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“Underestimate me so I can embarrass you.”

— (via faeloved)

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Pointing, and texting, and gesturing, is how I connect to the world.  So that guy had to stop and figure out how to engage with me without talking.  So what?  He’ll survive.  If he’s uncomfortable with me that’s his problem, but most people aren’t.  They figure it out.  I’m different, it’s okay.   

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Emmett Bledsoe + Season One

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✘  outofthelight:

Huh. A Deaf drummer in a band. That was not something he’d expected but that was pretty neat. And he was a bit relieved the Murder story wound up being a bit anticlimactic even if he had been expecting somebody with a gruesome hobby over like an actual serial killer.

‘That’s pretty cool I kind’ve wish I could play an instrument but I’ve never been like especially great at music or anything. And I can see why he’d hate that being named from a mistake but that’s it’s pretty funny actually.’ Though he hoped if he did get a sign name his wouldn’t be so embarrassing.

He thought about it for a minute. ‘Not a ton outside of like essays for school and stuff but sometimes I’ll try and write like little stories and things just stuff that comes to mind.’

Admittedly nothing he’d consider incredibly polished and most of the stories fairly short but he had them all on his computer for the moment. When he was younger he’d show them to his mom but now he kept them mostly to himself. It was interesting, he’d never thought of that as an especially cool hobby either. He wondered if Emmett was being polite or if he genuinely meant it.

‘Well I started when I was pretty young. Obviously didn’t bother my parents but our neighbors hated me. Not just for the drums - if I’m listening to music without headphones, the whole street knows it.’ Of course, as he got older, he became a little more respectful. That didn’t stop him from playing until the floorboards shook. Only now he didn’t do it at the crack of dawn.

‘We all think it’s funny, Murder isn’t so sure but you can tell he doesn’t really mind. His sign name that he was given before that was ‘Smooth’ which isn’t a whole load better.’ Emmett didn’t think it was at least. Murder was based in a fun memory, it was more meaningful. 

As he read, Emmett gave a genuine smile. Lips formed a silent ‘ah’ and he nodded in interest. He could relate more to the writing than he could the nature, but then Emmett was sure people probably thought the same about his hobbies too.

He typed his own response, ‘I get that, so much school stuff it doesn’t feel like you have time to do stuff you actually want to do. Good to keep it up though, my mom literally goes on and ON about ‘creative outlets’ so I’m sure she’d approve of you.’ And that was no easy feat where Melody Bledsoe was involved.

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✘  outofthelight:

Takes time. Emmett was saying he wasn’t planning on just leaving. Evan definitely hadn’t scared him off somehow. Maybe, just maybe, he could actually be making a friend. Or on the way to making one at least.

It was an interesting kind of thing to think about, though. If he was going to have a name based on one aspect of himself what would he be named after? He was glad that Emmett was okay with not having something at the ready  because it felt like that did need some time and thought to really get right.

‘You play drums? And Murder? That’s why was he named that? And I guess? I’m hoping to work as an apprentice park ranger again, kind’ve into the whole nature forestry thing. I read a lot and I guess I’m a pretty decent writer.’

Was it rude to be surprised that the Deaf kid played drums? Music just seemed like an interesting choice in hobby for somebody that couldn’t hear it.

Emmett was not entirely oblivious. He could be a bit at times, but he had noticed that Evan seemed a little nervous. Not that he had much idea as to why. As far as he saw it, Evan was a nice enough dude. He was nonjudgmental, he made an effort and didn’t complain about Emmett using his phone to communicate. That made Evan OK in his books.

He was used to the surprise that followed whenever he said he played drums. People would rarely take him for it, but Emmett was a big music fan. Though he was rarely bothered by the surprise it elicited. 

There was a grin  as he typed. ‘Yeah! I’m actually in a band - I love music. Murder is a dude called Jake but his surname is ‘Burder’ - someone read his lips wrong and he’s been Murder ever since. He hates introducing himself in public but we all think it’s hilarious. It’s fine he has started getting used it it.’  It did not help the case that every time someone else signed his name, the sign became more and more dramatic.

‘And see! Already, that’s pretty cool. What kind of stuff do you write?’ The park ranger thing, Emmett wouldn’t say it wasn’t cool, but it was definitely not his area of expertise. 

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✘  outofthelight:

Evan wasn’t exactly a motorcycle kind of guy admittedly but he could imagine rich parents would automatically think a motorcycle meant like bad influence or something. Even if Emmett didn’t look like the biker gang type or anything.

It was a hard question he was posing though. What defined Evan? A sign that was just for him. That said something about him. What were things about him that felt like they defined him if he could narrow it down?

There was a lot of not great things about him. Anxiety, the inability to talk to people (it was lucky he was writing with Emmett), the fact he was pretty much alone. Those were probably the things he felt would brand him as hopeless and pathetic if he let people see too closely. But what were some of the good things? His love of nature? The fact that he was a good writer? He’d either be a loser or a nerd the things he could come up with.

‘I don’t know,’ he eventually typed out to show Emmett.

Emmett wasn’t sure what - if anything - defined him. He had his hobbies, his job, things he liked. But the range was so wide that focusing in on ONE particular thing seemed almost pointless. The way Emmett liked to think about it  was that it wasn’t one of these things that defined him, but all of them. 

He frowned in thought after reading Evan’s reply. Well, they had time. He gave the other boy a friendly pat on the arm  and a nod as he held out his own phone again. ‘We’ll think of something. Sometimes it just takes time.’ Emmett smiled with a shrug, before adding onto the text. 

‘You can be named after...literally anything. My best friend is called ‘Happy’ - which suits her perfectly. Do you have a job?  Hobbies? Though they aren’t always great, I mean, I love to play drums but I’m pretty glad that’s not my sign-name. Not that anything could be worse than this guy I know ‘Murder’.’ 

A true, and unfortunate (for Murder, anyway) story. 

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STARTER CALL.

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✘  outofthelight:  

Evan couldn’t help a small laugh at the thought of the Deaf kid on a motorcycle riding up to a school full of preppy rich kids. Well, probably more specifically any of the rich kids parents.

‘Yeah I bet that’s gonna make you a lot of friends with a crowd like that.’

There was something familiar about the motion for thanks that made Evan feel like he’d seen it before. He tried to commit that one to memory along side sorry and Emmett’s sign name which he was repeating. It was a miracle he hadn’t majorly messed any of this up yet but Emmett wasn’t mad or annoyed at him yet so that was promising.

‘No that’s I mean it’s probably the kind of name my mom would have given me so. Embarrassing names in any language probably have a way of sticking so thanks. You just decide on one for me then?’

Somehow the way it was talked about being given made Evan feel like this was a big deal. Which made him feel very self-conscious. Did that mean Emmett liked him enough to want to do that for him? Think that they’d be talking enough he’d need a name for him? He didn’t want to assume anything like that but…it seemed like you wouldn’t do that for just anybody or for somebody you didn’t like.

He smiled and shook his head, it hadn’t been the first time hearing people had taken issue with him driving a motorcycle,  and it probably wouldn’t be the last. But on this occasion, he had loved seeing their reactions.

Emmett had given sign-names to people he didn’t like once or twice. Though they were not terribly flattering. However, for the most part, it was a thing which Emmett reserved for new friends. His way of initiating them into his community.

‘Yeah! I haven’t actually given a lot of people signs. I don’t meet a lot of hearing people. But it’ll be something just for you. Something to do with your appearance, or personality, something you like. It’s something more unique than a name.  Plus if you met another Deaf person you can do your name- sign and they’ll know something about you...plus the fact that you’re cool enough to get one.’

And when Emmett introduced himself, people knew that he was probably named by someone quite embarrassing. And that certainly wasn’t incorrect. They were not always great,  of course, just ask his friend ‘Dribble’ - a name given after one unfortunate incident that nobody had let him forget.

‘So what defines you?’

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✘  outofthelight

Buckner. That was a private school, yeah? Probably if it was supposedly full of rich a-holes. So his girlfriend sounded like the rebellious rich kid type. A world Evan wouldn’t know anything about.

Looking at the photo, Evan could tell they looked happy. it was a nice picture. And his girlfriend was beautiful. He wondered if that was Emmett’s motorcycle but since he was in front Evan guessed that it was. This guy seemed to have a pretty good life, and Evan couldn’t quite fathom why he was wasting his time on a loser like him.

‘Yeah I don’t think I’d do well at a school like that. That’s a nice picture of the two of you.’

A sign-name? Evan supposed that was like the sign Emmett had made when he’d introduced himself (a brief flash of panic as he tried to remember how it went and almost positive he was remembering wrong). He said the words as he copied Emmett’s movements. (Yeah he was probably going to mess up the other boy’s name).

‘Not really not one that I’ve really gotten to talk to or anything. Is a sign-name something that would mean Evan?’

Emmett’s life certainly wasn’t bad. He counted himself lucky everyday when it came to his girlfriend. His friends. His family.  He had all the usual issues a teenage boy did but for the most part, Emmett was pretty content. For the time being. 

‘From the way she talks about it, I don’t know how anyone does well there. You should see the looks I get going there on my bike. - Thanks dude.’ 

He signed a quick [Thanks] too, hoping that the sign would be obvious enough. As Evan repeated the words, Emmett nodded encouragingly. With the text, he signed [Yeah!] with one hand,  typing with the other. 

‘Exactly, so mine is Emmett’ He showed his sign-name once  more. ‘That’s like the sign for ‘freckles’ but you do it it with one hand, and your hand’s in an E. - Don’t laugh, my mom gave it to me. I was a super freckly kid. - You get given one by a Deaf person, so I’ll get to give you yours. You’re lucky, some people give out REALLY embarrassing names - and trust me, they stick.’ 

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✘  outofthelight 

Evan couldn’t help but smile. It was a rare accomplishment when he actually started talking to somebody about hanging out after school. Well his mom would be proud anyway (which was probably good reason to maybe relax on telling her, he could feel her squeezing his shoulder already). It felt nice to have somebody offering something like that though.

‘Yeah, totally. That sounds awesome. So your girlfriend she goes somewhere else then?’

He was asking more as a point of curiosity and as an excuse to practice this whole small talk conversation thing he needed to get better at.

At the question of a nickname, Evan furrowed his brow a bit. Nobody’d really asked him about one before. His name was only four letters long so really it didn’t seem like it was normally an issue, though he supposed it was two syllables so it could be shortened if anybody wanted to.

‘Not really. I guess sometimes maybe Ev but mostly just I go by Evan.’

Emmett wasn’t entirely sure how his mom might react. Melody wanted him to make friends of course, but she was perhaps even more anxious than Emmett was about this whole situation. Still, things appeared to be going alright, outside of Emmett’s classes, at least. 

‘Yeah, she goes to Buckner. She went there before she came to Carlton. Still hates it, says it’s full of rich a-holes. I may not love it here, but it’s probably still better than going there.’ 

He brought his phone back and swiped a few times, then held  it up again, now showing a selfie of the two of them on the back of his bike. (The two loves of his like, Bay, and his motorcycle.)

He nodded slightly, that was understandable. Emmett himself  didn’t have a real nickname, at least not in the usual sense - occasionally drummer boy or ginger, but Emmett hardly needed shortening. ‘Have you ever met a Deaf person before? I’ll probably need to give you a sign-name.’ He demonstrated the sign slowly. [ Sign - Name. ]

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✘  outofthelight:

In all truthfulness, Evan had never really seen it that way. Sure it wasn’t hurting anybody and sure he still thought it was cool but it hadn’t really been his experience that in high school all hobbies were treated equal. Certain things were considered cooler than others and certain things were just considered lame and boring. Not that this was his only issue connecting with people but even so.

‘Yeah, probably, I should try that see what I can find. And yeah that’d be really awesome I’d love to see your pictures sometime.’

He wasn’t saying that just to be polite (that was part of the reason but not completely it), he honestly was curious to see some of Emmett’s pictures. And not just to identify trees. He could even try and refrain from saying anything about the plant life in the pictures if Emmett didn’t want him to, he didn’t want to annoy the person he’d been having the most promising conversation he’d had in a long time with. 

God he was probably coming across as really pathetic. Evan wouldn’t be surprised if this was all pure pity on the other boy’s part. But he was nice and he didn’t seem to think there was anything too weird about Evan.

In theory, Emmett understood that some hobbies were not as cool as others - but as far as he saw it, people didn’t - or at least shouldn’t - take up hobbies based on how cool they are. He couldn’t help but think that he wouldn’t want to have friends who judged others on such small things. But the boy wasn’t oblivious to the ways of most teenagers. He’d simply been happy to stay out of any of that drama. 

‘That’d be really cool! We could always hang out after classes one day? I always have time before I have to go pick up my girlfriend from her high school, anyway.’ 

And, even with it’s issues, Emmett knew that this new school   was bound to be better than hers, if only from the horror stories she had told him. Full of the jerk-off kids of rich parents, all of whom she hated. Still, if Emmett had managed to find a friend here, clearly there was hope for her too. 

Bringing his phone back down, Emmett typed another message, holding up one finger as he did before showing Evan. ‘So do you have any nicknames or anything?’ If he was going to hang out  with this guy, Emmett should at least give him a name in his own language. (Plus it was easier than spelling it out.)

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✘  irregularitiies:

She can’t help but giggle a little at the words, nodding before offering a response. “I mean it could be worse. I walked in on my aunt on a date once. Super gross.”

Emmett pulled a face of slight disgust at the idea, before replying [Wait, wait. How far into the date were they? Walking in on dinner is no problem, but...]

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✘  outofthelight:

Okay figured Emmett wouldn’t quite get the talking thing though Evan had really meant more communication in general than speech in specific though speech was definitely harder than writing most of the time. But true Emmett wouldn’t have to worry about it. Could you stutter in sign language? Well Evan was sure he’d be able to at any rate. Oh or maybe Emmett had meant he hadn’t had problems with communication in general either he didn’t seem like the kind of person who would.

‘You don’t? You’d be one of the few if not the only then. Not that I don’t really get it though. I think photography sounds pretty neat though.’

And he did, sure that Emmett had taken some really awesome pictures. It actually seemed pretty interesting. Evan couldn’t really puzzle out exactly what his signs meant but he could get a who cares kind of attitude out of it. He felt kind of guilty about the language barrier honestly. It was probably managing to make things more difficult for them both. Though Emmett definitely had the more easy care-free attitude which Evan envied greatly.

Emmett had always been confident with communicating in his own language. He had been taught that signing was an important part of his culture, and something he should be proud of, and of course it always helped that the boy rarely felt shy. He’d grown up loud, proud and confident - which  he was now increasingly grateful for. Even communicating  with hearing people wasn’t TOO difficult, it may take a little  longer, and if they didn’t want to put in the extra few seconds? Well, that wasn’t Emmett’s problem. 

Leaning in, with his elbows on the table, Emmett read, he shook his head a little with the first question. No, he really  didn’t think it was lame. Fingers swiftly moved over his own keyboard. 

‘A hobby is a hobby, dude. As long as you enjoy it, that’s what matters, right? It’s not exactly hurting anybody, and you could always go online? There’s a chatroom for everything  these days. I should show you some of my pictures sometime,  I bet you could tell me the types of trees they are and everything.’

Of course, he had no real interest in trees. But hobbies (his mom had always informed him) were a good way of  forming friendships. Besides, Emmett couldn’t help but feel a LITTLE bad for the guy  and the way he was seemingly cast out by most of the people here. 

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                                   — YOUR MUM HAS NEVER MET A GIRL LIKE ME.

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