dreamerwriternstargazer

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K-POP DEMON HUNTERS (2025)

"our fears and faults must never be seen"

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Rumi & Jinu from Kpop Demon Hunters

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I just noticed and it's breaking my heart so I'm going to point it out, while singing "What It Sounds Like" Mira and Zoey were fighting the other Saja Boys but Rumi was just walking towards Jinu and she was smiling at him. She wasn't going to fight him she was going to reach out to him again to try and save him.

And the lines she sings while looking straight at him as she's walking foreward through the battle are "Show me what's underneeth, I'll find your harmony. Fearless and unrefined, this is what it sounds like."

SHE WAS TRYING TO SAVE HIM!!!!!

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So… today was slightly better but I also feel very confused because I dealt with more intrusive thoughts today

Let me start off with the positives which is, when I do feel uncertain or have spiralling feelings/thoughts even if I am dwelling on it I’m not actively catastrophising or starting to despair Alhamdulilah, I pretty much just get on with my day but I feel thought cycles happen

And I feel like thought cycles happen because I’m not sure about the right way to approach spiral thoughts, I keep trying to think of my therapist’s advice which is just to let a thought be a cloud floating through. And that’s the point of OCD coping mechanisms, you use a non engagement response

I wonder if maybe I contribute to a thought cycle by focusing more on a perfect answer than an actual non engagement response.

The negative is, I had a very new intrusive thought which was very disorienting, but I still went on with my day and you know, enjoyed watching a movie. It cycled through my head a few times and I started to get frightened but I still tried to stay firm and just go “this is an intrusive thought, it doesn’t mean anything.”

Something that helped me, that always helps me with nightmares actually, is remembering when Ruby helped Clancy get over his fears at a Halloween party, I reread this part of book 2 a few weeks ago but every time I wake up hallucinating or dealing with nightmares I remember it. Basically what Clancy’s dealing with is this mystery bucket game at the party, it’s filled with everyday objects but because you go in blind when touching it it’s very easy to imagine something gruesome, eg an egg you could imagine to be an eyeball.

Ruby rule 11: adjust your thinking and your chances improve.

So you have to shut down the creative part of your brain, and this generally leads me to thinking about how Anne (of Green Gables) gets tripped up by her overactive imagination when she comes up with The Haunted Wood.

So I know, it’s okay, just my imagination going a bit overboard. It’s the same as a nightmare

Perhaps I’m just adjusting to this new condition, Insha’Allah I hope I am

But at the same time throughout the day I had this niggling anxiety of… wait… I thought the medication is supposed to be working?

(See this is frustrating because this can become an obsessive thought in itself)

What I ended up redirecting with is, whether it’s working or not I still have to do the same thing; take a deep breath, don’t put pressure on myself to do this all perfectly, because there’s no perfect way to do this.

I cannot pressure myself to be perfectly hopeful or optimistic or anything either, I just know I will feel that way once it passes Insha’Allah but no one can be 100% all the time ^_^

I’m learning things? I think I’m learning things. I’m trying to be curious and open minded here rather than panicking, because I think that helps more than anything else.

And when something scares me, like a thought scares me, I try to mentally picture myself walking straight towards it the way I would with anything else I’m scared of. Sometimes I feel afraid of making art, and the thing about me is now I know Alhamdulilah exposure therapy is a key part of managing these issues I am sort of at an advantage with my stubborn personality.

Sometimes however this can be a disadvantage because I can be pushing myself too hard in some bid for perfection so you know *shrugs*

I think the biggest thing I’m learning is to be very cheerful and supportive towards myself when I do something imperfectly.

Freaked out but still did the watercolour art therapy exercise? Well done you ^_^

Spiralled for a bit but realised and did the laundry even with some uncertain feelings? Great going!

Was vulnerable and feeling anxious and tense due to that vulnerability (like writing this post)? Well done for sharing and noting your progress down, you might even help someone else by doing this Insha’Allah.

If anyone else with anxiety and/or OCD wants to share their experiences please do ^_^

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Demon Jinu is the hottest Jinu. Ya’ll need to educate yoselves

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Embrace

My print shop

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@lovehey

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Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Swann and Orlando Bloom as Will Turner PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END 2007 | dir. Gore Verbinski

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*credits roll*

Me: *whispers* that was one of the greatest films of all time

My sister: *side eyes me because I was terrified and covering my face for the last 10 minutes*

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I am literally on the edge of my seat and my sister keeps going

“I cannot emphasise enough that he makes it”

“I KNOW IT’S STILL TENSE”

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The Martian really is one of the most stressful movies of all time

Also the most satisfying because it truly does

Science the crap out of every problem

This movie is like a compilation of every worst case scenario science problem that you have to answer in a physics exam

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Jenna Coleman at the Royal Academy of Arts summer exhibition preview party in London today!

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*vibrates in caffeinated* SO MY WONDERFUL MOTHER ORDERED ME A FRAPPUCCINO AND A TIRAMISU AND AND AND IT’S A NICE DAY AND THE KDIS ARE GOING MADRASAH SO I TURN TO MY SISTER AND IM LIKE CAN WE PLEASE WATCH THE MARTIAN ON THE BIG MONITOR IT’LL LOOK SO GOOD

And she says yeh :)

Also I have washed my new bedsheets and I’m organising my room and because of the Frappuccino I intend to stay up a BIT Insha’Allah to put up artwork on my walls or maybe make artwork I’m not sure

I have not yet collapsed into a nap yet because I stripped my bed so I technically can’t XD I was feeling sleepy earlier but then realised ah… no bedsheets… I jinkied myself >:3

But actually good so I am forced to stay up and do all the fun stuff I’ve been meaning to do

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star hoarder

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*whoops* I was on hold for 11 minutes but can confirm my form was accepted I should call back later or tomorrow to check on if there’s anything more I need to do because the office was too busy to accept calls today!

I have successfully booked in my eye test appointment!

Now to just call in uni to double check my Special Circumstances form was accepted

I’ll get round to the dentist one tomorrow on the way to my eye test Insha’Allah as I think I have to register before getting an appointment

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