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Me, sweetly: hey, [supervisor].

Supervisor: *narrows eyes at me* what?

Me: so [coworker] needs coverage on tuesday...

Supervisor: *glares at me*

Me: I'm at 57 hours, and he only needs cover for 2 hours and 45 minutes!

Supervisor, still glaring: fine. Get out of my sight.

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Me, trying to save for a vacation in 5 weeks, in addition to paying my bills: are you SURE I can't work more than 60 hours a week?

Supervisor:

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I frequently recall this incident from several years ago, when I was an assistant manager at a large chain store. (After the incident happened, I notified my store manager and she stood by my decision, so I have no regrets, despite the the customers attempting to involve corporate.)

I helped a woman at the register. I wished her a good day. I moved onto the woman behind her. I start bagging her items.

I guess the first woman was trying to get my attention, or something. I don't know, I wasn't looking at her. Next thing I know, I hear, "ARE YOU DEAF, OR SOMETHING??"

I looked up and saw the first woman standing off to the side, looking upset. My current customer and everyone else in line is staring at her.

I said, very calmly, since I am very used to stuff like this, "yes, I am deaf, actually. Can I help you with something?"

My current customer BLEW UP at the first woman. She started shouting at her, telling her to apologize, all that jazz.

The first woman was shouting now, too, saying stuff like, she shouldn't butt into other people's conversations and such.

I straight up raised my voice over both of them and said very firmly, without outright yelling, "I'll thank you not to cause a scene in my store. If you want to argue, the door is right there. In the meantime, I have customers to help, so ZIP. IT."

The first woman left, but the second woman stayed, looking smug. "Some people," she said as I handed over her bag of items, "are so rude."

I smiled my customer service smile and said, "yes. And you're one of them. Have a good day. Don't come back."

She was like, "but I was HELPING you!"

No, lady. You made it worse. You caused a scene at my workplace with another customer, pretending to stand up for me. I wasn't mad that she asked if I was deaf. She didn't know. She could have been more polite about it, yes, but it's customer service. I don't expect much. But the MOMENT you heard that I was deaf, you made me a martyr for your cause. I am not a victim! I DO NOT need you to make a fuss about something so minor that I would have forgotten about in a few hours.

Why do hearing people believe I am incapable of defending myself? Just because I DON'T? I don't do it, because it takes more energy than it's worth. I don't CARE what the world thinks about me. As long as my true friends know the truth, and love and support me, then I don't care. I don't want to waste my time and energy correcting people of their prejudice, because I "don't look deaf." Or because I don't "sound deaf."

I had speech classes all throughout grade school, so I can speak without a typical "deaf accent." I read lips VERY well, so even without my ears in, I can follow entire conversations, and you'll never even realize I'm not wearing my ears. I ran an entire retail store for 4 months while completely deaf, before I got my first cochlear implant. I am VERY capable of doing ANYTHING I put my mind to.

So no, I don't want you to "defend" me so you look good in other people's eyes. Defend me for me. Speak up BEFORE I have a chance to say, "yes, I am deaf, actually." Step in when you notice someone trying to get my attention from across the room instead of assuming I'm incompetent. Defend me because I'm a human being, not because you think I'll make a good poster child for your fight against "ableism."

Having broken ears doesn't make me weak, so stop treating me like I am.

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Coworker: cops in this town are crazy! You go one mile over the speed limit, and bam! They pull you over!

Me: you're not the first coworker to tell me that, but...I've never been pulled over for speeding. Ever. In my life. Even when I was clearly not following the speed limit.

Coworker: ...

Me: ...

Coworker: I hate you.

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manager: you DO know it's normal for people to exchange numbers, right?

Me: why is it so hard to understand that I don't like giving people my number unless I already trust them inexplicably?

Manager: don't you give your number to people so you can build trust?

Me: I have trust issues! I can't live like that!

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me: I just wrote the most deliciously evil ending for this book. Readers are gonna KILL me.

Writing group: they can't kill you if they don't read it, and they can't read it if you don't share it

Me: *gasp* rude! But fair.

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Coworker: cops are crazy!

Me: why?

Coworker: if you go one mile over the speed limit on Main Street, they'll pull you over!

Me, knowing exactly what kind of driver she is: ...WERE you going only one mile over the speed limit?

Coworker: ...okay, no, but it's still true, so my point is still valid!

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Noses are just WILD.

Like, you'll be sitting there, minding your own business, and your nose will be like, "do you know what we need? Right this second? BLOOD."

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My mom be like, "why are all my children taller than me?"

Like it's OUR fault she married a guy a whole foot taller than her.

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moral of every enemy to lover story

i’ve fucked guys i should’ve shot in the head

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what's insane to me is that you're measuring a kid in shoe boxes. At LEAST make them boot boxes! Come ON!

fucking insane to me that people can be mean to kids. this thing is four to five shoe boxes tall and youre shouting at it ?? ? what is your damage the mf just got here.

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YOU 👏🏻 CANNOT 👏🏻 DEMAND 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 SERVICE 👏🏻 AND 👏🏻 IN 👏🏻 THE 👏🏻 SAME 👏🏻 BREATH 👏🏻 DEMEAN 👏🏻 IT!!!👏🏻

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Me, writing story: *When [character] awoke, the bed was cold.*

Student, reading over my shoulder: THAT'S SO SAD! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? HOW COULD YOU TREAT YOUR BABIES SO EVILLY???

Me: ...it's....not a happy story...go away.

Student: but I wanna read it! It's so good!

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hate when people are like "trust your gut! listen to your intuition!" like okay well my gut is telling me every person i lay eyes on is hunting me for sport and my intuition is saying i should find a secluded cave and live there forever so what do you suggest i do with that information