doing-something-scary

[doing-something-scary]

I'm so lonely it's killing me

[doing-something-scary]

you know what doesn’t matter? what other people are eating. seriously. stop. just because your friend karen got a salad does not mean you shouldn’t have the pizza. order that fucking pizza and do not for a second think you’re worth any less than her

[doing-something-scary]

when your life means more than the size of your body I promise your whole world is going to change

[doing-something-scary]

you don’t need to punish your body in order to get out difficult feelings

[doing-something-scary]

You deserve love. You deserve good energy. You deserve to be surrounded by people who love you. You deserve to love who you are. You deserve to be at peace.

[doing-something-scary]

fyi there is no such thing as “getting back on track” after the holidays because you were never “off track” you were simply living life because you are a human being and you deserve that

[doing-something-scary]

you don’t need to punish your body in order to get out difficult feelings

[doing-something-scary]

You deserve love. You deserve good energy. You deserve to be surrounded by people who love you. You deserve to love who you are. You deserve to be at peace.

[doing-something-scary]

fyi there is no such thing as “getting back on track” after the holidays because you were never “off track” you were simply living life because you are a human being and you deserve that

[doing-something-scary]

I'm gonna be honest with you guys so I havent done this in a while but I threw up today It wasn't anything on my meal plan but obviously alot of my relatives that aren't aware of the whole situation got me chocolate for Christmas I decided to keep one bar and give the rest away so tonight I'd eaten everything on my meal plan and decided I wanted some chocolate as an extra because the only time I've ever had chocolate since I've started recovery has been instead of a snack and I broke off the typical 'serving' size written on the corner of the packet and ate it I enjoyed it and it tasted delicious but then the thoughts started coming in I immediately regretted my decision to eat the chocolate and felt guilty for eating it but then I felt guilty about feeling guilty about eating it the first thing that popped into my mind was to self harm I haven't cut myself in a while and I have a blade stashed in a draw that I don't intend to use but simply have it there for comfort I wanted to cut myself but then I thought about how I'd get in trouble if I did that and how I don't actually want to cut myself so then I opted for the next option my sister was downstairs parents out brother in his room I went to the bathroom and threw up the chocolate I ate and it's so frustrating the chocolate was literally just 187 calories and I need to be gaining weight anyway so it would be helping me get better but I just couldn't do It I'm so annoyed at myself for throwing it up

[doing-something-scary]

i will learn to treat my body with love and respect

[doing-something-scary]

We did it! 

[doing-something-scary]

I saw that my phone was distracting me from eating, so I put it down. I can’t avoid what’s on my plate forever. 

[doing-something-scary]

I was wondering if you could do a daily routine? Include what you eat and what time you wake up and go to bed?

OK well before I start I just want to say meal plans are tailored to each and every person so if mine is slightly different to yours please do not panic

OK so I usually wake up about 7 8 if I'm feeling lazy so that I can actually fit everything in on my meal plan so breakfast is normally a bowl of cerial I lean towards rice crispies are my fave and a glass of organic orange juice (some is packed with sugar not good for you teeth at all)

I walk 20 minutes to school thought I should add that in because of exercise reasons if Ive lost any weight that week I'm not allowed to walk to school tho

Mid morning snack is usually a full fat yoghurt or chocolate bar if Ive forgotten to buy yoghurts my parents always have chocolate in the house

Not allowed to do PE in school so that is skipped

Luch at 1:20 which is a boring sandwich and packet of crisps (usually a tesco meal deal bought on the way to school) on weekends I'd have a prepared lunch but I'm in school most the week so I just included these days

Home time and walk back from school after noon snack apple cut up (the cut up bit is very important)

I'm allowed to do half an hour of dance monitored without an extra snack but again if I've lost weight that isn't allowed I do this most days but obviously if there's no one to watch me I can't do it

Dinner is whatever my family is having so that is different every day but my family do make homemade food

Pudding if my parents have prepared anything but if they haven't it isn't necessary

Then last but not least at 9 o'clock I have a hot chocolate to get me ready for bed at 10

I hope this is sorta what you wanted to know

[doing-something-scary]

Boy here! Your URL is a fucking lie and stop trying to rope me and people like me into this!

I'm confused

[doing-something-scary]

hi, there is no correlation between your weight & your worth

[doing-something-scary]

things you need calories for:

solving equations or writing poems

to fight for things you care about

keeping yourself warm

to sleep well at night and stay awake during the day

to be happy