dysphoria-sucks

[dysphoria-sucks]

Me after sending my friends a long stream of texts: Hmm wonder how their gonna respond

[2 minutes pass without them responding]

Me: They hate me! god i hate me too oh im being so annoying and clingy DELETE ALL THE TEXTS NOW STOP BEING CLINGY AND ANNOYING YOU STUPID

[dysphoria-sucks]

you just described how i am with my siblings

do you ever FEEL yourself being annoying but you CAN’T stop

[dysphoria-sucks]

Hey! Are you a young trans (or just someone who wears a binder) who is still in school, is hiding a binder from their parents and doesn’t know how they’re going to wash it? Cause you’ve come to the right place!! (This is also just a tutorial on how I wash my binder).

Step 1: Be prepared.

It will be helpful if you go to a school where you carry a bag around. You need to prepare that morning. Make sure you have nothing going on that day after school. You’re going to need:

Your binder

A plastic bag (preferably two)

Washing detergent (either buy some before/after school, steal from your laundry or use hand soap like I did)

A sink (with water)

A normal bra

A clothes hanger

A school bag

And a towel.

You’re going to need to take a few of these to school with you (binder, bags, soap, bra, towel). And make sure you do this the moment you get home so your parents aren’t suspicious of why you are taking your school bag into your bathroom.

(I personally forgot this step and almost had to explain what I was doing).

Step 2: Washing time

Ok, take off your binder, and put on a bra (if you want to that is)

Pour warm water into your sink.

And soak your binder in it.

Pull it out and put some soap on it (I use A LOT)

And then rub it in and put the binder back into your sink.

Drain your sink and fill with cold water. Put binder in again and soak it.

Drain the sink and run your binder under cold water to get off the extra soap.

Get any extra water out by squeezing it and put it in the plastic bag/s.

Put it in your school bag (along with anything else) and sneak into your room.

Step 3: Drying it.

Pull out your binder and hang it up in your closet with a hanger.

I like to put a towel underneath to catch all the drips. And to prevent my carpet from being ruined.

Your binder will (hopefully) dry overnight.

I know a lot of people are in different conditions when it comes to family, resources etc. so this might not work for everyone. This is simply what works for me. If you need help/advice, you can always ask me.

And since this has gotten so many notes (thank you for that), I’ve posted a part 2

[dysphoria-sucks]

Hahahaha that moment you spend too long looking at yourself in the mirror and then you turn to the side and realize you still have chesticles and become sad. and then on top of that you just stsrted your period and is not havin a fun tim rn

[dysphoria-sucks]

Ok so i recently came out to my mother...she didnt take it badlu but she didnt take it all too good either. She’s the kind of person who doesn’t like to read or even research something unless it benefits her. She cares about me veing non-binary but im fairly sure she doesnt care about my pronouns or my name.

I mean she sure as hell didnt care about my sexuality when i explained what i could and she didnt even csre to look up or research it and asked a gay friend of hers or something. Im pretty sure bo gay person would be friends with her like ever but whatever.

But yeah, I also tried to explain dysphoria without saying the word dysphoria cause she wouldnt care about it. Because i love myself, i do, but at the same time i would rather my moral body evaporate and i can be stardust rather than in this disgusting body with chesticles. But i cant explain it to her the feeling. Because being non-binary is different for everyone. For me its being as masculine as physically possible to try and subect out that feminine part until i get on t and chest surgery when i can freely dress without worry and wont worry about it.

But she already said that doing surgies like that is ‘hurting yourself’ and im just roling my eyes because i feel like id rather fukin die than like in a body i hate more than i need to but whatever.

And the thing is talking about it and thinking about it is stsrting to make me feel worse. Cause usually its a manageable feeling but when i took a shower i had to turn off the lights close my eyes or something but lemme tell you talking about how i have a female body does not fukin help me. And now i also have hair that is considered masculine and now its also not feeling fun but i hate shaving cause its stupid and i also dont like shaving because it feels like im conforming into female stereotypes even tho im jot a female and its very confusing and upset and i really want to be stardust rn cause shes making me focus on a lot of stuff i am starting to not like that is completely fine and doesnt matter because she is uncomfy i have hair on my legs and under my arms even tho guys have that same shit (tho i must admit when i saw a guy and another non-binary person with under arm hair i was shocked because ive never seen that shit before and i have literally all sisters, so i can positivity say i was astonished because it was just so natural for me to see people with it shaved)