driftingslowly

[driftingslowly]

21 november 2024

and the thing is!!! i've had so many friends tell me "ohh when i get a partner you, as my close friend, are always gonna be as if not more important to me then them". and it's a lie everytime. It's always a lie!!!!! a week later it's "oh but you have to understand that i have to prioritize him cause he's my boyfriend yk" DISEASE!!!

[driftingslowly]

hey reminder that connecting humanity is extremely low on esims rn and desperately needs esim donations and also that there are a lot of cool things you can get in exchange for a donation

[driftingslowly]

more fundraisers for palestine

since the last post i made, more people have reached out to me to promote their gofundmes. as always, please share and please donate if you can

@nisreensuhail - Help my family survive and start a new life - €10,150/€50,000 - #75 on the gazavetters spreadsheet

@tahseenkhazen - Tahseen Starving Children Call for Your Support Amid Crises - $13,707/$25,000 - see here for verification

@mohamed-meq - Aidez la famille MOKDAD a survivre au genocide israélite - €737/€90,000 - #94 on the gazavetters spreadsheet

@kawlafamily7 - Support Khawla's Family in Gaza Crisis - $6,541/$20,000 - see here for verification

@sfaamq10 - Support Safaa's Quest To Get Her Family To Safety. - $17,288/$75,000 - reblogged by 90-ghost

@yousef-falestinef - Help Palestine and Family Survive the Gaza Crisis - $25,125/$40,000 - reblogged by 90-ghost

@tahrir1990 - Help Tahrir's Survive in Gaza - $10,427/$65,000 - reblogged by 90-ghost

@wafaaresh6 - Support Wafa's Fight for Safety and Health - $29,197/$50,000 - see here for verification

@noorabd-1992 - Help Nour and his family escape from the war in Gaza - $19,255/$45,000 - see here for verification

@mohamed-resh09 - Help support Muhammad and his family in Khan Yunis - CAD$3,351/$40,000 - see here for verification

@ahmednser - Your donation rebuilds our life, which has become non-existent - €272/€100,000 - #37 on the gazavetters spreadsheet

@abood-gaza2 - Help Abood From the War - $9,717/$40,000 - see here for verification

@aseelo680 - Support Asil Fight for Life and Family in Gaza - $37,160/$50,000 - reblogged by 90-ghost

@nevinalser - Help Nevin alserr family escape the war - €2,162/€50,000 - #314 on the vetted gaza evacuation fundraiser list

@fidaa-family2 - Help Fidaa and her children - $39,849 raised of $75,000 - see here for verification

@farahmohanad2 - Rebuilding After loss: Your Support Brings Us Back - $3,401/$35,000 - #42 on the gazavetters spreadsheet

@khalid-sisters - Help Khalid Sisters in Gaza not to be Homeless - $4,944/$15,000 - see here for verification

@mahmoud-1995 - Help this family evacuate from gaza - $15,595/$50,000 - reblogged by 90-ghost

the following fundraisers are currently unverified, but reverse image search seems to indicate that the images are original. please use your own discretion and keep an eye out for future verification

@motazmohammed - Help my family survive the war on Gaza by fleeing to safety - €3,056/€50,000

@zainsami - Help me build a new life for my family and get out of Gaza - €875/€35,000

[driftingslowly]

urgent

mohammed told me the bombing is very intense in gaza tonight. im so worried for him please share and donate. this campaign has progressed a lot and were getting close to having enough money to register his family to evacuate. his wife has cancer and urgently needs treatment and his family is in danger every day that they remain in gaza. here are his own words, please read this, share and donate

These moments are like the Day of Judgment.

Everywhere there is bombing and everywhere there are screaming children and women. Please help me protect my children and wife and get them out of Gaza.

The cries of my children tear my heart apart from every side, and my wife screams, holding our children in her arms. These moments are terrifying and unbearable. Please, help me with your donations and share my story so I can save my family from this hell. I want to protect my children and my wife and get them out of this harsh life. Please, don't leave us alone.

$26,317 out of $50,000

[driftingslowly]

Written 23d of July 2024

[driftingslowly]

written july 2024

[driftingslowly]

written july 2024

[driftingslowly]

Written 18th of July, 2024 (rework of something i wrote last year)

And i want you broken, and i want you mad. Sorry, i know it's an ugly thing to say, but i want you fucked out and nasty and gross, like all these other bitches get to have you. Things i can't give to you.

i want you to hate me. i want to come home at the end of the day, tired and grimy and desperate and i want to know you'll always be worse than me. exhausted to the bone. covered in dirt. for your love i'd have to work but you hatred could come naturally. from birth. no matter what i did, it could be there, numbing me, warming me up like a slow burning fire.

we could be unhappy together. you could ruin your life with me, resent me. and every night, you would still lay down beside me, heart against heart, despite everything.

[driftingslowly]

written 17th of July, 2024

When i was a kid, i used to go to this sleepaway camp. I went there for a big chunk of my childhood and adolescence. At camp, every night before we went to sleep, we'd go in the cafeteria and have a little bedtime snack, usually one of those crumbly sugar cookies with a glass of milk. It was late enough that, even though it was summer, the sun had already set and that felt like breaking the rules. Me and my sister were brought up to go to bed very early, so those bedtime cookies always felt special, like your mom letting you stay up for a sleepover.

At the end of the two weeks of camp, we'd watch our parent's cars roll into the site and that always made me weirdly nervous. Every year, i wanted to show my parents around the site and describe everything in detail. I knew they'd already seen it, but every inch of it had become such an important part of who i was in such a new way, that i felt i had to show it to them again and explain all the fun i'd had there. But even after my presentation, they still wanted to take me home. And every year, i wanted to cry, but didn't because i knew it would've hurt their feelings.

I always hated going to sleep alone. As a teen, i always told my friends i couldn't wait to get a boyfriend so i could hold him in my arms as i fell asleep. At camp, after the milk and cookies, once we were back in the dorms, the camp counselors would break out their guitar and sing us to sleep. There, surrounded by my dormmates, i never felt alone. For a long time i would recite the songs in my head at home, when i had trouble falling asleep.

The summer i turned 18 was the last time i went to camp, and the first time i felt lonely there. All of my friends had stopped going, i was doing counselor training with five other people who were all close friends with each other and i was in such a bad place mentally that nobody wanted to come up and talk to me. I would spend my days just holding back tears. While i was there, i also fell in love with some random 17 year old guy from Québec City, who cheated on his girlfriend with two different girls during the summer. At the end of camp, the kids put on a show and the guy sang Space Oddity. During his performance, he kept pointing to one of the girls he was cheating with, who was sitting right behind me with his jacket on. He pointed in my exact direction but i knew he was never pointing at me and i started crying. Then, all the kids sang Fleetwood Mac's The Chain and my crying turned into sobbing. I watched them all up on the stage holding each other, laughing and smiling, loving each other and i could remember being in that exact position just a couple years ago. I could remember the camp friends i thought i was never gonna lose and i could still hear them saying they would never break the chain. I cried so hard my vision blacked out, i cried like i still have never cried again, to this day, i cried until my whole body was in pain.

And when the show was over, i tried to compose myself to go say goodbye to everybody, but no one knew who i was. I had worked hard to remember all of their names and nobody knew mine. So i walked around the camp for the last time, tears streaming down my face. Nobody there cared enough about me to have their feelings hurt by my crying. By the time my aunt and my cousin came to get me, i had washed my face and looked normal again. It was late on a summer night, the sun had already gone down and i knew i was going to sleep alone again that night.

[driftingslowly]

14th of April, 2022

Waking up with somebody to think of.

Writing words that sound true.

Accumulating provisions of memories to keep you warm all winter long.

Retaining enough images to project an entire movie on the back of a hand.

For the pain, also, I guess I should be thankful.

[driftingslowly]

Written 11th of April, 2022

When I wear this shirt, my waist is once again the waist that you touched with your freezing cold Twisted Tea can on a day where it was already too cold. The woman that inhabits this waist remembers the patterns of golden light on your face and me, I don't know what to do with that. When I wear this shirt I swear I can still smell the sunset.

[driftingslowly]

Written 24th of February, 2022

This morning, the sidewalks were covered in ice, slippery, and the people were falling. I saw an old woman fall in the parking of a church and as she was getting up, she fell again.

I saw a postman fall and as I tried to help him, I also fell. This morning, the sidewalks were covered in ice and the people walked in the street.

[driftingslowly]

Written 17th of February 2022

The feeling I have for you is one of those that you would be embarrassed to say. One of those that, your heart snuffed out like a candle by absence, you're ashamed to read.

[driftingslowly]

Written 10th of February 2022

I wasted all my evenings thinking about him,

It's the first time I let myself dream about one that I could have

I feel like I'm writing like her

[driftingslowly]

Written 10th of February 2022

Are you fiction, that I've written,

Are you poem, are you song?

For me, my heart eaten by moths,

I'm left with only reason.

[driftingslowly]

Written 10th of February, 2022

Writing the beauty and you make me want to speak about things that have no name

Going back you make me want to

Ignore the holes between the lines, between the days of my memory

Like a little girl's mood,

I wake up thinking about you

I only listen to songs about your smile

There are moments where I wish life was a novel

I could write pages about you

I hadn't believed in a long time.

I wonder

If you've often seen the river, I wonder

If night falls, then, where do you go?

Bad coincidence, that finds you on the ground

And out of breath, bloodless,

And I'm finally happy

Would it be possible, you think,

One day, for both of us to see the sea?

[driftingslowly]

Written 7th of February, 2022.

6AM and the sun rises on the neighbourhood

At the street's angle, the pale winter sun warms the mysteries of the port

The abandonned children's toys, the blue snow under the moon

The smell of baking bread is warmer this morning,

Last night, I dreamt I was dancing with you