dungeons-and-dorks-galore

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Our Tabaxi rogue, Seven: Blam! Blam!

Lizardfolk wizard, Arthritis (her little brother out of game): Hey don't shoot me!

Seven, OOC: I'm faking it.

Arthritis, OOC: Don't shoot me! You know I'm squishy!

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Our Tabaxi rogue: I've spent my nickle!

Fallen aasimar bloodhunter: your nipple!?

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Space campaign session #1 highlights

"does he have to roll to nut?"

"I have a sword; stab stab!"

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Highlight of Levi's campaign session 4

Our moon elf rogue, Meim, riding a giant weasel into town after getting drunk at a casino.

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"It's the bag of holding, but, a wagon!"

— the DM after we asked how we were able to fit so much stiff in the wagon

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"Use your thieves' toys to get us outta here"

— our wood elf bard to our moon elf rogue

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Our wood elf bard OOC: well saying the city has quadrants implies there are four of them.

DM: pentrants, then?

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Homemade character sheets for our space campaign: bigger inventory space!

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Space Campaign stuff

My boyfriend is the DM for this one. It's Star Wars and also Guardians of the Galaxy. We're all ridiculous.

Our party is as follows:

- A tabaxi rogue who is soft and fuzzy but also steals things and shoots the guns on the ship.

- A gnome fighter who shoots guns like there's no tomorrow and fixes spaceships.

- A lizard wizard who's named something like Arthritis.

- A tiefling cleric that's a pacifist but also doesn't stay with the party to heal anyone.

- A fallen aasimar bloodhunter that's #edgy and has armor way that's too strong.

- A Goliath that we accidentally left on a ship that exploded so he's dead now.

- An air genasai fighter that our DM keeps calling an "air nomad" like this is Avatar or something.

- A wholesome aasimar with green hair that plays the bagpipes.

I'll post highlights as they come. We've had a few sessions but my notes are at home right now.

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So You Decided to Play D&D...

How you think it works:

How it actually does:

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This week, on My Strange Addiction

This week, on My Strange Addiction

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Context: The party just avoided combat entirely by getting creative and burning down a camp of werewolves. Carric's player had been talking about how much he wanted to be a werewolf, and this session was going to be his opportunity to become one. The party saved some kids who had been turned, and took them back to the village in which they were staying.

Carric (eladrin rogue): Oh man I can't believe we burned down that camp, I'm never gonna be a werewolf now!

Elira (Half-elf Wizard): Hey man it's okay, you wouldn't want that anyway; oh by the way, kids: this curse you have can be cured but you're gonna have to take a bunch of precautionary measures to make sure you don't hurt anybody or infect anyone else.

Carric: *immediately asks the kids to bite him*

Carric: *passes the saving throw multiple times*

DM & Elira OOC: you're not gonna be a werewolf please stop

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This is my party

Can I fail the save?

Context: a werewolf appears in front of the group. Party size is about 8 level 5 characters

Dm: “So the man transforms into a werewolf before you all. Actions?”

Party: “we attack it.”

Monk: “I immediately run away” (almost every encounter)

Witch Hunter: “I get right up in its face and attack it!”

Dm: “You get bit by the werewolf. Roll a save.”

Witch Hunter: “Can I fail the save?”

Dm: *sighs “No.”

Witch Hunter succeeds on save.

Dm: “After a hard fought battle you all manage to slay the werewolf.”

Monk returns suddenly to claim glory

Witch Hunter: “Okay, I run over and cut the werewolf’s arm off and drink it’s blood!”

Entire table collectively sighs

Dm: “Okaaay…so you do that…Roll a con save.”

Witch Hunter: *proudly proclaims “NATURAL 1!”

Dm: “yeah, you throw up.”

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Highlights from last night:

- the whole party doing non-alcoholic shots every time someone rolled a nat 1, every time Will or Audacity made alcoholic jokes, whenever Audacity made a gay joke, whenever Elira's player was nitpicky about the rules or when she rolled below a 5, whenever Carric said something edgy or rolled above a 25, whenever Austin made a joke, and whenever Corgs used an improvised weapon.

- Elira's Virginia southern accent

- Will's player's real authentic southern accent

- "There's a snake in your wall!"

- Austin's player trying not to make jokes during the session and lasting 18 minutes

- Will wearing a dress to act as werewolf bait and Austin hiding his clothes

- DM: "make a performance check". Carric: "a performance check!?". Elira: "A performance check."

- "This is Stockholm syndrome!"

- Elira and Audacity bonding over being magic users

- William making a child NPC carry a cask of ale several miles through the forest

- Elira: "who wants to come with me to get some weapons?" Austin: "I like weapons!"

- The whole party being so creative that they got out of fighting werewolves by burning their encampment down while still saving every human hostage there. So proud of them.

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Elira Astorio, our party's wizard played by the amazing @tisthelegume

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dungeons and dragons

expectations: lord of the rings, elder scrolls, game of thrones, etc

reality: It’s Always Sunny in The Forgotten Realms

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@coioioiaiaioi

who u think the Cleric u hired is

vs

who he actually is