draco-glacialis - Tumblr blog

[draco-glacialis]

La Signora: Hey, Sandrone! Do you wanna go celebrate with me?

Sandrone: La Signora, you know I can't be seen in public with you.

La Signora: Okay, a simple "no" would be fine.

[draco-glacialis]

*Trying to cheer Columbina after a break up*

Sandrone: You broke up with La Signora for a reason.

Columbina: I know, I know. I’m just so tired of missing them. Tired of wondering why they haven’t called. Why haven’t they called?

Arlecchino: Maybe because you told them not to.

Columbina: What are you, the Memory Person?

[draco-glacialis]

Arlecchino: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

La Signora: A doll.

Columbina: A cinnamon roll.

Sandrone: A sweetheart.

Arlecchino:

Arlecchino: ...stop it.

[draco-glacialis]

La Signora: What are you getting Arlecchino for the holidays?

Columbina: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.

Sandrone: I'm getting Arlecchino a divorce lawyer.

[draco-glacialis]

La Signora: The salary of a clown is 51,000 mora.

La Signora, gesturing to Arlecchino and Columbina fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!

[draco-glacialis]

La Signora: Do you love Columbina?

Arlecchino: Yeah, I do.

La Signora: Sandrone! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!

Sandrone: We all love Columbina. You should've asked if they were IN love with them.

Arlecchino: I thought that was implied.

Sandrone: ...

La Signora: ...

Arlecchino, looking straight at Sandrone: Congrats La Signora, you just won 100 bucks.

[draco-glacialis]

La Signora: Peruere, Clervie, I’ve left a letter telling your guardian not to worry—

Peruere: They won’t.

La Signora: that you’re safe—

Peruere: That’ll just depress anger them.

La Signora: —and you’ll see them in a few weeks.

Clervie: Do we have to?

[draco-glacialis]

Columbina: How late were you up last night?

La Signora & Sandrone, in tandem: Me?

Columbina: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.

Columbina, to Arlecchino: You.

[draco-glacialis]

Columbina: I'm not that stupid!

Arlecchino: Columbina, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.

Columbina: LA SIGNORA TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

[draco-glacialis]

Columbina: There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza.

Arlecchino: So, you’re not going to share?

Columbina: I’m not going to share.

[draco-glacialis]

Sandrone: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!

Columbina: Bet you I can!

Arlecchino: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

[draco-glacialis]

Arlecchino: Can you come out?

Columbina: Yeah gimme a minute…

Columbina: Arlecchino, I’m gay.

Arlecchino: I know that. Come out to the car.

Columbina: Okay.

Columbina: Car, I’m gay.

[draco-glacialis]

Sandrone: Aww, what's your dog's name?

Columbina: Spartacus.

Sandrone, yelling to La Signora: TRY SPARTACUS!

La Signora, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!

Columbina:

Sandrone: What's your favorite number?

[draco-glacialis]

Sandrone: Kill him.

La Signora: This is the kind of quality advice I look for.

[draco-glacialis]

Arlecchino as a child: I'm cold like a spider

Clervie: If you say so, Perrie...*doubts*

*some time later*

Arlecchino: I'm still like a spider, but now I'm a strict and unfeeling father figure as well.

Lyney, Lynette, Freminet: .....

Lynette: Is someone going to tell her?

Arlecchino: Tell me what?

Lyney: Well, "Father" while you are a stern paternal figure for us. You're more....like...a... how do I put this? You're more like a killer rabbit than a spider.

Freminte: Oh, you mean like in that film the traveler showed us? Uh, what was it again, oh right it was Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

Lynette: Correct, a killer rabbit seems to fit "Father" perfectly. Though I don't think the film is the best example. But I read somewhere mother rabbits pluck off pieces of their fur to keep their young warm, or something like that. "Father" tends to do that in her own way, especially considering the bottled flames she spoke of.

Lyney (others just nod in agreement): Exactly.

Arlecchino: *doesn't know if she should be flattered or insulted* May I see this movie you're referring to?

[draco-glacialis]

La Signora: If we lose, you’re out of the will.

Arlecchino: I was in the will?

[draco-glacialis]

Columbina: I will send my army to attack!

Columbina: *releases a dumpster of raccoons*