discount-fitzroy-angursell - Tumblr blog

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Guy That Knows Facts and Woman Who Can Draw Conclusions finally comparing notes in the dracula email

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WLW - Worried for Lucy Westenra

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"That's not how vampire bats work, Quincey Morris"

You're wrong. He didn't say it was a vampire bat. He said it was a bat that they call a vampire. It was a vampire, in bat form.

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Drac stop stop solving your problems by yeeting stuff challenge 

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Dracula was so stupid angry that he couldn't drink Lucy that he

tried to summon wolves

but no wolves appeared

so he stomped all over London

finally found a zoo

summoned one (1) wolf

lured it all the way back to Lucy's house

and rocket launched it through her window

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The best way to describe the kind of show what we do in the shadows is is that one of the main characters was Jack the Ripper, he turned Elvis into a vampire and had him live in their basement, and those aren’t even close to the most shocking moments of the show it’s pure gold

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Thinking about it, I’m pretty sure my ancestors would be horrified with me.

Not because I’m lazy or unworthy or anything like that…

…but because one of my distant uncles was among the eight survivors of the Essex, the ship that inspired the ending of Moby Dick and sank after being rammed by a whale, and what do I fuckin do after my bloodline has this Ordeal at Sea?

I get a fuckin degree in Marine Science and go back the fuck out there.

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this book is from 1897 right? which makes today jonathan and mina’s 125th anniversary

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Tom Bombadil should be an aspirational character for everyone with issues setting boundaries actually bc he's just like Wow that sounds hard. Absolutely not my circus though. Enjoy a song and some bread. Anyway bye

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Might just write a story about a guy who has insane shit happen to him that he has to deal with.

Like going to the library and accidentally getting involved in a secret society that worships Cthulhu sort of craziness.

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With the disclaimer that I’m not into Homeric scholarship at all so this is just me pulling things out of thin air and overall vibes, but I love the idea of the Odyssey reimagined as a horror story. Something crawls out of the carnage of the Trojan War and drags itself home across a monster-infested Mediterranean, and past a certain point that thing is more revenant than living human. Again, this is more fanfiction than textual interpretation, so please refrain from being annoying in the notes.

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The Grim Reaper is waiting for me. Art by Ungfio

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once again why did we let masquerade balls and handwritten letters and heart lockets and daggers strapped to thighs go out of fashion

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shakespeare wasn't lying that tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow can creep in this petty pace from day to day