dontasktheradiodemon

[dontasktheradiodemon]

❌ I'm THIS CLOSE to picking up witchcraft just so I can surround the hotel computer with a magic ward made out of TV remotes to keep new Alastors away from the blog.

❌ The only thing stopping me is the only person I know who knows enough magic to teach me how to do that is Alastor himself.

[dontasktheradiodemon]

❌ Oh my god, are you another one? Really?? How many Alastors ARE there???

❌ Charlie said mentioning Friday the 13th is bad luck—I think she's a little confused about human superstitions?

❌ Anyway, Alastor's been being an asshole about it ever since. He keeps referring to the date as "Baker's Dozen Day."

❌ I told him to cut it out, and now he's calling it "Friday the Onety-Third."

❌ Just in case anyone wondered whether he's still annoying.

[dontasktheradiodemon]

❌ Charlie said mentioning Friday the 13th is bad luck—I think she's a little confused about human superstitions?

❌ Anyway, Alastor's been being an asshole about it ever since. He keeps referring to the date as "Baker's Dozen Day."

❌ I told him to cut it out, and now he's calling it "Friday the Onety-Third."

❌ Just in case anyone wondered whether he's still annoying.

[dontasktheradiodemon]

🎶 It can't be any worse than that orzo jambalaya I was served last year. Cheers!

dontasktheradiodemon​:

🎶 I don’t smoke, did anyone bring edibles to this thing?

> “I didn’t, but you can dump the contents of this blunt into the jambalaya–”

[dontasktheradiodemon]

🎶 I don't smoke, did anyone bring edibles to this thing?

> "Deerly beloveds, I regret to inform you that I have puff-puff-passed away--"

[dontasktheradiodemon]

[Astor is absolutely there. He even wore a nice suit. When he gets up to Alexa's casket he's looking him up and down and going "Well ONE of us has got to change."

Their suits don't even look alike.]

> Set scene for the weirdest wake ever. The Clock-Tower plaza has been illusion-magicked into neon and deer motifs! An open casket sits at the foot of the tower. In it, Local Alastor, showing off his inability to sit properly: upright, perpendicular to the casket's orientation, ass in the bed of the casket, back against the open lid, and his feet dangling out. And he's absolutely hitting that blunt. Don't let that formal suit or that embalming-style stage makeup fool you, he will be clowning out.

> There's food! He made food for his own damn wake. And there's space for anyone else to bring dishes or leave flower. We vibe.

[ This is a public event! Alts and friends are invited! He's also a public enough figure that he expects honestly really anyone to show up - - listener, friend, foe, curious sinner, people who know he's not dead, people who think he's really dead, whatever!]

[dontasktheradiodemon]

(( Bringing this back in light of the current dash comm. ))

[dontasktheradiodemon]

@furby-organist

[dontasktheradiodemon]

🎶 It's so hard to find good help! You'd think they'd be more sympathetic, considering what a challenging time you're going through!

> “Good afternoon, ladies, gentlemen, and those that lie betwixt! I’ve had the pleasure of discovering something very interesting about myself today! The tabloids are always so informative, you know – but this really takes the cake!”

> “Was anyone aware that I was killed last night? By a disgruntled sinner with exterminator weaponry? Someone ought to have told me! I’d have put my coffee down!”

[dontasktheradiodemon]

🎶 I'm terribly sorry to hear of your loss. When's your funeral?

> “Good afternoon, ladies, gentlemen, and those that lie betwixt! I’ve had the pleasure of discovering something very interesting about myself today! The tabloids are always so informative, you know – but this really takes the cake!”

> “Was anyone aware that I was killed last night? By a disgruntled sinner with exterminator weaponry? Someone ought to have told me! I’d have put my coffee down!”

[dontasktheradiodemon]

🎶 Good day, listeners! It's been a while since I've posted a picture show, hasn't it? Let's change that!

🎶 It's been almost a year since I posted the first installment in a series about a gay detective solving gay crimes—so it's high time I post another! This one features the detective infiltrating the office of a therapist who's dedicated his life to helping queer people become unqueer—and get this: the therapist is the one painted as a villain! Yessir, the times have changed!

https://youtu.be/peqkwfWjd80

(If you get a "this video is age restricted" notice just click the above link to watch it on youtube)

[dontasktheradiodemon]

🎶 Isn't it just! That's enameled cast iron, too! Beautiful and functional! You won't find better quality!

Sniffle.

“That cookware is beautiful.”

( mentioned: @dontasktheradiodemon )

[dontasktheradiodemon]

🎶 You get it!

🎶 I can show you where I picked it up. They've increased the shop's defenses since the last time I was there, but their magical security's still abysmal.

🎶 Say, speaking of getting all hot and bothered over pans, do you all want to see my new enameled cast iron cookware set?!

[dontasktheradiodemon]

🎶 Remember when I said I'd settled down and my days of shamelessly ogling other cookware sets were behind me?

🎶 I lied. Name the time and date!

@dontasktheradiodemon x "Not to be too forward, or worse, ungentlemanly, but could I interest you in a trip to the kitchenware store?"

[dontasktheradiodemon]

wow that cookware set is a real beaut

🎶 Isn't it just! Prettiest cookware ever made, if you asked me! Oh, I would have killed to afford a set just like it when I was alive. But I finally got my hands on 'em!

[dontasktheradiodemon]

YES

🎶 I see I've got listeners with refined tastes!

[dontasktheradiodemon]

🎶 I think you've already seen it! But oh, I haven't shown you my newest addition!

🎶 Now, isn't that just the darnedest thing!

🎶 Say, speaking of getting all hot and bothered over pans, do you all want to see my new enameled cast iron cookware set?!