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you CANNOT read too much old timey fiction because I was playing Raft with the lads this morning and without a THOUGHT said we could sail over to another island "if the wind would consent to blow" & let me tell you. This did not pass by unremarked.

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stoned and autistic at a party trying to make conversation: I find the comparative lifespan of organisms so interesting. Spiders are comparatively long lived animals. Female black widows can live up to 3 years but their male counterparts rarely live four months. Some tarantulas live upwards of 20 years. The longest lived spider was around 43 years old when she was cruelly assassinated by a parasitic wasp. Domestic rats have a lifespan comparable to female black widows. To put things into perspective, there are spiders that remember a pre-pandemic world but it is likely every rat on earth was born post-COVID. There could be a spider out there born when Reagan was in office.

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GUYS I JUST SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND I AM DYING

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biblical accurate naruhina

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raising my son on a strict media diet of Portal, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Mythbusters in an attempt to resurrect the extinct species Pre-Gamergate Smug Nerd Boy

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never rlly thought abt this before but the development of itachi must have been so fucking CRAZYYYY from kakashi's perspective ... like. they spend so much time together in the ANBU, itachi is younger than him, kakashi is a bit of a mentor to him. and then suddenly one night the uchiha get genocided and he finds out that HE did it ... itachi fucks off, joins a major terrorist organization, kakashi doesnt hear from him in YEARS. never gets an explanation for all of this it's just like um, yeah, he became the joker just randomly. he just went crazy. and that's why he killed his own family and then the next time they encounter each other, itachi sends him to the nightmare horror STABBING u while u hang from a cross for 72 hours dimension ... lol. which ends with him hospitalized, like it must have been such a mindfuck for kakashi lmfaooo. but u know what. the even bigger and ten billion times worse surprise still awaits him at this point ... just u wait til u find out who the OTHER participant in this genocide was asfdfdfdsfds

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big fan of "one william" as a quantity. keep it up

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calmest peter parker evening (he dealt with everything before this dw)

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my favorite thing about navigating fanfiction is finding a really good one and being all “oh boy this was good, I hope they have more!” and literally every other story they’ve ever written was for like Miami Vice 

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Australia, as a country, has developed a weird national collective amnesia that winter ever exists in this country to the point that every solstice the national broadcaster runs an article going 'Australians once again shocked at to discover this new thing called "cold"'.

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Cool Curses To Put In Your Fantasy Game

Curse that makes you unable to read the rest of this list

ornljnjkjdhioalpa

rhiowpjnwlnwbja

9iekwnkzalnpas

jtiorhnlsnkda

hjeioensoapsa

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Nine gothic misfortunes

1. You have an enormous black dog which must be walked for four hours daily or it puts its excess energy to use in lighting witch-fires in awkward places. One day you were feeling a little ill, so you asked the unreliable narrator to walk the dog instead. The unreliable narrator faithfully walked the dog for four hours. It is a complete mystery as to why everything is on fire.

2. You hid under the grand staircase to escape that thing that was knocking at your window in the height of the storm. Now there is a ‘delivery failed’ notice on the mat. You are going to have to pick up your artisan cheeses from the local depot twenty miles away.

3. The malign spirit possessing you has lapsed on its ghastly rent, and as a consequence you have been re-possessed by a bailiff. It is somewhat alarming to be in the possession of a supernatural bailiff. Your body spends more time in the high court of the dead that you would like.

4. You came to this graveyard on the cliff over the sea at the dead of night with the intent of digging up the grave of your long-lost love, which you believe to contain the silver dagger that alone can settle her unquiet ghost. It is a stressful situation. You were never very good at numbers when stressed. You believe you may have taken twenty rather than thirty paces from the old yew tree and may in consequence have dug up a badger.

5. A dread raven has settled over your door, from which it hourly proclaims your doom. You made a plan to get rid of the raven. The raven network appears to have got hold of this plan, because another smaller raven turned up to perch on the shoulder of the first and proclaim its doom. Now a third, even smaller one has turned up. You have recursive ravens. There is probably a lot of doom about to come down.

6. Lacking a cellar, you have walled up your rival beneath your floorboards. Unfortunately your rival is a mouse and seems to be enjoying it down there. Will the cheese board will never be safe?

7. Now that they the have closed the refinery across the bay, the mist no longer descends over the high moor at night and as a consequence gruesome deeds cannot be done unnoticed. You have a huge to-do list of gruesome deeds. The local undertaker has started to call you up regarding supply chain issues.

8. You have been staring into this abyss for some considerable time. It is not gazing back. In point of fact it is ignoring you completely. It looks like you will be going home alone tonight.

9. Your grandmother has refused to pass down the ancestral curse, instead bequeathing it to the local cats’ home.

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simply contemplating…

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I dedicate this post to my cousin Leah who was gonna FaceTime me and then didn't because she had "corndog bloat" and needed to "sweat it out on the beanbag chair". That sounds really scary, Leah. We're all praying for you.

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I need y'all to watch this clip