joel | grown-ass man | cobra kai + karate kid blog | i love mike barnes even though no one else does
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rip you old bastard
#mike barnes#daniel larusso#jessica andrews#the karate kid#cobra kai#there's not going to be a motherfucker on this earth more excited when silver drops dead than mike and daniel and jessica#daniel and mike personally paid for that headstone just so that they could write that down#they all show up dressed to the nines in their finest party fits#they take turns photographing each other at the grave#they cheer when the officiant says that silver is dead#they have the time of their fucking lives
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mike and daniel calling each other "shithead"
#cobra kai#daniel larusso#mike barnes#the karate kid part 3#the karate kid#cobra kai season 5 spoilers#ck s5#full circle moment#calling each other 'shithead' is THEIR thing#matching petnames#daniel has been waiting for YEARS to call mike that#my gif quality is piss poor but it's the thought that counts
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i love how the minute mike, chozen and johnny meet they immediately lose every single iq point they ever had and have one (1) rotting braincell ping-ponging between the three of them like a horrible, out-of-control game of pinball. each time they score points it brings their collective chaotic feral energy up 1000%.
#i want that scene injected directly into my veins#i would watch a whole show of just these three plus daniel clowning around#cobra kai#mike barnes#johnny lawrence#chozen toguchi#ck s5#cobra kai season 5 spoilers#they are skilled and normal individually#dumb idiotic lunatics together
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johnny posted this
#that's it#that's the post#cobra kai#the karate kid#johnny lawrence#when i saw this poster my first thought was 'this is johnny'#'he would fucking do this'#original poster is from obviousplant
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i can't believe that mike barnes, tournament terror, karate's bad boy, meathead supreme, saw daniel larusso do a fucking kata during the last few seconds of the all-valley tournament and his mind went *aol dial-up sound*
#kk3 is a fucking wild ride#what even IS this movie?#mike barnes#daniel larusso#the karate kid#the karate kid 3#HE LITERALLY STOPPED; LIKE HE HAD NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE#JUST HIT THE MAN; HE'S DOING NONSENSE#honestly though? iconic; our no braincell; shoot first ask questions later king#alternate versions: his brain also went 'error 404: file not found'#as well as *windows xp error sound*#the karate kid part iii#the karate kid part 3
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if daniel had a nickel for every time a karate rival of his was shirtless in front of him, he would have ten cents. it's not a lot, but it's really weird that it happened twice.
#chozen was LOOKING for an opportunity to flex his muscles#johnny's just a blond hunk; it's part of the job description#barnes though? never fucking took it off. my man's wore LAYERS. like it's california; why are you wearing a shirt AND a jacket?#like; why do you need so many layers? are you self-conscious? why do you wear a tank top UNDERNEATH your silk shirt? that's not necessary?#do you need the layers to contain your rage? do the layers protect your fragile masculinity?#i want pics of shirtless karate rivals#why did mr. miyagi never take his shirt off? i bet you the man's secretly yolked#obviously this is the doofenshmirtz meme#daniel larusso#chozen toguchi#mike barnes#johnny lawrence#the karate kid#do you also know who we haven't seen shirtless who we should? john fucking kreese#for a senior citizen; he's insanely yolked#i'd let him choke me in a parking lot after i won second place in the all-valley tournament#after i failed to impress who i considered to be my father figure#that's my kink
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the real hero of the karate kid is the guy who shouted “hey johnny, you're a creampuff!” from the stands at the tournament, thereby solidifying how much of a fucking fruit johnny was, and how badly he was hiding it
#the karate kid#johnny lawrence#cobra kai#johnny even LOOKS like a creampuff#i was gonna continue on that train of thought and then i realized where it was going and i had to emergency brake it because we were going#to fucking CRASH#creampuff (derogatory)
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they just don’t make villains like terry silver anymore :(
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every time kreese opens his dumb fucking mouth
me:
#if i have to hear about the war one more goddamn time from this show i'm gonna mcfreakin lose it#john kreese#cobra kai#the karate kid#my man's had one (1) thing happen to him 40 years ago and he never shuts up about it#i guess that's the cinematic parallel between johnny and kreese#johnny is obsessed with daniel and kreese is obsessed with The War#but i guess it's the trauma and whatnot#it's like....i just Don't Care#we didn't need this#life was better and my crops were fine when kreese was just an abusive dickwad asshole#we didn't need a backstory that explained why kreese is like this#kreese is like a senior citizen closing on his deathbed; there's no chance for change or whatever#the backstory did nothing and meant nothing#kreese is a fucking Dick#end of story
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has this been done before?
#proof that guns really do solve problems#karate kid au where everything is the same except daniel owns a glock#daniel goes up to mr. miyagi and complains he's being bullied again#and mr. miyagi looks at him and says daniel-san; sometimes problem cannot be solved by peace and honor#and mr. miyagi just hands daniel a glock#war does that to a man#daniel larusso#the karate kid#cobra kai#cobra kai would have never happened if daniel owned a glock; just saying#you think anybody would mess with the only motherfucker in california who owns a gun?#hell no
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i love how the karate kid went from relatively realistic and grounded villains who weren’t evil, just mostly angry, entitled and vindictive, to absolute fucking maniacs who laugh like supervillains and create bonkers plans that would fall apart with even the slightest misstep
#is that why they made terry a millionaire/billionaire?#is it more realistic that he's completely gone off the deep end if he's like#super rich?#hot take: the karate kid 3 proved to us that capitalism truly is the villain#the karate kid#cobra kai#johnny lawrence#john kreese#terry silver#mike barnes#chozen toguchi#sato
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there are genuinely no other adult men in the entire valley in cobra kai, huh? it’s just fucking johnny, daniel and kreese, huh.
#how did three (3) grown men manage to drag several kids into their karate rivalry#where are the parents#where are the dads?#where are the moms?#how is there not a single other man in the valley#like i know men are slowly going extinct but this is getting ridiculous#better adult male representation on cobra kai#literally if there was anyone else i'm sure miguel would have taken them as a mentor instead of bologna frying johnny lawrence#cobra kai#johnny lawrence#daniel larusso#john kreese#wait rephrase that#there are absolute no other men in the valley#not adult men#no men at all#ever since miyagi died johnny and kreese and daniel are the only sole surviving men in the valley#they have to fight for dominance to be the top male in the valley#america's next top man#this went totally off#also correction: bobby brown is also a Man in the valley#the only good man in the valley#i respect one (1) man
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johnny was 100% okay with cowardly cheating his way to a win at the 1984 all valley tournament without ever even fighting daniel but has the audacity to admonish daniel now for using an “illegal” kick to win said tournament
#johnny lawrence#daniel larusso#cobra kai#the karate kid#johnny is 100% the bad guy in the karate kid#in this house we respect shrimpy yapping chihuahua daniel larusso#johnny watched his buddy almost permanently disable daniel; used that injury to his advantage but got mad that daniel kicked him in the face#it ain't adding up sis#idk this just gets me really mad#johnny was really expecting to win the tournament and not even put in the effort#this is why you're life fell apart johnny#i KNOW someone is gonna say something about kreese forcing him but like dawg#johnny never apologized for it now#that's why i'm bringing it up#he's mad about an illegal kick but was willing to cheat to win#fucking pot calling the kettle black
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i think it’s just funnier if johnny doesn’t know a single thing that happened after 1984. literally captain america. cold war? still going on. challenger disaster? never happened. 9/11? never heard of it. who’s the current president? ronald fucking reagan. johnny just lives in an innocent, carefree world where aids is still ravaging the country, mccarthyism is alive and kicking and johnny is just really excited to listen to ‘love at first sting’ by the scorpions
#johnny lawrence#cobra kai#the karate kid#just...i can't figure out in cobra kai what johnny knows and doesn't know#it's never consistent#the man really is no thoughts head empty all the time#at least if johnny didn't know anything past 1984 it would be easy to keep track of#it's just really funny to me to have johnny not know the cold war ended#he's talking about the ussr and everyone's like ussr? you mean russia?#and johnny's like no i'm talking about the ussr#and everyone's like the ussr isn't a thing anymore#and johnny's like when did that happen? how is it not a thing?#and someone's like yo the cold war ended#and that fucking BLOWS johnny's mind#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE COLD WAR ENDED????#WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?#like it happened 30+ years ago sensei
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daniel to all of his rivals:
#cobra kai#the karate kid#johnny lawrence#daniel larusso#chozen toguchi#mike barnes#john kreese#terry silver#honestly if daniel had said this to johnny it would have ko'ed johnny so hard he would have never shown his face at school or the dojo again
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the most unrealistic part of cobra kai is the fact that johnny, who for several decades has subsisted on a diet of nothing but coors banquets, cafeteria meat and whatever you can get at a sketchy 7/11 and hasn’t exercised at all, is still somehow totally fit, flexible and hasn’t had a cardiac arrest
#like johnny#you're not a teenager training karate daily anymore#you're a 50+ year old man with failing knees#start taking your health seriously#i understand the concept of muscle memory but cobra kai is REALLY pushing it#johnny lawrence#cobra kai#the karate kid
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buddy, uh....hate to break it to you, but if johnny not hitting ali is respect towards women, then the bar is on the fucking floor. you do know that in that same scene johnny was harassing ali and tried to break her radio? he also forcefully kissed her without her permission when they were at the country club. like, i get it, lots of us like johnny, but stop trying to attribute traits to him that are just not true.
I don’t care what you say about Johnny having no respect
That beach scene in the original The Karate Kid, where Johnny is pissed and Ali’s like, well why don’t you just hit me?
And he still doesn’t
And leaves
If that’s not respect, especially towards women then what is?
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