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In which I just need to be grateful, but I know that I don't want to.

Life's good. Everything's alright. Nothing's out of place.

But somehow, I don't feel content. I couldn't.

I always set unthinkably high standards for myself. Growing up with too many expectations and trying hard to meet them all--only to fail in some, I don't think I have enough faith in myself. I struggle in finding my self-worth, in finding my own strengths, in believing my potential. Thinking about it, that might be the reason for all my failures until now.

I wouldn't dare to say that my life is miserable, because it isn't. I have a... relatively stable job, I don't have any major life problems, I don't have serious health and financial issues, and my family is okay-ish. My life is pretty normal, albeit a little bit boring--but it is an enough life, where I could fulfill everything I need without any worries.

It is enough, but somehow, I want more.

I think it's normal for humans in wanting to strive higher and do better. But there's ugly feeling in my heart whenever I want more--because somehow I become arrogant and think:

I deserve better than this.

And that's where the hate grows. I hate myself for thinking arrogantly. I hate myself for thinking I deserve better than this while I'm doing nothing to get those better things. I hate myself for not living up to my own expectations.

But I hate myself the most for starting to accept that maybe, just maybe, this is the life that I am worth living.

It's hard to explain, this self-hate. It's like, I keep thinking that my life shouldn't be like this while deep down in my consciousness, I believe that myself is the only one to blame for the life I am living right now.

Which is, true, but it also isn't.

I think the simplest solution to end this self-hate and never ending wondering about a better life is... To accept what I have right now and be grateful. And if I do want more in my life, then I have to start trying to achieve it.

But I don't want to. I just don't.

Well... maybe I just love self-hating myself.

Maybe.

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I haven't kept up to date with SuJu in a while, but I'm glad to see nothing has changed lmao

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🎬When Life Gives You Tangerines (2025)

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렌 (REN) The 1st Mini Album ‘Ren’dezvous' 

 Concept Photo 3 (SEASON ver.)

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Ren - Ready to Move

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kinda want to pull a hamin simply because i want to know everybody reactions to my death.

but i'm pretty sure nothing will happen lol maybe some people will feel a little sad then voila the world is alright because there's nothing happened! then my afterlife will be ruined and i'll burn to ashes in hell. what a way to waste my life.

why is taking your own life is restricted..... sigh.....

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“…. that I feel like I’ll drown to death” - Chap 38

lee hamin drawing a wings of flower on this kid’s (him) back hits hard whenever I think about how he describes the feeling of drowning whenever it rains and now he can fly, now he’s free and I just love him so much

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Check?

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lagi ngerasa serba kurang, serba salah.

bukan, bukan kurang materi atau apa.

lagi ngerasa diri sendiri kurang dan salah. haha.

yaa, emang akan selalu ada masanya, ya.

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Everyone feels tremendous regret over losing you. Even after ten years. I’m sure we’ll feel it for the rest of our lives.

Orange (Jul 2016 - Sep 2016)

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i've always known that to live, is to feel loneliness. i found it's pathetic to feel lonely but at the same time all i want is to be alone. i found that it's pathetic to be born as a creature who needs to socialize and interact with the others while in fact i cannot force myself to do that. while in fact i do not want to do that.

i do not want to engage with other people, but i need to. i do not want to depend to other people, but i must. i do not want to care for other people, but i do not have a choice. it is my nature, our nature, and it's just how we live, how humans live.

and i really hate it.

i hate how loneliness works in humans.

or maybe, i just hate to live as a human.

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Digimon Adventure Teaser Trailer.

The Cast of Tri will be returning for this film.

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Digimon Adventure 20th anniversary film teaser PV. The film will premiere in early Spring 2020.

Teaser Poster

Japanese Cast

Natsuki Hanae as Taichi Yagami

Yoshimasa Hosoya as Yamato Ishida

Suzuko Mimori as Sora Takenouchi

Mutsumi Tamura as Koshiro Izumi

Hitomi Yoshida as Mimi Tachikawa

Junya Enoki as Takeru Takaishi

Junya Ikeda as Joe Kido

M.A.O as Hikari Yagami

Chika Sakamoto as Agumon

Mayumi Yamaguchi as Gabumon

Atori Shigematsu as Piyomon

Takahiro Sakurai as Tentomon

Kinoko Yamada as Palmon

Miwa Matsumoto as Patamon

Junko Takeuchi as Gomamon

Yuka Tokumitsu as Tailmon

Staff

Supervisor: Hiromi Seki

Character designer: Katsuyoshi Nakatsuru

Digimon designer: Kenji Watanabe

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