doinbetter

[doinbetter]

artist: haley tippmann

[doinbetter]

snoopy reads mary oliver!!

[doinbetter]

I genuinely think that any change in behavior starts w telling yourself that your worst days, worst performances, just worst moments in general aren’t who you “truly are.” It’s all about unlearning any thought process that essentially chalks up traits you aren’t proud of to “this is who I really am” “in reality I’m lazy” “in reality I’m just a bad person” bc not only is that never true, but it impedes your efforts to try to do better as well. Anything we struggle with has roots in things like childhood trauma, thoughts you’ve been fed before, your upbringing…. but never that you’re inherently a bad person. What I’m learning this year is that a lot of us doing better & being better & improving really comes down to self-talk—to disavowing the very notion that deep down we’re simply bad.

[doinbetter]

Btw Israel let Palestinians celebrate not one (1) holiday in peace. They didn’t grant Christian Palestinians access to Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, they actively attacked families who were already starving at Iftar during Ramadan, and now there are several reports of families being killed on Eid al-Fitr—a sacred multi-day holiday practiced by lots of Arabs. It breaks my heart imagining the Palestinian families in Gaza right now, most of whom are spending Eid mourning loved ones who were taken by Israeli strikes. Most of us will never understand the sheer magnitude of that pain.

[doinbetter]

happy "everyone forgets that icarus also flew" monday. i want to throw up !

[doinbetter]

Total eclipse of the Sun, July 1860, illustrated by astronomer Warren de la Rue.

[doinbetter]

I’ve learned to only seek validation from myself. When I live by my own standards, I feel happy and joyful and pleased with my choices. When I live by other people’s standards, thats when regrets or inadequacy or anxiousness enters the premises.

It really just comes down to, like, why wouldn’t my standards for my own life be good enough? What does other peoples wishes have to do with me? I like it, I’m enjoying the process, it makes me excited, I’m not hurting myself or anyone else, I’m not being a nuisance to society, I’m not stepping on anyone to get ahead, so there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be content with living by my own standards. And when I see others out and about, the need to judge them or feel judged by them just disappears. We aren’t living by the same standards because we are not the same. Our lives are different, our needs are different. And that’s perfectly fine.

This goes for how I choose to conduct my life and also simple things like my standards for beauty and appearances.

[doinbetter]

Constantly torn between diligent self care, going to bed at 8pm, working out at 5am, having my shit together completely and wanting to stay up all night and be chaotic and smoke weed and be wild and howl at the moon

[doinbetter]

Everyone on here has probably forgotten me but here are some updates from my life now :)

I'm all done with school and living back with family. I got a fellowship with a government agency doing environmental data analysis! It was really challenging at first. (challenges: remote work, wasn't getting a lot of support from my mentor, general first full time job woes) BUT I've been putting in extra effort to meet the team. I'm feeling more supported and motivated because of that.

Also started getting back into a productive headspace after not really identifying with that mindset for a while. Honestly COVID threw me off for several years there (+ the general stresses of grad school + stoner life). I just didn't feel as driven as I used to, but luckily I could coast off my past accomplishments for a few years and end up in a good place. I was tired of the grindset mentality. It was too much with the pandemic. I realized it's important to start my career off right though :) I want to do a great job on my project & make a good impression. (while still having balance in the rest of my life!! like you won't catch me working after hours but from 9 - 5... i'm ON IT!)

My main goal in life right now is working on my FINANCES! mainly I'm obsessed with paying off my student loans. I give myself plenty of money for groceries each month. One of my goals for this year was to be hot, so I also give myself like $2-300 each month to invest in my appearance. I made a list of essential beauty / clothing items and I'm working through it month by month. Other than that... I'm dumping THOUSANDS into student loan debt to hopefully be debt free by end 2024 or early 2025. Then I save save save and move out of my family's house by Fall 2025. <3

On the note of being hot goals: started showering nightly, weekly face mask monday routine (nails, hair mask, face mask, foot soak, shaving everything, and a weed gummy to top it off!) and buying a few cute clothes that fit me at my current size instead of putting it off until I reached a lower weight (unhealthy thought leftover from obsessive weight loss days :( ) My favorite purchase so far is CUTE PJS FROM VICTORIAS SECRET <3 <3 I got a slip and a shirt/shorts combo that help me feel sooo cute in the evenings when I'm doing my hygiene routines, journaling, reading... <3 I also got a bra that actually fits me and I'm a fucking DD. who??????

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years now. I've gotten really close to his family and I spend most weekends at his place. I'm very happy and at peace in this relationship. Working on doing more little acts of kindness. He's very generous with me so I wanna match his energy more. we're working on being more independent now in this new busy era for us. unfortunately we can't be unemployed students forever.

also my best friend called me her best friend so i officially have a best friend in my hometown. she is so funny and drama-free. I love her. WOO!

So that's life! I'm a full on financially independent woman now. it feels AMAZING!

love, Jillian

[doinbetter]

meditation has CHANGED MY LIFE!! oh my god! I thought I was going to be a slave to my anxiety disorder forevermore. my mentality is completely different from how it was even 3 months ago. I still struggle, but the difference is I catch myself doing it. I notice it. and I let it go. and maybe I have to let it go 10x in a row but in the end I do. The thoughts don't have the same power that they used to.

[doinbetter]

Just know that the work you put into yourself will always compound and pay you back 100x. And there’s no rush to a finish line, everything is always a work in progress. I will never regret going to college, buying books, courses, classes, investing in hobbies, traveling, the gym and workout classes, high quality organic food, good healthcare, high quality clothing, taking care of my skin/hair/nails/teeth/brows/lashes/etc. because it all snowballs into the larger picture. No one can take your education from you. No one can take your fit body and healthy, glowing appearance from you. It takes real work day in and day out to have it all together. I’ve invested thousands of dollars and countless hours into myself and I would do it all again and then some. There is no easy fix and there is no get rich quick scheme. You know what you have to do, it just takes the courage to do it.

[doinbetter]

the devil’s whispers:

you can do it tomorrow (if you don’t do it now you’ll never do it ever)

you have a lot of time left (life is actually pretty short and we don’t have that much time)

you can skip this one little thing today (you are functioning solely due to the fact that you have a routine)

i must respond to this one thing that is bothering me immediately (you don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head)

I must check my phone (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head)

panicking is productive (panicking never makes a situation better, but in fact exacerbates it)

I must listen to music while doing the most minute task (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head. and I like music as much as the next person but moments of sheer silence are crucial)

I must befriend everyone (some people just don’t mesh together and that is ok)

I can skip working out for the day (working out does so much for ur physical AND mental health)

If misfortune happens to me it’s because I am uniquely unlucky (misfortune has nothing to do with preordained circumstances and everything to do with random odds)

If I am mistreated it’s because I am a horrible person and I deserve it (most times people are projecting their issues onto u and it has nothing to do with u)

if I make a mistake I am uniquely horrible (we are all human and we all make mistakes. the important thing is to hold ourselves accountable and learn from them)

I must have this one thing I really want now (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head. also whatever u want will still be here tomorrow so this sense of urgency is false)

I am uniquely hated/disliked/ostracized (most people are busy w their own lives and don’t have the time to be hating on u. and if they really are then their life is pretty empty and their opinion should not be held in high regard to begin with)

[doinbetter]

[doinbetter]

Native Americans march in solidarity with Palestine

Denver, Colorado USA

© Malek Asfeer 

[doinbetter]

Nothing is more devastating than this. The UN World Food Program has officially suspended aid delivery to northern Gaza, citing violence and lack of safety as major reasons the aid trucks aren’t getting through. Israeli officers are liberally shooting at Palestinians who try to approach the trucks in hopes of getting even the smallest morsels of food, despite the fact that Israel has allowed only one crossing for the already woefully low numbers of aid they’re permitting entry. Reportedly this number has fallen from 140 a day in January to just 60 a day this month, and now 16% of all Gazan children under 2 are “acutely malnourished.” Meanwhile, the US vetoes a call for a ceasefire for the third fucking time. It’s so inhumane in its cruelty it’s actually shocking to see it being allowed to go on and on, and on an international level no less.

[doinbetter]

andrew bush, "woman taking her time rambling south at 63 mph on the hollywood freeway near the vine street exit on a saturday afternoon," 1991, chromogenic print

[doinbetter]