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donqvounq-blog · 7 years ago

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Jaehyun messed it all up, big time.

He had so much stuff to do, paperwork kept being stocked higher and higher on his desk as time ticked by, and he believed they were better worked on than being stared at, but Jaehyun did the latter nonetheless.

He glanced at his finger. The gold band embracing his slim fingers glowed as the streak of light from the office lights hit the object in question, the one thing that reminded him of everything he impulsively did in the past weeks.

“I think this is all wrong.”

He read his reply to Johnny that night. His thoughts didn’t change anyway. He still thought this was wrong, completely and absolutely not correct. Yeri was a kind, gorgeous lady and Jaehyun was more than glad he got to be together with her. She was there when he was down, there when he was wrecked, there when he was alone, but despite all of those, Jaehyun couldn’t make himself love her the way he wanted to. His heart was still stucked in the past, still beating for the same guy. He tried everything to forget him, to move on, to close all the wounds and to start anew with Yeri. He thought it worked the last three years. He thought he was ready to start over, and that was what he did. Three weeks ago, he proposed to Yeri, putting a ring on her delicate fingers and his. He was ready to begin again, to start fresh. He knew time heals all wounds, and he believed he had enough time for it to do the job, but man was he wrong?

He swiped his screen and went to his conversation with Jeno. It was still left at ‘delivered’. The panic devours him, still unable to comprehend the last message the kid had sent him. He anticipated for this day to come anyway. He knew Jeno would soon leave him, and he knew better than to keep him. The question still lingers on his mind, why he couldn’t let him go.

Jeno was one of the two orphans he met on a social science trip back in college. He and the other one were their foster children for the whole semester for the project, treating them as if they were one of their own. Needless to say, Jaehyun fell in love with the two. Even when the project was long done, he still went for usual visits on the two orphans. In his heart, Jeno and Jaemin were his own children, and so he and his boyfriend decided to adopt them. That sounded ridiculous, two college men adopting children already, but they were capable anyway of being a foster parent. Their shared unit was huge anyway and Jeno and Jaemin could definitely live with them. His boyfriend’s father was influential, so he was able to give the two a scholarship in SM University for their whole highschool years. Everything was happy back then. They lived like a real family, although insisting the two of them being called “hyung” instead of “appa”.

But everything fell apart during their last year in college.

Jaehyun was an intern for his last year. He was working on a company far away from SM University, so he had to move out of their shared unit temporarily. The long distance away from his boyfriend and Jeno and Jaemin stressed him non-stop, and he didn’t know if he could last for six months.

Needless to say, Jaehyun drowned himself with a lot of work he couldn’t have enough rest for himself. He’s up at work from eight in the morning until eleven in the evening most of the times, and he’d go home feeling extremely exhausted he’s down on his bed the moment he entered his room. He got an annoying boss as well so all this internship thing turned into a hell hole into an instant.

Time went by and all Jaehyun became for the past weeks and months was a total wreckage. He lost in touch with everyone, his boyfriend, Jeno, Jaemin, and literally occupy himself with every piece of task he was assigned to do. He hadn’t had his phone checked for a long time, the last thing he remembered was a chain of messages from his boyfriend. He can vaguely picture the last of it as “this is getting ridiculous.”

Jaehyun had never rested, that’s why when his boyfriend decided to breakup, he was so tired he didn’t try anymore and just agreed. That’s why he was not surprised when he came home to an empty unit after his internship was finished. It was when he realized why he was always tired, because Doyoung was his rest, but he always ignored him. He thought being silent was good, but he was wrong. Silence is not golden, will never be. That’s how he ended up in his room, alone and stressed, being twice as exhausted as he was the past six months. He was dumb. Maybe he had to talk to Doyoung and make up with him, or maybe he just had to apologize.

The next thing he remembered, he was calling an Uber. But there was a problem, he didn’t know his whereabouts.

He tried to call him, but the tables had turned. It was Doyoung who was ignoring him now. Funny that it made him annoyed, frustrated, sad. Doyoung must had been feeling this the whole time. He tried and tried until his phone was almost dead. Well, it was his fault he didn’t charge it back home.

He was long out of the cab already, now just walking by casually on Seoul streets. He wanders off, not knowing where to go, letting his feet take him wherever they take him. Later on, he passed by a restaurant. He saw a familiar figure, sitting on the side of the stairs outside the premise, sitting on a cardboard and wearing rugged, winter clothes. Jaehyun hurried himself to the person, eyes of sorrow and pain directed toward him.

“Jeno!”

“Jaehyun-hyung!” he saw how his eyes once full of darkness brightened up upon his appearance. “I have waited for you. I know you’ll come back.”

“Why are you here? Have you eaten already?” Jaehyun wanted to throw a lot of questions but he decided to brush all those off for now. “Nevermind. I’ll take you home right now.”

“Where are Doyoung and Jaemin?” Jaehyun let out his thoughts. Jeno had already eaten a meal, taken a long, warm shower, and now wearing fresh clothes that were two sizes larger since those were Jaehyun’s.

“I have no idea,” was the answer he didn’t want to get, but he expected it nonetheless. “I tried to tell them not to leave, to wait for you, but Doyoung hyung didn’t listen. Doyoung wanted me to go with him, but I stayed and waited for you. Thank you for coming back. Even though it was a month after, I’m still happy.”

“How about your education? Are you still going to school?”

“Doyoung hyung kept my scholarship, but after the two of you broke up, I felt lost. I wasn’t doing well academically, and since they left, I didn’t go to school anymore.”

Jaehyun couldn’t help but put the blame to himself. Jeno wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to live the best life, but all he did was give him misery.

“Jeno, I’m sorry,” Jaehyun broke down and let the tears and emotion that had bottled up for the past months flow. “I should not have occupied myself with all those shits. I should have made time for the three of you. I’m such a bad person, you don’t deserve me.”

Jeno didn’t know what to do. He had never seen Jaehyun cry, so he just locked him in his embrace, shushing him with words of comfort.

“Don’t be sorry Jaehyun hyung.”

“Let’s find Doyoung and Jaemin. I owe them an apology.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jaehyun raised an eyebrow at Jeno’s reply. He asked why, but looking at the way Jeno fidgeted, what’s about to come wasn’t a good thing.

“Doyoung hyung was always worried about you. He was always waiting for your respond that he spent most of his times looking at his phone. He skipped a lot of meals, and classes. After he failed five of his classes, he decided you just don’t care about him anymore, so he decided to text you to break up to test the waters. But you agreed and I never saw him that sad.”

Jaehyun just stared at Jeno, feeling speechless and unable to form any words.

“Doyoung hyung failed classes so now he had to retake them next semester. He can’t graduate this semester.”

Jaehyun’s shoulders slumped down as he heard those words come out from Jeno. Doyoung was an achiever and a top student as well. It must have been humiliating in his part that he had failed because of him and that he would graduate late because of him. Maybe Jeno was right. It really would not be a good idea to see Doyoung, or have Doyoung see him. Maybe right now was the best time to do what he had done in those six months he was away.

“Maybe it’s time for me to go,” Jeno excused himself after staying with Jaehyun for a while. The older stopped him nonetheless.

“No. I promised to be a good brother to both you and Jaemin. I have failed you for these past times. Now, let me make up for it. You’ll stay with me.”

Maybe that’s why he couldn’t let go of Jeno right now. He was the only person left from his past, the only one that reminded him of how happy he used to be. Maybe he couldn’t let go of Jeno because he reminded him of Doyoung, and that’s probably why he wanted Jeno to stay.

But he had decided for himself. Jaehyun couldn’t do anything.

The stress from everything started to build up, and Jaehyun might have cried that night. All the paperwork, the wedding, Yeri, Jeno, Doyoung, all of which are bugging his mind right now.

Maybe Johnny was right. He needed to rest, to have some breath of fresh air for once. So he did what he had never done his whole work life. He filed a resignation paper. That was after he completed all the paperwork of course. He was in misery because of this shit. Time for him to let it go.

Now he just couldn’t wait to hang out with his bros tomorrow.

“Wow he really did that?” Mark’s eye widened at the shot of good news Johnny has brought him. “I’m sorry but Jaehyun and resigning don’t belong in the same sentence.”

“Well what done has been done,” Johnny said as a matter of fact. “Plus it’s good for him. He was shit and all because of that job of his.”

“Touché,” Mark nodded.

Not long after, the door of the café creaked open and Mark saw Jaehyun entered. He waved at him so he can acknowledge their presence and Jaehyun made a beeline to their table.

“Jaehyun bro!” Mark was the first to greet.

“Long time no see,” Johnny added as Jaehyun took a seat. “But I think we will see each other more often now.”

“Wait did you really resign?”

“Well Mark, yes,” Jaehyun replied. Mark still looked confused though. “I had been shitty my whole life because of work, so now I let it go.”

“Good,” was what only came out from Mark.

“Where is Lucas anyway?” noticing the absence of the other, Jaehyun was quick to ask.

“Oh. Jungwoo is here too surprisingly. So you know,” Johnny shrugged as he answered the other’s query. Mark just chuckled after mouthing “boyfriend duties” in between Johnny’s sentence.

“Oh,” Jaehyun nodded. “I want to see him.”

After that, the three of them left their seats and went to Jungwoo’s table. Johnny’s right. Lucas was seated beside someone, but still he was able to notice Jaehyun’s presence.

“Jaehyun, you’re here!” Lucas was quick to stand up, arms leaving the shoulder of the person who he supposed was Jungwoo.

“Are you Jungwoo?” Jaehyun ignored Lucas walking to his side to ask out his curiosity. The person in question raised his eyebrows, not expecting a question to be directed to him.

“Yes. I’m Jungwoo,” he replied with the cutest smile Jaehyun had ever seen. Well, second cutest.

“And I’m Ten! Hello!” the other man in front of Jungwoo introduced himself, waving his hands in the process. Jaehyun offered them his nicest smile.

“I’m Jaehyun. Nice to meet the both of you. Anyway I have a question.”

“Is it a habit of you to ask questions to people you just met?” Ten wondered and Jaehyun felt a little embarrassed. The other three men behind him were stifling a chuckle, but Jaehyun didn’t care at all.

“Well, yeah,” he scratched the back of his neck. “But anyway you guys are friend with that wedding planner guy right?”

Jaehyun didn’t what was wrong with what he said, but Jungwoo’s face definitely fell from his question. Nevertheless he replied.

“Yes we are,” Jungwoo replied flatly. Something must have been going on between the two, but it was out of his business right now,

“Good. Can you tell me his name?”

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” Mark was quick to react. “Won’t that be against Yeri’s punishment for you?”

“Well I’m finding it out myself so I think it is fine,” Jaehyun shrugged, eyes still focused at Jungwoo. The latter sighed dramatically, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“We are not in good terms right now so I didn’t like it that I’m being reminded of him right now,” Jungwoo shook his head, but again it was not of Jaehyun’s business so he didn’t care. “But you’ll find it out sooner anyway so I guess it won’t hurt to tell you.”

Jaehyun nodded, putting up two thumbs up at Jungwoo’s reply.

“Well the planner’s name was Doyoung,” Jaehyun blinked. “Kim Doyoung. You’re welcome.”

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donqvounq-blog · 7 years ago

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Best Thing I Never Had

His love for him is as enchanting as the music he once wrote; lyrics carefully drabbled, making sure everything was from the depths of his pure heart. His love for him is as immaculate as the white snows of their first winter together; fingers laced together, letting no one go. His love for him is as precious as the sea on dawn; the striking sight which caught him off guard, he felt the same looking at his fair complexion.

His love for him, his well-kept secret of affection, his admiration he would never admit, he never expected him to felt the same way. He was sure this love is a song, a well-written one with perfect melody, and he just won’t sing along. He was left to hit the notes alone, as he watches him walk the aisle, holding another man’s hand, as they sync their walk to the rhythm of his song.

Doyoung and I had been roommates since God decided that one time in college that I need a company living in a dormitory. We had a rough start just like everyone else, but we turned out to be the best, inseparable friends anyone could’ve ever seen. We’re basically glued to each other.

Doyoung is the most awkward and innocent person I’ve ever met. I haven’t even realized why we’re friends considering my personality being a mile away from his. But despite our differences, I enjoy his company. He is fun to be with, and our room never felt sad since he came and became my roommate, it becomes better when we became best of friends.

Doyoung and I took the same course of financial accountancy, considering I’m a critical thinker who finds bliss in analysing and solving problems and he being from a business-oriented family. There were nights when we study together, helping each other solve difficult problems until we’re left with no choice but to cry our frustrations out, patting each other’s back and praying together for a miracle for the upcoming examinations.

Doyoung…

College had come to an end and it’s when I realized real life begins. I was anxious at first, to take my first step in life without everyone I used to be with on my side anymore. My roommates were the only people I used to get along with, but being not in the same rooms anymore, I felt afraid of the chances I’ll be alone forever. Youngho already got a job from his father’s company. Taeil got the position from the accounting firm he applied at months before, Jungwoo being together with him. Sicheng came back to China, working for his relative as their personal accountant.

Doyoung and I were the only one left unemployed, but it’s not like no one wants to hire us or anything. We had received a lot of calls recently to be honest, but we just never accepted any offer yet. Each call that I got was from different companies Doyoung got calls from, and Doyoung didn’t approve the thought of us working from different companies, much to my surprise.

“Yoonoh,” Doyoung tried to prove his point as to why he rejected every call and I was left with no choice but to listen to him. “We may not be together since childhood, but it’ll be my pleasure if we grow old together.”

It might be cheesy for the others’ ears, I don’t blame them I also laughed at it, but Doyoung’s word felt so warm and it made me feel good. It made my anxiety of being alone the least of my worries. With Doyoung by my side, I know “alone” is just another word out of my vocabulary.

It was a week after when a single company hired the both of us. Doyoung and I never bothered to have second thoughts and immediately accepted the offer since it’s the only company that actually wanted the both of us together, we’re even hired on the same department which just made things better. Doyoung was in pure bliss. “I thought we’re going unemployed the rest of our lives.”

I smiled looking at his smiles plastered on his very face. I would give everything to see this view again. “We would not if we just accepted the previous offers, y’know?”

Doyoung then glared at me, not approving the thought of what I just said. “Yoonoh!”

I shrugged.

“I told you. I rather live with you starving than to work on a grand company away from you,” his smiles beamed again. “I could never afford to think a life without my best buddy.”

Doyoung clung his arms into mine, leaning his head against my shoulder, stifling a melodic giggle that I could listen to the whole day. He was happy this way, who am I to destroy his moment.

We ended up walking the streets with Doyoung clinging on me, on our way to his favourite ice cream shop. Although he’s clueless, I know how exactly we look onto others’ point of view, but that doesn’t bother me. I might get used to it. Doyoung and I will be together for a pretty long time, I guarantee that. Not that I protest or anything, that’s good really.

“Yoonoh,” he whispered softly, but loud enough for my ears to decode. I hummed as response, still walking and facing the roads. “Please help me.”

His statement caught me off. I stopped my tracks and immediately gave him a concerned look. I asked him “With what?” with a little panic evident in my voice.

Doyoung just giggled, staring right on my face (I know I pulled a lot of funny expression but this isn’t the time to make fun of me especially when you’re in need).

“With life and stuff, y’know we’ll be together for a while and…” he paused, looking at his red Converse shoes given to him by Taeil. “… I really don’t know how to do anything- I mean, I haven’t- like…”

I held him on his shoulders with one of my hands and used the other one to pat his back. “Doyoung you’re nervous. Breathe properly, would you?”

Although he looked really hesitant at first, Doyoung complied anyways. He breathed in, and out, carefully and slowly, trying to put himself at ease.

“I have a really bad sense of decision making you know. I guess, if life comes and like, make me choose between complex things, I hope you’re on my side so I can comfortably face the consequences, like… you know… Argh I’m really bad at explaining things,” his face shows defeat. He simply buried his face between his mitten covered hands, sighed a lot a smoke of air was nearly visible. It may seem like he’s bad at explaining, but for me, I understood everything he said crystal clear. I continued walking, dragging him a little so he could follow in motion.

“If by bad decision making you mean choosing ice cream over barbeque during winter then I agree,” I respond to lighten up his mood. Doyoung’s face went up from his hands to me, gazing me with the most “deathly” glare he is ever known with. “But don’t worry, I understand you. Also, don’t worry, I’ll be by your side if any problem comes, we’ll face it together. Do you mean that way Doyoung-yah!?”

“Exactly,” his glare slowly fades and another bright smile beamed from him. Ah! This smile is more precious than anything in this world. “You really mean it?”

“Yup, I do.”

“Pinky swear?”

“Doyoung we can’t pinky swear. You’re wearing mittens,” I chuckled at the cuteness of the fluffball beside me. He threw a jab on my arms, a really painless one. But still, I acted as if the action hurt me. “But kidding aside, I promise I won’t leave your side.”

Then the melody of his soulful giggles echoed through my ears, bringing a tingling sensation inside me. My heart pounded heavily, as if I have run a kilometre without rest. The smile, that tooth-y grin of him feasts my eyes; it’s a beautiful sight that I want to always see.

“Thank you Yoonoh. I don’t feel the uncertainties anymore,” Doyoung uttered within his smiles, clinging back his self onto my right arm. Our errand to the ice cream shop continues as we simply walked together on the sidewalk. He was humming the tune of the favourite song of his, “Butterfly Girl”.

My heart has never stopped beating so hard since it started, Doyoung’s hums didn’t help either. I only wear a few layers of clothing on the coldness of the day, but with him on my side, it’s enough to keep me warm. His company is enough to keep me going in this chilly streets.

My smile didn’t leave my face the whole walk. I haven’t felt this way for a long time, and Doyoung made me this way. I want to be like this for a long time. I want to get used to this warmth he brings. I want to keep my promise of being beside him forever.

…but it won’t possibly happen.

After all, I know by heart the reason why that ice cream shop was his favourite. It was Taeyong’s.

“Doyoung, relax!”

“Yoonoh, I think I don’t want to do this.”

It was a fine, late afternoon. That was before Doyoung’s anxiety got the best of him. Right now, he’s wearing a velvet, blue turtlenecked sweatshirt paired with a coffee-colored skin-tight jeans. He’s wearing my Timberland although the cries of protests I threw at him a while ago. He was looking fine, like a five course meal, and that hair of him, styled to perfection, was definitely the final touch this perfect look ever needed.

It was 5:30 pm already, thirty more minutes before the date he had been waiting for a while, thirty minutes before his first ever date at that fancy restaurant we just talked about, thirty more minutes before his most-awaited day, and here Doyoung was having a second thought.

“What if I don’t look good enough?” he asked, uncertainty evident in his tone.

“Doyoung you looked gorgeous,” I simply replied. “I bet Taeyong will drool the moment he sees you because I would.”

“You think so?” I wanted to boost his confidence, and it seemed to work with that taint of finessed assertiveness in his voice. I simply smiled and nod, guaranteeing him with assurance. He smiled back.

“Just remember all the tips I taught you and you’ll finesse this first date. I’m sure this won’t be the last.”

With that, we were now just waiting for Doyoung’s Uber driver to come pick him up.

It’s been three weeks since Taeyong and Doyoung made known their relationship to us. Our friends congratulated them and sent them all their warmest regards. Of course, I did too.

I’d never seen Doyoung this happy, his smiles radiates brighter than the suns. I’d never seen him this happy with someone else. It hurt me a little that I’m not the reason anymore of those beautiful smiles. It hurt a little that he’d found another person who can put that beauty on his face. But as long as he’s happy, I don’t think I have the guts to break him out of that.

“Yoonoh,” from not so far, he called my name which broke me out of my reverie. I peeked from my shoulders to entertain whatever concern he had. “There’s one thing I still need to ask you.”

“I thought I answered all the essentials you need for this first date?” Doyoung looked at me with uncertainty once again. It felt like he had something to spill, but trying his hard to resist. “Come on, tell me what’s troubling you.”

“What if… what if Taeyong… what if he like,” stuttering Doyoung was not a rare occurrence, but this time was still concerning.

“Don’t worry, I won’t judge you.”

Doyoung bit his lips hard I thought it was gonna bleed. He looked away, looking on the floor before he uttered softly:

“What if Taeyong tries to kiss me?”

Doyoung’s face had never been this red. I can feel the embarrassment he’s feeling right now even if I was few feet away. I resisted the urge to laugh.

“What if he like, do that? I won’t know what to do.”

“Doyoung that’s not something you learn, y’know?”

“But still, can you like, tell me what I should do?”

I might be able to resist a laugh, but those pleading eyes are not something I’m resistant to. I heaved a sigh. I had never imagined I would actually teach such thing like this.

“You know just try to make it passionate. Cup his cheeks because I think that’s lovely. Also look into the eyes because you know it’s like pretty then just close the gap.”

“What?”

“I mean,” looking at his confused face, I knew this would be worthless as he will never understand a thing or two. “This is difficult to tell you see.”

“Then show me,” now was my turn to be confused. “Demonstrate it. I know I’ll learn better.”

I paused for a moment, looking at him just as confused as I could ever be. Doyoung was just looking innocent, probably not ingesting still what he just said.

“Okay, Doyoung what are you saying?”

“I mean just show me how it’s done and I’ll just redo it if ever.”

Doyoung moved to get closer to me and I’d never been uncomfortable. I’d had a lot of intimate moments with Doyoung but those were not as intimate as kissing. I swallowed, trying to ease the nervousness I was feeling before I asked “Are you sure?”

He nodded.

“Thirty minutes before the ceremony starts. Get yourself ready Yoonoh!”

Taeil followed suit after Youngho and Jungwoo left the room for the chapel. I was just staring at the mirror, frustrated and mad about the chaos that was my hair. I’d been styling it for the past hour but nothing comes close to how I wanted it to look. Maybe after all I don’t want to look good. Maybe after all I don’t want to be here. Maybe, just maybe.

I’m the worst at coping with stress. So bad that all I could was to break down, cry, all because of a bad hair day. Maybe after all I do want to look good. Maybe after all I do want to be here. After all this was his most special day. After all, this was Doyoung’s wedding.

“Yoonoh?” a familiar voice echoed the room after the creaks of the doors faded. Doyoung’s reflection in the mirror was godly, heavenly, like the angel he is. “Why are you still here?”

“Should be asking you that.”

“I was surprised you’re not with Taeil so I had to check you out.”

He walked closer to me, giving me a look I can just described as look of disgust.

“I looked like a mess,” I said before he did. “Bad hair day.”

“Here let me help you,” Doyoung combed my hair ever so delicately. Within just a few flicks of my pieces of hair here and there and a few sprays of the hair spray, he turned my hair into a perfect style. Always so amazing how Doyoung is good about making me look good, up until this time. “Here it’s perfect now.”

“Thank you Doyoung,” I smiled to his reflection, an obvious fake one. It didn’t get pass Doyoung.

“Yoonoh are you okay?”

Maybe I am not.

“Yes I am, don’t worry,” I stood up from my seat, turned around to look at his beautiful figure. Maybe I want to cry. “Let’s get back to the chapel Doyoung.”

“Wait!” he grabbed my arm as I was about to walk away. I didn’t look back at him. Maybe it hurts to look at him now. “I want to tell you something.”

He released his grip, but I didn’t walk away. Maybe I still want to hear what he’s about to say.

“I don’t know if you think I can’t see through you, but I know there’s something bothering you. You know you can just tell me about it, but if you don’t want to, I guess I have no more choice but to let you be.”

Maybe I am a fool.

“Anyway, thank you for literally everything. You’re the only one I can look onto and for that I’m so thankful. I just hope after today nothing will change between us.”

I just offered the best smile I could ever offer. He reciprocated with one just as sweet, before he walked away and left me behind.

Maybe, just maybe, if I ever told you what I feel, you’d be mine.

“I now pronounce the both of you married.”

The endless cheers was deafening. The applause was certainly hard to listen to. Both Doyoung and Taeyong were looking at each other with love evident in their eyes, smiling at each other like there was no tomorrow.

“You may now seal your marriage with a kiss.”

I watched as Doyoung cupped Taeyong’s cheek ever so lovingly. His thumbs caressed the skin under his eyes so delicately, eyes looking at each other with obvious sparks gleaming even far from away. They slowly closed the gap, eyes closing gradually, lips slowly touching. I feel proud of Doyoung. He had learned so much from me. I had taught him a lot. That kiss was exactly how I taught him, was exactly how we did it. Maybe I should congratulate him. But I think it’s too late now. After all, Doyoung was just the best thing I never had.

#dojae #jaedo #doyoung #jaehyun #nct #dojae week #angst

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donqvounq-blog · 7 years ago

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Prologue

“Is he going to be alright dad?”

“Hopefully son,” the doctor refrained from stroking the head of the boy lying on the hospital bed. His eyes was full of concern towards the kid. “His parents didn’t make it. I really hope he will.”

The room went silent another time. Only the beeps of the equipment inside were audible, as well as the heavy breathing the patient was unconsciously heaving. The doctor’s son went closer to the poor kid, examining the bruises and wounds he had on his face, on his limbs, on his neck.

He can’t believe something as horrible as this was possible to happen again. He already had heard a lot of car accident stories from his father, especially his mother’s, but this one held him the same.

“Yoonoh-ah!” his father called for him. Without leaving his eyes on the wounded boy, he hummed in response, sensing a slight pat on his back. “Can you do this man a favour? Can you guard this kid for a while? As much as I want to look for him, I can’t since I have more patients to look for.”

It didn’t take more than one plea for Yoonoh to agree.

“I can’t wait to finally go to Disneyland! I will meet Mickey Mouse in person and I’ll be the happiest kid ever!”

A kid, Dongyoung, was yelling gleefully with his Mickey Mouse plush toy in his grip. His parents were eyeing him on the rear-view mirror, smiling at their son as if he’s the most precious ever.

“This is the best birthday gift ever,” Dongyoung beamed his brightest smile to his parents, earning a smile in return from them. “Thank you omma, appa. You all are the best ever!”

“Everything for our bunny~” his mother squealed as his father was chuckling softly.

They were on their way to airport, bags and stuff placed in the trunk of their car. A soft and melodious song was playing on the radio, making the kid hum on the tune. Dongyoung stared at the window, watching as the raindrops trickled on the glass. It made him feel warmth although the coldness of the airconditioner made him wrap himself harder.

His father was driving their car, while his mother was sound asleep on the passenger seat. The silence made him feel drowsy. He watched as the wipers removed the waters out of the windshield, eyes following the movement of the lengthy object.

Left…

Right…

Left…

His eyelids slowly fell, almost touching each other, almost falling into deep slumber.

Left…

Right…

Left…

His sense of rhythm was almost out, vision was already blurry.

Right…

Left…

Light…

Reft…

…

…screech…

“OH MY GOD!” his father screamed out of the blue, turning the steering wheel as if their lives depended on it…

…but it really did.

A heavy truck had lost control on the road, hitting the side of their car, causing a loud thud that wakes up all of their souls.

The road was slippery. Dongyoung’s father was agitated with the steering wheel and his anxiety triggered as he closed his eyes, hearing only his mother’s screams and the tires deafening screech. A tear escaped from his eyes. Everything was blurry after a very, very, VERY loud crash.

This was his best birthday… supposed to be.

“Dad? Why is nobody coming to see him or his parents? It’s been 3 days and I still haven’t seen anyone come for him,” Yoonoh inquired as soon as his father entered the room he’s been into for three whole days. Placing the clipboard onto a nearby desk, Dr. Jung walked straight to his son and the patient he’s concerned for the most.

“I don’t know Yoonoh,” he answered honestly. “We tried to contact his relatives but it seems like they don’t even bother to respond.”

“What? That’s so evil,” he’s confused. The kid, who he learned the name is Dongyoung, probably has the most angelic feature he has ever seen in his life, of course after his mother, and he couldn’t accept the fact that his relatives were such evil jerks. Dr. Lee placed a hand on his son’s shoulder as he noticed the furrowing brows on his face.

“Don’t worry. There’s one who actually responded to us, but they’re a very, very distant cousin of his father,” a sigh of relief was heaved by the troubled son, now feeling at ease. “But it might take a week or so before they come here. They’re from overseas and you know it takes time for them to come here.”

“Don’t worry Dad, I’ll take care of him like my own big brother,” Yoonoh grinned so wide his father can count his teeth probably. He smiled in return, ruffling the boy’s hair and earning a groan from the kid.

It’s been 2 hours already, and Yoonoh had done nothing relevant but to stare at the kid on the bed. The equipment had now been lessened because Dongyoung’s health had now been improving. His face was now free from all the weird stuff and Yoonoh can fully appreciate the other’s visual.

His eyes couldn’t leave the kid’s face. Although some of the bruises and wounds were still there, Yoonoh still found Dongyoung beautiful.

A twitch of fingers left Yoonoh surprised and taken aback. Dongyoung’s eyes were opening, and Yoonoh gasped at the view.

Dongyoung was now awake.

He eyed the whole room, as if observing wherever he was right now.

“Where am I?”

This was the first time he heard his voice, and Yoonoh would be lying if he say he didn’t find it calming. Yoonoh smiled a welcoming one when the other’s gaze averted to him.

“You’re in my dad’s hospital,” he said with reassuring depth on his voice. Dongyoung just eyed him, but Yoonoh noticed the fidgeting of the other’s fingers. Seems like he’s nervous to spill out something.

“Omma and appa,” Dongyoung looked down, a frown on his face, hands clutched onto his chest, as if hoping for something. Yoonoh’s smiles dropped and pity and concern to the other replaced the emotion he displayed. “W-where’s my omma? Where’s my a-appa? Are they alright”

Yoonoh saw the tears almost escaping the other’s eyes. It hurt him to see him in this state, but Dongyoung must know, he has all the rights to know.

Yoonoh shook his head.

That was all it took before Dongyoung broke into a sobbing mess. He grabbed on his white blanket and hid himself through it. Yoonoh’s heart broke with the sound of the boy crying. He carefully walked beside the boy, carefully sat with him on his bed, and carefully locked the poor boy within his warm embrace, patting and rubbing his back as the river of tears continued on flowing from the dull eyes of the boy.

“I’m sorry Dong--”

“Why didn’t I d-die with t-them?” Dongyoung hugged back tightly, soaking the doctor’s son’s white shirt with tears. He leaned onto Yoonoh’s chest deeper as his sobs continued. “W-why do I need to stay a-alive when they are not anymore? Why c-can’t I just be d-dead too?”

Hearing the kid’s wishes of death sent shivers to Yoonoh’s spine. Of all the seven years he’s been into his dad’s hospital, everyone wishes for their lives to be healthier, to prolong longer, and to stay safe. It’s his first time hearing a death wish, and it shook him bad. Yoonoh tightened his embrace as the sobs went louder and more often.

“Don’t say that,” Yoonoh whispered sincerely, closing his eyes shut, stopping himself from the contagious tears of the other. “You’re alive for a reason.”

“I d-don’t have any-anyone anym-more. I don’t want t-to live a-alone,” Dongyoung struggled through his sobs, clutching the other’s shirt tighter in his fists. “I want to be with t-them. I wish I am d-dead too.”

“That’s not true,” Yoonoh responded solemnly, breaking their embrace and looking at Dongyoung’s face, eyes catching each other in a second. Yoonoh cuped his cheeks, wiping the tears off of his face with his thumbs, and offered him a smile full of concern. “You still have us, me, my father, and there’s still a family you can always run to. You still have people you can vent to, have fun with, and enjoy life with. You still have me Dongyoung, and I promise you won’t feel lonely at all.”

Dongyoung seemed to calm down a little as his sobs subsided not too long after. He cut the gaze as he looked between his legs. All the bruises patching his skin made him cringe. The obvious purple spots on his once smooth pale skin were everything but beautiful. All the scars and wounds scattered all over his thighs and arms were all disgusting. His jaws hurt a little and lips somehow tasted like rust. He didn’t need to look at his reflection to know he was ruined. His face was wrecked.

“My dad treated you,” Yoonoh uttered out of the blue, hands still resting onto Dongyoung’s shoulders even after their hug. “To be honest you looked way worse when they bring you here, but now you have less wounds and bruises.”

Dongyoung avert his still glassy eyes to the other. The smile was still on that face, complementing adorably his pale face, his soft cheeks, and his deep dimples.

“Who are you?” he unconsciously said as he wondered and rummage his mind for any possible events they could had possibly met. To his dismay, he didn’t find any.

Yoonoh’s eyes widened as slight blush crept on his cheeks. Oh I forgot, he thought. He chuckled, out of amusement and awkwardness, scratching the back of his head as he did so.

“I’m sorry. Where are my manners?” he simply responded, offering Dongyoung another smile and a hand for a shake. “I’m Yoonoh. Jung Yoonoh. I am the son of the doctor who treated you.”

Dongyoung stared at the other’s hand as if it was foreign to him, as if it hadn’t rubbed on his back just a while ago, as if it hadn’t touched his face a while ago. He glanced on the other’s face, the same smile he find adorable still there. He reached out for the other’s hand and shook it slightly before parting his own apart after mumbling “Dongyoung Kim” quickly.

“My dad told me to look after you,” Yoonoh broke the eerie silence slowly swallowing the room. Dongyoung just offered him a weak smile, appreciating the boy’s efforts to keep him up.

“You don’t need to do that.”

“No, I need to,” Yoonoh countered. “I solemnly swore to my dad I’ll look over you and treat you like a big brother of mine until your relatives pick you up here.”

Dongyoung’s stomach fluttered at the nice words. The thought of Yoonoh being a brother he never ever had to him made him feel safe, glad. He only met the other literally minutes ago but he already had his trust. Dongyoung smiles just grew bigger before he hugged, for another time, the boy in front of him.

“Thank you,” he mumbled softly, but he’s sure the other heard him as he felt the smile growing on his face. Yoonoh returned the embrace before a creak of the room’s door made them break it apart.

“Yoonoh, you need to take your dinner now,” a man in a lab coat, holding a tray with food entered the room they were in. Noticing the slight surprise in the man’s face, which surprisingly resembles Yoonoh’s, Dongyoung guessed he was the doctor Yoonoh was telling him about. “Oh he’s awake now.”

“Yes dad,” the bliss on his voice as Yoonoh called him ‘dad’ verified his speculation. The man, with a name pin stating “Dr. Jung” on his right chest made a beeline to his bed, putting the tray on top of a pedestal near him.

“How are you feeling now Dongyoung?” the man interrogates, concern evident on the tone of his voice. Dongyoung just mumbled an “ok” before the doctor hummed a tone and observed him a little more. “Are you still feeling pain somewhere?”

Dongyoung cupped his right jaw as a sudden throb of pain hit him after being asked. His face winced and it didn’t take any longer for the doctor to examine it.

“I suppose this still hurt,” he simply stated, Dongyoung noticing the dismay on his and his son’s faces. “This side of your face took all the impact when your head hit the windows. It might take a while before the pain goes away. But I’ll give you pain killers just so it won’t trouble you.”

Dr. Jung smiled a reassuring one, resemblance with Yoonoh getting more apparent. He squeezed his shoulder a little bit before excusing himself to go to the lounge and grab some of the pills. Dongyoung watch his back as the door slams shut once again. He felt something touch his jaw and the pain it felt automatically made him move for distance. He saw Yoonoh trying to reach him out, his face to be exact.

“I’m sorry,” the other’s hand slowly moved away from him. “Did I hurt you?”

Dongyoung simply shook his head, mumbling “it’s fine”.

Yoonoh jumped off the bed, sprinting towards the pedestal, trying not to slip on the tiled floors. He grabbed the tray of food and went back to the bed immediately, putting the tray in front of the sick boy.

“Are you hungry? You’ve been unconscious for three days so I supposed you would like something to eat,” Yoonoh questions with excitement flowing from the tone of his voice. Dongyoung observed the tray and its contents. There was a carton of milk, two cartons actually. Fried rice put neatly on the side of the tray, with chicken on the top of it, fried eggs on the down, and carrot soup on the other side. There’s also an individually packed sandwich, yogurt, salad, and five slices of apple, a usual hospital meal that Dongyoung sees on every drama he watched.

Dongyoung felt his mouth salivate at the view of a deliciously plated food in front of him. His stomach grumbled loudly, obviously asking for food. He blushed a deep red in embarrassment as Yoonoh laughed at him.

The next thing he remembered, he was being fed by Yoonoh, or at least Yoonoh forced himself to be fed.

“You’re sick” was what Yoonoh insisted. It was a whole three minutes of “I can feed myself” and that until Dongyoung had agreed to Yoonoh feeding him, to the two of the sharing the same spoon. It wasn’t awkward or anything at all. Dongyoung instead found it cute, but the “here comes the airplane” antic of the other made him disgusted, but he still found it cute.

The tray now empty, the two shared the milk and apple slices as they watched a kid’s show on a television hanging on the wall. Yoonoh took the trouble of asking the nurses outside for the remote control. It was not too long after when his dad came back, a bottle of pain killers and a bottle of cold water in his hold. The two averted their gazes as the older approached them.

“Here,” Dr. Jung said as he neared the sick boy. “Sorry I took long. I had business with your relatives on the phone for a while.”

Dongyoung gave him a curious look, as if inquiring who of the many relatives he had was he talking about. He was aware of how his aunts and uncles were all selfish and evil humans. He could count with his fingers how many of his relatives are truly acting like one to him, to his parents.

“I’m talking about your relatives who is in Hong Kong right now.”

Dongyoung’s face dropped at the mention of the place.

“Doyoungie I will take you to a lot of rides once you’re here.”

A joyful blast of voice in the receiver surprised Dongyoung, making himself almost drop to the side of his bed.

“Goodness Jungwoo I almost had a heart attack!” he exhaled in hopes of keeping his heart’s pace slower. “You’re more excited than me to be honest.”

“We haven’t played in months, you can’t blame me,” the boy on the other side of the phone remarked. “Plus I promised my friends I will introduce you to them so I’m making sure you really will go here and would not stand me up.”

“Am I meeting your crush too,” he can hear his own smirk on his voice and he’s sure the other was blushing, evident by his stutters.

“I don’t—what are you—Lucas’s not my crush!”

“Oops, but I didn’t mention any name.”

And after that the room was filled with laughter again. Dongyoung teasing his cousin, Jungwoo was now a habit of his every morning. There’s just something fulfilling about making the other frustrated, and the fact that Dongyoung can easily make him one made him delighted.

“I’m nervous Jungwoo,” Dongyoung silently uttered to the phone after the laughter subsided. Lying on his bed and looking into the ceiling, he reached his free arms out and acted to grab the light emitting from the bulb. “What if something bad happened to us while going there? What if our plane crashes? What if the whole airport catches on fire? You know there’s so many possibilities.”

“Shut up Dodo,” Jungwoo replied with obvious authority in his tone. “Nothing bad will happen. Stop thinking like that. I know you will come here safe and all pieced together. Don’t worry about nothing.”

“Sorry I can’t help myself.”

A solemn silence engulfed the room once again. Dongyoung laid his arms on his side and he took a glance at his calendar hanging on the wall.

January 26.

One week before they depart to Hong Kong. One week before his birthday. One week before he celebrate it in Disneyland.

Dongyoung was excited. He really was. But anxiety is always a part of him and worrying is just a usual habit of him.

“Kim Dongyoung,” Jungwoo called him with his complete name, and it’s during this time that joking was prohibited. He was all serious. “Promise me you won’t worry anymore. I’ll pray for your safety. I know you’ll get here in Hong Kong safe. I’m sure of it.”

Dongyoung can’t see Jungwoo, but he’s sure he was smiling; he’s sure his eyes was now forming crescents; he’s just sure.

“Thank you Jungwoo,” he silently replied. “See you soon.”

Dr. Jung tucked Dongyoung to sleep, covering him in blankets and wiping the tear stains on his cheeks, careful not to touch any bruises at the process. Yoonoh was just sitting on the bedside, watching the sick boy carefully as he was deep into slumber.

“Aren’t you going to sleep son?” Dr. Jung asked between his yawn. Being a doctor can be stressing. Yoonoh didn’t answer, didn’t move. Dr. Jung took a stand beside his son, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it slightly. “What’s troubling you Yoonoh?”

Yoonoh averted his gaze to the floor. His mind was now full of the scenes not too long ago, of Dongyoung visiting his deceased parents, of him running away to the room, of him still crying heartily and nonstop on the phone, to his cousin Jungwoo, who sound like crying as well. Yoonoh’s heart constricted at the thought, his eyes getting teary as well.

“Why can’t I make him happy dad?” he questioned, the grip on his shoulder getting loose as the moments passed by. He gave his dad a glance, waiting for answers.

“Just let him take a moment,” Dr. Jung smiles in assurance. “Everything’s still fresh to him. The wounds are still open. The hurt and pain are all there still.”

Dongyoung was peaceful in his sleep, unlike the ruckus that he was when he was crying. Yoonoh knew he was exhausted, of the pain, of crying, and so he let him take a good night sleep.

“I don’t want him to go through the pain I had when mom passed away,” Yoonoh replied to his father, gaze on the sleeping boy getting deeper. “I wanted him to be happy after all of this tragedy, just like what you did Dad.”

“You heard them on the phone,” Dr. Jung responded, eyes now on the boy on the bed. “You still have one week to make him feel all that.”

It’s true.

Dongyoung only had a week left on the hospital before he leaves the place. One week is enough for him to be fully healed, enough for him to fully recover, and enough for Yoonoh to make sure he would feel all the happiness in the world.

He promised to do nothing but to keep Dongyoung happy in that span of time, to make him feel his worth, and to erase the sadness on his mind.

One week was enough for him to do all of that.

One week is enough for him to make Dongyoung the happiest person alive, even though after that, they’ll probably never see each other again.

After all, Yoonoh is too young to travel to Hong Kong by himself.

“Yoonoh what are you doing?!” Dongyoung, panic being evident in his tone, questioned the kid mentioned as softly as possible. He didn’t want the trouble coming after the nurses heard them. “Your dad will be mad if he catches us.”

“Don’t worry,” Yoonoh winked at the other kid, a reassuring gesture Dongyoung had observed him do most of the time. “I’ve already done this enough time to know we will not get caught.”

Yoonoh peeked on the corners of the hallway for the third time, making sure they’re in a clearing before they sprint away. Dongyoung’s grip on the other’s arm just got tighter.

“Where are you taking me anyway? And why does it need to be this early in the morning?” the bruised kid inquired.

“It’s clear now! Let’s go,” without bothering to answer the previous inquiries, Yoonoh took Dongyoung to another piggyback ride as they sprinted on the corridors to the elevators, careful not to slip or drop Dongyoung. “I told you, I’ll take you to the best place of this whole hospital. And it needs to be this early because it’s the best time!”

Dongyoung kept silent, not bothering to question anymore. Not long after did the two reach the front of the lift. Pressing the button for the upper ground floor, the doors immediately opened and Yoonoh made a gesture for them to come inside.

“Let’s go Dongyoung!” Yoonoh excitedly but carefully dropped the kid from his back. Dongyoung’s feet now on the floor again. “I’m excited to show you this place.”

The descending of the lift didn’t take long. The two exited the elevator after it hit the upper ground floor. They made a beeline to the exit. Yoonoh, having known the security guard for years, didn’t take that much time in convincing Mr. Park to let them out.

The chill breeze of the midnight air blew as they took a foot outside the building. Being snuggled with down jackets already, the cold didn’t bother them. Yoonoh led their way through the dark, dragging Dongyoung right behind him. Dongyoung was blind as a bat, so he just trusted the other kid and let him drag him wherever they were planning to be.

Not too long after, the walking stopped. Dongyoung tried his best to observe where they were. It was still dark, but somehow bright enough for Dongyoung to see a lake, a shrine, an oasis-like view. He saw Yoonoh took a seat on the trimmed grass right under them, and so Dongyoung seconded the motion, having his seat right beside the other.

There was a pregnant pause as Dongyoung averted his gaze from the lake to the kid beside him. Not expecting the other to be looking at him already, he immediately turned his head and sight back to the view, a feeling of warmth tingling his face. He could be red right now but it didn’t matter since it was dark.

“You know Dongyoung,” Yoonoh spoke after the longest time. For the second time Dongyoung looked at him, signalling the other to continue. “Just like you, I lost my mom three years ago.”

The news shocked Dongyoung. He was too occupied with grieving about the loss of his parents he forgot to notice the absence of someone from the other’s family. It just hit him that he only had seen his father, but never his mother, but now he understood why.

“I lost her in a car accident too, a very tragic accident.”

The smile on Yoonoh’s face has long been faded. Dongyoung took his hand and intertwined it with his, trying to calm the other just like how the other calmed him when he was down.

“She was to be the biggest star of South Korea. She was to achieve her greatest dream ever. She was to become the best singer of the whole world. But she didn’t even make it to the recording studio.”

“She was just crossing the street. Nobody expected an overspeeding drunk cab driver to not stop on a red light. My mom wasn’t quick enough to move away. And so the worst thing has happened.”

Dongyoung could feel the effort of the other not to cry evident through his hisses. His grip on the other’s hand tightens, trying his best to comfort him.

“When I saw how troubled you were yesterday, I made a promise to myself that I will do my best to erase that frown out of your face,” Yoonoh turned his gaze towards the other boy, looking deeply into his chestnut brown orbs. “My father took me here when I found out about my mom. Right now, I know it is dark in here. I know this is how you are now. I know you’re swallowed completely by darkness, by sadness, by grief. I understand that since the pain is fresh.”

Dongyoung was out of words to say back. He’s just staring back to Yoonoh, who was literally gleaming right now. He noticed the changed in the luminosity of their surroundings. Yoonoh averted his gaze on the view and Dongyoung followed suit.

It was the most beautiful thing Dongyoung had ever seen.

It was so ethereal, so breathtaking. Yoonoh was right about it being the best place of this whole hospital. Dongyoung had never seen something this amazing. He actually shed a tear from how amazed he was. The lake was definitely an oasis.

“I want you to remember Dongyoung,” Yoonoh kept his remarks. Dongyoung was listening intently. “In every dark moment, there’s always a light behind it. In every dusk, there’s always a dawn. My dad has always been my dawn. He taught me hope even though I felt like there was nothing of it left on me.”

“I know what I experienced was not as severe as yours. I know I didn’t lose both my parents. I know your life is darker than mine, but I promise you one thing,” this time, it was Yoonoh who tightened the grip of their intertwined hands.

“I will be the sun for you. I will wipe away all the darkness in you. I will be the dawn for you. I will make you happy with the best that I can. I know we won’t be together for long, but I want to show you that despite all of these, there’s still hope left, there’s no reason for you to cry again.”

Now, Dongyoung was not sure if he was crying because of his amazement towards the ethereal sight or because of Yoonoh. Either way, he entrapped the other in his warmest hug.

“Thank you Yoonoh. Thank you so much,” he managed to say clearly between his sobs. Yoonoh just hugged back, feeling the comfort of the down jacket and the person inside of it.

“We can only be together for seven days, but can you please promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“Please, whatever happens, don’t forget about me.”

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