draftingloveletters

[draftingloveletters]

and it's december again, the stars have disappeared just like you have. I look out the window everyday to see them, as if im hoping to see you again.

[draftingloveletters]

just because seeing them makes you happy, doesn't change the fact how they made you feel before.

[draftingloveletters]

have you heard of "monsters under your bed?" are they real ? As a kid i loved sleeping under my mom's bed, I'm 17 now, i realise I have turned into a monster, the monsters aren't under the bed, they're in you, and sometimes they win.

[draftingloveletters]

andrew garfield saying, “i hope this grief stays with me because it’s all the unexpressed love that i didn’t get to tell her” about his mothers passing is so gut wrenchingly beautiful because we rarely talk about the love we want to express but can’t, not because you’re not brave enough to say it out loud but because they’re not here to listen to it anymore. calling grief the love you never had the chance to share makes it less of a burden and more of something you want to keep and not something terrible you want to move on from. i love love how everything about grief always comes down to “what is grief if not love persevering?”

[draftingloveletters]

“Grief will keep you reaching back / for what is not there”

— Adrianne Kalfopoulou, “Poem in Pieces, a Log,” A History of Too Much

[draftingloveletters]

And my sorrow sat next to me, stared at me for a while, then it burst into tears and I remained silent.

— Ghada el-Samman, كنـــا اثنين: أنــــــا وحزني (via Alive on All Channels)

[draftingloveletters]

Let me hold your stupid fucking hand and make you fall in love with me

[draftingloveletters]

the whole plot of the cruel prince

[draftingloveletters]

your eyes are worth drowning in

[draftingloveletters]

happy namjoon day, we luv you v. much and you deserve the world <3 🌷🌙

[draftingloveletters]

"My darling you will never be unloved by me, you are too well tangled in my soul"

[draftingloveletters]

People they say I made a mistake, wanted me down a path I wasn't take, They said I didn't get a clue, but I sought out the message, I saw the truth, in my mind all I thought was you, zoom out the picture, put it in view, Give it all away, give it all for free pour it out a river, pour it out a sea.

-"All My Love For You" CThornes 

[draftingloveletters]

he is what taylor Swift's songs sound like

[draftingloveletters]

Tell me that's not god saying <3

[draftingloveletters]

I guess of all the painful things you'll experience while keeping any type of long distance relationship is seeing them slowly detaching themselves from you. Slowly meeting new, more interesting, more accessible people. And then, the peak of the pain comes when its time for you to detach as well. Because the one sided relationship is already taking its toll on you, and it hurts having to literally delete them from your life after years of making it work--or trying to. And it's funny because, these friendships almost always starts slowly, you know... and then ironic as it may seem, it also ends as slowly--as if letting you down slowly-- still somehow managing to feel like falling on top of a thousand knives.

Makes you wonder;

"What did I do wrong?"

[draftingloveletters]

Does anyone else feel like they live a life where they’re repeatedly being punished for wanting closeness and and intimacy?

We’re told we should be open to love and create bonds and we crave intimacy and connection and we need it more than most people, since we already lost our bond with our parents, but every single time we reach for it, the pain of being betrayed or abandoned gets worse. To the point where we learn to not seek it out anymore, despite the craving, despite opportunities.

I’m at a point where I get flashbacks of pain when I as much as think about being close to someone, and I have to calculate if I could handle the pain of it, and most of the time I couldn’t. I think it plays a role that I’ve been socialized to respond positively to abusers and they can tell I’m a good target regardless of how much I try to act cold and distant to hide it. I can still get fooled by covert types and fall for their manipulation even though I have all red flags memorized. I just don’t notice until it’s too late and then I have another imagionary friendship to mourn. Anyone else living this life?

[draftingloveletters]

Some days I miss you out of the blue . Its like a breeze going by and I'm like oh shit , remember how it used to be ? I look and something and think you'd find that so funny and I take my phone out to text you but I freeze . We don't text anymore , I don't even know how you spend your days , I just know that for a time you were so important to me and all I can do is hope that you're making it through the day with a smile