if u can’t find your man it’s cuz he’s at my house watching the cdf movie
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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Larten & Darren aesthetics
I open shuffles twice a year and it consumes my entire life every time
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Hello!
Here’s another AU fanart. I will be honest as a child I never noticed that the characters are without culture but looking back on it it’s very much there XD
If the books were set in actual places where do you think they would be set?
As a child I always thought that the first book was definitely set in the UK but the rest I was never sure. Maybe you could put the mountain in Eastern Europe or Central Asia.
I’m Eastern European so I decided to make some character design for them in vaguely our clothes. It was very fun to draw.
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been on tiktok too much
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insane how mr crepsley meant so much to darren he was the last thing he thought of BOTH times when he died
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ShanTober Day 21 - Arra
Another off-prompt with the nectar to males herself!
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Tagged by @mikaverleth 🖤
LAST SONG: don’t bring me down by electric light orchestra
FAVOURITE COLOUR: pink and red 💘🍒
CURRENTLY WATCHING: the walking dead (i literally always am), drag race, and shogun
LAST MOVIE: lost in translation and marriage story. i love you and your unfulfilling marriages scarlett johansson
SWEET/SPICY/SAVOURY: all of the above. i don’t discriminate🍬
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single but i am in a parasocial relationship with this beautiful man who works in my building. he’s so hot. just wanted to share that.
CURRENT OBSESSIONS: vampire the masquerade: bloodlines, possums (i feed them), and cosmopolitans🍸
LAST THING I GOOGLED: i model for a local business occasionally so i looked up the website to see if my pics were uploaded
TAG: i tag all of you. if you follow me i tag you.
nine people I want to get to know better 💌
got tagged by @ruohosta-nauttija. thanks! ❤️
LAST SONG? aavikkoo by pariisin kevät
FAVORITE COLOR? black
CURRENTLY WATCHING? unelmahäät
LAST MOVIE? i honestly don't remember 🙈
SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY? spicy i guess
RELATIONSHIP STATUS? in a relationship
CURRENT OBSESSIONS? i don't feel obsessed about anything at the moment and i'm sure that's one of the reasons why i feel so tired all the time
LAST THING YOU GOOGLED? "r code strings as factors"
i'm tagging @naapurinkissa @ketsuppia @vaakkuna @samaeljigoku @karvoja @kassaneiti @enkeksiapua @kizutin @enkelipoeka
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today, i offer you an unfunny steve meme.
tomorrow, who knows......
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most unrealistic part of cdf/slc is all the human lovers who don't wanna become vampires for their vampires lovers.
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chat is this normal
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thinking about larten crepsley💓🎀✨💘
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𝕭𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕭𝖎𝖌 𝕿𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊 ™️ 𝖆 𝖊 𝖘 𝖙 𝖍 𝖊 𝖙 𝖎 𝖈 𝖘
♛ ☮︎ ☀︎
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Every Cirque Du Freak Character Ranked By Their Likelihood of Having An Affair With My Wife
Hello everyone. I have reason to believe that my wife Susan is participating in a sexual affair with one of the characters from Darren Shan’s Saga of Darren Shan. She’s starting keeping IV bags of blood in the fridge, won’t stop talking about when the next Festival of the Undead is, and I found a ticket for the Cirque Du Freak hidden in the bottom of her underwear drawer.
It’s been tough to narrow down the suspect but I think I’ve finally got the definitive list here, ranked from least to most likely to be having an affair with my wife.
26. Madam Octa
Pretty self-explanatory. She’s a spider. And very faithful to her spider boyfriend, if what Seba tells me is true.
25. Sam Grest

He’s like, 12, so that would be pretty messed up. Plus, my wife always says she wishes I wasn’t so childish and immature, so I can’t see how she’d find any appeal in Sam.
24. R.V.
The hook hands might make things difficult. I haven’t noticed any cuts on my wife’s body, but to be fair I haven’t seen her undressed in about five years so I can’t be completely sure.
23. Harkat

My beautiful sweet angel Harkat would NEVER do that to me. He’s also completely lacking genitals, which makes it pretty hard to fuck my wife, I think.
22. Kurda Smahlt

Come on. We all know what team he plays for.
21. Seba Nile
I think Seba’s years of having sex are long over. I can’t even imagine it. It’s like imagining your grandfather having sex. Ew. Get that thought out of my head NOW!
20. Darren Shan

I don’t think Darren’s got that dog in him. Besides, he’s pretty busy saving the entire vampire clan and also being a Prince at 30 years old. When would he even have the time?
19. Paris Skyle
He’s pretty old like Seba, but he does have that spry young energy in him. He might want one last romp in the hay before he kicks the bucket, so I can’t completely rule him out.
18. Evra Von
I don’t fully trust the snake. He gives the vibe that he and Merla might like a third in their bed sometimes. Which is funny because when I asked my wife if we could have a threesome with her hot 22-year-old coworker she said no and didn’t speak to me for a week. Seems kind of hypocritical, Susan.
17. Debbie Hemlock
Since Debbie’s an English teacher her and my wife would probably bond over reading books or something boring like that. I don’t mind Debbie fucking my wife if it means I get to stop hearing about whatever shitty new book Colleen Hoover has released.
16. Arrow

I can definitely imagine Arrow and my wife having a beautiful and brief “Bridges of Madison County” type affair while I’m away on a work trip. He’s such a good guy that I can’t even be too mad about it.
15. Hibernius Tall

It’s always the tall skinny guys that are packing the baseball bats.
14. Gavner Purl
I don’t think Gavner’s morals would allow him to sleep with my wife. However, I fully believe they would have an emotional affair over the course of a few years. He’d tell her she reminded him of his ex-girlfriend, talk about his tragic backstory, and she’d fall in love with how “vulnerable” and “sensitive” he is. News flash!He’s never getting over Liz! You’re just a placeholder!
13. Annie Shan
Annie’s a single mother and emotionally unstable from a lifetime of trauma. Prime candidate for having an affair.
12. Alice Burgess
How could I possibly compete against a lesbian in a police uniform? This might be pretty hot, actually. I wonder if they’d let me watch.
11. Desmond Tiny
They wouldn’t outright sleep together, but just look at what happened with Darren and Steve’s moms. If my wife ends up pregnant, I’m definitely getting a paternity test.
10. Tanish Eul
I know he’s disgustingly unattractive and a cowardly asshole, but I can’t rule him out. She married me after all, so it’s possible she has a type. She also came home last week with a Dior bag and some Louboutins that we definitely can’t afford, so it’s possible they have some sort of sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement.
9. Vanez Blane
My wife passed her Trials a few years ago and yet she still goes to “training sessions” with Vanez every Tuesday and Thursday. Seems suspicious.
8. Vancha March

Yeah, he’s disgusting and ill-mannered. But he’s also jacked and can spit some pretty serious game. And my wife currently has a UTI, and if anyone’s gonna be responsible for that it’s Vancha.
7. Evanna
She’s got the whole rope bondage outfit AND can transform her appearance. All she needs to do is change herself into Dr. House and my wife is as good as hers.
6. Wester Flack
I mean, we all know what he did to Larten. Cough, Alicia, cough. Do I really think he would respect the sanctity of my marriage?
5. Gannen Harst
He’s hot as hell and has that quiet stocism that women love. I suppose since the vampaneze can’t tell lies I could just ask him, but I don’t know if I’m ready to hear the truth.
4. Mika Ver Leth
Mika would definitely fuck my wife and not even think twice about it. I guess I’m not really allowed to complain about it because he’s a Prince and could easily have me thrown on the stakes in the Hall of Death. You win this time, Sire Mika.
3. Larten Crepsley

He’s dashingly handsome and has that timeless Quicksilver charm that the ladies all fall for. But my wife is still alive, unlike every other woman Larten’s been involved with.
2. Arra Sails

Arra would have zero qualms about cheating. We know for a fact she’s all about being “passionate in the coffin” and she quite literally asked Larten when Alicia was going to die so she could fuck him. The only reason she’s second on the list and not first is because I can’t imagine her having a positive interaction with another woman.
1. Steve Leonard

Is this even a question? Obviously it’s Steve. He got his best friend’s teenage sister pregnant and took off. He’s probably inside my wife right now, telling her what a loser I am and they’re both laughing about it. Fuck you, Steve.
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something poetic about mr crepsley "killing" darren after blooding him. paralyzing him, breaking his neck, digging his body back up after watching his funeral from afar, and that symbolizing the end of darrens first life. the end of his past family. he's entirely mr crepsley's now. his assistant. his son. his blood.
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•insp. by @dominiquethevampire’s fc•
🧛🏻♂️⚰️🩸🎪🕸️🕷️
Concept: Jeremy Irons starring as former General, former Prince-Elect, part-time circus clown, Mr. Larten “Vur Horston” “Quicksilver” Crepsley.
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just a cdf blog for fanart and funny posts.
ran by @thepavi and @lucilargo
↓ join the cirque du freak discord server! ↓
🎪 BUY YOUR TICKETS HERE IF YOU DARE 🎟️
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