dreamerwriternstargazer

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*insert shrek meme here*

Can my brain stop giving me nightmares for FIVE MINUTES?!

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Predawn Fog by Roman F

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on friendship and the soft serrated edge of trust

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If you are in the garden, I will dress myself in leaves. If you are in the sea I will slide into that smooth blue nest, I will talk fish, I will adore salt. But if you are sad, I will not dress myself in desolation. I will present myself with all the laughters I can muster. And if you are angry I will come, calm and steady, with some small and easy story.

Mary Oliver, from "Rhapsody Part 7" in The Leaf and The Cloud: A Poem

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It’s the strangest thing, Kyungha.

I thought about you every day, and you actually came.

I thought of you so often that I swear sometimes I could almost see you.

Like when you peer inside a dark aquarium.

How if you put your face to the glass and keep looking, you’ll eventually see something glimmering inside.

Han Kang, We Do Not Part, trans. e. yaewon and Paige Aniyah Morris

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Late night thoughts

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“the possibility of rejection is essential to forming deep relationships with people” - chanté joseph for british vogue

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Heads up if you're a sewing hobbyist...

Buy those patterns you've been thinking about while you still can.

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My therapist, who specializes in adults with ADHD, recently told me that all of her clients need a three day crashout period after a big life change. Finish the semester? Crashout. Change jobs? Crashout. Go on a really cool, really relaxing vacation? Crashout the moment you get home.

It's true of literally all of her clients. She works with a lot of them to put systems in place so that their crashouts are only three days. This includes the high-powered execs who travel regularly for work. It does not matter how successful or high functioning they are - they have ADHD, and a crashout is just part of the process of living with it.

I'm sharing this with all you ADHD friends out there, just in case you (like me) start shaming yourself if your crashout lasts more than one day. It turns out three days is kind of the best case scenario. Be kind to yourselves!

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in law school, my mom took me to this stress retreat because my family was vaguely aware i was a suicide risk. and they didnt allow phones, so i brought this huge bag of books. and one of the options for "destressing" was this fake cave grotto thing, where they'd decorated a room to make it look exactly like an underground cave and the air was like -10 degrees, but there was a like 4ft deep pool in the middle that was kept super super hot, so you would just switch between the hot and cold. and they would bring you an endless supply of this weird syrupy drink thing that was like super caffeinated and tasted like sugar and mint. and so i spent multiple days sitting half submerged in this fake grotto drinking mystery liquid and reading. and i have to be honest i really did feel less stressed

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"You can and should have friends across different age groups" "its fine and good to have appropriate friends that are a lot older or younger" yeah ok but what if your best friend is 20 years younger than you and teaches you how to effectively weaponize toxic masculinity and misogyny to sleep with any woman you want...but then he ends up dating your daughter.... what about that, then?

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J.R.R. Tolkien, from The Return of the King

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how to survive autumn without becoming feral

layer, don't suffer. autumn is not a season for stoicism. wear the big coat, wrap yourself in a scarf that could easily double as a blanket, let your sleeves swallow your hands. there is something romantic about being slightly hidden inside too many layers, like you're a mystery passing through the cold air.

walk everywhere. if the leaves are falling, you owe it to yourself to hear them crunch. take the long route home just to see how the streetlights catch on wet pavement. every walk is a small theatre piece when the world is turning golden and red around you.

hot drinks as a coping mechanism. it's not really about the coffee or tea; it's about the ritual. holding something warm so your soul doesn't leave your body. watching the steam curl in the cold air like poetry.

movies that feel like sweaters. dead poets society, for when you want inspiration to ache, when harry met sally, for the comfort of love wrapped in autumn leaves, little women, for that bittersweet warmth that feels like home and heartbreak at once.

read something dramatic. autumn is not the time for light paperbacks. it's for Brontë storms, Dostoevsky despair, Euripides wailing choruses. books that feel bigger than you, so when you close them, the silence of your room feels charged with meaning.

finally back with my usual tumblr posts right in time for the beginning of autumn hahah. <3

my insta: malusokay