dxnse-macabre

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this account is a year old, guys... thats CRAZY

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to update yall i just flew back from hanging out with my boyfriend and !! it was vvv relaxing but now i must attend to the millions of things i need to prep for *cough cough FUCK IM STARTING SCHOOL AGAIN cough cough* BUT ill try to get some responses done here and there

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Another Rococostarion ✨ Idk whose 💀 that is. See the post on Twitter here 💕

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i know people will not agree with me and most likely hate on this take but

can we normalize liking ascended astarion?

like... i get it that ascended astarion is the WORST possible path for him. i acknowledge that it is the most unhealthiest option because it is just continuing the cycle of abuse. but i genuinely love that path because i love my power hungry characters. i love my characters that aren't morally good, that will do anything just to further their own agenda. i love my selfish muses because there's something so... enticing about being so ambitious and flying so close to the sun that you become the very thing that you were afraid that would burn you and others.

call me a sadist/horrible person/whatever, but for my first complete playthrough, i played durge and i wanted to dive deep into the dynamic of, "we can make each other worse" and really loved the canon that my durge + AA would rule the world with each other by their side

like, there were moments in the AA romance where astarion believed he was more powerful, that he was the greater one in the power duo. but then there were other moments where my durge would be a force to be reckoned with, and reclaim that power as theirs. it was a constant power struggle, but i LOVED it because it gave their dynamic depth as opposed to a very one-sided abusive dynamic. like, dont get me wrong, the dynamic is VERY fucked up, but i also live for the whole "evil king/queen" vibes. lets rule the world together sweetie

idk. on my feed i see a lot of hate about how you shouldnt like AA because its the worst option for him, he deserves to heal and break the cycle (i do agree with this) but... i love the dynamics that are fueled from this shitty scenario. it isnt an ideal situation, but it was never meant to be. i dont want a happy fairy-tale ending. i want the ending to be a beginning of an era.

"lets make each other worse while destroying everyone else" is my favorite trope, idk if you guys can tell

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hey dont worry yall,,, i am still around, just lurking! ive been on vacation visiting my boyfriend, but i hope yall have been living life to the best of your abilities ❤️

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some astarion studies while i figure out a sketching style

...plus two gales because i've an addiction

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► reblog to let your mutuals know that... YOUR RP BLOG IS NOT TIME-SENSITIVE!

...That there is NO time limit or expiration date on asks, memes or threads.

...That your partners NEVER need to feel they have to apologise for not responding to a thread or ask yet.

...That you welcome replies to "OLD" threads and memes, even if they've been sitting quietly untouched for weeks or months.

...That there is NEVER any pressure or obligation for your partners to reply until they feel the drive and enthusiasm to do so.

...That YOU will happily respond to things at YOUR OWN leisure, and you would like your partners to feel comfortable doing the same.

Not everybody enjoys running their blog this way and that's a-okay. But removing the idea that RP interactions are something that can "expire" or that the asks in your inbox have an unspoken "due-date", takes the pressure off of both your partners and yourself and can help bust feelings of stress/anxiety from the hobby. Reblog to let your partners know that you're just jazzed to receive new writing from them, whenever it comes.

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20 hours of painting condensed into a minute. I'll never get enough of his stupid face.

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putting bg3 point and click voicelines together to sound like a conversation has brought me great joy, so. here's gale, karlach, shadowheart, and astarion doing a terrible job of sneaking around

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astarion is so fucking stupid he's like bleh i'm so mean i don't care about other people i'm obnoxious. and also i definitely hate kids because they're gross and get dirty and anyway we don't have TIME to save the little tiefling girl. oh fine whatever i'll help you. well yes of course i'm happy she's safe. that's different though she's a thief and extremely impulsive so we're kindred spirits i still don't like kids. well of course i like MOL. she's adorable. come on, she's like eleven years old running a little gang, that's cute as all hells. and mattis of course i like little mattis, sure his techniques could use some polish but he's got the makings of the greats, oh arabella? arabella's here? out here alone in the dark? no, it's okay, sweet girl, we'll find your parents. would you like to stay with us? oh fuck you, what are you smiling at?

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Here, have an adorable flustered elf 🖤

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@stellanimarum

HOW WOULD HE KNOW THAT THE OTHER GENUINELY CARED ? the real answer to that is saddening: he doesn't. but the words were NICE to hear, DIFFERENT than how most would be by this point.

how MOST would be by this point ... his eyes darkened for a moment.

❝ YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHAT I WANT . ❞ the words shot out of him like an arrow piercing through the air. the hostility in his voice was all too apparent, but it was FAR too late to take back the words now.

did he fuck up his only chance for protection ? his only chance of truly being INCLUDED in this ragtag band of misfits ?

he took a breath, attempting to scrounge up the broken pieces back together. ❝ i mean ... there are a lot of things i want. like ... riches, virgin babes, POWER ... but it's all fantasy at the end of the day. not to mention that it's the same WISH as everyone else, so ... it's GENERIC. not important. ❞

astarion kept his internal fingers crossed, hoping that was enough.

❝ EVERYONE wants a warm body in their bedroll. i'm no different. ❞

WAS HE ?

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@bas0rexias

❝ WHAT AN ACCUSATION ... coming from a man whose books are far dirtier than the concept of pleasure itself. ❞ THE LITTLE DIRTY BOOKWORM, as astarion would call him. he definitely peeked inside of that blue tent of his at some point -- just to see what it was like inside, honest -- while the wizard was away, and it didn't really surprise him when he saw familiar books in a pile next to the man's bedroll. familiar, because he knew them to be ESPECIALLY smutty, and may have read them before.

a little playful but mischievous smirk played on his lips as he continued his wading out of the river, grabbing his resting clothes sitting on a rock nearby. ❝ no please, help yourself ... i was finished bathing anyways. ❞

❝ BE CAREFUL getting caught up in the VIEW ... ❞

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— Michelle Williams

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— via jitterati

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{Words by Anaïs Nin, from The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4 (1944-1947) / Cynthia Cruz from diagnosis,The glimmering room}

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Mary Oliver, from “Hum Hum”, A Thousand Mornings