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Brutal

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barnyard the original party animals is the uncontested lord of bad implications in childrens movies

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it’s so funny how iroh is always just like “oh don’t look at me I am but a stupid old man” and if anyone is like “um... no...... you’re the Dragon of the West” he’s like “what? that was , like, ages ago. six years ago, even. I’m stupid now. my brains turned to mush!” and then they just believe him and completely let their guard down. I love it

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do you support the war in vietnam?

ma’am this is a John Lennon/Paul McCartney erotica blog

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i don’t spend a lot of time on this wretched website anymore bc every time i open the app it freezes for like a minute every couple posts and i don’t have that kind of patience

perhaps this is a blessing

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fucking lol

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masterpost of spongebob moments that dealt psionic damage to my 7 year old self (absolutely non-comprehensive)

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a mother piping plover on massachusetts’s plum island plumps her feathers to provide warmth and protection to an increasing plurality of her chicks, giving new meaning to the phrase “a bird in the bosom”. photo by michael milicia

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*arriving at the club*

my girlfriend: do you promise you wont turn into an inaccurate 1800s reconstruction of iguanodon this time

me: i promise

me 3 drinks later:

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it’s honestly so toxic to leave a desirable object under a box propped up by a stick

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consider this: wheelchairs should be free

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one time this nondescript guy came into my dunkin donuts and ordered a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot, and for some reason that peculiar order stuck with me so much that when, seven months later, i saw him in the parking lot walking towards the door, i quickly made a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot. he ordered it and i was already holding it. 

i would describe his demeanor that second time as “incredulous”

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When I was little I wanted to be Italian REALLT badly bc I loved the movie cars and specifically had a crush on this fucking THING

Which doesn’t speak English at all, all it’s line are in Italian and it’s name is GUIDO. And everyone knew I was obsessed with Italy in elementary school but they didn’t know why bc I, even as a young autistic child, had the sense to know this was a rightfully so, highly mockable thing. So I would read about cars on IMDB and then one day someone posted a crackfic on the message boards there and it was about this guy getting drunk and beating his wife, and it snapped me out of my fugue long enough to realize how absurd wanting to be Italian was, but then it made me cry really hard and my parents were like ‘hey what the fuck’ and I didn’t have the chutzpah to admit anything so I told them I saw a naked lady online and then they went into the computer and found all the weird south park midi songs I downloaded on lime wire and I thought they were literally going to kill me for about two weeks.