dukeofankh

[dukeofankh]

the weirdly vengeful and petty tones aborted babies take in pro-life propaganda images are so funny like this passive aggressive "was it worth it mommy?" and "it's a shame you can't join me in heaven mommy 😔" like do you ever wonder if you were aborted for a reason you little bitch ass baby

[dukeofankh]

“why do you have a gap in your resume” idk why is there a gap in your staff. worry about that

[dukeofankh]

knight who is constantly searching for a good and noble king to serve but cannot fucking find one for the life of him so he has to become the good and noble king himself.

and now all these other knights are coming around like "please let me serve you" and like obviously hes going to let them serve him thats the point of being a good and noble king but its also. very annoying. one of you become the good and noble king for once lets trade

[dukeofankh]

it seems like the key theme of fungus is that they eat everything including things otherwise impossible to eat, they get everywhere with their tiny spores, and they grow and be happy wherever it is wet by eating the surroundings. So if get inside your body (wet) they eat you. so your two main options for being a multicellular organism are developing an immune system (most animals) or hiring other fungus to beat the shit out of the fungus that gets inside your body (most plants)

[dukeofankh]

I mean, these days the idea of gamers being recruited to be drone pilots for the military is more real than ever, honestly. I don't think it's that the speculative fiction became increasingly unrealistic, it's that it became mundane.

There used to be a plotline that goes something like "you're the best gamer in the world, and game was really just a covert training and recruitment tool, so now you're going to use those skills to fight aliens or whatever". It's more or less gone away, one of those speculative fiction tropes that did not stand the test of time.

I think it's a great premise though, and should start being applied to other hobbies.

"Ma'am, this regional knitting competition was actually a covert operation to find someone to run this machine of the elder gods we found buried in the desert."

"Congratulations on your silver play button, you are hereby inducted into the Paranormal Defense Force, a subsidiary of Youtube and a branch of the United States military."

"Welcome to the Olympic village. If you've made it this far, you're hereby recruited into the international super soldier program, fighting our enemies at the edge of the Crab Nebula."

[dukeofankh]

I like the idea of a Vulcan character who constantly does very reckless things so her human crewmates think she's strange but then she always has a logical explanation she delivers with absolute confidence.

"No, it was perfectly logical for me to jump out of the shuttle at that time. I had a breathing apparatus, and I was certain I could seal the subspace rift by hand before the Romulans opened fire. This was the only solution that would result in zero casualties. I might have died, but giving up is illogical."

She's known as one of the most fearless members of the crew.

Other Vulcans try not to acknowledge her.

[dukeofankh]

Devastated that rbs were turned off. I need this on my blog.

[dukeofankh]

Shit man, this mech war is fucked. I just saw a doll shoulder its rifle and say "reality warp: black hole star" or some similar shit, and every mech around it cratered, radiated a ring of pure energy, and disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto it, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is firing anti-personnel rounds and buckshot. I think I just heard "nanomachines: skewer" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

[dukeofankh]

*clears throat* Hey my friends, I attended a bee wedding this past weekend. I bet you would like to know how was it.

[dukeofankh]

Thinking about those people who want to fuck Lego Bionicles

[dukeofankh]

STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:

transition

bdsm

iron supplements

[dukeofankh]

[dukeofankh]

when youre talking to someone and you can tell theyre a sex baby and not a stork baby

[dukeofankh]

"However the locals eat. I just love ethnic food"

Of course I GOTTA order a full English breakfast since I'm in ENGLAND!! [hotel staff is super busy, appear to be arguing about something with barely restrained passion] I GOTTA have a PLAIN BAGEL from the CONTINENTAL BUFFET since I'm in ENGLAND

[dukeofankh]

perhaps an imbalance of...no...I shan't say...

Cum is the 5th humor and brother, I'm about to start acting hilarious

[dukeofankh]

Get fucked cunt