dream-scribbles

[dream-scribbles]

[dream-scribbles]

Do you ever just want to pack up and leave out of the blue without saying anything to anyone like just leave and start a new life?

[dream-scribbles]

"Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?"

Lunas-worlds-blog

[dream-scribbles]

What is love like? I mean.. How does it feel to fall in love? I never really got to exerience it...

Its unlike anything you will ever experience. It will be the happiest time of your life, and it will be the saddest time of your life. Every time you see her face, you feel like your falling. Every time she talks to you, it feels like you are listening to your favorite song. Every time she touches your skin, your heart skips a beat. When she’s not with you, you still think about her. When you see her name pop up on your phone, you smile. 

When it come time to part ways, your chest will feel heavy. You’ll probably cry a little bit. You’ll stay up for a week straight wondering how you let her slip away from you. You will want to see her again, but you know you can’t. You’ll think about her even more. 

When you see her face again, some time down the road, everything around you will stop for a couple seconds. She’ll smile at you, and that falling sensation will come back for a brief moment. You’ll start talking again, but it won’t feel the same. You don’t feel that fire in your lungs, like you used to when she was with you. You’ll start to grow apart because there’s nothing left to say that you haven’t already. 

You’ll see her one last time, and then you won’t. If your lucky, maybe you hugged her goodbye, and told her the thing you always wanted to say. Maybe you didn’t though. Maybe you spend the next few nights thinking about the things you wanted to say. Your chest will feel heavy again for a while. You’ll think about her some more. And then you won’t. 

You meet someone else, and you’ll try to feel that fire you used to feel in your lungs. You won’t feel it. You’ll try to pretend you do though, because you want to. But you know it isn’t real. You grow exhausted from pretending. You’ll realize your heart still beats for her. You realize at this point you were actually in love. You stay up for another week wondering how you let her slip away from you. 

Years down the road, you won’t really think about her that often. You’ll get busy with life, maybe even end up in a different city. You will dream about her one night though. You will feel everything you used to feel. The sound of her voice and her smile will come back to you. You won’t want to wake up from this dream, but you do. You will think about her a lot that day. You’ll miss her. You’ll realize you still love her. You might get drunk or high that night, to make your lungs feel like they are on fire. But you still won’t feel that fire you felt once before. 

[dream-scribbles]

I had checked on your sleeping self five minutes prior and you were still knocked out cold. So when your fingers sneaked their way from behind me, i jumped in surprise. You lifted me up to the kitchen counter while kissing my bare neck sending exquisite shivers through me. You winked at me and you said, “you know i hate waking up alone. You must be punished!” I wrapped my legs around your waist and ran my fingers through your morning hair. Either it was the close proximity or the way you were looking at me, sparked my insides on fire.

Like every actress in a movie, i asked, “ what if someone walks in on us?” To which you replied smirking, “so what? You’re my wife. You’re mine!” If only you knew how i wanted to kiss that smirk off senseless. It escalated and we got so engrossed in exploring every inch of each other that we didnt notice our baby girl had showed up “mom and dad whats going on?”, She questioned. We probably looked like deer caught in headlights. I heard you go ‘oops’ and i tired my best to not burst out laughing. You looked at me begging for help. “Your fault. You deal with this” , i mouthed. I jumped off the counter while i could hear you say, “nothing baby girl i was just telling your mom what i wanted for breakfast” i saw you wink at me and then turn back to her and say, “ why dont you go to your room? I’ll come help you get ready.”

Just as she was out of sight i felt a light smack on my butt and a whisper, “we’re not finished here.” I held the counter since my knees went weak from your words. If only you knew the intensity of the effects you have on me. I know we are not finished here and i also know we’ll never be finished.

[dream-scribbles]

You get a little moody sometimes but I think that’s because you like to read. People that like to read are always a little fucked up.

Pat Conroy, The Prince of Tides (via books-n-quotes)