dragonwingsismydream

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What shipping wars feel like to shippers:

What shipping wars actually look like:

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That time in which Mamrie, Grace, and Hannah absolutely NAIL it.

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How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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Oh look a Gentleman Bastards themed birthday card.

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Oh look a Gentleman Bastards themed birthday card.

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HTTYD Dragons - Eragon Style

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► DRAGON WEEKEND - Entry 1 Hei there, buds! Did you all remember that Dragon Weekend I went on November? Me and Astrid took some clips about us when we were free from the event… And they turned out to be so random and silly that I seriously can’t avoid to share them with all of you! X///D Also, I know I was away for a while. Sorry about all the unanswered questions and asks… And as always, I promise I’ll find the time to answer to EVERYONE asap. :) Recently (LIKE YESTERDAY) I find out I had a Twitter account (Yep.) so, if anyone is interested (since it was asked to me so many times) here it is :)  ► AlexanDrake89

Hugs! Miss you ♥

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You know that doesn’t wash out!

How come no one had done this yet

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Hi there, buds… I know I havent’s been active for some time, except for some little things. Especially, I apologize for my lack in responding to your asks anymore. The facts are: I have too many, and I can’t reach the older ones because the inbox crash. It’s mostly my fault for having them...

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you pay the berk dragon trainers a visit! {x}

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Oh, thank you, really! Now I have to sweep the floor from my blood! *mutters between me and myself* Look at the mess my bleeding nose made...

Also, I just have to point out that this ludicrous picture exists solely thanks to a friend of mine that finds exteme pleasure in getting me drunk and making me do stuff I would never X///D (Also, he say hi! HI!) X°D MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!!

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reasons to love httyd

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Have you ever sat with your friends and just known that you’re the least important friend in the group and you felt like it wouldn’t make a difference if you were there or not