dreamersanddarkness - Tumblr blog

[dreamersanddarkness]

Flashbacks and I lose all ground I’ve gained.Back to square one yet you’re fine fuck me!

You’re fine and I’m a junkie craving the next hit,a blade to slash and distract my mind. A physical pain more bearable than the slashes on ones soul.

[dreamersanddarkness]

“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.”

— C.G. Jung

[dreamersanddarkness]

I was sad that a part of me still felt love for the last person who broke my heart.

Till I realized I was responsible for my own heartbreak.

[dreamersanddarkness]

Part One

I remember the night I met David,one clear May night during my third year of university. He was friends with Love‟s then boyfriend. “ Come on Maryam! You‟re the only one who hasn‟t met Vic yet, Please just come out tonight I promise you won‟t feel like a third wheel, he‟s bringing a friend”. Grudgingly agreeing not only because of her but partly because I was bored and curious to see what Victor the beau looked like. Pulling on sweats since I couldn‟t be bothered these days, we stepped out of the hostel to meet them.

It was a dark night only broken by the streetlamps placed at intervals, we approached these figures, one tall and languid in manner, the other short and stout .The dark wasn‟t aiding my appraisals in any way, on getting closer, the first thing that struck me was the pervading smell of weed. They both reeked. Instantly filled with distaste I moved off to the side while she hugged them. “Vic, David, meet Maryam otherwise known as Ammie”, not to be rude I came over to exchange pleasantries then we paired off. He wasn‟t conventionally attractive, in fact none of them was and I actually thought he was ugly with his overbite and acne-scarred face but that faded soon enough. He was all over me from the start, no concept of personal space and that irritated me thus triggering my sarcastic and snide responses. I definitely got more than one nudge and whispered be nice from Love that night. Still, I guess my rudeness intrigued him. Oh and I completely forgot about the Vic evaluation but knowing they were drug users really put me off.

Two days later I‟m coming from class and its really late, only to run into David playing pool, with a cigarette dangling between his lips, running over,” Maryam, hey! Its David , Vic‟s friend”. “oh hello, just call me Ammie its easier for both of us” I reply shortly, sidestepping him as he gets so close and in my face, the stench of the cigarette is making me nauseous and my nose wrinkles instinctively. “Do you really have to do

that?” I ask, not very nicely, “Yeah it calms me down but its not as good as the weed I get off-campus”. Instantly irritated, I snap,” you know that could kill you right? Anyway that‟s your problem I have to go now”, without giving him a chance to respond I turned on my heel and went off to the hostel. That weekend Love comes over to get my blow- dryer,” By the way Maryam guess who I saw last night” “ Who was it?” “David duh! He came over when I was with Vic. He really likes you though he says you‟re not nice to him and he wants your number” seeing me roll my eyes, she goes on “ He really is a nice person and there‟s no harm in giving him your number, what‟s the worst he could do.......

[dreamersanddarkness]

My poor heart

seokmin visual god w a marshmallow heart

[dreamersanddarkness]

Katherine Mansfield, from a diary entry featured in “The Diaries of Katherine Mansfield,”

[dreamersanddarkness]

My first stories are going to be based on the seven deadly sins but bringing a different modern perspective.

How my seemingly normal life is plagued on a daily basis by things that seem harmless but build up

Not a #meliodas or #nanatzunotaizai thing

Although I’m going to be interspersing with stories about #medschool #kpop and #socialanxiety and having to navigate life with all this

[dreamersanddarkness]

I’m writing a book but idk when or if I’m ever gonna finish it. Soooo I’ve decided to reactivate my tumblr and post excerpts here. All because I got paranoid that I’m gonna doe w/o anyone ever seeing my works.

Here’s to gaining new mutuals and hoping my stories make an impact on you in any way.