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Pablo Neruda (1904 - 1973)
XVII (I do not love you…)
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
Translated by Stephen Tapscott
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Is there any fics as cute as this!...Recs please!
Harry
“Harry Potter!” Zabini called, “You already know the drill. Truth, or Dare?”
Harry sighed, and said, “Truth.”
(The last thing he wanted to do was a gay dare, especially now, at the time his feelings were already all over the place. Especially with Ginny watching closely – her eyes had never left his spot the entire evening – and Dra – Malfoy, grinning at him constantly.)
“All right.” Zabini cleared his throat, and asked: “You admitted during Potions the other day that you’d fantasized about sleeping with someone in your class. Who was the subject of said fantasies?”
Harry’s mouth dropped open, his eyes quickly scooting toward the blonde boy sitting next to Zabini before returning. “I – Dare.”
“What?”
Harry coughed, trying to keep his voice even. “I take Dare, instead. That’s possible, right?”
Zabini blinked a couple times too many. “Yes,” he said reluctantly, “but, why? Is it that embarrassing?”
I am not blushing. “Just give me a dare.”
“Oh, my,” Malfoy started laughing, pointing a finger at Harry accusingly. The Slytherin was positively drunk, but he wasn’t slurring yet. “This is interesting. Even Hermione admitted she’s thought Blaise over here,” he clasped his best friend’s shoulder, “wouldn’t be too bad in bed. Everyone here has been embarrassed thoroughly tonight. So who could you possibly be fantasizing about that is so much worse?”
Harry grimaced. You really don’t want to know. “Give. Me. The. Dare.”
Zabini put up his hands quickly. “Right, right, no need to get testy. I’ll give you a dare, but if you refuse to do it, you have to answer the question, all right?”
Harry nodded, thinking he’d rather shag the whole lot of them than admit who’d been on his mind lately.
“Well,” Zabini started, taking a sip from his nearly-empty glass, “Then I dare you to kiss whoever you’ve fantasized about.”
Harry opened his mouth… and closed it again. “Hey!” he protested finally, and he tried to ignore the whole group laughing around him. (Didn’t work, but he still tried.) “That’s not fair, I’m sure it’s against the rules!”
Even Ginny was laughing at his expense. “There aren’t any rules, other than that you have to go through with this dare.”
“I – just…” Harry groaned. “Fine. Just know you’re all going to hell for this. Including you, Ron,” he added, almost punching his best friend laughing his ass off. “You’re supposed to be supportive!”
Ron wiped his eyes, still grinning. “This is pay-back for that Potion class, mate. Enjoy snogging the girl of your dreams.”
Something in Harry’s stomach dropped, and all his insides turned ice-cold with disappointment. “Yeah,” he said softly, his eyes scooting away to look at the other side of the circle. “Thanks.”
“Harry, wait,” Hermione leaned in closer, and she whispered in his ear, her hand gripped around his arm, “just go kiss him. It’s okay.”
He jumped from her touch, as if burned. “Hermione..”
“I know.” She tried to smile for him, but it looked as if it cost a lot of effort. “It’s okay.”
He needn’t ask what she knew. (Even if he barely knew it, himself.)
He turned away from her, cleared his throat, and started to walk around the circle. “Just know,” he said, ignoring all the girls looking at him in anticipation, “that it isn’t anything special.”
“Isn’t it?” Zabini called, laughing, “I figured it’d be an honor to be the subject of the Golden Boy’s sex dreams!”
“Fuck off, Blaise,” Harry found himself saying, before he stopped right in front of him and his best friend. “You’re already in deep trouble enough as it is.”
The dark-skinned Slytherin suddenly cursed, realizing why Harry had stopped right in front of their couch. “Holy shit,” he said, his eyes widening comically. “Holy shit,” he repeated as Harry got down on his knees in front of Malfoy. “I never… not in my wildest… Holy f–“
“Shut up, Blaise,” Harry snapped, his eyes on the blonde boy before him. Malfoy’s hands were shaking slightly, and he looked like he wanted to run for his life.
“Potter,” Malfoy began, his voice soft. The only reason he could be heard was that no one in the room was breathing, let alone dared to make a sound that could interrupt them. “What in the name of Merlin do you think you’re doing?”
Draco
Potter had been cursed.
Threatened.
Maybe his friends had been threatened.
Because there could not be another explanation as to why the Savior of the wizarding world was sitting on his knees, hands on either side of Draco’s legs, and his green, green, green eyes focused only on Draco’s lips.
Potter needed to leave.
Potter needed to go before Draco did something stupid.
Before Draco would lose all self-control and kiss the infuriating boy first.
Harry
Harry exhaled softly, watching Malfoy’s eyelashes flutter against his eyelids.
(Why were Malfoy’s eyelashes so white? He’d probably painted them that way just to spite him, Harry thought, his insides turning to jelly.)
Malfoy really needed to stop blushing, needed to stop shaking, needed to just stop being so infuriatingly and undoubtedly beautiful before Harry’d do something they’d all regret.
But, Harry thought, leaning forward, there really was no turning back now.
Draco
When Harry – because of course he was Harry, he had always been Harry, from his soft vanilla smelling hair to his worn-out and ugly trainers – leaned forward, his lips perched and his eyes closing slowly Draco was sure he’d died and gone to heaven.
Draco just had a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, like when you’re swimming and you want to put your feet down on something solid but you’re deeper than you think and there’s nothing there.
That feeling was probably a side-effect of waiting for Harry Potter to finally, finally, finally move and kiss him.
So Draco leaned forward and kissed him instead.
Harry
Draco was soft.
Were all boys this soft?
Had his arch-nemesis always felt this way?
This softness, this excruciatingly perfectness, hiding behind all the snarks, insults and smirks?
I really should have kissed him first.
Draco
He was the Slytherin Ice Prince, heir of the Malfoy fortune, ex-convict and sure Death Eater in everyone’s eyes.
And he was absolutely, undoubtedly and completely in love with Harry Potter.
- x
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