doomed-silly
doomed-silly
I
36 posts
I'm sad and cry easily and like death games. Guess all my diagnoses!
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doomed-silly · 17 days ago
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wauw!! can you draw. Mini amane <33
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She's not even one apple tall...
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doomed-silly · 22 days ago
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Some of the many ways Amane’s case could be treated in the US legal system
Idk how to link a pdf without doxxing myself i fear so here’s multiple pictures instead
I typed this on my phone so sorry for typos because i definitely did not proofread
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doomed-silly · 22 days ago
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scribbles for you <3 (@lavender-tea-dragon @papayakito @twstedsword @bravadoting)
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doomed-silly · 23 days ago
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i forget to post here sometimes
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doomed-silly · 23 days ago
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if it was by deco27 it would’ve been a fuuta song
bonus:
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doomed-silly · 23 days ago
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Bickering
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doomed-silly · 23 days ago
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Salvation
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doomed-silly · 23 days ago
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amaneism thursday 10
also transparent version of the chibis bc idk if i like it with the bg or not I'M INDECISIVE
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doomed-silly · 23 days ago
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amaneism thursday 5 ft. yuno
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doomed-silly · 23 days ago
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cults? prisons? not sure what you're talking about...amane is just a weird little kid and fuuta is her incredibly underqualified babysitter
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doomed-silly · 23 days ago
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happy amane day!! amanes over the past year or so to celebrate
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doomed-silly · 23 days ago
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i am kind of staring at the duality between this interaction between kotoko and amane and their first..
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always a big fan of when you get to see their interpersonal relationships change and now you are in part responsible. like yes... the consequences of your actions
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doomed-silly · 23 days ago
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little doodle for amane's birthday! featuring That ginger i guess...
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doomed-silly · 1 month ago
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i forgor my tumblr login for a while so here's a bit of a recap... massive collection of fuuta stuff from twitter ft. some other characters!
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doomed-silly · 2 months ago
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AMANE IS SO TRAGIC
Alright back on my Amane defender kick because once we start getting into the swing of trial 3 that poor girl is going to get beat down asf
I might talk more about her in general story, but this post specifically is about her beef with Shidou (which is funny on paper I just had to say that)
TRIAL 3 SPOILERS BELOW BUT YOU GOTTA CATCH UP SMH
Alright I feel like a lot of people even Amane defenders kind of gloss over her Shidou murder. “She’s against medical care” and on the face of it yes that’s why she killed him, BUT I also think her psychology about the situation goes a lot deeper than just that.
I think I’ve talked about this in a past post, but ADHD so whatever.
So let’s establish some base boards. Amane is not only raised from birth in a cult, but she’s also absolutely going through religious psychosis as well as some sort of “prophet complex” (I say prophet because she’s leading her new sect of this religion, but she’s still a PART of that religion). I also think a lot of Amane antis try to point to her first trial voice drama to say “she didn’t kill her mother in self defense it was a religious motivator she knew what she was doing.” I do think that’s basically the most surface level take ever, but if you have that take sure. I also think when looking at the lyrics of purge march it does kind of shatter this level headed grateful follower persona Amane was trying to portray. In purge march she is very clearly angry saying things along the lines of “remember my cries, my repents, etc”. I think she was religiously motivated not in the sense her mom wasn’t following the religion, so she felt like she had to then punish her, but that she realized the hypocrisies in the religion and it broke her which then led to her murdering her mother. To kill her mother and then call it self defense would then be her having to admit her religion was used to hurt her and that she was upset at that fact. In trial 1 we can see she is still using her religion for comfort, so she’s not ready to confront the fact that she’s actually questioning her faith. I also think that’s why after being voted guilty in trial 1 we got purge march. Milgram effectively scared her back to her religion. I don’t think in trial 1 “magic” she’s hard core questioning her faith, but I do think the seeds were there. I could see a trial 1 innocent verdict starting her path towards possibly getting less intense about her religion with her repeated question of “can I still be a good girl?” And her giving care to the cat being affirmed, but I also think it could’ve made her think her religion is right. Either way I think an innocent verdict was the only way to keep her at bay.
Anyway all of that wraps back around to her IN milgram. Being voted guilty essentially sent her running back to her religion full speed, but I also think that an inno trial 1 would’ve helped her path to healing because after being voted guilty her immediate reaction was to believe in her religion even HARDER, but also see it as the “old” religion for lack of a better term as not harsh enough. Once she got an innocent verdict in trial 2 that essentially sealed her fate with her beliefs. An innocent verdict affirms a prisoners beliefs so when she presents purge march and her new mindset and gets affirmation for that she just sees that as “Oh I WAS correct the old version of my religion didn’t work but no religion also doesn’t work so I need to be the one to fix it.”
(Little side note I hate the milgram fandom acting like everything about the story is so out of our hands when the whole series is built on its audience interactivity, but that’s a different post)
So now we get to the elephant in the room Shidou. Alright. Just on the face of it Shidou is literally a living example of a sinner to Amane. Once she got the affirmation a more violent approach to her religion is the way to go of course shidou would’ve been her first target. I think if you just end the analysis there though that chops off a huge part of her mindset that’s really interesting.
Alright so we know for a fact that Amane is against medical care, she uses her religion as justification for her actions because a lot of her actions are actually not in service of her religion but she’s so brainwashed she can’t let that be true, and she’s also now been essentially told it’s her job to be the leader of this new “Amaneism”.
So yes she killed shidou because hes a sinner. But she also killed him because to her his death is closure, and almost penance. So let’s go through Amane’s crime. Amane was giving medical care to a cat and she was caught by somebody in the church who then told her mother. Once Amane got home she was punished for breaking the rules by getting tazed. Once she goes back to the cats spot and realizes that either her mother or somebody in the cult did something to that cat (most likely killed it). This is where Amane starts to break. In purge march we see her disconnect from reality in the umbrella transition which from there she goes back home and kills her mother.
So looking at all of this. In AMANE’S head medical care is the specific reason she ended up in milgram. Now I’d say it’s heavily implied and basically shown Amane killed her mother not for religious reasons, but because of the abuse she endured (which I talked about earlier), but in her head it was religious. Amane broke the rules of her religion specifically around medical care which then spurred her to murder. So to Amane giving somebody/thing medical care caused her to end up in milgram. And once in milgram she was subjected to things like the guilty verdict.
Now. We have Shidou. Yes shidou is the living embodiment of a primary sin of Amane’s religion, BUT more importantly to Amane he is a physical representation of why she is here. To Amane he’s not just someone who daily goes against her religion, he is a living showcase of Amane’s greatest shame and reason for even being in Milgram. Did Amane kill Shidou for sinning? Yes. That’s not up for debate. I would propose the theory however that while that may have been the superficial reason, she had to kill him not just because amaneism is more violent, but because now that she’s fully embraced this religion she has to let go of the part of herself or honestly to her what she sees as a weakness. For her killing Shidou is a rectifying of her past mistakes and maybe on an even deeper subconscious level a way for her to let out her anger about even being in Milgram
Some final thoughts below
One thing I really dislike about the milgram fandom and especially with Amane is that they don’t treat her as a kid. Actually on top of that they don’t treat her as a kid, or a victim of abuse, or a brainwashed cult member. Especially all of those things together.
Amane quite literally can not be a reliable narrator because of how much she’s gone through and because of the ages she’s gone through it. It’s the same in real life when kids are raised in Christianity and with their full hearts see a lot of things they do as sinful and cry over going to Hell.
To look at Amane go “I killed my victim because I had to impart justice on my victim in the name of my religion” and take that as 100% fact, exactly what she thinks, and think that there is no nuance or even more behind that statement is ludicrous.
You can apply this to basically all of the prisoners in some way. Mahiru says over and over she just had a normal relationship and just loved as anyone else did, but even in her first trial song is showing that she doesn’t fully believe that. And the prisoners aren’t just able to alter the videos to get a verdict they want it is a reflection of what’s going on inside their heads. Mahiru even says I’m not a great singer I hope it’s ok. Prisoners talk about Es and their thoughts on their crimes and the music videos with estimation implying they don’t know what Es saw.
Amane isn’t different. “Magic” would not be so conflicted if she truly had zero doubts or if she was 100% honest that her murder was solely religiously motivated. After her punishment montage in “Magic” she gets up with the spirals in her eye which is basically always short hand for brain washing or not being in control of ones actions. It’s actually baffling to me that other prisoners will get hordes of people clamoring to point out every reason why a prisoner is innocent, or guilty, or why you should look at what they’re saying differently, but when it’s Amane’s turn it’s crickets.
Amane’s age, trauma, and upbringing is INTEGRAL to her crime and CHARACTER. No Amane is not to be taken at face value. If you talk to a child in real life that’s gone through HALF of what Amane has gone through you wouldn’t immediately expect them to be of sound mind. Sometimes I get genuinely confused when I see people try to act like Amane isn’t extremely tragic and that she’s just some religious zealot who is pure evil and can never be listened to
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I always start these posts thinking I’m just gonna have a quick 5 paragraph post and then I end up typing like it’s my dissertation so um anyways. thanks for reading LOL
(Yes I add all the hashtags I can think of don’t judge me)
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doomed-silly · 3 months ago
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OP really drew an exact representation of what happened to me last time I went to a salon 😭except I went from like yuno long hair to a bob basically amanes length but asymmetrical. So OP pay for my therapy xp
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I messed up we gotta go bald
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doomed-silly · 3 months ago
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Yooooo what? Lowkey goated LOL good to know that there's some people out there reading the absolute word vomit my brain comes up some random minute of the day
So I primarily have posted milgram content but I NEED to talk about ochako and toga from my hero academia so bad
FULL MHA SPOILERS BELOW
LIKE EVEN STUFF THAT HASNT BEEN ANIMATED
With that out of the way im specifically wanting to talk about toga and ochako in terms of neurodivergency, privilege, and social norms.
Starting with Toga to me shes well first off canonically LGBT (pan specifically I believe), but to me she reads neurodivergent. Not so much in behavior but in her role in the story/how shes treated. She has a quirk that's at first glance not seen as "normal". She exhibits behaviors that are alarming and also not "normal". You can probably see where im going here, but Toga was born into a system that had 1. Decided before she was born that she was someone who needed to be changed to fit the mold and 2. Born into a system that prioritized the status quo over her as a person.
Moving onto ochako, I'd argue that ochako exhibits extreme levels of affection like Toga does. The key difference is Ochako does it in a socially acceptable way. Ochakos quirk does not predispose her to expressing love differently from the majority of people. Ochako is a very affectionate loving person, and she is empathetic at heart.
So after setting up some basic information where am I going with this? I wanted to talk about privlidge and ostracization. Since im relating toga specifically back to autism I'll be speaking in those terms. Toga shows affection and love based on the genetic makeup she was born with. Toga is simply doing what is natural to her. When someone who is autistic is born its the same way. We are autistic. The way we show love or socialize or anything that autism effects (which is mostly everything) is inherent to our autism. Once Toga starts deviating from what's considered normal shes sent to get professional help. In this case and what most cases are irl its not about helping the autistic individual acclimate to their surroundings and cope with them its about teaching them to act in a way that's deemed more acceptable. This can be seen with Toga when shes literally told to "quit smiling like that". Just our facial expressions are enough to upset people. I know plenty of autistic people who had to practice their facial expressions in the mirror. But anyways after this Toga quite literally starts masking the visual cue of this is a LITERAL mask she wears. For anyone who doesn't know irl with autism masking is the process of someone who's autistic presenting as neurotypical (not autistic). However this is an extremely draining process. And when you reach a point you can experience burn out which then effects everything in your life including your ability to mask. Toga broke she couldn't keep masking which led to her drinking the blood of her crush. So just some quick recaps Toga was born with a system that was built to force her to conform or face ridicule otherwise.
Next is ochako. In terms of privlidge ochako isn't rich (the poor jokes were plentiful), but compared to Toga it comes down to her quirk. Ochakos quirk doesn't effect her behavior or at least the way she presents to people. She's the type of girl people love. Translating that to irl ochako could be considered neurotypical. Ill speak more about ochako later but for now that's the info that's relevant.
We hear first hand from Toga she doesn't understand why how she expresses love is wrong. To her it is inherent. And irl id say majority of autistic people dont drink blood to show their love BUT we do typically approach love differently than neurotypical people. They literally made a whole show about dating while autistic. And this is where ochako comes in. She grew up in a system that benefited her. She never had to think about her expression of self because the system never faulted her for how she expressed herself. When she is first interacting with Toga shes still trusting the system because she doesn't have the life experience or personal connections to realize that some people are not only struggling under the system but are actively demonized under it. From there toga is able to find her chosen family and ochako attempts to connect with Toga. But now I want to go to their final confrontation. At this point Toga is beaten down. Ochako is fully embracing the fact she was wrong and she wants to understand and help Toga but at this point Toga doesn't have an interest in the system anymore. And I think where it starts getting heart breaking but also really interesting is that ochako is actively taking hit after hit from Toga but still choosing to connect vs fight. Toga has never had someone who was apart of the system willing to reach out to her like this but especially to that degree. And I think the final push Toga and ochako needed was ochako acknowledging that Toga suffered not because of the fact shes a villain and has a quirk that makes her act a certain way, but because this system was not designed to help her. And ochako completely opening up to Toga at her worst literally not shielding herself when Toga goes to stab her shows Toga a level of care and willingness to understand and love her that she till now didnt think could happen for her. Toga desires love and connection. In her own words she falls in love too easily with everyone and everything. She so desperately wants people to accept her and love her, but because she was born in a way that was deemed incorrect shes barred from the connection she wants. Seeing ochako not only accept her but actively fight to get through to her is that connection she longs for. Not just love but a signifier of validation and acceptance that she didn't deserve what happened to her in her past and that people can love her outside of the bounds of what's "normal"
And i think that culminates to Togas question "am I cute?". On the face of it its a bit of a juvenile question. To Toga though this isn't juvenile because to her its her finally being able to let go of the hatred people gave her.
I think what's so heart breaking about Toga is what she even says in her final monologue. Maybe if there were more people like ochako or someone had reached out earlier things could've been different. Toga didnt need to be fixed she just needed support.
And from there we can get more into ochako. During her confrontation with Toga she specifically mentions realizing there's more than just her family that needs help and to me I read that as her acknowledging what extends past her world view. So many neurotypical people or anyone not part of a marginalized group are very resistant to being open to learning past what they know. But ochako saw there's more to the world then just her and she then took action to educate herself and extend empathy. Her monologue to Toga is exhibiting this like when she talks about how she thought Toga smiling while doing awful things meant she liked hurting people and then proceeding to say Togas smile was perfect. Ochako is at this point fully accepting her position of privilege. She is able to see her own prejudices and shes also not only wanting to talk and get closer to toga but is willing to extend an offer that benefits toga and not the system. Ochako has been viewing toga through the lens of the system they grew up in, so once she realizes she was wrong she can't just expect toga to work within those constraints. Toga has been doing that her whole life which led her here. Ochako takes accountability and also makes the space comfortable for toga by saying she'll give her as much blood as she wants. Ochako is fully embracing toga as she is and not what shes "supposed" to be.
I think in the time skip ochako continuing to use her time to help kids like toga is also a testament to her character. I really do believe this whole arc is a beautiful way to encapsulate how autistic people are disregarded and mistreated by our society and also shows how far acceptance and understanding can go.
"This world might not be a comfortable place for you to live in" is the line that has me constantly thinking about these two. It's rare im so moved by a piece of dialogue that it makes me rethink my life. But for all of MHA's faults im glad we have toga and ochako
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