find mari, to worry about your friend, but all you could think about was a certain butcher with a nasty attitude.

then a gust circled your hut, and you turned to see the curtain pushed aside before a figure stepped through the arch.

you didn’t have to see her face to know it was her. no one else would dare sneak into the queen’s hut after dark--not unless they wanted to be exiled by lottie, or worse. shauna didn’t say a word as she slipped inside and draped the blind shut behind her. her boots barely made a sound as she crossed the floor.

she didn’t ask. just slid beneath the furs beside you, cool fingers brushing your arm before she settled in close.

her hand found your waist. her nose nudged the back of your neck. she sighed--like she had finally come home.

“…shauna?” you whispered, not moving, not even turning to face her. “i thought you were making plans for tomorrow.”

“shh,” she muttered quickly. “just go back to sleep.”

but you felt your heart race at her body heat mingling with yours. the way she was clinging onto you right then, thigh flush against yours, her breath soft and steady in your hair. shauna--the girl who’d rather gut a bitch before admitting she needed help--wasn’t here to start something rough or fast?

it was so odd to feel it; her need to lay beside you to sleep.

you didn’t say anything. you reached back and linked your fingers with hers, dragging it to hold in front of your chest.

outside, by the dead firepit, nat leaned against a splintered beam, her arms crossed. tai stood beside her, eyes narrowing at the faint light glowing through the cracks of your hut. the two had gathered to talk about ben’s situation, but watching shauna sneak across camp to the queen’s hut was something neither of them could ignore.

“oh my god,” tai muttered, “first the hickey, now this?”

“told you,” nat said, grinning like the smug bastard she was.

“no. no way. y/n is so--” tai scoffed, her arms crossed. “that’s why the bitch never gets punished. fuck, now i gotta do your chores for a month?”

nat shrugged, smug. “hey, if anything, i should’ve bet higher. you were never gonna win that one.”

tai cursed under her breath while nat laughed.

tai could not believe her eyes. for a moment, she was certain she was still asleep and this was some fucked up nightmare. but van’s sarcastic comment proved otherwise.

“someone got her vibrator working again.” van scoffed.

shauna, stirring what smelled like a hefty feast for breakfast. she pointed at the stack of rusty and misshaped plates. “help yourselves, it’s berry sauce with deer bacon.”

from your hut, you awoke to the commotion from outside. getting up sluggishly from your bed, you moved the bedsheet curtain out of the way, to be met with everybody emerging from their huts, and shauna… smiling?

“are you assholes just gonna stand there? mari’s waiting.”

van and tai shared a look of skepticism. the redhead, proving herself to be most daring of the bunch, risked losing a finger to poke the bear. “shauna, are you… well?”

and then, as if to conceal it, the butcher cracked a smirk.

“careful. your voice is so grating it’ll scare mari out of hiding.”

it silenced. van scoffed. “was that a joke? from shauna? oh my god, we’ve all been drugged in our sleep.”

you could hear misty let out a confused little laugh, like she didn’t know whether to be scared or amused. to be fair, the brunette was threatening to kill her just yesterday. tai stared openly, mouthing what the fuck at nat, who squinted at you, then back at the girl. like she was saying, i told you so.

“well,” you cleared your throat, stepping to stand in the light. “thanks for making breakfast, shauna. everybody should eat up. we’ll get more time to search for mari today.”

shauna filled a singular plate, strolling over to hand it to you personally. “enjoy, my queen.” she purred, smirking.

as everybody settled, you sat across camp with her.

watching your every move closely,

“she’s smiling?” melissa whispered, her arms crossed as she leant against the table. “i can’t remember the last time shauna wasn’t trying to kill someone with that permanent scowl.”

“no, no--joking,” van murmured, sounding halfway between impressed and alarmed. “shauna made a joke. did she put shrooms in the stew last night, or is this actually real?”

“yeah,” travis added under his breath, joining them. “since when does she talk to anyone unless she’s pissed?”

as they broke down the girl’s odd behaviour, the two of you sat isolated away from the team.

“i have an idea on how to punish mari when we find her.”

when. that’s ironically, rather optimistic for her.

“punish--? shauna, she could be half-dead and bleeding right now for all we know.” you scolded, picking at your berry sauce.

“it’s mari. she probably just ran off for attention.”

you were about to make some argument in protest, but you knew better than to bicker about something so trivial with shauna of all people. you just nodded, urging her to elaborate.

“since she loves running so much, let’s give her a reason to run.” her smile was… sinister, almost. sinister, but genuine, and that was probably what scared you most.

it was the way she sounded so excited talking about it.

“what’re you saying?” your tone came out fearful, hesitant.

“don’t you hear it?” she grinned, “the cards are calling.”

an; omg this took so long cuz my fuck ass school is throwing a million things at me at once… i want to update more and i promise yall there’s a lot of drafts waiting to be posted! ily :)

happy reading xx

[dillydally6969]

do you think you’re gonna make the nat crowned fics into a series? it’s so good !!

i think so i really enjoy writing it too so—i’m glad you guys are enjoying it! xx

[dillydally6969]

heyy could write a mari fic?

absolutely what do you want to see? lmk what kinda fic and i’ll lock in for it… xx

[dillydally6969]

hiiiii, which YJ characters do you write for? </3

ALL OF THEM. I LOVE MY CHILDREN EQUALLY. xx

[dillydally6969]

Ok! Cause I was wondering if you could write a gn!reader? Maybe even transmasc if you are comfortable with it? No pressure though!

fs i’ll try gn readers more! xx

[dillydally6969]

I’m obsessed with your writing!!! So happy I stumbled upon your fic<3

thank you so much i really appreciate engagement it makes my day and i’m glad you enjoy the fics <3 xx

[dillydally6969]

Hey! What kinda readers do you write for if you dont mind me asking? Also! Any other rules for requesting?

mostly f!r but i can ask wtv u want and ill see how it goes. also making a masterlist and rules list soon!!

[dillydally6969]

Please bless my eyes with a Jackie fic🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙇🏽‍♀️🤰🏽🧏🏽‍♀️

GREEDY .ᐟ 𝓙ACKIE TAYLOR

♱ jackie wants more than she can have; but did you really have to punish her for it?

♱ cw; angst, toxic!jackie, jealousy, travis, long ahh fic ( 6k words )

“randy walsh? really?” you scoffed, “nuh-uh. no way.”

“come on! he’s not that bad,” jackie pleaded, watching you shove your books in your locker. “shauna’ll be there too.”

“then why don’t you get shauna to do it?”

jackie sighed, leant against the cool metal beside your open locker. her eyes raked across the frantic way your hands worked, her words choking in her throat for a brief second.

“y’know shauna’s too vicious for him… just one date.”

you laughed, much to her dismay. “my love for you is very conditional it this is the condition. sorry, jack.”

“i’ll take care of you… make it worth your while...” she murmured, her voice dropping to a smooth purr. “i promise.”

her hand crept up the side of your hip, the tips of her manicured nails grazing your skin. it was like just that tiny scrape of her touch could set your body on fire.

when two cheerleaders strolled by, jackie’s hand jerked away just as fast as it had settled on you. she waved, flashing them that picture-perfect ‘golden girl’ grin.

you hated how much of an effect she had on you.

you hated how much of an effect her reputation had more. maintaining it was jackie’s sole purpose in life.

she cleared her throat, scanning around before nearing you.

“please, l/n,” she whispered, her eyes darting down to your parted lips. her teeth gently tugged at her own. “for me?”

fuck, she was doing this on purpose, you thought.

how could you say no? god, you were so boneless.

you sighed, eyes fluttering shut. you really wished you had the willpower to deny this big-eyed princess whatever she wanted. because by the way you saw her lips spread into a grin, she knew she had, yet again, successfully gotten her way.

“fine. one date.” you sighed, holding up a finger. “one date. but if he grabs my ass, i’m leaving.”

“yay!” she squealed, her arms flailing around your neck in a tight embrace. “that’s perfect. i’ll let jeff know then.”

right. jeff. the sexist monkey-face jackie’s dating.

“i have ap world right now, you have… calc?” she pondered. you nodded. “great, i’ll see you outside after school.”

she gave your shoulder a quick squeeze, before leaving.

as she skipped her way down the hall, you shut your locker, squeezing your eyes shut as you let out a regretful sigh.

fuck, i might’ve just made the dumbest decision ever.

“well, that isn’t a pretty face,” van’s voice chimed, her arm effortlessly slinging over your shoulder. “right, tai?”

the other shook her head, pouting. “it sure isn’t, van.”

“and here i thought lover girl ms. l/n can’t look at jackie with anything but hearts in her eyes.” the redhead teased, poking your rib with her free hand. you jumped with a yelp.

“that’s why she closed her eyes, right?” tai snorted.

of course, the running joke among the team about your loyalty to jackie, even when she treats you like a pet sometimes.

you rolled your eyes, shrugging off van’s arm over you as they chuckled at their own banter. “very funny.”

“aw, come on, y/n, we’re just kidding.” van nodded at your sour expression, then down at the calculus textbook clutched to your chest. “shit, so we have calc? now i’m depressed too.”

“no, it’s not that, i just--” you didn’t even know where to begin.

“are you worried about nationals?” tai questioned.

you imagined jackie’s face if she ever found out you told them. the way she would stare back at you with such disgust, with such disappointment, you felt your heart pound at just the thought. you couldn’t tell them, it felt like such a dirty secret.

“yeah. yeah, i’m just… nervous about it, i guess.”

“well, you need to relax, sweetheart,” van said, “and that, my friend, is exactly what alcohol is for. so tonight, i’m gonna make sure you body so many shots, you pass as a human keg.”

tai smacked her in the arm. “we have an early flight tomorrow.”

van whined, “fine! just beer.” when tai glanced away with a satisfied nod, van leant in to whisper. “then tequila chasers.”

“no tequila chasers, vanessa.” tai scolded, playfully shoving the redhead away before circling an arm around you. she guided you down the hall, with the goalkeeper tailing behind. “don’t think too much about nationals, okay? just relax and enjoy tonight, we can worry about it when we get to seattle.”

you nodded, but you were still plagued with your thoughts.

technically you weren’t worried about nationals anymore, so you kinda listened to tai’s advice… right?

“i don’t know, jack, this feels like a little too much.” you hissed, hands tugging at the bottom of the skimpy dress jackie dressed you in.

the fabric stopped just below your crotch, one gust and you would be flashing everybody. the cut was too low and your torso felt like you were getting the life squeezed out of you.

“i feel like my whole ass is out for the world to see.”

“and what a blessing that would be for the world,” she said coyly, her gaze shamelessly lining the curve of your ass.

it didn’t seem like she had given the comment much thought, but the way she said it so casually, paired with the way she was eyeing you down, you felt yourself heating up.

you stared back at yourself in the mirror; you looked unfamiliar.

“do you have anything a little more… conservative?”

“why? i think you look good in this dress.” she leant back on her bed, held up by her arms. “plus, this’ll get randy’s dick hard. i think you should wear this.”

eugh, you didn’t need that visual in your head.

“a tree could get randy’s dick hard if it had tits.” you scoffed, “i’m not really trying to impress him anyway.”

“what? then why did you agree to coming?”

was she really that dense? or was this, like all her flirtatious passes made on you or the way her hands would linger on you a little too long when nobody was looking, on purpose?

“y’know what?” she asked, hopping off her bed. she came up behind you, scanning your figure in the mirror.

her hands caressed the sides of your arms, her chin over your shoulder. you could feel her breath tickle your collarbone.

“eleven out of twelve months, you’re hiding this crazy body under all those jackets and jerseys.” she hummed, her lips grazing your earlobe. you swallowed thickly, praying to god she couldn’t hear the way your heart was hammering in your chest. “you’re starting to turn into shauna… i mean, if i looked like this?” she grabbed the sides of your hips, her plump lips parting in a gasp. “i’d be devastating guys left and right.”

you took in her words, the scent of her perfume. it dazed you; how could see say that with such ease? without seeing the way your knees were weak?

“come on, babe, it’s time to take this bentley out the garage.”

“okay, i’ll wear the dress.” you caved.

“that’s my girl,” she pecked you on the cheek, grinning. she scrunched her nose as her hands gently squeezed your hips.

you turned away, letting out a shaky breath.

she’s gonna be the death of me.

jackie always liked you better than shauna. she would never admit aloud, but she enjoyed how obedient you were, how compliant and willing you were when she tasked you with something. the reactions she got out of you were adorable, it was so empowering, having that effect on you.

she wasn’t stupid, even a blind man could see the crush you had on her, your best friend.

she found it endearing, the way you thought you hid it well.

but as long as you loved her, she had her own little minion.

“come here,” she ordered, pulling her vanity chair out. “let me do your makeup. i want to try this new lipstick shade on you.”

like the sheep you were, you obliged, sitting.

“sit still,” she said, standing over you, knees brushing yours as she uncapped it. her hand grabbed your jaw, locking your head in an upward angle, gazing up at her through your lashes as she dragged the tip against your lips.

the color looked warm and soft against your lips. you could feel her breath against your cheek, catching the flicker in her eyes when she looked at your mouth a second too long.

shit, were you... actually kinda cute?

her fingers lingered, and for a moment, neither of you moved--until jackie blinked hard and pulled away, sitting back so fast she nearly knocked over her perfume.

“looking good,” she said quickly, too brightly, avoiding your gaze now. you watched her back up away, turning her back towards you to grab the cap from her bed. that was the first time you noticed it--the way she looked at you like she wanted to stay close, but didn’t know how to hold it without breaking.

"you should let me do your makeup more often. i know all the right colours for you." jackie said, busying herself with her earrings, pretending not to notice how quiet you had gone. you still felt the ghost of her touch on your chin, the way her breath had caught--but now you felt silly sitting there. in her dress, dolled up by her, carefully placed like furniture in a room she didn’t want you to sit in anymore.

you shifted in front of the vanity, watching her through the mirror, hoping she'd say something, anything, that would explain why the air had changed.

“i think i’ll wear the gold hoops,” she said, like nothing had happened. “they go better with this jacket, right?”

you nodded, but it felt like she wasn't there.

a car horn blared outside, twice. you froze. jackie didn’t. instead, her movement quickened, scrambling aroudn the room to grab her jacket and do one final check of her hair in the mirror.

“that’s jeff,” she said quickly, grabbing her bag and brushing past you like this was normal. “he’s giving me a ride. you gonna get there okay? or should i call shauna?”

you stood up, lips still tingling, heart sinking.

“i'll be fine,” you said, forcing a smile. “i’ll see you there.”

"drive safe, l/n." she hesitated at the door, like she might turn around--but didn’t. you watched her leave, the sound of the door clicking shut louder than the music still playing in her room.

well, isn't this just great?

you don’t remember exactly how you had gotten there, or how you ended up with a bottomless red solo cup in your hand, but you were damn near about to pass out.

leant against randy’s truck with him hanging off your arm like you were some prize he had finally nailed.

you were tired of his alcoholic breath assaulting your senses, his rough hand groping and touching wherever he pleased.

from afar, you could see jackie twirl into jeff’s arms.

her expression looked so carefree, beaming from ear to ear.

she had forgotten her vow to keep an eye on you, inebriated, herself as she raged on with the party.

it was meant to be a send off for all the yellowjackets, including you, before nationals, but you had far forgotten the joyous occasion. all your ditzy brain has been fixated on was her.

except, hers was on him. his hands holding her like a trophy.

the sight twisted something deep inside you, it sickened you, churning in your stomach like a bad breakfast.

randy’s voice broke through your thoughts, but you barely registered his words. his hand brushed against your waist, a little too familiar. you stiffened, uncomfortable, and tried shifting away, but he was persistent, leaning in too close. you swore you could punch his lights out.

“hey, why don’t we take this somewhere private,” he raised.

you didn’t respond, your gaze still fixed on jackie, the way her hair caught the firelight as she laughed at something stupid jeff had said. the jealousy gnawed at you, but you didn’t care.

all you could think about was her, the way she looked when she smiled, the way she looked when she was happy, and how that should’ve been you standing there with her.

his hands inched down her hips.

past the slit of the skirt she was wearing--

“y/n,” randy’s voice pulled you back, his hand creeping too far down your back. “what’s going on? come on, let’s go--”

--and over the curve of her ass, giving it a tight squeeze.

that was it. you couldn’t take it anymore.

you turned sharply, cutting him off mid-sentence, and stormed off toward the trees just before where the cars were parked.

you didn’t even look back when you heard randy’s voice calling after you. you couldn’t bring yourself to care. the only reason you had came had forgotten her vow to keep you company.

since that’s gone, why the fuck else would you stay?

as you walked further, the party’s noise faded, but jackie’s laughter still echoed in your mind. you could feel your heart aching, each step heavier than the last.

“y/n!” the voice cut through the fog of alcohol clouding your brain, and you froze. you didn’t need to look to know it was jackie; her voice was your soothing shell, and it carried an edge of concern you weren’t ready to face.

she was already out of breath, but her pace didn’t slow as she caught up to you. for an athlete, she had awful stamina.

“what’s going on?” she asked, her voice softer now, more genuine. “where are you going?”

“nowhere,” you muttered, not bothering to look at her. “i’m going home, don’t worry about it. have fun with jeff.”

jackie didn’t buy it. “y/n,” she said, her tone firm now, “you’ve been acting freaky all night. what’s going on with you?”

you glanced up with hooded eyes and tinted cheeks.

“i’m just tired of the party,” you snapped, feeling the bite of your words. one look at the hurt flashing across her expression, you wish you could be swallowed by the earth and die. you had no right to take it out on her, but the jealousy was noosed around your throat, and you couldn’t loosen it.

she frowned, stepping closer, her eyes searching yours, like she could read every hushed thought that crossed your mind.

“you’re lying.” she said, “i can tell when you’re lying.”

“i said i’m fine,” you bit out, turning away from her, your pace quickening. you didn’t want her to see the vulnerability in your face, or the way your eyes were blown wide.

fuck. you were so fucking in love with jackie taylor.

the soccer captain didn’t let you go. you could hear her footsteps rush behind you, and when she called your name again, her voice was tinged with evident frustration. “y/n l/n, stop walking away. you’re obviously not fine, and I’m not going to let you shut me out like this.”

you stopped, finally turning to face her, though your hand swung the empty red cup around as you gathered your words.

“jack, i just… i need some space, okay?”

your voice was harsh, but it was the only thing you could do to keep from falling apart in front of her.

you sounded so pathetic. you hated it.

but you hated the look she gave you more. the puppy-dog eyes, the pout, the arms crossing over her chest like it kept her heart safe and hidden from your cruel words.

you? her obedient little y/n wanted space? from her?

jackie stood still for a moment, then scoffed softly. she shook her head, sulking. “fine. if you want to be like that. but i’m not letting you drive home drunk.” she snatched the keys.

she turned abruptly, heading back to the car. you didn’t follow. you just stood there, your heart hammering in your chest, feeling like you were losing something you didn’t even have.

the ride back to her place was quiet, save for the hum of the engine and the occasional shift of weight in the seat. you stared out the window at the streets in passing, your head pounding as the faint fruity aroma engulfed your nose. you didn’t speak. neither of you did. you were grateful jackie didn’t press you, you would!( know what to say if she did.

when you reached the driveway, she parked the car with an exhale, turning off the engine. you didn’t move to get out right away. the silence was thick, suffocating, but it sat between.

“y/n,” jackie said quietly, her voice much softer than before. “i’m sorry if I did something to upset you, but you can’t just ditch without an explanation.”

you didn’t answer. you couldn’t.

you just got out of the car, walking toward the door. Jackie followed you, but you kept your back to her as you entered the house, hoping she would just leave you alone.

following you into your house, she stood in the doorway of your room, watching you in silence for a long moment, until finally, she spoke. “y’know, i’m not gonna take this personal, because you’re crazy buzzed, but just know you’re being a mega jerk right now,” she said. “still don’t know what you’re so fucking mad about, would be super helpful if you told me.”

you didn’t respond, trying to hide the ache in your chest.

jackie scoffed, shaking her head, and then left the room.

as you lay there, trying to push the thoughts of her out of your mind, you heard her footsteps outside, the sound of the front door opening and closing. you had no idea where she was going, but you were just glad she had finally left.

wow, that’s something you never thought you’d say.

then, just as you started to close your eyes, you heard the click of the door again. jackie was standing in the doorway once more, and before you could react, she was in front of you, her hand on your face, soft and warm.

“fuck you,” she whispered, her voice low. “i’m not playing this fucked little game. so stop shutting me out.”

though you were still very much drunk, you froze when she leaned in and kissed you--slowly, softly, as if testing the waters. for a moment, you thought you were hallucinating, the taste of alcohol on her lips bleeding into her cherry chapstick.

was this really happening? wait, no, this has to be the drinks.

when your fingers clawed at her jacket, she lowered a hand to place yours on her hip. where jeff had his.

but just as quickly as she leant in, she pulled away.

you looked at her, heart hammering. you gasped, catching your breath as you stared back with dark eyes. “jack…”

she laughed, too sharp, too bitter. “god,” she said, backing up like she’d touched fire. as if she was t the one who kissed you. “oh my god, i shouldn’t have done that.”

you stared at her, blinking blankly. “what?”

“i’m drunk,” she said quickly, shaking her head. “you’re drunk. that--that was just the drinks talking. it didn’t mean anything.”

your stomach dropped. gaining a brief moment of clarity.

like all good dreams, this one had to come to an end. and as sobriety washed over you, you awoke to the harsh reality.

“it was a mistake, y/n,” she cut in, her voice colder now. “don’t make it more than it was.”

you blinked, trying to steady yourself, but everything was tilting--your body, your thoughts, your heart. “right,” you whispered, though your voice cracked.

jackie didn’t look at you. “and don’t you dare mention this to anybody. i don’t need jeff finding out that i--!” she ceased her sentence just before she could finish. she turned on her heel and walked out, leaving the door open behind her.

you stood there for a long time, swaying slightly from the alcohol, every inch of you numb except the sharp, bitter sting in your chest. all you could think about was her lips, the way they felt like everything, and then suddenly, like nothing at all.

you missed them already. you wish you had savoured her.

the next time you'd see her was when the team gathered to board the private jet lottie's father had prepared for their travels to nationals. blissfully ignorant to your glances and mild confusion, jackie kept her distance, sticking to shauna like her life depended on it.

how could so much change in so little time?

just before you boarded, you stepped towards her.

"jack, can we talk?"

the night prior's events weren't exactly the most sound and still memories, but, though you would prefer in this case, you weren't intoxicated enough to gain temporary amnesia either.

"about what?" she asked, feigning innocence.

what? "about last night?"

"phew, last night was a crazy one," she chuckled, one of those fake ones she only used on teachers or cheerleaders. the sound absolutely smashed your heart to smithereens. "jeff told me i called for him to get me at yours this morning. i don't even remember going back to your house."

was this her plan? to count on you being so drunk you wouldn't remember the best thing that could've possibly happened to you?

the look she gave you was so foreign, so guarded, so unlike jackie.

"hey, can we talk when we land? shauna and i are going over our pre-game traditions." jackie smiled, brushing past you.

that was your thing. the two of you would tie each other's hair before every single game. then, just as you jog on the field, you'd hook your pinkies together and kiss your own knuckles. now she was doing it with shauna? what the fuck?

the plane went down faster than you could scream, metal shrieking, trees tearing through the fuselage as the world flipped and buckled around you. you remembered smoke, blood, the sharp taste of panic, and jackie’s eyes form across the aisle--just before she turned away from you to pull shauna from the wreckage and carry her out the back. you crawled out on your own, lungs burning, heart heavier than the twisted heap behind you. the adrenaline died, and your anger came in place of it.

still, she hadn't spoken a word to you.

you never expected such a 180 from jackie, especially not when the girls were around. tai's been interrogating you for weeks, and you just had no explanation.

the days that followed was cold and cruel, the forest as silent between you and jackie as the gaping space at night where you slept beside nat. you kept waiting for her to say something--to explain, apologize, and acknowledge the kiss you'd shared like it hadn't just disappeared in smoke. but she never did, and you never asked, because you didn’t know what was worse: the way she left you, or the fact that she chose to shut you out when you needed her most. how ironic.

by the seventh day, the cold gnawed at your bones and half the girls had decided they would leave camp in search for water.

you all stumbled on a half-rotted hunting cabin hidden deep in the woods--shelter, finally--but even as everyone huddled inside, warming hands by the fire, you felt far from warmth. that night, with the others asleep soundly for the first time in a week, you caught her eyes across the dim room, and something inside you cracked.

you followed her outside when she slipped into the back room, your footsteps soft but determined. “are you done being a shitty best friend, or should i try again later?” you asked, voice shaking more from rage than the cold. jackie turned to you slowly, like she’d been expecting this, arms crossed like armour.

“we're stranded in the middle of fucking nowhere, i'd say this is the least of my priorities.” she snapped, jaw clenched. “why won't you just let it go?”

you took a step forward, heat rising in your throat. suddenly the memory of the last time you were this close surged through your thoughts. you dawdled on the ghost kiss lingering on your lips, how it felt to kiss her, how it felt to be jeff for a moment.

"maybe this is when i need you most, you thought about that?"

"i'm going to bed." she announced, but you stopped her.

"what the fuck did i do, jackie? why're you doing this?"

she silenced, unable to utter a single word.

“that night,” you continued, “you kissed me like it meant something--and then you started ignoring me like it never happened.” jackie exhaled, slow and uneven, eyes finally lifting to yours.

"it didn't mean anything,” she said, voice raw, “i was just... emotional. you wouldn't talk to me, i was just impulsive.”

you stared at her, wanting to believe that she was pushing you away because of fear, not regret. “i don't even care about the stupid kiss,” you said quietly. “if it's bothering you that much, then let's just forget it. i just want my best friend back.”

jackie reached out then, but her hand folded back into her chest.

she just couldn't. it was so shameful.

"just leave it. you're being a child." she sneered, before walking past you back into the living room, where everybody else slept. you closed your eyes, sighing. your eyes welled with tears, but after a deep inhale, you sucked it up.

after a long night of zero sleeping, you were first out of the cabin the next morning. you sat by the fire outside, organizing the dry wood from the last couple days.

it was late afternoon when travis strolled over towards you, his hands buried in his pockets. he sat beside you without asking, awkward but present, and after a few moments of silence, he picked up a block of wood and started helping. “this is the weirdest jenga game i’ve ever seen,” he said, and it caught you so off guard that you actually let out a tiny scoff of amusement, breaking into a smile.

he grinned, clearly proud of himself for breaking the ice.

“not that i'm complaining,” he said, shrugging. “but usually people don't play it alone, y'know."

you rolled your eyes, but you were smiling, the heaviness inside you lightened just enough to remember who you were before the wreckage.

"is that how you say, 'good morning'?"

"it wasn't really a good morning until i sat down," he replied smoothly, and you couldn't help the smile that spread.

across the clearing, jackie leant against the beam just by the cabin door, half-watching, half-hiding. her arms were crossed, lips pressed into a thin line as her eyes followed the shape of your laugh like it didn’t belong to her anymore. and for the first time, she realized what it meant to lose it.

walking out from the cabin with a large load of clothes, shauna nudged Jackie gently with her elbow, catching the hard look in her eyes as she watched you and travis laughing.

“you good?” she asked, half-concerned, half-curious, following jackie’s gaze with a small frown. “you’ve been staring at them for five minutes.”

jackie’s jaw tightened. “i’m not staring,” she snapped, louder than she meant to. heads turned--yours included--just as jackie shoved away from the cabin wall and took a step forward, eyes locked on you like it was your fault for smiling.

“jesus, jack,” shauna muttered, grabbing her arm, but jackie shook her off.

“it’s not a big deal,” she barked. “they barely even liked each other before the crash and now they’re acting like it’s cute.”

the clearing went still, tension humming in the air. travis looked confused, you looked hurt, and jackie, cheeks flushed, looked like she wanted to take it all back, but couldn’t stop herself from burning the bridge anyway.

shauna stepped in front of jackie, smiling at everybody, urging them wordlessly to avert their attention back to their own business.

“okay, maybe take it down a notch,” she said, “if you’re feeling some kind of way, maybe help me with the laundry--get out of your head a little.”

jackie scoffed but didn’t argue, arms still crossed tight like she was holding herself together by sheer force. “i don’t need a chore chart, shipman,” she muttered, but her voice had lost its sharp edge. the brunette just gave her a look, the kind only best friends get to give--the one that told her, you’re spiralling, and everyone can see it.

with one last glance toward you and travis, jackie turned and stormed off toward the tree line where the others were working. shauna sighed, rubbing her temples.

maybe the nice trip to the lake later will ease the tension.

she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. sure, she could have been a little more considerate with your feelings, but you were being a full on bitchazoid right now.

like, travis martinez? of all people? you just had to go let him do whatever he wanted like that, didn’t you.

first at breakfast and now, this.

yards away in the lake, you were deeply engrossed in a game of chicken with shauna and van. the brunette ushered you to get on tai’s shoulders, but you waved travis over instead.

the boy didn’t hesitate, lowering to let you hook your legs over his neck before he stood, hands grabbing at your thighs.

“what, scared you’ll lose, shipman?” you challenged.

the brunette scoffed, her tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth. “bring it on, rookie.”

why was he holding onto you for dear life? and you let him.

“mari?” jackie called, flashing the filipina a bittersweet smile. “i never get a chance to chat with you. how’re you doing?”

the raven-haired girl stared back, taken aback, before nodding skeptically. “stranded in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, but otherwise pretty good. we got lucky with the lake.”

you hollered loudly as shauna swung back and fell.

the water splashing into travis’ face made him flinch, his grip on you loosened as you both jerked back into the water.

as you resurfaced, your hands swiped the wet hair out of your dripping face, gasping for hair. travis ran a hand through his hair, chuckling before he paused to stare at you.

he was anything but sly with the way he checked you out,

jackie felt her blood boil when his grubby hand reached to lay on your waist, pulling you closer to pick a lash off your nose.

mari was droning on about something, but she tuned it out.

it was almost like a betrayal, though you weren’t in the wrong.

“but i wanted to get the pink cleats, ‘cause they were prettier, but the blue ones were on sale, and--”

“y’know what, mari? why don’t you come closer?”

she grimaced, averting her eyes. “what? why?”

jackie giggled, “to hear your story better, of course. come on, i want to hear all about your creams.”

“cleats.” the younger corrected, fed up with the captain.

“whatever,” jackie stated, waving her over.

past travis’ shoulder, you couldn’t help but catch mari shuffling towards jackie lying against the trunk. the fuck?

it wasn’t until travis’ face shielding jackie from your view did you snap out of your trance. “y/n? are you okay?”

you nodded, “oh, yeah, i’m completely fine.”

“i didn’t dunk you too hard, did i?” he chuckled, “if you want, i’ll kiss it better.” he joked, but you weren’t exactly engrossed in conversation. “come on, i think shauna wants a rematch.”

jackie didn’t talk to you for the rest of the day.

you really believed it was like dying from the air gradually leaving your lungs.

later that day, while everyone was lounging and cozying up after the lake, you sat on a fallen log near the edge of the clearing, turning over a charred piece of wreckage in your hands like it held answers. tai found you there, plopping down beside you with a grunt and a squint.

“alright,” she said, slapping her lap, “spill it, l/n. what the hell is going on between you and jackie?”

taken aback by her bluntness, you stuttered. "uh--what?"

tai blinked, a stern expression on her face. “oh, come on,” she muttered, rubbing a hand over her jaw. “she's been in the biggest mood since we came down, it's driving everybody fucking crazy. ya'll ain't talking, so come on. what's going on?”

you scoffed. "didn't realize it was that obvious."

“it is,” she said plainly. “and look, i don’t know what happened between you two, but whatever it is--it’s not worth letting her die staying mad over.”

you glanced at her, like she had struck a nerve. “who said anything about dying?"

“maybe not today, maybe not tonight,” tai replied, shrugging. “but out here? none of us know if we’ll wake up tomorrow with food or fire. if something happens, do you really want your last memory of jackie to be this?”

you didn’t answer, but the question stayed with you.

she was right, but you weren't giving in that easy.

the night of doomscoming draped the clearing in a strange sort of magic. someone--you couldn't remember it being van or mari--came up with the idea for a makeshift prom to take the edge off.

you lot went all in, needing a reason to feel human again. someone strung strips of fabric and seatbelt cords from the trees like streamers, and someone else started a fire that crackled with warmth, casting golden light across faces that had forgotten how to smile. whatever makeup you had salvaged was quickly put to use, clothes borrowed and repurposed into outfits that shimmered in the firelight like they belonged in another world.

you didn’t know why you let akilah braid wildflowers into your hair or why you bothered smoothing down the dress you found in someone else’s luggage, but when you stepped into the clearing and travis turned to see you, his face lit up.

“you look…” he started, then gave a shy laugh. “good. really good.”

you shot him a polite smiled, unsure of what to say because you didn't know what to feel--not entirely for travis. "you clean up nice, yourself."

he offered his hand and you took it, letting him lead you to the makeshift dance floor where others had already begun swaying to the beat of clapping hands and hummed melodies. when the two of you walked through the arch, hand in hand, a couple hollers and whistles were thrown your way.

though you couldn't help but steal a couple glances jackie's way, watching as she danced with shauna.

you moved slowly, steps light, arms around travis like they would at a normal prom, and for a moment, it felt that way.

but your gaze kept pulling away, like a magnet, to the edge of the firelight where jackie sat in the shadows, arms wrapped tight around her knees. she wasn't dancing anymore, and she wasn't by shauna either. she just watched. her eyes found you every time yours wandered, and each look was a tether--like a never budging game of tug of war.

travis leaned in, his hand moving to your waist, his forehead almost touching yours.

maybe this will help, you thought, it's about time.

his breath was warm, eyes searching yours, and you knew what was coming. his hand cupped your cheek, slow and soft, and as he leaned in, you ignored all the protests you felt in your stomach.

just before your lips could meet, a hand yanked at your arm.

“hey, y/n, can i talk to you? like over there?” jackie snapped. you stumbled back, eyes wide, as travis blinked, clearly thrown off.

“what? jackie--”

“stay out of this, annie,” she insisted, already dragging you away from the firelight, through the clearing, and into the dark cabin.

the second the door shut behind you, you bursted.

“what the hell was that?" you hissed, "did you make an orphan insult? what the actual fuck, jackie!"

she scoffed, "how about you tell me what the fuck that was."

"i was dancing with him, jacqueline. dancing."

“you were gonna kiss him,” she muttered through gritted teeth, stepping closer. “you were really gonna kiss him.”

“i didn’t know that was still your business,” you bit back, "since when has kissing been such a big deal to you, hm?"

“since i kissed you,” jackie whispered.

before you could respond, she closed the distance, grabbing your face in her hands and kissing you like she’d been drowning without it. the world outside vanished--no crash, no forest, no doomscoming, and certainly no travis martinez.

just the two of you and the heat of the moment, finally crashing into each other like the plane never could. you kissed her back, fiercely, like you were taking back every second she’d left you wondering.

fuck. you were fucking in love with jackie taylor.

an; omg this was so fucking long but i had to get it out, yall better engage w this one cuz i put my whole dillydallyussy into it. anyways your comments and requests always make my day

happy reading xx

[dillydally6969]

ahhh you really came on here and started dropping some BOMB ass fics like damn!!! such a good job<3

OMG THIS IS NOT A DRILL ilysm coming from you this is such a huge compliment i hope you enjoy the fics xx

[dillydally6969]

CROWNED² .ᐟ 𝓝AT SCATORCCIO

♱ fighting situationship!nat for the antler queen title, but her crown’s slowly slipping…

♱ cw; yj s3 spoilers, harsh language, angst, f!r, manipulative!shauna, pt. 1 linked at bottom

you remembered the first time nat kissed you.

it was on one of the very first hunting trips, when travis came down with some stomach bug after eating some raw bear meat. you and nat were left to continue your duties alone, and honestly you weren’t complaining.

nat was careful, kissing you like you were something delicate.

at first, the two of you would go further than you would route and just make out against a tree. but then, on a foraging trip you and jackie went on (in attempts to encourage the captain to help with chores she could actually do), you found a little creak behind this wall of bushes.

the next time travis was occupied with brother duty, you would bring nat to this haven, shielded from everything that was your tragic reality, shrugging off your--actually one of ben’s oversized--jacket and laying it on the ground for your lady.

the blonde would laugh at you, her sweet grin paired with that cute dimple of hers, and you swore you had never heard a more heavenly sound.

“you couldn’t wait to bust all this chivalrous shit out, huh?”

you shrugged, admiring the way her lips curved as she turned. her side profile was sculpted by the greek themselves, and you found your smile growing slowly as you ran your gaze.

“i wanted to do something nice for you. away from the others.”

she felt your intense eyes fixed on her, her chest tightened as she gulped. “really? you did all this for me?”

you noticed her hands quivered slightly. you reached out, fingertips dancing across her knuckles lightly. you held her hand up, weaving your fingers into hers.

“i wanted to see you smile,” you whispered, “worth it.”

her cheeks flushed, her eyes widening before she turned away with a scoff. “oh my god, you’re such a freak.”

you giggled at her comment. you fixed the loose blonde tufts sticking into her face, cradling her warm cheek in your hand. you tugged her close, glancing down at her plump, pink lips as your teeth sunk into your own.

“just your type, hm?” you whispered against her lips.

“mmh, i don’t know… wanna find out?” she teased, before leaning forward to press her soft lips against yours.

you sighed, pulling her close. sitting up, you threw a leg over her lap, straddling her before both hands reached up to clasp her jaw. her mouth moved into yours feverishly, hungry and needy. her slender fingers anchored your hips, your body pressed flushed against hers.

“oh god, i love you--!” she gasped, but the way she pulled back told you she was just as stunned by the sudden confession as you were.

when you don’t respond, she began stammering.

“sorry, i--i was just caught in the moment. fuck, i’m so stupid.”

“no, no, nat, stop.” you grabbed her face, kissing her forehead, then her nose, then lingered on her lips. when you pulled away, you rested your forehead against hers. “i love you too.”

you can’t remember the last time she told you she loved you.

you can’t remember the last time she showed she loved you.

it’s been about competing with nat ever since she took over lottie’s title. you missed her. god, you missed her so much.

you would give anything up if it meant getting to just let her lull you to sleep with her deep voice without her spewing nonsense about the logistics of keeping morale high.

“y/n--y/n!” a single clap in front of your face seemed to do the trick, slapping you out of your daydream.

you glanced up, met with tai’s curious expression.

“hello? you’re the one who suggested a trial, what the fuck are we supposed to do?” she jeered, hands on her hips as she looked down at you. “what’s going on, man? you’ve been spaced for like an hour.”

sat at the table, you looked at your untouched dinner, pushing the bowl away from you.

“nothing, i’m just tired.” you muttered in reply.

“okay, whatever--coach has been sitting with the ducks and deers since sundown. what do we do now?”

you raised an eyebrow. “why aren’t you asking nat? she’s the antler queen, she’s the one in charge, not me.”

tai crossed her arms, sighing. “nat hid the fact she knew where coach was, you think she’s gonna make this a fair trial?” you gulped, knowing she had a point had never felt so bitter before. “i trust you’ll make this just and impartial, and so do the rest of us, so will you please get this shit going?”

you looked past tai’s body, spotting nat sitting by the fire.

her nail-beds bled from her fervent picking, her eyes grown cold and still as she stared at the roaring fire.

you stood, nodding towards tai. “gather everyone. it’s coach’s judgement day.”

as the taller scurried off to round up everybody, you watched the blonde from afar. slowly, you sauntered over, taking a seat beside her with a deep sigh. “you’re mad at me. you’re doing that gwyneth paltrow sulky thing you do.”

the blonde didn’t move a muscle. her cheekbones popping as she contained the violent sob that threatened to escape her.

“i’m not mad at you. i’m disappointed in your decisions.”

you scoffed, resting your elbows against your thighs. “come on, nat, you’re being unfair.”

“i told you my feelings on the matter, and i thought you understood.”

“look, i know you think he’s innocent, but there’s just--!”

“i thought you were different. i trusted you to make the right choices, but this,” she scoffed, “whatever circus you think you’re running here, i don’t want any fucking part of it.”

“oh my god, when will it be enough for you?” you snapped, startling her. “y’know, i say yes and do what you tell me to. i hunt this and gather that because you want me to. i was the only one in your corner when nobody was and this is the kinda treatment i get? i do something i believe is right once and you’re ‘disappointed’? holy shit, get over yourself, natalie, i’m not your fucking minion, i am my own person too.”

staring back at you, her lips parted, waiting in bated breath for your next words.

you ripped the bandana from your belt where it was tucked, tying it again over your head. you stood, snarling down at her. “maybe if you weren’t so obsessed with being the fucking chief, you would actually see what i’m trying to do.”

oh, that stung. that stung bad. she hated getting yelled at, it triggered some bad feelings for her, but coming from you? it just made her want to cry herself to permanent slumber.

the others had begun gathering around the fire, per tai’s instruction. from a humble distance, shauna mentally noted the way your conversation with nat had ended.

“y/n?” tai called, squeezing to the front. “well?”

“it should be two-thirds.” nat sighed, standing to the side as you helped tai and some others create a table for the jury at the centre of camp, where the fire was supposed to be.

“two-thirds? that’s bullshit, it should be majority rules!”

“that’s more than fair, shauna,” nat hissed, “if you’ve ever, actually picked up a law book, you’d know criminal trials are supposed to be unanimous.”

“i’ll bash your skull in with a law book if you don’t--!”

“enough!” you yelled, slamming a hand against the wooden surface beneath you. all heads snapped towards you, including those preparing the judge’s chair from afar. “i’ve never known anybody more problematic. the two of you will be on your best behaviour for this trial, or you’re spending a week alone in the pits until you get along.”

everybody seemed rather taken aback by the aggressive edge to your outburst. you caught nat’s eyes, of all the pairs trained on you, and your jaw locked.

“i don’t care how important your roles are here, i don’t care what title you hold, i will cover all of it if it means we don’t have to hear the two of you fight.” you snarled, crossing your arms. “i’ve proposed this trial as a way to keep things fair. nat will get her will for coach to have a chance to be proven innocent, and shauna will get hers to prove him guilty. two-thirds is a middle ground, so that’s how we’ll let the jury rule. settled?”

the two of them reluctantly nodded. you exhaled shakily.

“good. neither of you are allowed anywhere near the stands, ‘cuz world war three will stir.”

a hand shot up from behind nat, you tilted your head to see tai’s determined expression. “i’ll run the prosecution no problem. the question is, who will defend coach scott?”

everybody deterred their gaze away from yours upon that query. you scanned the crowd, watching them awkwardly tousle around to avoid being called upon.

your eyes landed on a certain curly blonde taking minutes.

“misty’ll defend him.” you announced. everybody looked over.

“what? why’re you all looking at me?” she stammered.

“‘cause he’s your boyfriend?” van commented. she stifled a snort, “in your mind, at least. right?”

tai swatted her in the arm, and upon a stern look from you, she rescinded her snarky attitude.

“that’s not funny. and i’m not defending him.” she shook her head, glinting down at her notebook. “he’s not the ben i knew.”

“you have to, misty.” nat’s sharp response drew attention to her standing amidst the group. she cleared her throat, recognizing the snap back may have come off a little more pressing than she had intended. regaining her authority, nat held misty’s gaze. “i know how you feel. it sucks that he left, but you’re his best chance at a fair trial… maybe his only chance. if you can’t prove he’s innocent, he’ll lose anyway, but if you can… misty, you’ll save his life.”

you could hear it in her voice. she was desperate.

you wondered when along the way you became the one the girls turned to over nat. you could barely remember the times when she was actually respected as their regent.

you’ve called out more disrespect towards her in the last week than you ever have pre-crash. and that’s saying something.

shauna was blood-thirsty, desperate to satiate her hunger for chaos. this was the closest she could get to bloodshed, and she had her fangs dug into the coach, unwilling to let go.

she was so blinded by her bloodlust, it clouded her rationale.

you knew nat had a heart of gold, how she deeply believed in the coach’s innocence unless some sort of evidence compelled her to accept otherwise.

but in a way, she wasn’t being fair either.

and knowing she used to be the most prudent person you’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, stung. along with perhaps one of two of those who still adore nat, you might be the only ones left who honor the fact she was still queen.

“great, then it’s settled.” you clasped your hands together. “tai will prosecute and misty will defend. nat will be the judge, and the rest of us will make the jury.”

“nat? she’s gonna rule him not guilty without even listening,” shauna argued, resting on her arms against the table across from you. “she’s got her head so far up her ass, she won’t hear anything besides the fact that he’s innocent.”

“she’s the antler queen, shauna. do i have to remind you of your place?” you sneered.

“i hate to say this, but shauna has a point.” tai agreed, her hands on her hips. “i’m not saying nat shouldn’t be judge, she should. but i think you should be judging as well.”

you scoffed with a tiny smile, “thanks, but it’s not my place.”

“why not? it’s your trial.” van reinforced her girlfriend’s proposal. “who else thinks y/n should be a judge?”

one by one, hands shot up in vote of your crowning.

little did you know this gesture would foreshadow your fate.

“that’s pretty much two-thirds. that’s a fair majority, right?” she said before nat could protest. the blonde could not go against the people’s word. it was democracy that brought her to her dominion, after all. “great. let’s get this ball rolling.”

you knew the more your influence grew, the more your relationship with nat deteriorated.

when the others had gone to prepare their arguments and statements, the two of you were sent back to your hut to change into some robes akilah and robin had thrown together.

the silence was deafening. enough for you to regret the way you left things before you left for the hunt.

as you slipped on the cream gown, nat stood by the archway.

she had her hands on her hips, peering out towards the girls scrambling in groups for this little event. you tied the rope around your waist, sighing deeply.

“i’m sorry.”

the blonde looked down, swallowing thickly. though, she stood still, unwilling to turn and face you.

“i’m sorry for the things i said. i was angry, and it wasn’t the most respectful way to talk to you.” you continued, “but i don’t want us to be like this, nat. i hate how separated we’ve been.”

she didn’t respond, but you’ve learnt to read her like a book.

in most cases, she would shut down emotionally, growing quiet or distant, unsure of how to respond to things that pierced her emotionally. her body language would immediately reflect discomfort; avoiding eye contact, crossing her arms, or falling into a tense posture.

you knew the thing that scarred her most was having her own self-worth question. when she felt undervalued and insecure.

she resented herself when she felt like that. so, so much.

so, you were always careful with your words, the way you treated her. so, this gradual fallout wounded her greatly.

“tell me what you want me to do,” you begged, “i’ll listen.”

her head turned just the slightest, studying you out the corner of her eye. “i don’t want to dictate you, y/n. i do that enough to everybody else, and i hate it.”

“you’re tying my hands, nat, what am i supposed to do?”

“i asked you to back off, and you didn’t. you’re defying my orders and challenging me in front of everybody. i never took you for somebody who had such a craving for power, but if you want to be queen that bad, you should.” her voice shook, like she was holding in some pent up tears. “of all the people i thought would fight this hard to get coach executed, you were the last person i hoped would come to.”

“i love you, natalie. but you only love me when it’s convenient for you.” you stated, “all we do is argue anymore, fuck, i can’t even remember the last time i talked to you about anything else other than this stupid ritual, cult shit. you hear what you want to hear and get mad--do you see how this isn’t fair?”

she sucked in a breath, shaking her head. “i don’t think we’re in the right headspace to talk about this.” she grabbed her robe, along with the headpiece akilah made from a buck skull. “im gonna change in lottie’s hut.”

there she was. running again. she doesn’t even want to fix this.

you scoffed at her dismissive attitude. upon noticing nat storming from the hut, shauna glanced up from the jury table, suddenly uninterested in her journal.

you were facing the tiny mirror strung up against the hut’s wall, fixing the uncomfortable diadem of wolf fangs.

“you’re really letting them collar you with freak-show jewelry like you’re nat’s fucking guard dog?” shauna asked, leant against the doorway of the straw cone. “come on, i thought you were better than that wilderness bullshit.”

“i’m not in the mood, shauna.” you grumbled back.

“you run the show better. why do you let her fucking treat you like that?” she challenged, stepping in.

“i said to back off, shipman, i don’t want company.”

“why? just admit you don’t mind getting walked all over if it means you get to grab some ass,” she sneered, her arms crossed. “it’s so obvious you’re a sucker for nat, ‘cause if you didn’t, you would’ve put her in her place by now--”

you grabbed the collar of her grey shirt, slamming her up against the wall. you exhaled sharply through your nose.

“watch your fucking mouth,” you hissed through gritted teeth, “another snide comment and i’ll shove your head through this fucking wall.”

“that’s it,” shauna smirked, what used to be for eyes with soft edges turned vindictive, like she had you right where she wanted. “that’s the kinda power nat is lacking.”

you realized you idiotically walked straight into her trap.

you let her go, eyes squeezing shut with your eyebrows furrowed. you pinched the bridge of your nose, your head pounding at the sound of her taunts.

she was taking advantage of your feelings for nat.

“fuck, do you ever take a day off?”

she crossed her arms. “what do you think you’re fucking doing, y/n? i get that you guys are fucking, but you don’t have to baby her. nat’s been a shitty fucking leader and all she does is spend her time droning over me and mari like we’re the problem.”

“you are the problem. the two of you act like fucking kids, how is that nat’s fault?” you bit back.

wow, maybe you did sound like her guard dog.

“they voted for you to be a judge, they want you--even lottie with her crazy crap. why are you denying the inevitable? ‘cause you love her?” she scoffed in laughter, as if the mere thought was joke enough. “don’t kid yourself, she can’t give less of a shit about you. she’s got other priorities, right? she cares more about getting coach off than you these days.”

you sneered. “don’t say something you’ll regret.”

“does she deserve to be the leader?” she smirked. “she only got it ‘cause lottie spared her fucking life. the respect you say she’s owed wasn’t earned, you run laps around her.”

she began backing away at the snarl you threw her way. “if you don’t do something, you’ll be the one regretting shit.”

loyalty was a visage in the wilderness… survival came first.

“all rise.” van called, awaiting everybody to stand to their feet. “the people versus benjamin scott, on charges of arson, and multiple counts of attempted murder. jury verdict requires a two-thirds majority.” she turned to her side, gesturing towards the hut you and nat shared. “the honourable judges, y/n and natalie, presiding.”

you watched the way things worked carefully, how the power dynamic shifted as things moved along. you sat by nat in the seats you had dug from the plane’s ruins, the robust gavel akilah had crafted snug in nat’s hand as the antler queen crown hung heavy on her head.

as tai stood to give the opening statement for the prosecution, you couldn’t help but look back at the blonde beside you.

you thought back on the moment you had decided to overthrow her to be queen. you had never been one to reach for power, it wasn’t exactly something that enticed you.

though, even before the crash, it was apparent power loved reaching for you; you were deputy captain of the yellowjackets with jackie, despite other more viable options like shauna (who was jackie’s best friend and the fastest midfielder wiskayok high school had ever seen), or tai (who’s been an important member long before you joined the team). somehow, the name drawn to lead the yellowjackets to the success the team saw before the crash was yours.

you weren’t anything like the other leaders this team had seen.

jackie was a picture-perfect leader when she was needed to be. in suburbia, in civilization when order was her friend. the moment the team succumbed to the chaos of the wilderness, she was chewed up and tossed aside until she served the team one last time after her death.

lottie was such a spiritual guru with manipulative undertones to her preaching. she preyed on vulnerable beliefs, surfacing to guide when all things seem lost. she provides explanations, a sense of justification to console those troubled.

nat was a perceptive ruler. she observes, provides support when needed but does not drive things herself. she believed in sustainability, and that came from learning from mistakes everybody was inevitably going to make. her morals kept her from succeeding in leading a group as savage as this team, where most things necessary for survival thrusted her into long episodes of riddling guilt and remorse.

the thing was, you never considered yourself a healthy combination of all three of them, but the others would.

one thing you knew nat was blinded to was the obvious uprising of shauna’s ruthless nature. she’d brush it off as the brunette being brash, lashing out because of her inability to deal with her grief. but you knew it had perverted into something far worse. you had only seen the tip of the iceberg.

from the way she sat to the way she would verbally oppress everybody who crossed her path, you knew the fuse was burning short. you don’t really understand why shauna was one to listen to you, not when she ousted jackie to her death, beat lottie to a pulp with her bare fists, and passively threaten to harm nat every chance she had. she would never disrespect you, and you were eager to know why.

even now, in a moment of instability surrounding the hierarchy you lot have built, she was chomping off one leader at a time.

and nat was next. you needed to get her out before she gets hurt. and this was the quickest route to ultimate serenity. what harm did it do to knock her off? it was to keep her safe, right?

the thing was, your intentions seemed to only be clear to you.

“objection! relevance, your honour--s.” misty argued.

you held your head with your fingers, snapping out of your own field of thoughts. nat seemed to be driving so far, by the way everybody was fixed on her instead of you.

“sustained. misty isn’t the one on trial,” nat said, unwilling to eye you as she spoke.

tai rose an eyebrow, almost scoffing at the blonde’s reply.

“y/n?” she called, tone enough to shed whatever credibility nat should have in her authority. like tai wanted to hear it from you, because just coming from natalie wasn’t enough.

when you finally made your debut statement as judge, the whole court fell silent in anticipation of your words.

“uh, yeah. sustained. insulting the representation is not building your case, tai.” you insisted. you nodded towards misty, urging her to take her seat. catching sight of tai’s eye roll, you cocked your head sideways, clenching your jaw. “i suggest you get to the point of your argument with coach as the focal point, before you’re asked to surrender your time to the defence.”

your heard nat’s deep sigh, watching as she fiddled with the antler queen crown resting on her head. she took the headpiece off, setting it aside.

your hand instinctively went to adjust the fanged diadem clasped around your forehead. it hung high, a prideful reminder you were the protector of what was yours; contrary to the shameful way nat always shed her crown.

when she realized you were staring, she met your eyes briefly, before gesturing towards the standing prosecutor.

it was like she was practically yielding over her rule, all command she had over the team delivered to your hands.

tai scowled, but accepted the statement.

as she continued her interrogation, nat had to butt in to keep the peace. many times tai was asking leading questions, which swayed the way mari’s answer shaped the case for the jury.

you sat silent, knuckles against your temple.

it wasn’t until the very end, beyond the coach’s heartfelt speech at a last attempt to sway the jury, a vote was held.

involuntarily, you met shauna’s smug expression from across the camp. her words echoed in your head like a broken record, it felt like you were ghosted by what you knew was right.

as nat stood, gavel in hand, she slammed it against the table twice. “alright… good job, you two. all those in favour of finding coach not guilty, raise your hand.”

only her and misty seemed to find the coach innocent.

your heart sunk. the sight made you sick to your stomach. deep down, you felt your guilt gnaw at your insides. hungry.

“guys, come on, you can’t find him guilty if you have any doubt at all.” she scoffed, but the jury remained resolute.

“i think there’s your answer,” lottie stated. “he dies at dawn.”

“what? did any of you even listen to what went on during that trial?” nat’s voice rose, the slight rasp surfacing as she strained in hopes of keeping her utter horror at bay. “you’re telling me all of you believe he did it, beyond reasonable doubt?”

“bullshit, she’s not even on defence!” shauna barked.

“nat,” you gasped softly, reaching out to caress the small of her back. you could sense she was displeased with how this verdict had turned out. you could tell she had some sort of hope in your friends that they would make the right decision.

“you’re willing to kill him over suspicion? he’s missing his fucking leg, for fuck’s sake, how do you think he escaped a dozen of us without any help?” the blonde pleaded, “come on, what the fuck are you all thinking?”

“nat!” you warned, standing abruptly. you grabbed her arm, turning her towards you. “the trial’s over.”

“don’t fucking touch me,” she hissed, jerking away.

the rough gesture made your chest hurt. like she had just stabbed you straight through the heart with her words. you shook your head, your expression softening as you stared between her shaky, teary tawny eyes. “a decision has been made, and you need to honour that.”

“and i have the right to beg for mercy because this is taking an innocent man’s life we’re talking about here.” she sniffled, tears streamed down her cheeks.

“majority rules. we had a trial and he lost, that’s it.”

“so that’s what we do now? we decide life or death by roleplaying?” her lip trembled, head shaking slightly as her eyes stayed wide. “you’re fucking evil.”

she pushed past you, hands reaching to wipe her face clean of her salty tears. she knocked into your shoulder harshly, leaving you, glossy eyed with a clenched jaw standing before the jury.

“so, your honour,” shauna tipped her head, eyes blinking shut for a moment. she was courting the crown--and the new face that now bore it. “what do you say we do now?”

looking over their expectant faces, the fanged diadem suddenly felt heavy.

your breath hitched, and with a newfound sense of liability, you straightened, puffing your chest.

“keep him in the pen. we bid him goodbye at sundown.”

an; again lmk if ya’ll like this cuz im thinking of making it a series… i love nat sm like this trope has me in a chokehold

happy reading xx

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[dillydally6969]

SOVEREIGN .ᐟ 𝓛OTTIE MATTHEWS

♱ your girlfriend thinks looney lottie is a bad influence on you… maybe she’s right?

♱ cw; harsh language, cheating (you’re both dicks), slight!nsfw but no smut, toxic!nat

“really? for the fourth time this week?” nat scoffed. you had a feeling she wasn’t very pleased with the suggestion, but what could possibly give you that idea?

“yeah, i like talking to lottie. i mean, can she be a little batshit sometimes? yes. but i feel better after hanging out with her.”

the blonde rolled her eyes, hoisting the rifle over her head and around her back. she shook her head, grabbing a jacket from her sleeping bag. “lottie’s a schizo four months off her meds, baby, whatever comes out of her mouth is literally a chemical imbalance leaking from her brain.”

nat had her own opinions on mental illness--ultra-critical.

“she just asked me to join her for her foraging trip, it’s not like i’m on my knees worshipping whatever she’s preaching.” you argued, “why’re you getting mad at me for it?”

nat sighed, “i’m not getting mad at you. all i’m saying, is i don’t think it’s a good idea spending so much time with lottie.”

she caressed your shoulder, hand slipping down after a gentle squeeze. you followed her to the front door of the cabin, freed from the last sleeping yellowjacket upon tai waking everybody up, leaving you and nat alone as she got ready for hunting.

“then spend some time with me! i haven’t had a proper conversation with you since the first night, i miss you.”

she scoffed, looking at you like she’s saying, ‘seriously’?

“i have a whole soccer team and three testosterone filled assholes counting on me shooting bucks to stay alive. wasting around isn’t exactly an option.”

“spending time with your girlfriend isn’t wasting around. y’know, i really don’t like how travis’ nasty character rubbing off on you.” you pursed your lips, crossing your arms.

“keep it down!” she shushed you. “don’t talk about him like that, he lost his dad, for fuck’s sake.” she snapped, “god, you’re the one who’s been wasting off.”

jesus christ, since when did she turn so cruel?

she exhaled deeply through her nose. looking over her shoulder quickly, she grabbed your hand, giving it a tight squeeze.

“please stay away from that fucking psycho.”

the plead forced a wretched twist in your stomach, but still, you weren’t one to deny the antler queen’s request.

“i’m sorry, nat, but she won’t take no for an answer.”

she immediately let go of your hand, her jaw tightening. you felt your chest tighten at her action, teeth gnawing at your lip. “fine, whatever. but call it what it is, because you’re kissing at her feet just as much as those mindless goons who thinks she’s some fucking god. don’t come to me when you realize she just gets off on the fucking thrill of attention.”

she slammed the door shut behind her, leaving you alone in the hollow cabin. you sighed, hearing nat call for travis before the two left camp for the day.

eventually, you revealed yourself, shooting jackie a tight-lipped smile as you passed her sitting on the porch.

“y/n!” lottie softly called, “there you are. i’ve been waiting.”

your sour expression of worry immediately lifted, and on came a smile you catch yourself wearing often around lottie. you’ve been feeling burdened by nat’s bitter attitude towards the entire situation. she’s been lashing out at you more often, she will go days sometimes brushing you off and finding chores to do just so she doesn’t have to deal with you.

she hated when you’d ask if the two of you could just ‘walk and talk’. she didn’t like talking about feelings… or in general.

lottie was so bright, always eager to spend time with you.

she was the one asking you about your day when nat spends her nights hanging around the martinez brothers instead.

and she was the one making you feel wanted. needed. like you were oxygen she needed to breathe in, or she’d die.

“i’ve fetched the basket, i was wondering if you were ready for our trip today.” she queried gently, her fingers dancing across your shoulder to run her nails down your arm. “or if you were still planning on hunting with nat and travis.”

you shook your head. “no, they’ve left already.”

the way the corners of her eyes softened upon that moment, you swore she was almost relieved they had gone.

“alright then. shauna has kindly introduced a path down towards the creak her and jackie have discovered recently. i want to see if there are berries and such growing around.” she nodded towards an opening into the woods just behind the meat shed. “shall we break away for the day then?”

you beamed, mirroring her excitement. “i’d love to.”

“and you sincerely believe your bond has been hindered by her duties as a hunter?”

you hummed at lottie’s question. the two of you strolled side by side, elbows brushing occasionally as you ranted on about how you felt with nat’s recent drifting.

“i don’t know. sometimes i just think she’s sick of me.”

“well, i find it hard to believe anybody would grow sick of you.” she nudged you, chuckling. the remark, though just casual banter, made heat flush straight to your cheeks. you turned away to hide the tint of colour from the taller girl.

she smirked, hoping the image of you getting flustered would be burnt into her memories forever.

“what else has she done that’s troubling you, y/n?”

“she just doesn’t… talk to me anymore. it’s always travis this, hunting that, i just--like this morning, she was making all these mean comments and i told her i didn’t like how travis was rubbing off on her, she defended him!” you scoffed lightly, “i mean, i understand he just lost his father, but she’s just been such a trying person to care about lately, i feel lonely.”

the taller suddenly fell silent, and your heart skipped a beat.

it was always like this with lottie, you never realize you’ve over-shared until it was too late.

you let your guard down around her, but you loved the ease.

“i see,” she murmured, her fingers drumming against the strap of the basket. she seemed to hesitate before she spoke again, “does she… say anything about me in particular?”

your breath hitched; how did she know?

upon your struggle to stammer out a response, lottie giggled. she flashed you a small smile. “it’s quite obvious nat dislikes me, she isn’t exactly subtle with her mannerisms,” she joked lightly, “but i do understand her overprotective nature when it comes to you, the two of you are quite… close.”

“it’s--well--!” you were panicking. she caught you off guard.

nat didn’t really feel comfortable announcing anything about your relationship. she was waiting for things to die down and simmer into a less tense atmosphere at the very least.

it wasn’t like you were against it, but it narrowed the window you had for moments you get alone.

still, you shouldn’t be baffled an observant person like lottie noticed those stolen glances and hushed affection.

“you know, i’m here for you, y/n. however you need me.”

you do know. it’s all you think about when nat goes off with travis alone for hours. it’s why you feel less guilty, why you allow yourself to drift away from your sinking, hidden situation with nat and into lottie’s open arms.

“thanks, lot,” you answered, averting your gaze.

does lottie know about you two? shit, nat’s gonna be pissed.

“ah, here we are.” lottie gasped, stumbling ahead through a some bushes she pushed through into a tiny clearing.

you heard the soothing flush of flowing water, accompanied by lottie’s deep inhale. you took a good look around, soaking in the serenity of this little haven; it was absolutely breath-taking.

whilst lottie bent to lower her hand to graze the rippling water, you remained standing where you had.

however beautiful this oasis was, all you could see was lottie.

she looked so carefree, so in tune with everything that engulfed you. the way she fell into place immediately, like she had been here a million times before, like she was meant to fit right where she was. she was truly breathtaking.

“would you like to join me for a little break?” she asked, sitting by the creak with her knees to her chest. she patted the lakeshore right by her, setting the basket behind her.

“what about the berries?” you chuckled nervously.

lottie shrugged, nibbling on her bottom lip. her eyes raked you up and down briefly, if you weren’t staring at her so intently, you would’ve missed it. her nose twitched just the slightest. “the berries can wait. i want to talk with you.”

god, her smile was so warm and inviting. who could say no?

as you sat, your knees would brush. you could have sworn she was moving closer with each time she laughed at something you’d say (that wasn’t even funny) and swayed as she nudged you playfully. and when you’d go off about something jackie had said or tai and van being suspiciously cute, you could feel her eyes stripping you down.

her gaze was hot against your skin, you felt your cheeks burning when you’d catch her unwavering eyes.

“what?” you gasped, “do i have something on my face?”

she tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. she suddenly leant in close, her breath kissing your hot cheeks. her big, doe eyes ran across your features. she pulled back, humming with the faintest hint of a smirk. “no. not that i can see.”

“wha--what was that?” you squealed, leaning back.

“what was what?” lottie cocked her head aside.

“the--you were so close to my face!” oh my god, you could hear the shake in your voice, you sounded so pathetic. all you could hear was your heartbeat drumming in your ears.

“yes?” she replied, “is that a problem…?”

you don’t know how to answer; was it a problem? you didn’t exactly mind being close to lottie, you enjoyed the warmth that radiated from her as a matter of fact. but you’d burn up whenever her fingertips lingered on your skin a little too long.

“i’m sorry,” lottie sighed, backing away. her lips pouted slightly, her doe eyes giving you a look you couldn’t quite ignore. “it wasn’t my intention to make you uncomfortable.

“no!” you yelled almost a little too fast, “you didn’t.”

the sound of the water rushing over smooth stones was soothing, and the cool breeze carried the fresh scent of pine and earth. the air is crisp, but the warmth of lottie’s body kept you comfortable.

“good, that is the last thing i would ever want," she said, breaking the quiet. her voice is soft, but teasing "i’m very glad you agreed to come with me today. i was worried i’ve been too forward lately with my invitations.”

you glanced up at her, frowning slightly in confusion. you gnawed at your lip, chewing back your nerves.

“lot, i enjoy the time we spend together, so don’t say that.”

she stepped closer, her boots made a soft sound against the dirt. "well, i must confess. it’s not just that," she continued, voice dipping into a lighter tone. "there’s something about you... so effortlessly calm and... cute."

she let the word hang in the air, studying your reaction.

you blinked, unsure how to respond. "cute?" you stammered.

lottie laughed softly, her breath warm against your ear. her hand palmed yours on the ground, fingers slipping through the crevices of yours. "yes, cute. you don’t notice it, do you?" She tilted her head slightly, the edges of her eyes softening. "there is this charm about you. makes it hard to look away.”

your heart skipped, and you looked away, feeling your cheeks flush hotter. "thank you," you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper.

the way she was looking at you, it made your stomach knot.

Lottie’s grin widens. "everybody notices as well," she said gently, leaning in closer. "so shy… so eager to please.”

oh my god, what the fuck is happening right now?

you swallowed, your throat dry as your mind raced. you can't figure out what to say or do, the mixture of her proximity and her words leaving you utterly flustered.

before you can even gather your thoughts, she leant in fully, her lips brushing yours softly. the kiss is light, like she knew of the risks regarding her actions. it’s over in an instant, but the sensation lingered--a soft warmth, a tender sweetness that took your breath away. you felt guilt and shame shower you, because you didn’t want it to end.

you blinked at her, completely stunned. lottie pulled back slightly, her gaze shot down at your parted lips. the tip of her nose brushed yours, and there she remained.

“you are so much more than that,” she whispered, her other hand coming up to cup your cheek. “but i’m in no hurry to make you realize that.”

your heart was pounding in your chest, your face burning.

lottie watched you for a moment, the teasing glint in her eyes giving way to something deeper. something you can’t quite name. she straightened up, but her hand lingered near yours, almost as if waiting for you to reach out.

you just sat there, breathless, in between her arms.

the hike back to camp bled into a blur, and your heart still raced from what happened by the creek. lottie walked beside you, her presence almost magnetic, but you can't help but feel distracted, the kiss replaying in your mind over and over again.

you’re not sure what to make of it, and honestly, you don’t know how to act around lottie anymore.

the entire way, she continued bantering and being lottie.

how could she be so normal? how is she not freaking out?

plagued by these unanswered questions swirling in your head, the things she said went in one ear and out the other.

though, she grabbed your hand whenever the shell of your knuckles would brush against each other. and as you struggled to hold her eyes for too long without flushing, she couldn’t help but giggle at your physical reactions to her touch.

as she set the berries she collected (you were too gay panicked to help) down in the pantry, your feet instinctively followed.

“thank you for your help today,” she grinned, “i had a very good time.” she leant in, hands grabbing the sides of your arms, before pecking you on the cheek. “i hope you enjoyed yourself as much as i have. if you need to talk about anything you want, i’ll be around.”

damn, it felt like getting blue-balled. like her lips were still ghosting yours. she tasted so sweet, such a soft contrast to what nat usually rushed into.

when you finally strolled back out towards the campfire, the first thing you saw was nat sitting by the fire, her hair strapped beneath her headband, laughing at something travis just said. that laugh of hers was usually familiar, comforting... but tonight it felt different. there’s something about the way she was leaning toward him, the way her eyes shone when she looked at him that made something inside you tighten.

you tried shaking it off, but it left a bad taste in your mouth.

nat’s smile diminished as she notices you approach, her eyes wavering like she got caught doing something she shouldn’t.

as you got closer, you noticed how travis’s hand was slid away by nat from where it rested on her thigh before. her back angled away from him, and both their shoulders tensed.

"hey," nat called out, giving you a tight-lipped smile. "i was wondering when you’d be back."

you caught sight of lottie far behind nat and travis. she conversed with akilah about something, listening intently, but her eyes flickered up when she felt somebody’s gaze.

lottie’s smile was easy, but there's something unreadable in her eyes as she glanced at you before returning her attention to akilah. you almost forgot your girlfriend was watching you.

"we found a few things. nothing special."

you forced a smile, but it felt thin. you were too aware of the way nat and travis were sitting too close, too comfortable, like something had shifted in the air. you sat down on the other side of the blonde, trying to ignore the cold weight settling in your chest. despite being sat before a raging fire.

as the night dragged on, your suspicion grew. it wasn’t just the way nat was acting around the boy--more open, more relaxed. it was also the little things: the way she lingered a little too long in conversation with him, the secretive glances they exchanged when they thought no one was watching. your stomach twisted uncomfortably, and you knew something was different between them after this morning’s argument.

i’m just being paranoid, you tell yourself. they're friends.

later, as the fire burns low and the night wrapped around you in a blanket of cool air, you and nat slipped away from the group that had gathered around the fire for a hearty post-dinner hangout, heading toward the cabin.

you sat down on the edge of your sleeping mat, still watching nat as she unzipped her bag, preparing for bed. you opened your mouth, but the words stuck in your throat, the weight of your doubts holding them back.

finally, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. "nat... since when are you and travis so... close?"

nat froze, her hands pausing mid-motion as she turned toward you. her brow furrowed in confusion. "what do you mean?"

you bit your lip, your heart pounding.

you immediately regretted asking anything. the blonde you usually looked so forward to seeing stared back at you with such a bitter expression, you felt stupid.

nat’s expression hardened, her knuckles growing white from her tightening grip on the suitcase. her hand rose to scratch her nape. "i don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about," she started, her voice quiet but steady. she was lying. the flare at the end of that sentence told you all that you needed; you knew her very well, after all. "travis and i are just... close friends. he’s just going through a lot. you know that."

you nodded? but the gnawing suspicion ate at you. "but it just feels like something's happening that you’re not telling me."

nat gave you an amused scoff, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. "nothing’s happening, y/n. why’re you being so paranoid?" her defensive tone mocked your worries, but in a turn of events, it made you think of lottie kissing you.

you swallowed hard, forcing a smile, but the knot in your stomach tightened even further. you wanted to believe her.

but you knew it was more than what she was telling you.

“his hands were all over you, nat, i might be quiet but i’m not fucking blind.” you argued, looking up at her.

she scoffed, “you’re being hysterical, for fuck’s sake.”

“what am i supposed to think? you leave first thing in the morning, you come back late at night and when i see you, you’re gushing all over this guy.”

“why do you even give a fuck? you spend all your time sucking lottie’s dick anyway!”

“so this is what it is? you’re doing this ‘cuz you’re jealous?”

she slammed her suitcase shut. “i’m not fucking jealous, i’m sick of you acting like she’s some saviour when she’s not.”

“why am i such a sheep in your head? it’s not like i’m praying to her, i went picking mushrooms with her.” you stood, stepping forward. “all i wanted was to spend time with you, but you’re always doing something and i feel like i’m chasing after something that isn’t there anymore.”

“maybe ‘cuz it isn’t,” nat hissed, pulling back.

you felt that in your chest. you watched, mouth agape, as she ran her hand over her face. she pinched the bridge of her nose.

“i’m sick of you coming for travis. you’ve been nothing but a bitch to him since doom coming and i’m over it, okay?”

you stormed out of the cabin, your heart stinging from what the blonde had just implied. the cool night air brushed against your skin, and the silence of the woods did nothing to calm the storm brewing inside you. you didn’t know exactly what you were looking for, but your feet carried you past the campfire, where you spotted lottie talking to van.

without thinking, you walked over, grabbed Lottie's arm, and pulled her away, the urgency in your steps clear.

you lead the both of you through the edge around the cabin, until the light of the fire became a dim glow in the distance.

before she could say anything, you leant in, kissing her with more intensity than you intended. there was surprise in her tawny eyes, but she quickly melted into your touch, her hands resting on your arms as she didn’t pull away. mindlessly, she nudged you into a tree, a hand on your stomach as yours crept up to tug at her loose, jet hair.

when the kiss broke, lottie looked at you with a dark and dangerous gaze. her lips wet and parted as she panted in attempts to catch her breath.

“what was that for?” she gasped, her smirk evident.

your finger met her lip. you ran a free hand up her jaw, shushing her before leaning in.

her own anchored your hips against the bark scraping against your thighs. your lips began trailing from her lips to her neck, fingers snaking their way up your shirt.

“y/n--” she warned, “i’d rather you talk to me.”

lottie knew she had been drawing a line between you and nat lately. she understood the blonde’s jealous tendencies and it was quite easy from there. she also knew nat and travis were hooking up during the day, and she didn’t have the heart to tell you that. after all, you (used to be) were very much in love with her. but she knew all you needed was a little push.

“i just,” you sighed, “you said you’d be here however i need you. well, this is how i really need you right now.”

“running from your problems won’t fix anything,” she said softly, voice steady. she ran her fingers through her hair, caressing your warm cheek as you leant into her touch. “as much as i want this as well, it’s not under the right grounds. if you’re trying to find clarity, you're not going to get it this way.”

you stood there, her words sinking in as she gave you a knowing look. she sighed, kissing you on the cheek.

“i find it, you’ve confronted nat about her recent behaviour?”

she didn’t ask it with anger or judgment, but with the kind of certainty that made you realize what you were doing. you weren’t thinking straight, blinded by the utter betrayal you had felt. you could smell travis’ musk on nat, you could see the hickeys peaking from the collar of the layers she had on. god, you’ve been such an idiot, you should’ve known.

your hands peeled from her, rubbing the burnout from your eyes. tears welled as your breath deepened.

“hey, hey,” lottie whispered, she wiped the tears pooling from the edge of your eyes. “come here.”

you let her pull you into her arms, circling them snugly around your waist as you sniffled into her shoulder.

“i’m sorry, lot, i’m a mess.” you said, but she soothed you.

“you have nothing to apologize for, y/n. it’s the last thing i want.” lottie said softly. ���though, kissing isn’t one way my lips can provide a sense of coherence, i can assure you travis and nat have been… well, you know what it is they’ve done.”

you blinked at her, the words not fully sinking in at first. she knew nat was cheating? did she know about the two of you then? “what? how do you…?”

lottie’s eyes met yours, calm and knowing. “i already knew of the two of you. it has told me about you,” she said gently, her voice steady. “i could see the way you looked at her. and I knew what she was doing.” she paused, taking a breath. “nat isn’t in the right frame of mind to appreciate herself, much less others. you mustn’t blame her. she doesn’t understand the gravity of her actions, of how much pain she has caused you.”

you felt your heart tighten at her words, you felt beyond just the pain you were feeling.

“if it is adoration you crave, i can provide. i can give you what you desire, all you have to do is ask.”

lottie’s presence had always been soothing, but right now, it was something more--her voice, her energy, the way she just knew what to say. was your admiration merely the way a servant to her sovereign? or was it more?

you found yourself speaking before you could stop. “i—” you swallowed hard, the words feeling heavier than anything you’d said in a long time. “i need you to kiss me again. i haven’t stopped thinking about your lips since the creak, and i don’t think it’s just because of nat.” you grabbed the collar of her frilled dress, yanking her close. you heard her swallow thickly, her eyes fixed on your needy lips. “will you do this for me?”

lottie didn’t react immediately, her gaze steady on you as if weighing your words carefully.

then, she reached out, gently lifting your chin with her fingers, her eyes soft but intense. “you’re not just running away from nat, are you?” she asked, her voice low, knowing. “you’re looking for something in me.”

you nodded, not able to look away from her. "with you, i don’t feel like a fucking safety net. i feel appreciated.”

lottie’s gaze softened, and for the first time, there was a flicker of vulnerability in her eyes. you weren’t used to her being anything but the cool, level-headed leader the girls needed her to be. she pressed a kiss against your shoulder. “you’re something worth appreciating.” she pressed another kiss, this one against your jaw. “worth discovering.” finally, her thumb traced the curve of your bottom lip, her breath mingling with yours. “worth worshipping.”

her mouth moved against yours, tongue savouring you.

you’ve been around lottie so many times--you’ve known her for a long time. you’ve never made an effort to notice it, but there was no denying the chemistry you both shared. you usually tried not to think about it, but damn. she knew just what you needed to hear, just where you needed to be touched, and just what you needed to feel. you felt nerves flutter in your stomach as her hands rose to unbutton your shirt.

you were appalled. disgusted at how quick that turned you on. it made you wonder how long you had felt this attraction towards lottie, how in denial you have been with the blonde usually pawing at your chest in hopes of getting lucky.

this was so much more tender, so much more loving.

she gasped as she pried her lips from yours, immediately they latch onto your neck, just between your ear and your jaw. she’s rough with you, and you can tell she’s needed this for a while. she’s needed you. her hand that isn’t on your waist reaches around to the back of your head, forcing you to move where she guided you. like she always did, especially since she had been named the queen. the faint scent of her coconut perfume engrained in the fabric of her clothing is sickening. it invaded your senses and only made you want her more.

“you’ve got me, y/n. for however long you need, i’m yours.”

an; omg yall the reception my first fic got was insane!! so part two is coming to theatres near you. for now enjoy this silly little lottie fic i had cooking.

lmk if you guys like these cuz comments and stuff really help me know what kinda thing you guys like and encourage me!

happy reading! xx