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Oh Atlanta, How I Love You

This is for anyone who lives in or near Atlanta, Georgia, has ever lived in Atlanta, has ever visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who already lives in Atlanta, or knows anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta. I've lived here my whole life, so I can assure you it's true.

Also, It's pronounced, "At-lanna". The ONLY people who pronounce it, "At-lan-TA" are affiliated with the Olympics or from out of town.

Getting Around  

The joke about Atlanta is that all streets are named Peachtree. Not true, only 71 streets are, and many of them intersect with one another.

*Most Popular: Peachtree Circle Peachtree Place Peachtree Lane Peachtree Road Peachtree Parkway Peachtree Run Peachtree Terrace Peachtree Avenue Peachtree Commons Peachtree Battle Peachtree Corners New Peachtree Old Peachtree West Peachtree Peachtree-Dunwoody Peachtree-Chamblee Peachtree Industrial Boulevard

Most directions start or end with, "Go down Peachtree" and may include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." except in Cobb County , where all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken".

Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions, we will always send you down some variation of Peachtree.

Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is " pawntz duh LEE-awn." And yes, we have a street named simply, "Boulevard."

I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta which has a posted speed limit of 55 mph but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over. And it's under perpetual construction. Don't believe the directional markers on highways: I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going North or South. The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer Loop ."

If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.

Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, and your AK-47 has a full clip.

Possums/opossums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules. If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. The local channels have the meteorologists take over all broadcasting to track the storm. They will broadcast the missed programming at 2:00AM. Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke's all we drink here (except for my Aunt Jean who will forever be a Pepsi girl) so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. Even if you want something other than a Coca-Cola, it's still called Coke.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.🐍

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple no one has seen before.🕷

If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites. If you notice a vine trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have about 30 seconds to escape, before you are completely captured and covered with Kudzu.

Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2 years old.

Common Expressions

•Jeet? -Did you eat? •How's Momma-nem - How's Mother and all of the other children and other members of the family doing? • Bless your heart - A phrase used to express empathy; when used sarcastically, an insult •Y’all - Contraction of ‘you all’ • “Hissy fit” -
Dramatic loss of one’s temper • Fixin’ to - Preparing to do something • Bad-mouth -Talk negatively about •Three sheets to the wind -Drunk •Too big for his britches - Taking oneself too seriously •Hold your horses -Be patient. •Fit to be tied - Very angry or upset •Cute as a button -Adorable, charming •Don’t get your feathers ruffled- Don’t let it bother you. •Preaching to the choir -
Making a point to someone who agrees with your position •Pot calling the kettle black -
Guilty of the same thing you’re accusing the other of •Sweatin’ like a sinner in church- Sweating profusely • Fat as a tick -Full after a good meal •Pitching a fit -Causing commotion about something •Stinks to high Heaven -
Of poor quality, not desirable in the least

I’ve lived in Atlanta my entire life, maybe I’ll live here in the next as well....

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Sometimes the song title and real life mesh perfectly

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I Chose To Leave

I chose to leave Months after I made the biggest commitment of my adult life I chose to leave You remember knowing something was different You felt it in every part of you but You didn't know to trust what you felt Quite the contrary You imagined yourself crazy You watched him with me how he looked at me, took your breath away but you were sure I would be honest with you After all I had promised at the very least to never lie to you So you told yourself to let it go you told yourself that you were just being insecure You made yourself look away when you knew what was going on And instead of asking the woman who crawled into bed with you every evening if she was leaving You went cold on the inside while faking romance desperately trying to recreate what used to be It's a sick, self inflicted torture to pretend you are okay being lied to because it makes a liar out of you You became a liar with me, acting like all was okay when the truth was, you were far away slipping into such darkness there were many a nights you wished the sun would never come up It was your first day off in weeks and you had so looked forward to sleeping in It had been a month of 15 hour days and everything hurt You had imagined you would wake rested to have a day off with me, a day where you didn't have to make things happen a day that would make everything okay But instead you woke to the slamming of the front door and you rushed to the window just in time to see me leave It was your first day off in weeks and I was leaving You sat at home for hours waiting It was late evening when I returned I had been planning what I was going to say since I left, I had rehearsed it over and over I was going to be loving and clear soft and sweet as I knew you would want me to be But as you approached me the words came out harsh... "Are you with HIM" I burst into tears "Don't say his name" I heard myself whisper And as I got up to walk away I just collapsed I remember hitting the floor I remember my eyes closing and knowing I was still there but hoping like I did when I was a little girl that if I closed my eyes, no one could see me Some moments change you quite literally This moment fractured me And I can see how even so many months later it has a home in me And how it shapes the way I see how it impacts the way I feel And I have to remind myself I am not that girl anymore I am not the girl who swallows truths and sleeping pills just to get through the night I am not the girl who uses sex to fake intimacy to keep who no longer has time for me I am not the girl who laughs when she really wants to cry or the girl who doesn't trust her own body when it’s screaming Pay attention to me I am just not that girl anymore And while yes, this has shaped impacted and informed you it should never define you because you are not who you used to be Sometimes we need to be reminded of who we are Sometimes that happens in gracious and celebratory ways Sometimes it happens in painful and heart shattering ways But as far as I can tell... What matters most is not what happened but how you let it change you And that is what we actually have authority over We cannot control other people We cannot make everything be just so But we can learn to be with ourselves no matter what happens And we can choose how we want to move forward who we want to be how we want to be We always have that And that is what’s most interesting to me Alchemy Where you turn even the darkest of muck into the mightiest of trees Where all the hurt becomes liquid gold in your veins This is how we keep going without going numb This is how we ensure we keep feeling without breaking This is how we get stronger wiser and softer This is how we don’t just deal but heal