dontfuckthemalachitestalactite

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[dontfuckthemalachitestalactite]

[dontfuckthemalachitestalactite]

One detail you could always expect to see in Queen albums was the “no synthesizers” thing but in Roger’s Fun in Space album you can find “157 synthesizers” in the notes

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For only $20 you too can fuck Satan

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS CREAM. TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK. 

MEMORIZE THE PACKAGING SO YOU MAKE SURE YOU NEVER BUY THIS CREAM FOR YOURSELF OR ANYONE YOU LOVE.

This post is about vaginas. My vagina in particular. I get yeast infections pretty regularly, and until recently I was able to afford to see a doctor who could prescribe me fluconazole.

Fluconazole, a drug also known by the brand name Diflucan, is a small pink pill. You take two pills a few days apart from each other to restore balance and harmony to your bountiful folds. I’ve never ever had a bad side effect from taking this pill.

Cut to November 2016. I’m a recent college grad without reliable health care coverage in the process of finding a job. And I’m dealing with a yeast infection. Before I moved out of state, my previous doctor told me about Miconazole. She said it was as effective as the pill and hallelujah, it’s over the counter! I decided to purchase the cream pictured above. This treatment only lasted 3 days, a convenient time frame for my schedule.

The application process was a little messy, and some of the cream came in contact with my vulva and labia. Within 5 minutes every piece of skin that had come in contact with the cream, excluding my hands, was on fire. I wanted to scream it was so painful. I began frantically searching for what I should do online. 

I found a whole forum of people on drugs.com who had experienced something similar. These comments saved me, and these were just on the first page. There were 33 pages total, the earliest dated July 2009.

I was writhing in pain at 2AM when I found this forum (which I found by searching “my vagina burn itch hurts after miconazole” on Google). As soon as I read these comments I threw the devil cream directly into the trash and jumped in the shower. I didn’t feel any actual relief until I reached in and scraped the cream out of me. I paid $17 plus tax on this bullshit, but I could have just as easily ripped up my money or paid someone to not hurt me. 

The moral of the story is that vaginal health care is is completely fucked up because we don’t have access to an over the counter cure for yeast infections that is safe for our bodies and also YOU SHOULD NEVER BUY THIS CREAM EVER.

Reblog to save a vagina.

[dontfuckthemalachitestalactite]

“assigning genders to babies is wrong”

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rb this with ur opinion on this shade of pink:

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Quartz var. Amethyst (Cactus Quartz) from Boekenhouthoek area, Mpumalanga Province, South Africa

[dontfuckthemalachitestalactite]

F

[dontfuckthemalachitestalactite]

But seriously, if alien PLANTS ever show up, citrus and oaks are going to be trying to breed with them IMMEDIATELY. 

We make fun of ourselves for being willing to fuck aliens, but I guarantee you that citrus and oaks are right there with us, aggressively trying to cross-pollinate with any new and interesting conquests. 

[dontfuckthemalachitestalactite]

“Guess who’s just got murdered?”

“Guys I got the whole thing planned”

“What kind of woman don’t have an axe”

“Whaaaat Terry loves yogurt”

“Gina the human form of the 💯 emoji”

“I’m in a state of joy”

Jake Peralta, Amy Santiago, Rosa Diaz, Terry Jeffords, Gina Linetti, Captain Raymond Holt and Cheddar by Gabriel Picolo

Gabriel’s Twitter: (@_gabrielpicolo): https://twitter.com/_gabrielpicolo?s=09

Gabriel’s Instagram: (@/picolo) https://instagram.com/_picolo?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=1egxb64grsnpf

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[dontfuckthemalachitestalactite]

If I was ever slated to meet Donald Trump, I’d stuff my pockets with those little hand sanitizer bottles. Every time he’d shake my hand, I’d immediately take one out and squirt the whole bottle. Make a whole spectacle of it, sanitizing my entire right arm. But only after shaking his hand; I’d also be sure to shake the hands of as many other people as possible, but never even think about hand sanitizer until SCROTUS is reaching towards me. Hell, maybe as we’re going in for the shake I’d already have my left hand in my pocket, very dramatically digging for a hand sanitizer so I could be cleaned the moment our hands part. Can you imagine the fucking headlines? The drama? I’d be the target of Turnip’s angry tweets for months. His lapdogs nazis voters would be outraged, screaming obsenities for DARING to attempt voodoo on their god bc they don’t understand cleanliness or germ theory. It would be awesome. I’d be an international hero for washing my hands.

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might fuck around and drink the daily recommended amount of water

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“I appreciate effort. No matter how small, silly or irrelevant, I appreciate effort.”

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Polished Malachite Stalactite - Copper Crescent, Congo

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Anyway, do you guys want to see my Cool Rocks?

This is my grandfather’s rock.  It is Probably a Garnet, which he mined out himself when he was in college studying to be a geologist.

Though you may assume this is a Small Rock, it is in fact a very Large Rock, and also a very Heavy Rock, but most especially a very Square Rock, which is what makes it particularly cool.

Here we have a rock which used to be a tree.  This rock is petrified wood!  It was one of my very first Cool Rocks!

Speaking of rocks that used to be things that were not rocks, this rock is Petoskey stone!  This rock used to be a coral.  Let’s get a good look at those patterns.

Now that’s a Cool Rock!

Amethyst?  It’s an Okay Rock.  If you are looking for an inexpensive rock to start your collection, amethyst is the way to go.  It’s a quartz with a deep purple color.  A very nice, if average, rock.

Now citrine… Citrine is a Cool Rock!  It’s a smoky quartz with a lovely honey color.  The druzy on my chunk of citrine has a wonderful sparkle.

This is my Amazonite!  It grew that hexagon shape all by itself!!  This specimen is from Colorado.

Look at this shiny little slice of rock!  This rock is Tiger Iron, and those bands of red and orange glow beautifully with some light behind them.  These different colored bands are made from Hematite (the dark silver), Jasper (the red-orange), and Tiger-Eye quartz (the yellow-orange).

Here’s a rock you’ve probably seen before!  This Cool Rock is Malachite.  The patterns and rings are from the stalagmites this little egg was carved from.

Whoa, look at this giant slab of Extremely Cool Rock!!!  These crystals formed in the cracks of fossilized mud, to make the awesome patterns in this geode of Septarian!  This is my second best rock.

This is my Best and most Favorite Cool Rock.  In this dark room it’s a dull little grey rock, but if I move it closer to the light…

Those glints of gold!  Those veins of blue!  This rock is most certainly Labradorite, which changes color spectacularly when the light hits it just right.  Let’s put it in direct sunlight.

Yes!!  YES!!  There it is!!  The Best and Coolest Rock!!!!!

[dontfuckthemalachitestalactite]

When I walk into the mall and see Christmas decorations up the day after Halloween, I feel the same way Hamlet did when his mom married his annoying uncle so shortly after his father’s death.