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My personal philosophy of nursing
My personal philosophy of nursing consists of three tenets. First one is to be a competent nurse. It is one of the most important tenets of being a nurse in my opinion. When a nurse is well educated, they are capable of caring for a variety of patients with many different situations that need guidance from diverse angles. It is especially essential to be well rounded within the field of nursing in situations that need immediate care such as codes or patients who come to the emergency department. When situations such as codes occur, a nurse must be proficient in the knowledge needed to act quickly and do what they believe is best for the patient. Patients want health care professionals to care for them that know what they need to do for the patients and why. Their health is at stake here. Virginia Henderson said “Empathy coupled with knowledge and interest on the part of the nurse will enhance the healing process.”
When one is competent and confident in the knowledge it is easier for the patients to trust the nurse and to listen to their advice. Which leads us to the second tenet I believe is another crucial tenet nurses must depict in their words and actions. It is to be genuine. One must genuinely care for their patients to build a strong nurse and patient relationship and to promote trust within the relationship as well. When the patient trusts the nurse, it relieves the patient of stress and paranoia which can be inhibiting them from getting better. When patients don’t trust their nurse, it is obvious. They are constantly calling for them, reminding them that it is time for their medication or second guessing their advice. Establishing a strong, genuine and trust worthy relationship with the patient can not only help them, but the nurse as well. They can work together on the patient’s self plan agency which will allow the patient to return to their beloved home and family sooner. Dorothea Orem has said “The condition that validates the existence of a requirement for nursing in an adult is the absence of the ability to maintain continuously that amount and quality of self-care which is therapeutic in sustaining life and health, in recovering from disease or injury, or in coping with their effects.” At the end of the day, the nurse’s main goal is to enhance the quality of the patient’s self care agency or to enhance the quality of one’s life if one is incapable of taking care of oneself which is what Parse’s theory of human becoming focuses on. We do this so they wouldn’t have to spend time getting better. Instead they can create their lives in the highest quality and learn to continuously practice self-care inhibiting them from visiting the hospital once again.
The third tenet in my personal philosophy of nursing is to maintain a safe and stimulating environment. Florence Nightingale environmental theory plays a great role in my personal philosophy of nursing. I strongly believe that a safe, clean and organized environment will help inspire the patient and nurse to take actions needed to promote the patient’s health and self care agency. Keeping the environment as sterile as it can be will help to prevent the patient from being diagnosed with any other illnesses. When the environment is organized, it allows ample space for the nurse to complete necessary tasks and it will also motivate the patient to sit in their chair since the room is organized and there is now room for the chair. If the patient is capable of walking or exercising their range of motion, they will now be able to within the comfort of their own room. Ventilation is also another important factor to consider that many tend to forget about. People need fresh air to balance their CO2 and O2 levels for optimum cell respiration to make ATP which their bodies will use to heal. Not only does a organized and hygienic room benefit the nurse and patient, it additionally benefits all other health care professionals. Physical therapy would not be able to practice range of motion with the patients and do short laps within the room if the room is cluttered. Transportation would take more time to transfer the patient to the stretcher if they also need to tidy up the environment to make more space to complete their jobs. Lastly, if family and friends were to come to visit, a unkept room will not keep them visiting for a long time. Socialization is very important in the healing process. Patients are under an immense amount of emotional distress and seeing their friends and family can help dramatically.
I have come to believe these ideals through personal experience. I am a patient care technician and I work directly with many nurses. I can see what the nurses value and practice the most and what engages the patient to do their best to self heal.
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Sick
Sick. I am sick and tired of living in this “home” filled with negative energy.
I don’t really give a shit what my mom is going through anymore. Ever since I was a child she didn’t know how to handle her shit. After leaving me at my grandmas, to leaving me in seventh grade with my dad who had no idea how to even raise me. I got my period without her even being home to help me out. I can’t wait to understand why I go through half of the shit I go through.
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Why a nurse
You ask me why do I want to become a registered nurse? Because I am already a nurse at heart. When I first started college, I had no idea what I wanted to pursue as my career. I began with teaching, then medical imaging until finally I realized, I want to become a registered nurse. I want to become a nurse so I can take care of not only the people I love but to love more people, as I take care of them. When I first started college, I forced myself to choose something, just anything. But mostly, I felt the pressure from my dad who wanted me to choose something in the medical field because he figured then, I would most likely always have a job and steady income. He did not want me to suffer the way he and my mother did as they worked any job to keep our family safe and healthy.
As I continued my first year of college at Ramapo College as a medical imaging major, I continued to fall deeper into my depression and hole I carved for myself. I was suffering to keep my grades up because I was so unsure. I was so unsure of myself, my choices and my major. I asked myself almost every single day why I wanted to continue studying for this career. As I was failing my classes, I finally realized I would not succeed until I figured out what all my hard work was being dedicated to.
I soon left Ramapo college because I realized I was not only wasting my money and time there but I began to lose myself day by day. When I returned home with the support of my family and friends, I figured it out. I finally realized a registered nurse was who I was meant to be and it was only up from there. As you read this essay and look at my transcript, it will all make sense. I began slowly taking my pre-requisites for nursing school. Even as my long term relationship ended in betrayal and heart break, I would say my passion to become a nurse helped me heal. There are bigger problems, with bigger people and bigger reasons for me to become Katelyn Kim, RN BSN.
As a young child at the age of ten, my little sister Audrey was born. My mom had her at the age of thirty nine, which is pretty late and she needed the whole family to help out because she no longer had the energy she once had. So since then, I catered to my entire family’s needs. I have an older sister as well. Though six years older, she was mentally six years younger. Even though at the time I was frustrated that as a young teen I was completing tasks I didn’t feel were fair to me, I thank my family for maturing me into the lady I am today.
I recently started a job as a patient care technician at Centrastate Medical Center located in Freehold, NJ. I know how difficult it is to obtain a job at a hospital without any experience but I was fortunate enough to be offered a position and I am eternally grateful for this opportunity. I assists patients with their daily needs including washing up, eating, using the bathroom. It’s not a hard job as long as one kind soul thanks you for your hard work. I’ve learned to speak to patients even if they were not capable of speaking back. I’ve learned to create relationships with different personalities and to care for people in a way they will be motivated to care for themselves as well. I’ve experienced my first death within my first few weeks. It was my first time working three days in a row, I was convinced I would be fine. Boy was I wrong. I was drained and had a lot of complete patients that day, meaning they were not capable of doing much for themselves. My patient Bernice was 98 years old and no longer ate or spoke. For the past two days she remained calm in her bed, allowing us to change her when she needed to be changed and to care for her as much as possible. The third day, she kept trying to get out of bed and yelled for help continuously. I remember hearing her say “Please, I just want to die.” Later on that day around 3 pm I took her vitals and her oxygen level was dropping from 90 to 80 to 72 and I asked the nurse to hurry in. She was sweating profusely. Around 4 pm her death was pronounced. Though heavy on my heart, her peaceful face brought was contagious. I had another patient this day whom I have also had for the past two days, her name was Victoria and she was 97 years old. Ever since the first time I met Victoria we had a special connection. With her positive energy and dance moves, it was hard not to adore her. We danced every chance we got as I helped her use the bathroom or as I set up her meal. Victoria got better each and every day. The third day was my last day I would see her. Her daughter and husband had visited her every day and before I went home I went to say goodbye to them for making my third day in a row, not too bad. This is when her daughter tried to hand me $20.00 while thanking me for taking care of her mother so well. I broke down in tears as this emotional day was taking a toll on my heart. Victoria grabbed my hand, kissed it and continued to dance. I told her daughter I cannot take the money but the fact that she tried meant the world to me. She asked me for my number because she wanted to keep me updated on her mother, I was so happy she did because I really grew love for her. A couple of days later I received a text message saying that Victoria’s procedure went well. We reached out to each other on every holiday and I hope we continue to do so.
At the end of my day, my job does not feel like a job to me. I am always so excited to meet my new patients or to see the ones I saw yesterday with hopes they are feeling better today. Patients always ask me questions that I am incapable of answering because I simply do not have the knowledge yet. But I am ready to learn as much as I can to answer any questions my patients have to give them some relief. I work on medical/surgical floor which is also our hospital’s ACE unit which stands for acute care for the elderly. Many of my patients are confused, have dementia, and or anxiety. One of the opportunities I will take advantage of as a nurse is knowing the answers to my patients’ questions and catering to them as soon as possible. I have worked with some nurses who do not cater to patients right away because they are anxious or confused and have called for them multiple times in a short amount of time. That is the kind of nurse, I pursue not to be. I understand nurses have a lot of responsibilities but since I have experience as a patient care technician, I know what patients’ need to bring them immediate comfort and that is just proving you care for them, not just physically but mentally as well. I want to bring them as much comfort and relief as soon as I can. I was raised to always be aware of my health. Health is wealth, my parents drilled into my mind. Yet health is not meant to be achieved through medication. Even though sometimes we could use the help, I want to help my patients’ achieve their health once again with other resources as well. I want to help my patients’ get better with laughter, comfort, happiness, company and love, a lot of love.
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Grateful
It’s been years since we’ve known each other. Every year I become more and more grateful for you. I’m not too sure if you know, but I consider you my mentor. I know there are times when I don’t make it to church or show up thirty minutes late but trust me, the guilt gets to me. I want to be there for God and for you & David every Sunday. You have taught me so much. You have taught me God’s ways and for that I am eternally grateful. You never fail to get me gifts or school supplies. I am convinced I am only capable of having half the heart you have. I hope this new year brings you loads of happiness, love, peace. I pray you have many days reading on the beach, clearing your mind in the middle of a field and phone calls from sick friends saying they are feeling better. I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you for your love and lessons but I just need you to know that I know, I am very blessed to have met you when I did and to still know you till this day. You are one of a couple of people in my life I brag about. I love you pretty lady! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
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I am here
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to my all time favorite aunt/sister. When you helped me fix my hair band when I was just five years old, I never thought you would mean this much to me. I know we don’t talk all the time but trust me, I always think of you and my family. I hate that my own blood did you dirty but you are stronger than you convince yourself to be. You can conquer anything you put your mind to. I remember you telling me you were around 20 I think and you worked your ass off doing nails to buy yourself your own car..I think, if I recall correctly. What a boss! A new year is coming our way. I know it’s so cliche to say new year, new me. But what about new year, new mindset. I have no idea what it’s like to be betrayed the way you were. But I do know that so many people love you, and your kids. You are not alone. You had time to be sad but it is now your time to be selfish and to be happy. I love you so much! I know you aren’t religious but God has a plan for everyone. So when you feel ready, even the slightest thought of “I want to be happy again”, “I want to care again” or anything along those lines, just do it! One step at a time, make time for yourself. I know I’m only 20 and how much do I really know but I’ve been through way more shit than most 20 year olds. I love talking to you so call me whenever. We can all become one again, it’ll take time but don’t become hopeless. Happy New Year you strong, independent, beautiful, SELF LOVING, bad ass bitch.
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Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year my handsome Neil Xavier. I pray that 2018 will be the best year you have ever had. With new opportunities, a calm heart, a sound mind, a healthy and safe life. I hope you have the best teachers, make new friends, and get good grades. Laugh as much as you can, make sure to remember mental health days are real, and that everyone needs help sometimes. I am so proud to say my best friend is intelligent and hardworking with a sweet soul. Keep killing it baby, you’re doing so great. I love you.
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This one is for you
Ever since we started to talk again, I have been wanting to tell you this. I just wasn’t sure if this was something you needed to know, or if it was something you would even want to know. Or how I could even put it. But here it is.
So, I was with someone on and off for about 5 years. 5 years is so long right? 5 years so long I was convinced I’ve found the one. Even with the break ups, the yelling at the top of our lungs, the suicidal threats, demanding for the car to be pulled over, the slammed doors, the neglect, the piercing words.
The last time we broke up and made up, I asked why we were still being kept quiet. He said, because we should make sure we are going to last before being open again. I said okay.
A few months went by, we acted as if we were in a relationship so I grew impatient. I loved him you know. I didn’t understand why after all these make ups and break ups, we couldn’t just settle down. I truly lost myself. I began begging for us to become one again.
He said
“You’re annoying”
“I miss you”
“I don’t want to hangout with just you anymore”
“You make me happy”
“Can you just back off”
What the fuck was I supposed to do. Until one day I came across this girl’s Instagram where she thanked her photographer, the boy I was convinced I was in love with. My instincts told me something was wrong. I messaged her asking if they were together, she said yes. God damn, they’ve been together for months now. He’s been sleeping with both of us. He’s gotten both of us gifts. He’s spent nights with both of us. He’s fooled both of us.
So while I was crying every night wondering why the boy I’ve been with for 5 years doesn’t want to be with me, he was living his life with no consideration for my feelings. For my heart. I spent the next week sleeping 2 to 3 hours every night, I am not exaggerating. My grades went from A’s to C’s. I smoked 3-5 times a day and spent every single night out. I did not talk to my family about my feelings. I did not know when I would be whole again.
Until I met you. Until you had the patience and feelings for me to help me become me once again. I had forgotten what I deserved. I had forgotten what true love is. I thought the idea of chasing the one I loved was romantic. What was I thinking.
I wake up now without the feeling of my heart physically hurting. It is whole, it is full of warmth and love. I never knew what it was like to look at the one you love and feel so overwhelmed that you just broke down in tears until I met you. I told my mom today, September 13th, 2017 that I am in love with you. With no hesitation. I have been begging God for you. I needed you back in my life the most right when you came back. Neil, thank you for loving me with your unconditional love and affection. You have the purest heart and I am so very thankful to have you as my partner. I have never enjoyed my time with anyone else more than I do with you. My heart continues to beat quicker whenever I see you. It also slows down when you hold me, in a good way. My feet do begin to rub in excitement without my consent whenever I am close to seeing you again. I find myself smiling throughout the day because you constantly remind me you love me, I love you. You inspire me to truly be the best I can be. To be honest, to be positive, to stay motivated, to be patient. Yes it has only been about 6 months. Yes we are only in our 20′s. If it is now, for years or for forever, I will be eternally thankful for you.
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You
Oh how blessed am I to be coming back to this to write about my middle school lover who has returned to my life years later just to remind me how I am meant to be treated.
Neil Hughes
I feel warmth radiating from my heart as you recognize the effort I put into us.. For the past years I have been pouring out my love to someone who has thrown it all away. I know this is just the beginning. But great things happen in the blink of an eye. And we are, a great thing. Happiness and love is all I get from you and that is all I am asking for. There are times when I fall short of patience and irritation enters my blood yet, your smile and patience has never allowed me to sincerely be upset with you. I am hoping and praying for you to stay. And I am enjoying every moment I have with you. God has put me through hardships this year only to reward me with the best prize there is, and that is definitely you. March 4, 2017. I am very excited to see our future unfold.
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True love to is never giving up on someone. Their happiness becomes yours. Being in love with someone means you spend every hour of everyday thinking about that person and continuously appreciating what they do for you. maybe not just the acts of kindness but how even the mere presence of them makes you feel whole.
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this is my goodbye
After 5 years of on and off time with you, it’s finally time to just say goodbye. As hard and impossible as this sounds, I don’t think I can have you in my life anymore. We are both not on the same page and we are both different people now. You have saved me from so much in life and I will be forever thankful for you. When I’m 85 and old, I’m sure I’ll still remember you, my high school sweet heart. So this is it Gino, take care and good luck. I really hope everything works out in your favor. See you.
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