doomdaddytop

[doomdaddytop]

ONE LAST TIME

CHOI SU-BONG X DYING READER

summary: myunggi is an asshole and tries to off you in the fourth game. you start thinking about life and your mistakes when a person you thought was dead appears.

warnings: talk of suicide, death, depressed reader, crazy myunggi, ANGST.

you could never explain the feeling again. deep misery, profound pain and infinite exhaustion that never seemed to go away. what world you had fallen into, that you had long forgotten. nothing seemed to help. the state of disconnecting had been there before this hellhole. now it had just gotten worse. you had dropped low, a new low that would never let you get quite up. the suffering will stay and so will you.

things weren't the same anymore. the white walls weren't the same, the green tracksuit didn't feel the same and even your brain didn't function properly. you were seeing things that weren't there, imagining things that couldn't be real. your brain was a mess. it was so mashed that even itself couldn't figure out what it wanted or not. and your body? that just moved on its own, grasping for some sort of safety.

the blood running down your head hit the ground, a heavy drip sound ringing in your head. your eyes were frantic, moving around the walls to try to spot something, anything. everything was the same. screams followed in the distance and a pair of hands grabbed your hair. you body lifted, setting flight, but quickly got dropped down on the ground again.

asshole, lee myunggi. he deserved to die. if you had any strength you'd punch him till he fell down, just like he did when everyone else was watching. at the time you thought he was innocent. now you just wanted him dead. the burning hatred grew in you every day, every hour, every minute, every second. the second he got out of that bathroom, covered in HIS blood, was the moment you knew he didn't deserve to live.

the ground felt hard again. your warm body felt another surge of pain go through it, mind too tired to even register the throbbing sensations around your head. your vision started to get fuzzy and things started duplicating. now your body was completely limp, even the excruciating ache in your head was gone. it was almost time, it had to be. that sucker myunggi was close to finishing you off and you'd be dead by his hands. what an asshole.

your eyes flickered, a soft smile appearing on your face. the pain was gone, finally you could let it all go. your vision relaxed again, the night sky celling looking more comforting than ever. at least you could die here, under the starts. this setting was definitely better than some of the others. dying in a bathroom sounded cold, cruel. you had just gotten lucky that you made it this far. that fucking mg coin.

your eyes closed, but flickered opened one last time. a silhouette appeared in front of your eyes. your mind was playing tricks with you again, it wanted you to suffer before you left this earth. this planet was a cruel place, these people were insane. now, last time thinking over things, you can confidently say that coming here was a mistake. a large mistake that you would have to leave with. it didn't matter anyway, in a minute you wouldn't even have the possibility of thinking. the body will shut down along with your mind. hopefully you can stay under the starts forever.

his sharp brown eyes stared back at you, seemingly lost in thought. the purple hair blended nicely with the starry celling. his green tracksuit looked surprisingly clean. you had imagined it got bloody in the fight. his presence felt needed, it was like this moment couldn't be right without him. your brain got too tired of trying to avoid the tricks, it was time to watch. these last seconds needed to be peaceful.

"giving up so easily? why?" his deep voice rang through your head, the idea of a quietly floating away leaving your mind. this always happened when he was around. all of your thoughts seemed to drift away and only focus on him.

you couldn't answer. your mouth didn't move anymore and if you could, you didn't want to say. this wasn't giving up easily to you. three games survive, how many did he want you to win? you had used more strength and energy during these games than you had ever in your life. that isn't giving up easily. you tried your best. the body just goes limp when it wants to.

he didn't need to hear you answer; he knew what you were thinking. it was clear he didn't appreciate your answer. the body moved, head disapprovingly shaking at you. your brain was forced to stay awake now. there was no way you were going to leave with this picture as your last memory. if your mind wanted hallucinate, fine, but it could at least be a nice one. this guilt-shaming was only going to make things worse. you just wanted to peacefully go.

"you miss me this much?" his sharp gaze softened as you let out a soft whimper. it wasn't on purpose, it skipped out of your mouth. although that sound might have not been involuntary, his words did seem to affect you in a deeper way. the thoughts had crossed your mind before, but you just didn't want to admit them to yourself.

how could you not miss him? how would it be possible to not miss him at all?

blood started dripping from your mouth, an episode of coughs leaving your mouth. that only meant that you were not done on this earth yet. your head leaned against the ground beneath you, too tired of having it laying on your hand. your eyes, these almost dead eyes, were still sat on him. it was impossible to look away. the mind trick, that was him, had worked well on you.

"you don't deserve to die. not like this, not by that fucking asshole. you're going to get up and stand tall." he was always talking, always interrupting good moments. it really seemed a hobby of his. you couldn't stay mad at him, his talkativeness was something you admired much in him. didn't matter what situation you were in, the words kept coming out and sentences kept building up. it made sense why he had become a rapper.

"my time is done, yours isn't. if you don't want to do this for yourself, do it for me. just fucking listen to me for once." his words could not be ignored anymore. they started ringing through your head again, not letting you even think for a second.

your hand slowly moved. it moved completely on its own, instinctively reaching out. the ground felt rough under your hand, it scrapping closer to his body. the energy was gone from your body, but somehow your hand was moving again. it was dragging itself to the one person you had been dreading to see. the person who had caused you so much pain in the last hours of your life. it wasn't his fault, you knew that, but it didn't make the heartache feel any better.

your hand slowly moved. it moved completely on its own, instinctively reaching out. the ground felt rough under your hand, it scrapping closer to his body. the energy was gone from your body, but somehow your hand was moving again. it was dragging itself to the one person you had been dreading to see. the person who had caused you so much pain in the last hours of your life. it wasn't his fault, you knew that, but it didn't make the heartache feel any better.

his hand settled into yours, fingers intertwining the moment they touched. who was to say this wasn't real? you felt his fingers, warm and soft, you heard his voice, clear and steady. to you, he was here. your mind could play however many tricks it could want, but none of their legitimacy interested you. he was in front of you and that was all that mattered to you.

your eyes started to drift off again, flickering close. once your eyes had reopened again, the silhouette of the man you loved was gone. it had disappeared, evaporated into the darkness. his purple hair was nowhere to be seen, no colorful nails in the atmosphere nor any silver cross necklaces hanging around about. he was gone again and you were left to defend yourself on this earth.

why did you have to leave so soon subong? life had given you a second chance but it had taken it away as soon as you tried living it.

was your second life's purpose to help me not end mine? if so, i would give my life away so you could happily live yours again.