divescustos

[divescustos]

I allowed her to pull me along, keeping my fingers lightly twisted around hers, and finding a smile dancing across my lips when we finally came into the view of others, and I could see us reflected in their minds.

But I couldn't help but still almost completely at the sight. The sound of instruments tuning had always made me excited, the anticipation of what was to come. For the length of one of her heartbeats, I just took in the sight, let myself drink in the atmosphere, before turning to her and cupping her face as gently as I could with my raging emotions at the thought behind the gesture.

"You brought me to a concert?" I asked softly, too low to be heard by anyone but her. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

Bella grins, taking Edward’s hand and stepping out of the car. “Thank you,” she says, bouncing a little on her heels as she shuts her car door behind her. “Right this way.”

She walks them across the parking lot, keeping her fingers intertwined with Edward’s. She knows he’s probably scanning the thoughts of others to try and figure out what they’re doing here, but it’s a short walk until it’s clear.

“I present to you Concerts on the Pier,” she says. There’s several musicians on the little stage by the pier, quietly tuning their string instruments, and other concert goers are settled in the grass to enjoy the show in relaxation. Bella looks up at Edward, searching his expression carefully. “If it’s lame, we can go somewhere else, or come back another day if you don’t like the music. They have these every week for the next few months.”

[divescustos]

*cracks knuckles* what's up, i'm alive

[divescustos]

@auroverite : “ you’ve been so quiet. what’s on your mind? ”  

I briefly lifted my gaze to his before letting it drop again, wishing for once my gift could be reversed and I wouldn't have to explain myself quite so frequently. Then again -- would I want him to be able to hear my disagreements with his latest decision? I alone could have the privilege of thinking before my words were made known to someone else, and it had saved me more times than I could count.

"It's nothing," I said, turning another page in the book balanced in my hand, trying to slow my pace so as not to finish it as quickly as all the others. "Our newest... member has requested I don't talk quite so much. I'm simply being hospitable."

Rosalie Hale had gotten on my nerves almost as quickly as I had gotten on hers. If I could avoid her shrill complaining for a time by simply refusing to speak, then so be it.

[divescustos]

by the way, this boy turns 123 today.

or 17. again. depending on how you look at it.

[divescustos]

I let the silence stretch between us, even as her mind remained loud in my own. I had met so few of our kind where I had been safe to reveal my gift, it left me on uncertain footing on whether to acknowledge it or not. Carlisle had simply accepted it for what it was, given he'd recognised it before I did. We communicated through his thoughts and my words so often I forgot sometimes it was unusual.

"I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable," I said, eyes still lowered. "My ability. I have often wished I could turn it off, if even for an hour. The only way for me to get true quiet these days is to head off into the deep wilderness, and that's not exactly ideal."

I had been forced to adjust to near constant noise in my head, the invasion by dozens of others minds besides of my own. It had taken some time, but I could ignore most humans now, relegate them to a dull buzz, but the sharp, clear mind of our kind was much harder to push aside.

Her final words made me still completely. The juvenile thought had passed my mind when Carlisle had first brought her home, but I had not voiced it aloud. His mind had quickly assured me it was unfounded, so I had kept it to myself. Had she read me so easily as to see the doubt that still lingered somewhere?

"I didn't think you were," I replied eventually. "I didn't have a choice either. Did he explain the circumstances surrounding my change at all?"

Her knee bounced with the anxiety of simultaneously knowing who she was and not knowing herself at all. This body, despite its changes awarded by venom, felt familiar enough. She could and did recognise it, but her memories extended back as little as three days ago.

Edward's reassurance about money was somewhat of a relief to hear, but uneasiness lingered— as if she was going to be caught out anyway and reprimanded nonetheless. Even Carlisle's offer of pants felt uncomfortable to accept. A niggling part of her was sure that she would be admonished for daring to wear anything but skirts and dresses despite these clothes being offered to her.

Esme released a frustrated sigh, her thoughts unable to stop racing for even a few seconds. Red eyes briefly ran across Edward's face, his comment leaving her feeling as if she had been caught out in a lie. She didn't want to offend the occupants of this house... She wasn't sure why her body betrayed the understanding they meant no harm. Another thing to add to her list of whys.

"Ah, yes... I keep forgetting you can read minds." She tried a smile, but instead found her brow furrowing with how overwhelming it all was. "He does seem to be an incredibly calm man," she concurred, "even through all the pain of... well... becoming this, his voice was always reassuring." Accompanied by the distinct feeling as if she'd heard it before. That was a comfort at least; the odd familiarity of Carlisle.

"You know... I... I'm not trying to replace you," she stated tentatively, watching ripples travel outwards in red water towards the edges of the bowl every time Edward dipped the cloth. "The last thing I wish to do is intrude. I just... didn't get much choice in the matter."

[divescustos]

When I finally pulled away, I still felt the loss of his arms around me. But I couldn't remain in his embrace forever, like a child who wanted a parent to protect them from the world.

My eyes slid again to the still form in the bed. The idea of leaving her, for even a moment, made a vague, forgotten sense of nausea rise in my stomach.

"I don't think I can," I said softly. "But would you... Would you stay with me for a little longer?"

“I know,” Carlisle says. “It’s something I miss too. It’s why all of our houses are near water. I like listening to it to clear my mind.”

Not that that’s helpful in the middle of a hospital, but he’s trying. Centuries of life, and he still has no idea how to help his son.

“Do you want to take some time to take a walk? I can stay here with her if you want to take a minute to get some air.”

[divescustos]

@wastheheart / cont.

I had wanted to avoid this. To slip away, a note explaining my absence. If I believed he'd let me go, I might have sat down with Carlisle, put to him my choice. But I knew even before I fully planned to leave that he'd never see me as anything other than a child to keep under his thumb. And he'd only proven me right when he'd caught my initial attempt to go.

Neither of us had been kind to the other, and the rage was still boiling under my skin when I'd been confronted with the one person I had decided from the off I could not have this conversation with.

"What he wants is to keep me here," I snarled, doing my best to ignore the distraught tone of her mind. "Some piece of evidence that this... this unnatural lifestyle works. We're an experiment for him — have you never stopped to think what the rest of our world thinks of us? They pity us. It's ridiculous."

Siobhan's words came back to me yet again, as they had so often these past few weeks and months. Poor boy... How tragic—to be deprived of the greatest joy of this life. Poor boy. Tragic. Deprived. There was a reason Carlisle was alone in his choice other than those he had created to follow it.

"I've had quite enough of others controlling my life," I continued, voice a harsh hiss. "My mother, and now him, and now you. If you truly loved me, you'd let me make my own choice for once."

[divescustos]

"I thought you hated dancing?" I asked, confused, for the countless time wishing I had some insight into her mind as I did everyone else. Even just a brief glimpse would satisfy some of my curiosity. Or perhaps it would only inflame it more? "Isn't that what you telling everyone to get out of going before?"

“Of course you’ll get a dance,” Bella says, genuinely offended. “Leg or not, you’re dancing with me! That’s the whole point of prom, isn’t it? I wouldn’t go at all if I thought I was going to just stand there in the corner. That’d be awful.”

[divescustos]

For the first time since awakening into this immortal existence, I felt my mind go blank with sheer shock. And then a warmth overcame me, delirious joy sweeping through my limbs, even as I remained locked in place. Bella... loved me? Me? Her lips against my brow seemed to break the spell a little, and I curled protectively around her by pure instinct.

"Am I allowed to say it if I admit I've thought of little else for some time?" I whispered against her hair. If my heart still beat, it would be threatening to escape my chest, I just knew it.

I'd known ever since stopping the van, consciously. The voice that had screamed in my head ( not her! ), the instinct that had my body moving before even my mind could catch up. I had needed some time to come to terms with it, but now I couldn't picture ever returning to a point where I didn't love Bella Swan.

"Let me tell you, Bella?" I begged softly. "Please?"

Bella grins at him, expression bright. Her lashes flutter when Edward pulls her closer. She feels right like this. Happy and safe in Edward’s arms, his face pressed into her curls. She wraps her arms and legs around him as she settles in his lap.

“I love you. Please don’t say it back,” she adds hastily, lifting her head up so she can look him in the eyes. “Don’t say it back until you really think about it. I don’t want you to feel like you have to say it because I did. But I just want you to know that I love you.” She presses a kiss between his brows and curls against his chest again, heart fluttering anxiously as she hides her face in his shoulder.

[divescustos]

. . . ↟    (  CHARACTERS. ) :           *    EDWARD CULLEN.

“don't be self-conscious, if i could dream at all, it would be about you. and I'm not ashamed of it.”

req. by anonymous.

[divescustos]

A low growl rumbled up my throat for a moment at the thought of Charles. I rubbed my cheek against her shoulder, trying to show the reaction was not towards Esme, my own arm tightening a little in response. If she wanted to know that monster's end one day, I would tell her. Until then, I would do my best not to dwell. It had been hard enough to accept my greatly diminished control following my return, ruminating on my kills would do no good in regaining it.

"I love you," I whispered. They were words I hadn't often said to Carlisle or Esme, letting my actions assure them of my feelings. But when I had left, it had been under such a cloud of rage and hurt, that I felt it better to just tell them how I felt, no matter how it made my stomach twist a little. I wasn't much used to expressing my feelings verbally.

I flinched a little at the revelation of why they had been hunting separately. Carlisle had kept his thoughts carefully concealed, so skilled in it now that I didn't even notice he was doing it any more. But to know they were afraid to leave me alone, lest I abandon them again? I curled up tighter against her side, as if I could press myself into her very being. I was reminded, dimly, of being very small and doing the same thing, taking in a soft perfume I hadn't smelled in thirteen years.

"I won't leave again," I mumbled into Esme's shoulder. "I promise I won't. And–and especially not like that."

I pressed my lips together, trying to hold in the sob that wanted to bubble forth at her final words. But something about the simple promise to be there had the last of my defences crumbling and I let myself sag fully against her, both arms now around her, as if I were just a child.

She swallowed, the same ball around her ankle now resting in her throat. In the years without Edward she had forgotten the way in which her thoughts, abundantly free around Carlisle when speaking became too painful, could be heard by Edward. Her arms tightened around Edward, face willingly burying into his hair to try and forget the image of parents and husbands. Part of her wished to know if Edward knew whether her parents were dead or not. Another part wished to know if Charles had begged for his life as she had begged him for her own.

She breathed in the scent of Edward, instead concentrating on the image of him she was greeted with when opening her eyes in this life. She wanted that light to return to his eyes. "You don't have to know any more," she eventually whispered. "I will be here for as long as you want me to be."

Esme's eyes remained closed. She had only been hunting when Carlisle was home, afraid that should they both leave they would return to an empty house once more. Carlisle knew her anxiety, Edward undoubtedly would know too, but it gnawed at her. If anything, her own grief was doubled by the weight of Carlisle's own. She wasn't sure if she could witness it again— carry his sadness for him while he chose to ignore it.

"I appreciate that." Esme's voice was hoarse, but relieved. "But I do understand that some secrets are hard to speak."

After all, hadn't she killed the only daughter her parents had ever known? She had felt the grief her parents should have felt when losing her, a realisation that made Edward's departure even heavier. "I can't say I have the answers or know why things are they way they are, but I know above anything else I will always be here to help you."

[divescustos]

I took in a breath and let it out slowly. The coven itself may insist they were an equal trio, but anyone who met them would see who the true ruler was. Marcus was so emotionally checked out so as to practically be a non-entity, and Caius knew it was Aro who wielded the true power. My time in their chambers had been illuminating to say the least. Besides, it was Aro who cared about their image, however ridiculous that sounded given their power. He was the one I was focused on.

"Caius will not be swayed, he hates that we exist at all," I muttered, folding my arms over my chest. "Marcus might have some empathy — he did side with me. But Aro knows what he wants. It isn't justice, it's... " I sighed, lifting a hand to pinch the bridge of my nose before the words fell. I had seen the way he looked at Alice, at me. At Bella. He was a collector, and we were a prize. "I keep trying to tell myself that if I word things just right, he'll see reason. But I just can't picture it happening. And with Alice gone..."

@merveiilles

ㅤㅤ❝𝓐hh—❞ Liam reached up to rub his right hand along his mouth and down past his chin, letting his hand rest on his side. A clear gesture of being unsure how to talk about such a thing. How honest he was supposed to be. He figured everyone would be trying to be in good spirits about the ordeal; but in the end, the truth was always something one ought to be honest about. ❝—Don't forget that you don't only have to convince Aro, but Caius and Marcus as well. Aro may be the frontman, but there are two others as well.❞ He let out a sigh, searching back through his own memories and the stories from other vampires he had heard from over the centuries lived. ❝I can only think of a couple times when his mind had been changed... But fair warning, it doesn't happen often.❞ A pause as the Irishman's eyes circled back toward the house. ❝You do have a lot of people willin' to speak on your behalf. You may have a chance.❞

|| @divescustos

[divescustos]

My expression softened at her briefly fearful thoughts, and I did something I rarely would — I reached out a took her hand, giving it a squeeze. I was frustrated with her, angry at her rash decision that had brought the Volturi’s eyes to us. But I wouldn’t be fighting her tonight. Hopefully not any night.

“I know,” I said simply for a moment, considering my next words. “And I did for a while. Alice was planning on ways to contain me most of the way home. But… Rose, you’re my sister. Right now, everything is... okay. I’ve been miserable enough these last six months. I don’t think I have the energy to keep it up.”

I had known before Bella even put the idea to my family which way it would go. She might not have been certain — but I knew them. I knew how they had thought about our relationship from the start. It was a foregone conclusion that she would get what she wanted as soon as she asked them. It didn’t mean I couldn’t still make my opinion known.

“Did you know I told her about my time away the first time she visited the house?” I replied, deciding to not address her point specifically just yet. I didn't specify the particular years, all of them would know exactly when I meant by such a phrase. “I told her of my terrible attempt at being a ‘normal’ vampire, and the cost. I have tried at every turn to be honest about how hard just being in her presence is, how difficult all of this is. I have no explanation really for why she still wants this existence, and now it’s out of my hands. I have tried, truly. I don’t want this for her either.”

Despite now knowing what awaited me in a future where she no longer lived, I still wanted her to change her mind. I wanted to see how time would change her, and what she’d study in college, and eventually pick for a career. I wanted her to have a future, not this endless purgatory.

     HUNTING WAS a good cover story if things were to go badly . not that she planned on getting into a fight with her brother today , but that would depend on what he had to say . if he couldn't see her perspective after all these years . . . what she'd lost , what she's had to live with -- what she's never been able to forget . in love or in hatred , she had to vote against bella becoming like her . like them .      she realized the instant his lips curled into an amused smile that he was joking . everything was tense , still . she thought he was actually considering it . embarrassed now , that he could hear her fear , she looked down to the ground .      ❛ don't blame me for thinking so ,  ❜ she interjected without context . it wasn't necessary , given his powers . ❛ if it were someone i cared about i would want to destroy you .  ❜      it wasn't true , and he would know that . they walked for a few paces , moving at a casual , yet still inhuman , pace . she expected silence until they'd had something to drink , but edward broke it much earlier .      an eyebrow rose at the initial apology , its serious nature not sitting right . edward should be furious , even if they both had the same answer . his was out of love and protection . hers was out of jealousy and protection . was it out of protection ? she'd like to believe that it was .      ❛ i thought that i made it quite clear the choice was for my own sake . if i am anything , it's honest .  ❜ and she was honest when giving her reasons . bella's decision was out of her hands , but voting for a miserable life that had brought her more suffering than not felt evil of her . it wasn't fair to give bella the wrong , romanticized impression . ❛ and if i'm projecting onto her . . . then i'm sorry . but you've nothing to worry about . she wouldn't listen to me even if i told her everything that's happened to me . you've got her thinking we all have lives worth living .  ❜

[divescustos]

Words felt inadequate at such a declaration. Instead, I simply tucked her more firmly into my side, pressing a lingering kiss to the side of her head. We'd shared more intimate showings of affection, but this felt right while we looked at this reflection of my human life together. Something I may have gotten away with back then, perhaps earning a raised eyebrow from my mother if she caught us.

I didn't often try to picture Bella in that setting. It felt so alien now, and she was so very of the present. But I wished, more than anything, that I could have introduced her to my mother.

"She would have loved you," I murmured, running a finger over the photograph, tracing the line of her face. "I wish I remembered more. So I could tell you. But I know that much. She would have adored you."

“It is. I’m constantly in awe of you.” Bella’s smile is soft and adoring as she looks at Edward. “I fall more and more in love with you with each new thing I learn about you.”

Bold, perhaps, but Bella knows she means it. Each bit of knowledge Edward gives her about his life before is precious to her like a gem, and she treasures it more than any diamond or pearl she could receive.

Bella grins at the picture, head tilting with interest at the added colors. “It’s so strange that there weren’t colored photographs back then,” she murmurs, fingers brushing against the edge of the picture. “She’s pretty. You’ve got the same eyes.”

[divescustos]

I couldn't hold back the wince as I followed his thought process, my own mind twisting it off into another strand. What would Aro think if he came here and found not only our family and the wolves, but others of our kind that had switched their diet to our own? There wasn't enough time for their eyes to change, but as long as I knew, he would too.

"I don't blame you," I murmured, offering an apologetic smile. "If there's anything we can do to make you more comfortable, please let one of us know. Or... if you wish to go," I was loathe to think of losing any of our witnesses, but we couldn't force them to stay, "you are, of course, free to leave. We won't hold it against you."

@falkenar

ㅤㅤ𝓗earing the man suggest trying the alternate diet while he was here sent a spike of nervousness up his spine. He didn't enjoy that idea. news of another vampire- let alone the least social of the bunch- switching his diet while a couple dozen vampires could stand gawking at the windows waiting for any sign of his movements. It was the least likely scenario, but it was something that still ran through Alistair's mind. ❝I- I think I'll decline your offer for the time being.❞ Alistair admitted. Perhaps a more private time. But the present days was not in his favour with so many people on the property. ❝However...I shall keep it in mind.❞

|| @divescustos

[divescustos]

"I often do," I teased, unable to help myself with the opening she'd provided. Rose, Jasper and Emmett had all had siblings before they were turned, and we couldn't be sure of Alice, of course, but I'd never known what it was like to be anything other than an only child before they joined us. And I loved them all dearly, gladly referred to them as my brothers and sisters. But what I had with Alice felt like the most natural of them all.

"Careful," I warned, voice still carrying that playful tone. "Rosalie already says my head is too large as it is. You'll only make it worse talking like that."

@merveiilles

ㅤㅤ𝓟utting the letters in the mail would probably be a much safer option for some of the folks that were invited to Edward and Bella's wedding. ❝You do have a point.❞ Alice agreed. ❝Thank you.❞ She quietly giggled to herself. Almost giddy with excitement about planning such a remarkable wedding. When Alice felt Edward wrap his arms around her for a quick hug, she smiled and happily put her arms around him- as much as she could with her small stature. ❝You're most welcome. I'm more than happy to help out my favourite people. Besides, you two deserve the best.❞

|| @divescustos

[divescustos]

As she grasped my hands, I gave hers a squeeze. Had my heart still beat, I knew it would have been thudding hard and fast in my chest. It took everything in me not to seek out Bella's, the sound that had become a metronome for my life, giving me balance and rhythm. I wanted to ground myself with it, but I knew if I let my ears wander that much, I'd inevitably find the minds around her. Alice had done a valiant job keeping the dress from me, and I wasn't about to ruin it now.

I was fully drawn back by her serious tone. And as she spoke, I felt my throat tighten and a lump form. The tears would not come, could never gather and fall, but I felt their phantom presence all the same. I looked down at our hands as she spoke, the paleness we shared thanks to our natures. But much like I had liked to fancy my features changed over the years to better reflect Carlisle, I very much hoped my heart had even a touch of the love Esme's did.

"Esme," I said, voice cracking a little as I met her eyes. I sucked in my lips for a moment, trying to think of the right words. None that came to mind would say enough, but I could try. "Your son was the luckiest little boy, to have you. That you chose to share some of your love with me has been a true blessing. I know I haven't always been the best at showing it, but I love you dearly, and I always will."

I felt inordinately lucky to have had not one but two mothers that had loved me more than I had ever deserved. I bent down to kiss Esme's cheek, letting my eyes close and a shaky breath escape as I straightened up again.

The lump returned to my throat at the sight of the gift. Wordlessly, I held one hand out, silently requesting she help me with them.

"Well it's a good thing we can reattach them, then," Esme laughed, her grin impossibly growing bigger both in her own joy and witnessing that of Edward's.

She finally ceased her fiddling, instead opting to run her hands down the side of Edward's arms so her hands could find his own. It had been chaotic all morning; Alice was flitting between Bella and the occupants of this house determined, as Edward noticed, that everyone looked immaculate. Esme had just about greeted everyone she personally knew, making small talk and milling around other guests, but she hadn't wanted the ceremony to start without at least briefly catching Edward alone.

"You'll have to forgive Alice, I think it's the most fun she's had for decades." The last wedding was Alice's own and, unsurprisingly, she found it far more stressful than the hand she had played in helping this happy couple arrange theirs.

"I know you can read my thoughts," she began, "but I just wanted to thank you personally for allowing me to be your mother." Esme could feel the way her voice wished to break. Not yet, they hadn't even said 'I do'. "I couldn't have settled into this life without you, Edward. I wouldn't have been half as happy." She swallowed, forcing down the familiar ball in her throat. Luckily for Alice, she didn't have to worry about tears disturbing make-up. "You deserve this happiness so very much; watching you be alone for so long has hurt not only me, but Carlisle too."

Esme briefly ran her thumbs against the tops of Edward's knuckles before fiddling with her clutch bag. "Here, a present for the groom." She held out a small box between them containing a pair of cufflinks engraved with the Cullen crest. "I would say for good luck too, but I don't think you need it."