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Sometimes an episode is just so stuffed with really good line deliveries theres nothing i can do except put em together in a compilation its out of my control im powerless to stop it. Goodbye.
#strong contender for funniest episode of the series#season 5#ep: The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan#video
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he was openly bisexual. he didn't know that but he was
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The BJ Virgin Liberal vs the Hawkeye Chad Leftist, send tweet
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Mike’s instagram
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Happy pride month from Henry, he doesn’t care if you’re a f—

I accidentally drew this really close to the golden ratio lol
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can i spare y’all a trapper john fancam
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M*A*S*H - S11E16 "Goodbye, Farewell and Amen"
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When he says something so regular army you have to hit him with the draftee doctor stare
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interests: flirting with men he absolutely shouldn’t be flirting with. also what is this pick-up line. but also why does it work??
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“He would not fucking say that” except its the badly written source material so he did, in fact, say that
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drill sergeant voice “DROP AND GET ME PREGNANT!”
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NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT ROUND 6 POLL 1

PROPAGANDA:
[Hawkeye]
"He genuinely never stops asking for it. There's gotta be a one mpreg joke per season quota. One of the very first things he says to a new major character—his new best friend—is that someone's going to have to get him pregnant if they want to marry him."
"He wants it real bad in canon, told a man 10 mins after meeting him that someone needed to get him pregnant before he got married. He will NOT stop making pregnancy jokes."
"He makes multiple jokes about getting/being pregnant, or otherwise being fucked by men, throughout the show. One of the first things he says upon meeting his new coworker is "someone's gonna have to get me pregnant." I just need someone to take care of that obvious desire for him. For my own mental health and wellbeing."
"look at him. He’s so babygirl it hurts. All he does is crack a joke to cover up his pain."
"He wants to get pregnant, he talks about it constantly on the show. Yes it's jokes but they're so consistent, and honestly I think he deserves one nice thing out of this war."
"HE CANONICALLY WON'T STFU ABOUT GETTING PREGNANT. HE WANTS TO BE PREGNANT SO BAD PLEASE MAKE HIS WISHES COME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"He wants himself to be pregnant, I'm just following orders."
"He regularly jokes about getting pregnant/wanting to get pregnant/"you'll have to get me pregnant first" and just look at him. Manwhore."
"Mans is hurting for it, multiple lines across all seasons with him referencing the idea of being knocked up, including but not limiting to offering to carry another man's baby more then once, and referring to another character as 'the son he never had' in a maternal sense multiple times. He's also canonically a whore (positive) if that helps."
"Man he needs himself pregnant. Like, he makes so many jokes about getting knocked up."
"this man is a bisexual pansy constantly begging other men to get him pregnant, whether it’s an army general on the phone, his best friend(s), or a man he literally just met 2 seconds ago while racing against the clock to meet the best friend/lover that this new man is replacing before he gets on a flight home (he fails and meets this new guy instead. He’s always playing at being the wife of his male best friends and just look at him. he needs it. for his health."
"It's what he wants!! He made enough jokes about it on the show!"
"Honestly, I don't even care that much about getting him pregnant. But I know he does so I'm doing this for him. His breeding kink. <3"
"he's gagging for it. seemingly every opportunity he has he makes a mpreg comment: "I know I'm just a captain, and you're a general, but i want to have your baby. I mean it! ill have your baby! I'll kiss all your stars!". that man is so traumatized from -the war- but i think getting pregnant could fix him. :3"
"Hawkeye Pierce is a bisexual draftee in the US Army who feminizes himself as a joke to reject the army life, and possibly, to "fly under the radar" (as in: "I'm only jokingly a homo! Otherwise I'm real manly!!!"). He regularly makes jokes as to becoming pregnant, bearing children, being the "mother/aunt" in the relationship (including a direct quote: "Tell your uncle Trapper and aunt Hawkeye about it!"). Hawkeye is tall, lanky, obviously "weird", "strange", a jokester and, I cannot emphasize this enough, obsessed with pregnancy. It's the thematic ideal of stability to him. Textually, the incorporation of pregnancy is an advanced development of his rejection of the army and the war. It's also incredibly funny. Have you seen Alan Alda? Get 👏 him 👏 pregnant 👏 now!!! 👏"
[Grunkle Ford]
"He has that pathetic nerd swag why wouldn't I want him pregnant. I know multiple people who would want to bang that senior citizen."
"okay so this is the most breedable motherfucker in gravity falls. sorry but its true. eldritch chaos god triangle wants him so bad he ended the world about it, genius engineer wanted him so bad it made his wife divorce him, aliens want him, everyone in the town keeps calling him a silver fox and hot, etc. his autistic swag, presumable complete sexual inexperience in his 60s, and whimsy are a recipe for all to feel extreme lust when gazing upon his visage.
reasons that he is so mpreg-able aside, it is actually somewhat plausible that he is currently, as we speak, mpregnant. the new gravity falls book, the book of bill, had a website that was released to promote the book and also relay a bunch of new fun information and arg things. this new book, in universe, is written with the intent to be read by ford, and for the website, it is showcasing ford's laboratory. so one could view all of the material with the perspective of it being directed at ford.
one of these messages on the website is an image of an ultrasound of a baby-- a triangular baby. on it, there is the message "congrats, guess what's growing inside you right now! see you in nine months, papa!"
so…. ford might be mpregnant with his ex, bill ciphers baby. yayyyy."
"He's just so submissive and breedable. he should get a sci fi abortion. he would not enjoy fatherhood."
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NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT ROUND 6 POLL 1

PROPAGANDA:
[Hawkeye]
"He genuinely never stops asking for it. There's gotta be a one mpreg joke per season quota. One of the very first things he says to a new major character—his new best friend—is that someone's going to have to get him pregnant if they want to marry him."
"He wants it real bad in canon, told a man 10 mins after meeting him that someone needed to get him pregnant before he got married. He will NOT stop making pregnancy jokes."
"He makes multiple jokes about getting/being pregnant, or otherwise being fucked by men, throughout the show. One of the first things he says upon meeting his new coworker is "someone's gonna have to get me pregnant." I just need someone to take care of that obvious desire for him. For my own mental health and wellbeing."
"look at him. He’s so babygirl it hurts. All he does is crack a joke to cover up his pain."
"He wants to get pregnant, he talks about it constantly on the show. Yes it's jokes but they're so consistent, and honestly I think he deserves one nice thing out of this war."
"HE CANONICALLY WON'T STFU ABOUT GETTING PREGNANT. HE WANTS TO BE PREGNANT SO BAD PLEASE MAKE HIS WISHES COME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"He wants himself to be pregnant, I'm just following orders."
"He regularly jokes about getting pregnant/wanting to get pregnant/"you'll have to get me pregnant first" and just look at him. Manwhore."
"Mans is hurting for it, multiple lines across all seasons with him referencing the idea of being knocked up, including but not limiting to offering to carry another man's baby more then once, and referring to another character as 'the son he never had' in a maternal sense multiple times. He's also canonically a whore (positive) if that helps."
"Man he needs himself pregnant. Like, he makes so many jokes about getting knocked up."
"this man is a bisexual pansy constantly begging other men to get him pregnant, whether it’s an army general on the phone, his best friend(s), or a man he literally just met 2 seconds ago while racing against the clock to meet the best friend/lover that this new man is replacing before he gets on a flight home (he fails and meets this new guy instead. He’s always playing at being the wife of his male best friends and just look at him. he needs it. for his health."
"It's what he wants!! He made enough jokes about it on the show!"
"Honestly, I don't even care that much about getting him pregnant. But I know he does so I'm doing this for him. His breeding kink. <3"
"he's gagging for it. seemingly every opportunity he has he makes a mpreg comment: "I know I'm just a captain, and you're a general, but i want to have your baby. I mean it! ill have your baby! I'll kiss all your stars!". that man is so traumatized from -the war- but i think getting pregnant could fix him. :3"
"Hawkeye Pierce is a bisexual draftee in the US Army who feminizes himself as a joke to reject the army life, and possibly, to "fly under the radar" (as in: "I'm only jokingly a homo! Otherwise I'm real manly!!!"). He regularly makes jokes as to becoming pregnant, bearing children, being the "mother/aunt" in the relationship (including a direct quote: "Tell your uncle Trapper and aunt Hawkeye about it!"). Hawkeye is tall, lanky, obviously "weird", "strange", a jokester and, I cannot emphasize this enough, obsessed with pregnancy. It's the thematic ideal of stability to him. Textually, the incorporation of pregnancy is an advanced development of his rejection of the army and the war. It's also incredibly funny. Have you seen Alan Alda? Get 👏 him 👏 pregnant 👏 now!!! 👏"
[Grunkle Ford]
"He has that pathetic nerd swag why wouldn't I want him pregnant. I know multiple people who would want to bang that senior citizen."
"okay so this is the most breedable motherfucker in gravity falls. sorry but its true. eldritch chaos god triangle wants him so bad he ended the world about it, genius engineer wanted him so bad it made his wife divorce him, aliens want him, everyone in the town keeps calling him a silver fox and hot, etc. his autistic swag, presumable complete sexual inexperience in his 60s, and whimsy are a recipe for all to feel extreme lust when gazing upon his visage.
reasons that he is so mpreg-able aside, it is actually somewhat plausible that he is currently, as we speak, mpregnant. the new gravity falls book, the book of bill, had a website that was released to promote the book and also relay a bunch of new fun information and arg things. this new book, in universe, is written with the intent to be read by ford, and for the website, it is showcasing ford's laboratory. so one could view all of the material with the perspective of it being directed at ford.
one of these messages on the website is an image of an ultrasound of a baby-- a triangular baby. on it, there is the message "congrats, guess what's growing inside you right now! see you in nine months, papa!"
so…. ford might be mpregnant with his ex, bill ciphers baby. yayyyy."
"He's just so submissive and breedable. he should get a sci fi abortion. he would not enjoy fatherhood."
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“I’m Going Slightly Mad” is a Hawkeye song
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