dumbass-bisexual

[dumbass-bisexual]

I think "no hatewatching" is a good policy to have, but less because you have to deprive Big Media Corp of your $15 or whatever for a movie ticket, which makes very little difference to them, and more because you should not, for your own spiritual health, waste your time on movies that you know are bad and/or you will not enjoy.

Surround yourself with what is true and good and beautiful. Avert your eyes from what is cheap and soulless and ugly.

[dumbass-bisexual]

[dumbass-bisexual]

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

[dumbass-bisexual]

there are some pigeons that roost in a traffic light by my house and it delights me every time i see them

[dumbass-bisexual]

"What were you doing at the devils sacrament" jarking my whole thing off. Next quiestuon.

[dumbass-bisexual]

Yep, I'm a city slicker. Wake up one morning and your city's all slick? That was me.

[dumbass-bisexual]

idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it

[dumbass-bisexual]

It seems like the older I get, the more irrationally angry casual censorship makes me. And it isn't just the "unalive" "grape" alleged filter-dodging vernacular, but the way normal words will be peppered with asterisks, or screenshots will have words like "gay" "hell" "fuck" etc either partially or entirely blurred. Who is this helping? What is the purpose of it, except to reinforce shame and elevate a flimsy perception of purity and safety, however those things manifest. It's so tiresome and I'm sick of it.

[dumbass-bisexual]

[dumbass-bisexual]

every prehistoric human reconstruction has me thinking “I want to smoke weed with this bitch”

she looks like she would have been an awesome neighbor, like she would have loved menthols and called me baby

[dumbass-bisexual]

teenagers in panem saying it’s not their fault they watch the hunger games and cheering on the deaths of the tributes because it’s their hyperfixation and they cant help it :(

[dumbass-bisexual]

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

[dumbass-bisexual]

tips on what to say when someone says they have a seafood allergy:

if you care for them, you can say, "thank you for informing me--i won't have seafood near you"

if you hate them, you can say, "my shrimpathies"

[dumbass-bisexual]

btw if you’re fat and your partner doesn’t love you wholeheartedly, if they’re attracted to you “despite” your body, if they avoid touching you, if they look away from certain parts of you, you’re allowed to break up with that person. look at me. you can do better. you are not unloveable and you don’t have to settle i fucking promise.

[dumbass-bisexual]

so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

[dumbass-bisexual]

[dumbass-bisexual]