dont-strain-me

[dont-strain-me]

An update, of sorts (9/21/2023)

Hello everyone (or just me, haha!) - it's been over two years since I've updated this blog. There have been a lot of personal updates in my life, my own struggle with body acceptance, and health struggles, and I thought it would be interesting to share those in the context of this blog.

When I started this blog, I had recently moved out of my dad's house and on my own with my primary partner. I was also starting to get regular check-ups at the doctor for the first time in about...10-15 years? And part of my motivation for starting the blog - aside from wanting to physically be skinnier - was also that I was advised by my doctor because my cholesterol and heart rates were elevated above normal. I also had major issues with vitamin D deficiency (like, catastrophically low vitamin D deficiency!), some iron deficiency, and general sluggishness. I have a pretty strong family history of heart disease, so it was important for me to handle these issues.

Cut to - making this blog, and tracking my progress! I would bore everyone with what is already here, but - having been overweight for some time now - I kind of knew that trying to consciously lose weight wasn't going to work, and I thought I could do it ""healthfully"" with making small changes.

That didn't really work - at some point, I realized I'd just be counting calories forever. And I didn't have a great workout routine either; I think I wasn't exercising enough to get either the weight loss or general health benefits of it.

So, cut to 2021 - I decide to make a conscious for myself to stop prioritizing weight loss and just feel comfortable in my skin

This was...really difficult. Difficult in a way I didn't expect. I had an issue where I was trying to order a pair of pants online and I felt this weird paranoid sense of shame when I had to keep returning the pants to get a bigger size. I consciously recognized that the company had a really kind of stupid sizing structure for their clothes, but subconsciously it felt like shaming me for being plus sized.

There is something about trying to just develop a sense of comfort and body neutrality that seems threatening to people, too. Telling people you're not actively losing weight - especially when you're a small fat like me - feels like a sin of the highest order.

--

Now, this lasted for a few years. In that time, I had started therapy, and was trying in general to get out and get moving (on my therapist's requests). My doctors were still advising I lose weight, but when I would ask for more concrete suggestions or plans, they would just tell me the same general info. Fine, I guess, I'll just try and go to the gym a big and see how that goes.

I was beginning to have some issues with my blood pressure. So bad, that one visit to the OB/GYN for an annual pap smear lead to me having to sit there for almost 30 minutes over the time I was supposed to leave because my blood pressure was almost dangerously high.

Then, Autumn of 2022 - I kept getting sick with the flu, or COVID, or something, on and off for months. On the second trip to the urgent care to try and get some antibiotics, the attending physician - who also happened to be an ER doctor - took my vitals and saw my blood pressure was high, and gave me an EKG. Sure enough, she told me I was having a "minor cardiac event" but would be fine, but I needed to see a cardiologist.

After the cardiologist visit, a lipid panel, an echocardiogram, and a stress test, they concluded that my cholesterol and blood pressure were elevated, but not enough to be medicated, and I should try and lose weight, exercise more, and eat less fat and sodium.

This was really challenging for me, at first. I had a serious medical need to lose weight and have to constantly monitor my food intake, but that was a stress I thought I was able to leave long behind.

But I got started, and I started doing two things that I think have made the biggest impact on my vitals since - I started organizing my workouts based on time rather than how much I was doing, and spacing out fast food meals and other greasy/salty meals that I would want.

I used the US's recommendation for how much exercise an adult should get in per week - 150 minutes of moderate exercise. It was really hard at first, but honestly, it is so much easier than I expected. I tell myself that I need to find absolutely any physical activity to on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays that get me to the 150 minutes per week (50 minutes each of those days). I'll double the time I have doing light work (like cleaning) so that it comes out to a more moderate exercise, but most of the time I find myself doing long, intentional walks around the neighborhood or at the gym, messing with the settings on the treadmill there to increase resistance. Sometimes I'll even go do weight machines, and keep track of the time actually doing an exercise with a stopwatch so I'm not counting excessive time sitting around as "working out"

Spacing out the rate at which I eat greasy and salty foods has helped a lot too. I have also started trying to do that with sugary sodas, too. I tend to have less cravings in general and am able to go much longer in between without feeling ravenous for it. Occasionally I have more than I should, but then I'm excited to bounce right back into healthy eating.

After doing all of this - honestly - I did begin noticing physical changes. I just felt "better" - I didn't feel so sluggish, and a lot of random aches and pains I would get around my body finally started to go away completely. I notice they come back when I'm too sedentary or eating too much salty or greasy foods, but then it becomes a good motivating factor for finding healthy food and maybe getting up and taking care of some cleaning around the house and doing a few stretches. Feeling this good really makes a big difference on my mental health, too.

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This is all to say, as recently as yesterday I discovered my LDL cholesterol is now only 4 points above normal (as opposed to like 40 points) and my blood pressure was at 116/70, at a normal range! My vitamin D is not dangerously deficient anymore, but I still need to take the supplements, and I am not longer deficient in iron.

And if you can believe it - on top of all of this - I have no lost any weight. In fact, I've gained about 5 lbs.

Knowing the years of hearing my doctors mention weight loss, I brought this up. I mentioned that I try and get 150 minutes of exercise in per week, and my doctor looked at me and said that my weight is stable, and that I shouldn't worry about separate weight loss right now because my body composition - as long as I continue this frequent exercise in the long term - will start to follow suit. I couldn't even believe it.

I wanted to end on this note, because I think it really proved for me that I can be healthy without having to starve myself, or feel like I needed to track everything I took into my body. It really can just be as easy as eating as healthfully as possible, have a treat when you need it, and keep yourself moving as much as possible, in any way that would be fun and fulfilling for you.

[dont-strain-me]

Shifting Focus

It has been nearly 3 years since I’ve started this blog. I’ve shifted from using it weekly, to mostly-weekly, to stopping for months at a time. 

Seriously trying to lose weight was an interesting experience, and now I have it catalogued here for myself and anyone who happens to pass by. I’ve decided that I just don’t want to spend my life losing weight, and this post is about my experiences coming to terms with how I view myself and other fat people, and where I’m going from here.

I went in with one goal - I wanted to get to 145 lbs. I figured that would be really challenging, and in fact, I didn’t get anywhere close to it. I went in with this idea that I would gradually change my dietary habits, count calories, and do things in a sustainable way and in a way that didn’t fall into the normal traps of diet culture. But truly, the times I lost significant weight were almost entirely because I became sick or depressed. When I was at my lowest weight in this endeavor - I think I saw the scale hit 185.9 lbs - it had a lot more to do with depression, anxiety, and the circumstances at the time of my primary relationship.

It was a lot of work. I found that there were times dieting and counting calories really engaged with the type A aspect of my personality; I liked making lists, checking things off, and following the rules of the game. But there were other times where I would become much busier with work and/or my social life, and it was a huge hassle. My mental health inevitably threw a wrench in that system, as well.

There is also an implicit anti-fat bias as a result of starting the Non-Diet-Diet. I was immediately just condescending and looked down on people for not being able to do this, and just generally feeling ugly in my own skin and feeling like “why would I - or anyone - want to look like this?” I think I’ve come to terms with that a lot more now, especially as I would adjust goals to make them more realistic, actually healthy, and not based solely on weight loss. Unfortunately, part of what lead to this attitude was how much *better* I felt after I actually started exercising and eating a better diet, though it didn’t occur to me that I was just making healthier choices and still fat. I would think “why would people not want to feel like this? I feel amazing and have so much more mobility”.

It would be disingenuous for me to say that there weren’t positives along the way. Creating this sort of ��Non-Diet Diet” gave me structure for better eating and workout habits that were hard to form when I would try and aimlessly lose weight in the past. I started this blog - in fact - to try and keep myself accountable and have structure. I think it also helped me confront my own body image and trauma-based eating habits I had. It made it a lot easier for me to say that it was okay to not eat, that I didn’t have to eat quickly and know I would still have food available later.

But, I just don’t want to spend my life counting calories. I knew I wouldn’t, but the goal I set for myself seems somewhat realistic, would take so many more years to accomplish, and at this point I think I’ve armed myself with enough knowledge and resources to keep myself accountable for just healthy eating and living. I’d like to explore more of what that means, rather than seeing “healthy” only as being “losing weight”. I’d rather just figure out what weight my body should be at and be cool with that. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed to be a small fat person, and I’m still worthy of love, respect, and a life if I am.

So, will I be making future posts?

I’m considering it. Writing down the aspects of my workout that worked for me really made a difference, and also keep events and things that work or do not work fresh in my head. I think having the space to parse out those thoughts is tremendously important. I’ll just remove the weight-based ones unless there’s a really good reason why I need to save them. I only track my weight on a monthly basis at this point, in case anything feels off. 

I find if I don’t have a place to write my thoughts and experiences, and create lists, it becomes a lot harder to keep with it, and I’ll forget things I know I should remember. I just might get rid of the old posts, or create a new blog.

So, that’s that. I will not be sharing my weight today, but instead go and eat some fruit and drink water. Take care of yourselves, y’all.

[dont-strain-me]

Week 129

Weight at the start:  203.5 lbs

Weight at the end:  204.5 lbs

Calorie consumption:  N/A

Average daily caloric consumption:  N/A

Total Workout Time This Week: N/A

Dietary guidelines:  No fast food, no straws, slower eating, no carbonated beverages, 1 food high in HDL/low in LDL, vitamin D/potassium liquid supplement (one drop per day), adjust calories based on time working out per week, 3 vegan meals per week

—————-

Diet

Today I am MAD bloated and gassy. I feel like absolutely garbage. I can’t even remember the last time I felt like this. I’ve started having some pressure relief as I’ve typed this up, but still.

I didn’t follow the diet especially closely this week. I’m feeling a little bit more motivated now, but I think I just needed to take a week and figure out my priorities and all that. I’m ready to begin-anew this week.

Exercise/Workout

I didn’t get to any workouts within the last week. I’ve been so close to being able to going back to the gym so many times, and I’ve also just been exhausted/depressed after work. 

Last Thoughts

On to the next week, I guess. I’m trying to remember the dieting and exercise is a form of self-care, but it has been HARD. I’m trying to remind myself that I’ll feel better if I engage in those things first.

[dont-strain-me]

Week 125-128

Weight at the start:  205.4 lbs

Weight at the end:  203.5 lbs

Calorie consumption:  N/A

Average daily caloric consumption:  N/A

Total Workout Time This Week: N/A

Dietary guidelines:  No fast food, no straws, slower eating, no carbonated beverages, 1 food high in HDL/low in LDL, vitamin D/potassium liquid supplement (one drop per day), adjust calories based on time working out per week, 3 vegan meals per week

—————-

Diet

Again, haven’t been following the diet especially closely. I try and remind myself that it’s for my health but also I’m depressed! And so is everyone else. I’m working on it and myself. Ugh.

Exercise/Workout

I still haven’t been working out as much as I should, but part of that is still because I’m stuck at home and the COVID-19 totals for both states haven’t decreased enough to make me comfortable. It got close a few weeks ago, but not much.

Last Thoughts

It’s hard to concentrate on stuff like this when it feels like the world is just in upheaval and on fire. I’m venting a little bit here just to get it off my chest. I’m trying to get out and work with groups a little bit more, but it’s hard and I feel like my own contributions aren’t enough. I’m working on it though, there’s plenty to do.

[dont-strain-me]

Week 122 - 124

Weight at the start:  205 lbs

Weight at the end:  205.4 lbs

Calorie consumption:  N/A

Average daily caloric consumption:  N/A

Total Workout Time This Week: N/A

Dietary guidelines:  No fast food, no straws, slower eating, no carbonated beverages, 1 food high in HDL/low in LDL, vitamin D/potassium liquid supplement (one drop per day), adjust calories based on time working out per week, 3 vegan meals per week

—————-

Diet

Took another break, though this time I find myself back here because I know I should lose weight for the next time I have to go in and see the doctor. I’ve been feeling a lot more confident in my skin recently, but there are probably halfway decent medical reasons for me to get down to at least 182 lbs. I think that’s pretty much what’s keeping me on the weight loss trajectory at this point.

I haven’t been watching my diet especially closely, though I’ve been eating the normal kinds of stuff I had been when I’ve been watching my weight during the week, and I think that’s helping a lot. I’m trying to stick with healthier options and keeping things in moderation, but it has been difficult. I think counting calories helped me choose better options and moderate what I was eating. 

The HARDEST part of my dietary guidelines for me to follow has definitely been not drinking carbonated beverages. I think I’m going to have to wean myself off of so much of the Diet Dr. Pepper and Diet Cokes I’ve been drinking.  I’ve been starting to drink more than one per day which is definitely not great. They’re just so tasty, and I can’t handle the sugar in a lot of regular pops anymore.

Speaking of sugar, I’ll probably be keeping an eye on my sugar intake this week, as I’ve been having some vaginal yeast-y type issues and don’t really want to treat it with monistat unless i absolutely have to (it’s not that serious yet either, though).

Exercise/Workout

I have definitely not been working out like I should. I want so badly to go back to a fitness class or gym and get into that routine again. I’m considering switching my gym closer to work since the c*vid rates are lower and just working out there (I’m waiting until there’s less than 500 new cases/day before I do that though).

I did about 14 minutes of working out yesterday and my body is in sooooo much pain. I’m so ache-y. I’m also pretty exhausted; I’m not sure what’s up with that. I’m probably going to try and take a nap in a little while if I’m not feeling much better.

Last Thoughts

I have a renewed urge to work out and try and eat right, at least until I get down to the weight that I need to be at. I’m not feeling as motivated to get down to 145 lbs anymore; I’m not sure why, I guess I’m just feeling better about my body these days. At this point, it’s purely for medical purposes and just trying to live a healthy life (I just feel better when I’m exercising and eating a healthy diet, anyway).

[dont-strain-me]

Week 121

Weight at the start:  201.2 lbs

Weight at the end:  205 lbs

Calorie consumption:  2,372

Average daily caloric consumption:  2,172.105

Total Workout Time This Week: 23 min

Dietary guidelines:  No fast food, no straws, slower eating, no carbonated beverages, 1 food high in HDL/low in LDL, multivitamin/vitamin D3 (2,000 mg) supplement per day, adjust calories based on time working out per week, 3 vegan meals per week

—————-

Diet

I took a break from the diet for a few weeks after developing something of a sinus infection. I think the pollen is getting to my sinuses - I didn’t really go out during the spring and I’m wondering if that has been affecting me - but it has since cleared up and I’m slowly leaning back into counting calories and exercising.

I only did two days on the diet this week, and didn’t quite make the cut on vegan food. I’m slowly working the other dietary requirements into my routine as well. I think this has been working out better than jumping right back into a routine that was more intense than what I had been doing prior.

Exercise/Workout

I only had a few days working out this week, and I was slowly easing back into it. 

I’m dying to go to the gym or go to a pole, pilates, or aerials class, but I want to wait until the numbers are much lower where I’m at. They’re unfortunately going up again. 

Last Thoughts

As hard as this has been, I am trying to lead a healthy lifestyle, and I’m trying to make it stick the best I can. On to the next week, and I’ll be sticking with the diet more and trying to work out more.

[dont-strain-me]

Week 116

Weight at the start:  203.5 lbs

Weight at the end:  201.2 lbs

Calorie consumption:  2,362

Average daily caloric consumption:  2,180.29

Total Workout Time This Week: 54 min

Dietary guidelines:  No fast food, no straws, slower eating, no carbonated beverages, 1 food high in HDL/low in LDL, multivitamin/vitamin D3 (2,000 mg) supplement per day, adjust calories based on time working out per week, 3 vegan meals per week

—————-

Diet

Not much to report on this week - keeping with my diet hasn’t been too difficult at the moment. I’ve been bad about recording my last days of the week that aren’t cheat days; luckily, it didn’t bite me in the ass this week, but that could change.

I’ve been having issues keeping with the vegan portion of my diet. I’m going to have to work more on keeping that in there. I’ve also been bad about eating fast food and sodas - even when I don’t go over my caloric limit - so that’s something I’ll have to work on.

Exercise/Workout

I finally caught up on all my workout days! Not going to lie, that feels pretty good. I’m tired of playing catch-up all the damn time.

Last Thoughts

I’ve been feeling kind of off recently. Nothing feels the way that it should. I think I’ve been spending too much time with my family, and it’s really beginning to bum me out. 

I think I’m just spending time with too many people in general, and my introvert battery feels like it’s running on empty all the time. I think once I have a chance to focus on myself and accomplish the things I want to get done, I’ll start feeling a lot better. 

[dont-strain-me]

Week 102-115

Weight at the start:  194 lbs

Weight at the end:  203.5 lbs

Calorie consumption:  2,358

Average daily caloric consumption:  1,907.56

Total Workout Time This Week: 55 min

Dietary guidelines:  No fast food, no straws, slower eating, no carbonated beverages, 1 food high in HDL/low in LDL, multivitamin/vitamin D3 (2,000 mg) supplement per day, adjust calories based on time working out per week, 3 vegan meals per week

—————-

Diet

I’ve been derelict in my duty to update this blog, but I’m getting around to it now.

Being that I hadn’t been working out or counting calories as much, I have been easing back into counting calories 5 days out of the week and doing a break for two. I have been doing 4 days on, 3 days off for the past 3 weeks, and I’m ready to start doing it 5 days on, 2 days off, because I’ve been gaining some weight back the past few weeks.

I’ve gone up 1.5 lbs. I’ve actually been good about coming in lower in my caloric limit, but I’ve also been eating a lot more fast food and drinking soda. I know I have to cut that out. I also didn’t get all my vegan meals in last week. It’s definitely been a work in progress.

I won’t be adding another lb difference on to my caloric limit this week, but I will be making an especially concerted effort to do only two days off the diet this week. I know I can make it, and I REALLY want to.

Exercise/Workout

I’m wiping out the time I was trying to make up for when I was able to go to the gym more before the shut down happened, but I do actually still have one gym day to make up for!

I’ve been doing circuits at home for a minimum of 13 min at a time. Sometimes it comes out later. I’m hoping by Friday, I’ll be able to at least hit the gym and do some cardio like running. I know that’s going to be based largely off what gym I manage to get to and what machines will be free. I’ll have to look at the requirements online.

Otherwise, I’m psyched to get back to the gym and into workout classes. Building my endurance and stamina back up has been a painstaking process, but I’m starting to notice a difference.

Last Thoughts

I’ve been feeling especially motivated to get back into shape an lose weight; my clothes have been really, really tight. I ripped a new-ish pair of jeans I bought several months ago and haven’t worn that much, because my inner thighs are a loooooot bigger this time around. Even a size 12 pant is way too small for me at the moment.

I haven’t talked physique too much on here recently, but I’m noticing this time around with weight gain that my belly is sagging....a lot more. It’s really been bothering me, and I think it’s also contributing to the very large pant size I have to wear. I’m worried I’ll have to get a 2 XL when I go buy more leggings soon, and I’m not looking forward to that.

I’m going to concentrate a lot more on following my own rules for my diet, not just with regards to the caloric intake, so that I can hopefully kick some of this weight off. 

[dont-strain-me]

So, it’s been a while (an update)

The last chance I had to write a journal entry was March 9th. It’s now May 31st. Things are leveling out, so I’m going to start tracking and doing calorie counting, and I wanted to include an update.

I stopped initially because everything about COVID-19 was ramping up near me, and I figured counting calories was just the least of my worries. I was still going to the gym a little bit prior to about Friday the 13th. Everything shut down at the end of that day.

The last two month have been...pretty depressing. I was drinking A LOT through part of it - at least, certainly more than I normally do - and just trying to keep in touch with friends and family through facetiming, Skype, etc. I’ve luckily been working from home, but that comes with its own stressors. 

And then, about 3 1/2 weeks ago - I got COVID-19. My boyfriend is an essential worker, and we knew this would be a possibility. He brought it home to me, and recovered just under two weeks. I was recovering at sort of the same rate that he was, and then I ended up getting worse and needing to see a doctor.

I was properly tested - when I contacted my doctor when I first got symptoms, she said there really wasn’t a need for a test since my partner received one and tested positive - and it was pretty painful. I had a vasovagal response to the test and was bent over a biohazard waste bin just gagging and lightheaded. I ended up with a splitting headache the rest of the night (I talked to a friend about this who has received about 3 tests for non-covid reasons, and she mentioned that they don’t normally go like mine did). I had an x-ray done that came up totally normal and my blood oxygen was 100%. There wasn’t much they could do since this was a virus, but they gave me an inhaler. That helped enormously; I was finally able to deal with a lot of the chest tightness and shortness of breath I was feeling. I’ve been off of it for nearly two days now, which has been my symptom-free cue.

Some other things about being sick - I was DEHYDRATED!!! I was SO dehydrated, for weeks. There were moments where - if I wasn’t sucking down water or gatorade or a pedialyte pop - it felt like my kidneys were just sitting on my back, like when I would drink loads of coffee in my late teens/early 20s and not drink water. There were looooaaadds of body aches, sometimes waking me up from sleep. Walking and talking - even if I had been sitting down - was exhausting. I couldn’t talk to people on the phone super often without feeling exhausted and short of breath. I also had one day where it felt like someone kicked and punched me in my mid- to upper-back. I didn’t know at the time that that could’ve been a clue for a pneumonia or major lung infection. It was also just a scary experience overall; sometimes my anxiety would spike and it would exacerbate ALL the symptoms I’ve had. At one point - while struggling to breath on my couch - I just started crying. It was terrifying to feel this way - because I was really in pain, and because it is difficult to emphasize how each day is unpredictable - and just how many people in my own life don’t believe this exists or think it’s a big deal (my uncle also passed a few weeks before I got infected from the virus).

So, that bring us up to now - I’ve been doing stretches and light exercise to get my lungs back into good working order (I think that has been helping more than I realized). The stores have leveled out in terms of stock, and I want to get back into calorie counting and better dietary habits in general.

I made sure to weigh myself this morning, and it came out to 202.5. My prior goal had been 145 I believe, right? And 185 was my next weight goal.

Believe it or not, I came out to 206 when I got my most recent pap smear. I think some of the exercising has shed some of that water weight, but I’m already struggling to fit into my clothes and I want that to change. At the moment, even wearing a bra is too tight. 

This time, I want my weight to be at at least 182. Just in case I run into a situation like this again, I don’t want my weight to spiral out like it did this last time. 

I’ll be instituting the same policies I had in place before, I just won’t be making up workout days. 

[dont-strain-me]

Week 101

Weight at the start:  194 lbs

Weight at the end:  194 lbs

Calorie consumption:  2,305

Average daily caloric consumption:  2,241.19

Total Workout Time This Week:  76 min

Dietary guidelines:  No fast food, no straws, slower eating, no carbonated beverages, 1 food high in HDL/low in LDL, multivitamin/vitamin D3 (2,000 mg) supplement per day, adjust calories based on time working out per week, 3 vegan meals per week

—————-

Diet

This week was okay in terms of sticking with the diet. There were days when I really wanted to just quit, but I’m not sure why. I also had a few days were I went over my caloric limit, which was not good. I’m trying to be more mindful of when that occurs.

I know last week I said that I wanted to skip vegan meals for a while because it’s expensive, but I found myself eating out A LOT last week and I realize in hindsight that I definitely could have made those meals vegan. I’m trying to keep that in mind when I need to pick up a bite to eat, but also when I’m at home. I could definitely get vegan options cheap or included in my grocery shopping.

Anyway, though I didn’t gain weight, I certainly didn’t lose any - might have something to do with going over those two days - so I’m taking calories 4 lbs under my current weight, so I’ll actually officially be out of the 2,300 kcal zone. I’m also going to be checking and double-checking my caloric intake this week so that mistakes don’t happen again this week.

Exercise/Workout

So far, I have 12 cardio days and 12 strength training days.

I screwed up part of this week when the month changed over - and I go to the gym on even-numbered days - I definitely could have had like 3 catch-up days. But that’s okay. 

I’m finding it hard to get over the 1.5 mile treadmill/run plateau. I wonder if this is normal. Most of my other workouts have progressed normally. 

Last Thoughts

All-in-all, not the worst week. I definitely ate WAY more fast food than I should have, avoided breakfast like...everyday this week, and just didn’t track my eating as well as I should have. As I mentioned the last week, I have been feeling like I’m at a plateau I wasn’t at the last time I was at this weight and working this hard. That has me feeling awfully suspicious. 

And as I write about it, I haven’t been that consistent about it; I think the last 2 weeks have been more consistent actually. But still, it has me losing motivation. I just want to hit the 185 lb mark, which doesn’t feel that unattainable (but it certainly does at this point).

[dont-strain-me]

Week 100

Weight at the start:  195.5 lbs

Weight at the end:  194 lbs

Calorie consumption:  2,173

Average daily caloric consumption:  2,052.72

Total Workout Time This Week:  13 min

Dietary guidelines:  No fast food, no straws, slower eating, no soda, 1 food high in HDL/low in LDL, multivitamin/vitamin D3 (2,000 mg) supplement per day, adjust calories based on time working out per week, 3 vegan meals per week

—————-

Diet

Damn, I’ve finally gone into the triple digits on blog posts. Soon I’ll even be at the 2 YEAR MARK WHAT THE HECK.

This week was a bit easier in terms of sticking with the diet. I’ve said it before, but it felt pretty good to stick with calorie counting; I usually found myself to be a lot less bloated and tired throughout the week, and going to the gym is really enjoyable.

It’s becoming a lot easier to me to not even reach the 2,100 kcal mark. Which is also good new considering my maintenance weight will probably be a bit lower than that.

I didn’t do any vegan meals this week. I’ve been having financial issues what with saving for this trip abroad, and ordering vegan cuts into my budget a lot. I may try and do a few this week - I haven’t had a chance to visit my budget or deposit my check in the bank yet, so I’ll wait and see still - but still. I may try and incorporate it into my diet at home or maybe even for breakfast

Exercise/Workout

So far, I have 14 cardio days and 12 strength training days.

I’ve been having some motivational issues about getting to the gym recently. I’ve been pretty behind on my tasks what with being sick and in pain a few weeks ago from the plan b. I’m currently trying to motivate myself to go for a run, but it’s soooooo hard lol. Either way, I’ve got a lot of days to make up for so I need to do either that or home pilates to get the blood going.

Last Thoughts

This week was fine. I’ve hit a plateau and it’s making me suspicious that my body is beginning to adapt a bit too much to the diet I have going now. I don’t want to keep lowering my weekly kcals too much, but I might have to if I don’t progress.

[dont-strain-me]

Measurements - 2/25/2020

Looks like the bust went down and the hips went up! My waist stayed the same, it seems. I’m also doing this a bit late; trying to get back on schedule @_@ 

Bust:  41″ Waist:  38.5″ Hips:  45″

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Week 99

Weight at the start:  195.5 lbs

Weight at the end:  195.5 lbs

Calorie consumption:  2,173

Average daily caloric consumption:  1,855.17

Total Workout Time This Week:  59 min

Dietary guidelines:  No fast food, no straws, slower eating, no soda, 1 food high in HDL/low in LDL, multivitamin/vitamin D3 (2,000 mg) supplement per day, adjust calories based on time working out per week, 3 vegan meals per week

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Diet

Ugh. This week was a doozy.

The Saturday prior to the beginning of this week, I needed to take a Plan B, but it was also the first day of my period. I’ve taken plan B in the past, but not so close to my period, so it threw my hormones completely out of wack, resulting in an even longer cycle. I was in so much pain for a great deal of it - I have also been constipated on and off this last week - so I only had one day on the diet (which is why it reads so low). 

I wasn’t sure what the results of this week would have been, but I haven’t been dieting and I’m also having some cash flow issues as I’m saving up for this trip abroad that I might have to put a small hold on the vegan meals. It is just costing me way too much money and I really need to learn to make vegan meals or just cut it out until my accounts are in better order.

Exercise/Workout

So far, I have 12 cardio days and 12 strength training days.

I had one strength training day this past week, and that was pretty nice. I’ve started doing cardio in intervals of 5 minutes when the machines I need are being occupied, so at least I’m keeping warmed up and my heart rate up. It also extends my workout time - I know I’m supposed to be working out something like 150 minutes a week (I don’t usually make that).

Last Thoughts

I’m feeling better this week. It’s not my goal to do that again any time soon, and my boyfriend is on board. I had to call the doctor and everything when my flow increased again. And I still have to make sure that I don’t end up with an ectopic (or other kind of) pregnancy. @_@ 

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Week 98

Weight at the start:  193.5 lbs

Weight at the end:  195.5 lbs

Calorie consumption:  2,160

Average daily caloric consumption:  1,979.63

Total Workout Time This Week:  78 min

Dietary guidelines:  No fast food, no straws, slower eating, no soda, 1 food high in HDL/low in LDL, multivitamin/vitamin D3 (2,000 mg) supplement per day, adjust calories based on time working out per week, 3 vegan meals per week

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Diet

I gained a little bit of weight this week, but I’m not super surprised since my period started the day before I weighed in.

I was really nervous about doing 2,160 calories a day. It’s been a really long time since I’ve adjusted my calories for a full week based on only working out for three days, but I really wanted to catch up on some strength training days and that was the only way I could make that happen. And it turns out - it wasn’t so bad! Part of that is owed to the fact that I wasn’t eating a full breakfast when I left; I was still kind of shoveling yogurt into my face and eating some frozen blueberries so I could just get out on the road and get to work. There was even a day where I only had 1,795 calories and was totally full.

As unsatisfying as much lunches can be sometimes, I think I’m on the right track when it comes to what my standard caloric intake can be from breakfast-lunch. I don’t even really mind having a heavier dinner as a result; it’s the point when I’m awake where I begin to wind down.

Exercise/Workout

So far, I have 10 cardio days and 11 strength training days.

I managed to make up for one strength training day - which felt pretty good - and I did more show shoveling on Thursday and couldn’t find the time to hit the gym on Friday, so I called it even. It feels great to be able to be building strength back up, and I’m really beginning to feel more energized and not so exhausted by my workouts.

Last Thoughts

I’m writing this a bit late, while having a pretty hectic health week, but hopefully it improves. I’ll expound more upon that next week. Hopefully I’ll see more results after the period water weight goes back down. I’m starting to see a little bit of a difference in my clothes again, which is nice.

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Week 97

Weight at the start:  196.5 lbs

Weight at the end:  193.5 lbs

Calorie consumption:  2,322

Average daily caloric consumption:  2,214.36

Total Workout Time This Week:  69 min

Dietary guidelines:  No fast food, no straws, slower eating, no soda, 1 food high in HDL/low in LDL, multivitamin/vitamin D3 (2,000 mg) supplement per day, adjust calories based on time working out per week, 2 vegan meals per week

Diet

I’m pretty glad that I’m back down 3 lbs. I haven’t exactly been feeling it - maybe here and there, but I mostly just figured it was working its way down - so this was a happy surprise. 

I’ve been actually having a lot more trouble sticking with my overall dietary guidelines. I’ve been pretty stressed out, so I’ve been real bad about trying to eat fast food, even if it’s within my overall caloric intake. Money has been extremely tight for me; my partner and I have been struggling a lot more than usual to stay afloat, and it just never seems like I can get enough hours in at work.

I’m also writing this at the end of a pretty stressful day of trying to track inventory and create listings for my online store, and make sure all the listings are cohesive across the board. I’ve spent hours doing this - I’m tired, as it is the end of the day - and I feel like I’ve accomplished so little.

I’m hoping the following week becomes easier. I have a lot of work to get done, and I’ve been slacking pretty hard on all of it.

Exercise/Workout

So far, I have 10 cardio days and 12 strength training days.

I actually didn’t go to the gym at all this week; I just did my pilates at home 3 days this week for 13 minutes each, and then I shoveled a bunch of snow at work for about 30 minutes. I called that a workout since I knew I’d be absolutely beat, and I was supposed to try and make it to a different event.

The 13 minute pilates at home is actually beginning to become easier. During my last workout on Saturday, I was beginning to find that the workout didn’t completely wipe me out for the rest of the evening, and I was even available to go hang out with my friends.

Last Thoughts

I was off the antibiotic for the second half of the week, and for a little while there I thought I would have to talk to my primary care doctor, since it felt like I hadn’t gotten better at all. On the Sunday that I’m writing this, I can say that I certainly say that today has been much better so far. It also seems like my GI - which went out of wack again after I stopped taking the antibiotic - is heading back to normal, which I am quite glad about.

I’m looking forward to next week, in some ways - I’ll be able to enjoy a great weekend with friends...but I will also be on quite a reduced caloric intake since I’m only working out for 3 days. Woof!

Anyway, I hope it gets easier. I feel like my mental health is starting to go a little bit...

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Week 96

Weight at the start:  196 lbs

Weight at the end:  196.5 lbs

Calorie consumption:  2,325

Average daily caloric consumption:  2,162.3

Total Workout Time This Week:  88 min

Dietary guidelines:  No fast food, no straws, slower eating, no soda, 1 food high in HDL/low in LDL, multivitamin/vitamin D3 (2,000 mg) supplement per day, adjust calories based on time working out per week, 2 vegan meals per week

Diet

I’m disappointed, but I have been on an antibiotic for the second half of the week due to a sinus infection, and it has caused a lot of bloating, cramping, and probably some water retention (not to mention water retention from getting back into doing strength training). My mid-section is definitely tight, even with pants that are traditionally not that tight even when I have been under 200.

The creep closer and closer back to 200 is absolutely freaking me out, and I’m trying to keep in under control but not go too crazy. This is about trying to make gradual adjustments. I do feel a lot more comfortable having only two cheat days per week; I really feel like I’m developing a healthier relationship to the food around me, and how/when I eat, and what I eat. I don’t feel as stressed out or nervous when I CAN’T eat, which is a serious burden off my shoulders. I think I’ve had a lot of cheat days thanks partly to just wanting so badly to eat.

Still, it’s really hard when - week after week - I hit the scale and it feels like I’m not making any progress. I was really expecting a little something this week. In hindsight, there was still some recovery from my illnesses at the beginning of the week that have probably kept me from making more substantial progress.

So - for the first time in a LONG time - I’ll be adjusting my caloric intake. I’ll be following the recommended caloric intake for the weight 3 lbs under me instead of 2 lbs, and adjusting for how many days I am working out at the gym.

Exercise/Workout

So far, I have 10 cardio days and 12 strength training days.

The first workout at the beginning of the week was just a 13 minute walk and some stretching, and then I was able to get back into my regular workout routine on Tuesday. I got in back and shoulders, and then my core and legs. My recovery time for both has been muuuch slower, probably because I haven’t been going as frequently until recently (my lower abdominal muscles are still sore). I’ll be doing a lot more strength training this coming week since my scheduling has shifted somewhat, and then the following week I’ll be doing a bunch of catch-up on it.

I finally got some regular cardio back in, and MAN is running tough!! I feel like this 1.5 mile business on the treadmill has been my current plateau, but I’ll take it since it does burn a good number of calories and I get a lot of body movement out of it. 

I didn’t realize it until I got to this section, but part of the reason I have probably not lost more weight is because I still had a really light workout at the beginning of this week. In addition to everything else in the last section, that probably hasn’t been doing me any favors.

Last Thoughts

I’m mostly just tired of being sick. It has definitely made my progress slow to a crawl, and it’s really beginning to bum me out. A lot of my clothes I bought when I lost weight around this time last year are really beginning to fit me pretty tightly. 

Hell, the bloating is driving me crazy. My GI hasn’t felt like this since I was 19/20 and drinking too much coffee and not enough water. I was also like this just prior to me starting this diet in 2018 and when I was sick later that summer. ALL of my pants are painfully tight on me when I’m at my most bloated, and the worst was truly when I was at work on Friday and the bloating was so bad it caused me to be in physical pain when I had my pants buttoned and my belt on (which I had to; it’s payday and people come in for their checks).

I’m trying to just get in a regular dose of yogurt to curb the bloating and keeping my bowel movement regular. But still - I can’t even take measurements or progress photos because of how completely bloated I am since it’ll just throw it off. I might do it anyway to get it out of the way, but I’m worried that it will skew the results.

All in all, on to this next week. I’ve at least adjusted my caloric intake, so hopefully I’ll see some progress. I just want to be comfortable again, really.

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The website I use to calculate my caloric intake also lists something called “zig zag dieting” as a way to help overcome plateaus in weight loss. Maybe I’ll give that a shot? At the very least, I think I might be able to get past this setback in my diet by progressively reducing my caloric intake, but it’s not the worst idea in the world.