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Reconnected

“Hello”

“Heyy, hows everything :)”

That’s how we started talking again. I was afraid he wouldn’t reply, but he did in the end. Turns out, he was craving for me as much as I was craving for him.

We had a secret staycay for the night at Sheraton. The moment I laid eyes on him as he approached me, I felt a tingle inside me. He was still as hot as ever. How did I ever have such a chance with this boy, and the funny thing is that he thinks that I am the cutest boy he know. After a few rounds of soju and beer, he did confess that he wanted to talk to me and felt bad for ignoring me. He felt bad for “using me” as I did confess my feelings for him some point last year.

Once we had enough pee stored up in us, we moved to the bathroom to do what we liked best. He made me kneel and take in his dick into my mouth. I was deprived from him for more than a year, how could I say no? Looking at his dick, it brought back many flashbacks of our past sessions. His dick is the perfect length and perfect thickness, uncut like how I like it to be. He started peeing on my face and I took it whole heartedly. I rubbed it on my face and body. Damn, the warm feeling of his liquids really do feel good. I swallowed some hungrily, but also saved some for him when we made out. The hotness for swapping his pee back and forth between his mouth and mine was out of this world. Once he is done, it was my turn. “Damn you are mine. Make me yours”

Even the idea of peeing on someone to make them yours (territory), was exploding with hotness.

I peed on his chiseled face and well toned body. I’ve never encountered another boy who is as crazy into this fetish as me. Once we are done, we rinsed ourselves, and proceeded back to the bed for more drinks and some cuddling. The horny him wanted to be rough with me like how we agreed over text. He forced his dick into my mouth and face fucked me like a slave I was. And I was a willing slave. I wanted this beautiful dick more than anything, of course I will take it all even if it means to tear and gag from it.

While I did a great job serving his hot body and dick, he wanted to return the favour as well. One thing that he missed after so long, is rimming my ass. Never have I encountered anyone who worshipped my ass like he does, and it made me so in love with him. His tongue ravaged my hole and I was dying from pleasure. Poppers also made him insatiable.

“Can you fuck me, please?”

“I know you want it. Okay”

He grabbed the lube and started fingering my already relaxed hole. I’ve been a bottom for many guys, but only he could make me so wet and relaxed. He also wanted to enter me missionary, where we could see each other’s face during the first penetration.

His dick is huge, but so satisfying. I could feel his every inch sliding into me bit by bit, and when it is fully inside, we took a good look at each other and started making love.

There’s one thing great about him, is that he can be a top machine for an hour, and still could keep going.

“Baby, you ass is made perfect for my dick”

“I know, my hole is yours tonight”

Once he grew tired from pumping me so hard, we changed position from missionary, to me riding him on his dick. Damn I miss this feeling. Sliding his dick head in and out of my hole at my own will, clenching my hole, so that he can feel more. I took a look at his face and couldn’t help myself from kissing him. “I miss you and I love you so much”

“I love you too”

“My hole is a perfect match for your dick. I know that you will not find another boy like me”

“Yeah baby, you are the best. I will always gonna think of you whenever I am having sex. You make me feel so good.”

“Only you know how to make me feel good too”

I knew that what we had for each other could not be real love. But at that moment, I could feel that he really did love me, and so was I. It really felt like I was his, and he was mine. Fuck this intense feeling. I really do miss and love him.

I think he did pound me quite hard. My ass was leaking dirty liquids and we had to stop the fucking. We washed up, and then back to the bed, where he took out his massage oil and start to jerk off. Looking at his toned body, I kept praising his godlike body and boosted his ego. He clearly liked it when I praised him. I rubbed his body and jerked him off, and when he finally was going to cum, I brought my mouth to the tip, held all his load in his mouth, and made out with him. I wanted him so badly that I was crazy over his sperm and swallowed a mouthful of it. What made it hotter was that he snowballed his own load with me and swallowed his own load too. Fuck I will never ever meet a top that will enjoy swallowing his own load.

Love and miss you Eugene.

23rd Aug 2022

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Conflicted

I have been dating King for quite a while now. I know long distance relationship is a difficult hurdle to overcome. I didn’t think too much at the beginning, but I was very happy when I was with you. I felt peaceful, safe and loved when you took your time to bring me around and even travelling with to Pattaya and Phuket. To be honest, I was always thinking of when this relationship will end, because it is not easy to see each other. However as the days go by, I do see a future with you, and I do know that I want to end up walking the aisle down with you. It is true that you love me more than I do for you. I try to psycho myself time and time again to open my heart out to you, and to accept your love. I am trying hard now.

But my evil side of me has no control over temptations. I still do think about Eugene and other hookups I had before. Sometimes I just feel so needy for sex and I get so tempted whenever there is an opportunity dangling in my face. I succumbed to it last night when I hooked up with Edison, and now I am thinking about Eugene. Eugene has always been a real connection with me in bed. I lust over him as much as he lusted over me. And on the lonely bus ride home, my mind kept thinking about the fateful night that we had the best sex in our lives. But sadly Eugene might not talk to me anymore, because I did confess to him my feelings for him before. In summary, all he had for me was lust. He loved sex with me, but never in the romantic way (which I am fine now). Right now, I just want to re-connect with Eugene and continue our dirty little secret. If only....

20th August 2022

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The best sex ever

I didn’t want to forget this, so I’m writing it out now, in this blog I forsaken for over a year. Sex with you is always amazing, it just feels so right when both our fetishes align so well. I’ve always wanted to go the extra mile with you, just because I couldn’t get enough of your thick hard dick every time.

This time, we booked a hotel last minute and we checked in at about 10.45pm for the night. When I saw him, my heart was racing, and I couldn’t help but to put a smile on my face. Excitement and lust filled my heart, because we’ve been sex deprived from each other for months, and this time, we know we are going to get everything out of each other. We started of with a few rounds of gin tonic, catching up with each other, praising each other on what a good job we have done in life so far. Somehow, I feel proud of him, and the feat that he had achieved. Listening to him talk about his success to get a PHD and also a good career in future, just makes me so proud of him. Perhaps we poured a little too much into our drinks, we quickly got high. And just as the high kicks in, our hands started to find their way into groping each other’s bodies. He is hot. Frequent gymming made his body lean and muscular, and accompanied by his tanned skin and hairy body, he is god in my eyes. He became so handsome and hot, and I kept wondering how did I even get a chance with this boy. We were all over each other on the bed, making out passionately like always, when I decided to drop him a proposition which I have been thinking for the longest time. I always liked our connection in sex, he tops well and he connects with me in the most sensual and sexual way I’ve ever experienced. And hence, I wanted to try E sex, just to go onto another level. Filled with lust and high, I asked him if he wanted to go higher. I always wondered if he would react adversely or maybe think bad about me for this, but after last night, I felt like I could open to him more than I could, because I think he is as adventurous as I am. He was sold into the idea, and we took half each, as we were already visibly high from gin at that point. I also gave him a pill of viagra, which thankfully made everything for that night work. I couldn’t remember what followed, but we ended up in the toilet to do what we liked best. Golden showers. Many of my friends judge the idea of it, but to me having warm pee all over me is so hot, and the way he liked it the same, makes it even hotter. We took turns and traded pee on our faces and into our mouth. I was so high and horny that I took a few mouthfuls and swallowed them. I then held some in my mouth, and we went in for a kiss with pee in our mouths. Once we were done, we ended up showering and drying ourselves up, before proceeding to the bed for the action that we have been waiting for months to do. When the E kicked in, everything came to live. We were so high up and our bodies started to have a mind on its own. Even making out was extra hot as I could feel his body with every inch of my skin and tongue. I waste no time and took his rock hard dick into my mouth, giving him the high blowjob like he owned me. Under the effects of E, it made him super sensitive and he almost lost his mind to a blowjob that he never experienced before. We moved to a 69 position to take our dicks into our mouths, savouring each other like its last night in our lives.

I knew E wouldn’t last forever, so I quickly begged him to enter me and start fucking me out of my mind. He was so high and naughty that he wanted to rim me hard. I felt his tongue ravaging my hole like never before. The amount of pleasure he was giving me, is making me roll my eyes back into my head, and begging him to fuck me.

i knew he couldn’t wait as well because it didn’t take long for him to take out his lube, and start entering me lovingly. I was so relaxed and high, that I managed to take his dick in pretty well, and once he was fully in, that is when I wished that the night never ended. Feeling his raw thick dick inside me for the first time in E, makes everything so beautiful and perfect. When our eyes and lips locked, with him fully inside me, I felt like I wanted to give him my whole ass for the rest of my life. I took a look at his chiseled tanned handsome face, and the amount of pleasure his face gave, is something that I will never forget for life.

He made love to me that night, and for a moment, I kinda felt that I was his boyfriend instead. “I missed you baby” “I missed you too. I love it so much. You don’t know how fucking cute you are. I am so lucky to be able to fuck such a cute boy”

“You are so hot baby and I fucking love your dick. I wish I can own them for myself” “You know that I always think of you when I’m fucking my boyfriend?”

“Make me yours tonight baby, and I will make you mine”

And then we dropped into some gibberish which I forgot, because everything was exploding in my mind. The sex, the hotness, the words that he is saying, its too much. But I will always remember one part of it, which made my heart melt. “I love you. I fucking love you”

“I love you too baby”

E is a love drug they say. And the amount of connection we had that night was so intensive that blurted out our love for each other. I always felt bad to be a homewrecker, but with a handsome guy who thinks that I am so attractive, it is hard to resist the temptation.

“Wahhhh, you make it so worth it to cheat”

“Don’t say that baby”

After the high started to subside, we started to look at each other and start giving each other kisses, with his dick still in me, and had some lovey dovey chat which I sadly couldn’t remember much anymore.

Both of us were so satisfied that we no longer needed to cum, but knowing him as a Top machine, we took in a few rounds of poppers and continued our sex which we have been craving for so long. The high kicked back in, but it didnt last long unlike the effects of E.

We ended up cuddling with his dick still inside my ass.

This is one night that I will never ever forget for life. Who knew that a night like this can feel so good, but feel so wrong at the same time. Now that we have both tried high sex, I hope that it wouldn’t push the bar up for sex. At least for tonight, I made him mine, and he made me his.

Eugene, I love you

28th June 2021

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Late night emo

Bert told me that I’ve changed. Not for the better, but becoming more jaded as the years went by. I never realised this, until he said this.

Like the last time my friends saw me truely smiling and happy, is during my birthday. Have I been sulking alot? Have I become so negative that I didnt realise this at all?

Anw, from today onwards, im gonna limit my conversations with you. I just realised that I was never your priority, and here I was, treating you like one. This might turn hateful, but i dont care anymore.

Goodbye Kenneth

1 Nov 2019

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Haha

1 Nov 2019

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痛

It hurts. Even though it was just one meet up, but its always that one meet up that makes or break.

Looks like its a break.

31 Oct 2019

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Hope before 2019 ends?

After falling in and out of love. I finally found that special connection again. I know I should’nt plunge myself too deep into this, but after meeting you, you are the type that I would go for.

Same aged, career smart, ambitious. Ah so attractive. With a handsome face like yours, you are so perfect.

But you are Bi, and leaving the country soon to study, and perhaps gonna settle overseas for work too. Not sure how would this play out, but if I could be honest with you right now, I would go out on another date with you.

To you Nelson

30 Oct 2019

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Still

After all this time, seeing you makes me happy. Knowing that you are alive and well, makes me happier. Just give you a shoulder to sleep on, in the cab, makes me happy.

You will always have a special place in my heart. I dont know what went wrong in the past, but it is such a pity that we are not together. You are one of the rare people im willing to give up everything for. Such a pity. What a pity.

Perhaps if fate allows us to intersect in the future again, I would fight harder just to be with you.

Jiayou on your work, and your relationship, Joshua. I will always be at the side, cheering you on.

Love,

Leon

9 June 2018

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Resolution

I should give myself a time, for me to move on, and stop thinking about u. All I ask, is just for you to stop randomly texting me. I hate that you are occupying my mind most of the time. I hate knowing that its not going to happen, but still choose to force a drop of hope, just for you.

All the times hoping that you would text during my busy times, all the times thinking you would reply. One month. Just one more month, and im saying bye for good.

29 May 2018

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Same

First you want to talk. Then you want to ignore. You just being you, the same old. I couldn’t care less about this anymore, because im going outfield. Learning from Erwin this time around: One day at a time.

Zheng Wei. Just stop.

21 May 2018

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Hint

When someone takes long to reply, it is a huge hint that he is not interested right? But we cant help ourselves for giving him the benefit of doubt that he might be busy somehow. The last straw was when he took more than a day to reply. That was when I knew, I shouldnt waste any more time.

It issnt as easy as said than done. Knowing that you like him, grants him all the immunity and pardon for all the late replies. Right now there is one song that correct describes all of this:

Louis Tomlinson - Back to you

20 May 2018

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Time off

What a great week. Even though it is back to army life, but catching up with old friends and brothers is definitely worth it. So much reminiscences.... so much memories. All the shit that happened and did in the past. All the laughter, all the sadness.

It is sad to know that age is catching up on all of us, and we are definitely way past our prime. These memories that we hold just makes me want to cherish the present, because we can never ever get back time that is gone.

Fun times.

18 May 2018

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Drama

Drama. So much drama. Getting out last night was definitely a bad idea. Why must people do stupid things when they are on an alcohol impulse. Why must I do stupid things when I am on an alcohol impulse. Life choices.

And now, they are back together. So what was last night all about? All for what? Unnecessary drama. Give me a break.

13 May 2018

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Fake

Saw them. One came to talk to me as if nothing happened. Not sure if he is being friendly or fake. One things for sure, I didnt wanna stay any longer.

11 May 2018

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Peaceful Morning

Woke up, with no texts, no notification. Seems peaceful. A little too peaceful, till a point where it feels like nobody cares. But im used to it. I dont care when nobody cares.

11 May 2018

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Sanity sanctum

This seems like a good place to be in. Nobody to judge me, nobody to love me, nobody to hate me. Just me being me. If only the world is as simple as that.

Perhaps I would visit this place more often in future. No disturbance. Just peace.

10 May 2018

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Pathetic

How pathetic can you be, when you are so upset until the verge of crying, but dont have right person to share your pain with.

Thanks for the dinner Eugene. It made me see myself much clearer this time. Theres no denying anymore. I am lonely. All this while I have been trying to pretend to be happy and fun, but deep down, i feel pathetic. Feeling pathetic is probably the only reason to cry. I cant help it. Because the deeper i evaluate myself, the more I think that i am really pathetic.

Being too concerned with how people think of me, is destroying me. Just like how people used to say that it just takes one mistake to destroy all the good impression. It is too tiring to maintain a good impression. I wish I could just let loose and not give a fuck, but I know thats not me. I want to be better. I want to improve. But it is so tiring. Im tired. I feel tired and pathetic. I want to give up. Im not ready for any of this. Im not ready to be fake, just to please everyone....

Im slowly losing myself in my own mind. And how i tearfully wish someone would give me a hand and a hug right now.

10 May 2018