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chuckling indulgently.. oh go on... i suppose a LITTLE bit of monica in my life wouldn't hurt

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divorce themed restaurant menu

dessert: CUSTARDy Battle

yeah that's all i've got so far sorry

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random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

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how dare the item of clothing i developed a weird attachment to and have worn almost every single day since i bought it start to show signs of wear

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knight who is constantly searching for a good and noble king to serve but cannot fucking find one for the life of him so he has to become the good and noble king himself.

and now all these other knights are coming around like "please let me serve you" and like obviously hes going to let them serve him thats the point of being a good and noble king but its also. very annoying. one of you become the good and noble king for once lets trade

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enough.

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man with loophole fetish facing criminal charges gets off on a technicality

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Safety inspection in the Mines of Moria.

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Pros of vampirism: cool commissions from over 100 years ago. Cons? You have to pay to see them.

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