You don’t have to be perfect all the time to be worthy of love - you don’t have to earn it in a way that contradicts your own humanity. I’m sorry someone made you feel that way, like you can never accomplish anything unless you are perfect in every way, that you must alway have your guard up and walk on eggshells to please everyone around you so they would deem you worthy of success, of respect, of love, of companionship.
When those basic needs are neglected, you start to believe you haven’t done enough to earn them, and you fall into a spiral trying to please someone who can’t be pleased. But I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to earn these things in the first place, that being imperfect doesn’t make you an unacceptable and inadequate person, it doesn’t make you unlovable. The person who treated you this way was never deserving of your own love, of your desperate attempts to please them. It’s on them, not on you.
The expectations they put on you were so unreachable for any human being, and you were deemed to fail, but not because you were always a failure. They were always so demanding that no one, not even themselves, could reach the desired level of perfection and pleasing behavior they asked of you. It was absolutely unfair for them to do so. And most of all, none of this was your fault. It’s not your behavior that was unacceptable - it was theirs.
You’re not unlovable. And even if their voice echoes through your head a lot repeating those awful things they made you believe about your own worth, I hope you can try to contradict them. You are finding your own voice now, one that tells you that you’re still worthy of love because you’re a human being, just like everyone else, and every person deserves respect and kindness. And slowly, hopefully, we can shift that belief in our inadequacy into one that is kinder and more confident in who we are, because even with all our flaws, we’re not unworthy of love.
i got your back bestie
[ID: marker art of a capybara with a chicken standing on its back paired with messy handwritten text that reads "Even when things are tough i've got your back we'll get through this together" in all caps. The capybara is coloured in orange with green and red texture, and is sitting on its haunches. The chicken on its back is a black naked neck rooster. The background of the art is white, and the artist's signature reads @ watercolourcritters. End ID.]
Instagram | Etsy
ive been watching a lot of mental health vids today and i got to thinking while talking to a friend..... i think a good way to balance self deprecating and self enabling tendencies is to mostly acknowledge that thoughts are...just that. thoughts!! esp w self deprecation, a healthy way to deal w that is to take a step back and examine the negative feelings u have abt urself. and then u just shrug ur shoulders and say, "so what?"
- feeling stupid? so what, ur still smart enough to acknowledge there are things u need to improve!
- feeling ugly? so what, the only people who will actually call u that to ur face are elementary school bullies. (if there are ppl who do that aren't in elementary school, resorting to criticizing you over things you can't control makes them no better than an elementary achool bully.)
- feeling generally undesirable? so what, there are plenty of ppl out there who are willing to deal with what u personally consider mediocrity!
as for self-enabling tendencies, i think a good way to handle them would be......smthn like, "will this actively contribute to my satisfaction in life, or just give me a brief hit of dopamine?"
whether it's food (esp stuff u know will leave u on the toilet later from issues like lactose intolerance or things particularly aggravating for ur ibs), impulse purchases, or saying smthn rude in the moment you will later regret (i know i need to work on this on the rare occasion im irrationally angry LMAO), u need to think stuff like:
- will this food item make me feel better after eating it, or do i know from prior experience that it makes me feel sick?
- will this purchase be smthn i will display in my home or wear or use often and be happy about seeing every day, or will i leave it to rot in the closet or garage or basement?
- is this comment something this person needs to hear for their own wellbeing, or will it just upset them and make us both spiral into a pointless argument?
obviously recovery is a long, arduous road. but it's all worth it in the end to feel better abt urself and others. u deserve to feel that. i don't want any comments or reblogs abt how "oh this applies to everyone but me": actually, it ESPECIALLY applies to you. believing you're not worthy of basic positive experiences in life is, in fact, a very harmful form of self deprecation.
i don't care how "toxic" of a person you think you are. truly toxic people don't care about the negative effect they have on others whatsoever. they don't dwell on whether they're good people or not. meanwhile, good people make an attempt to get better. sometimes, maybe even often, they will falter, and it's natural. it's natural to make mistakes. it's natural to relapse on occasion. again, the road to recovery is tough. but i promise that you deserve good things. 💚💚
screenshot this post, print it out, set it as ur lockscreen, whatever you need to do to remind urself that you're worthy and deserving of love - whether it's from others, or yourself.
You are allowed to interact with your abuser as little as possible. You are allowed to hide. You are allowed to save your energy. You are allowed to lie to them, or not tell them the whole truth. You are allowed to cut them off. You are allowed to be afraid and cautious. You are allowed to do anything you can to protect yourself. It's not wrong. It's not cowardly. It's a matter of safety.
Anon she has Euphoria prep and whole other things to do😭She's staying until the end of march at least
We ain’t trying to hear about Euphoria until the end of September. This is RRR time.
Been absent on here as I nurse an injured shoulder back to health. Honestly haven’t felt like sharing or being on social much at all. The injury in my shoulder is a bit of a mystery and didn’t happen while working out. I simply lifted a large bag into a car and something felt like it stretched or tore causing severe pain. The pain is not constant and only occurs with certain movements really hampering my range of motion and activities. No lifting or workouts the past 3 weeks due to the pain and fear of making it worse.
Initial X-rays showed no signs of bone or joint damage so doctors suspect a soft tissue tear or ligament/tendon strain at the moment. Time to heal and recover is currently the suggested treatment which could take 10 to 14 months!! Not what I wanted to hear and disappointed for sure. Needless to say physical work and progress has stopped and will remain very limited. It’s a mental and recovery game now. I’ve been through it before and I’ll get through it again but still can’t help but be a bit bummed.
ok well im going to build a good future for myself whether i like it or not