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2023

invitation, mary oliver // the unabridged journals, sylvia plath // happy xmas, john lennon // north country, mary oliver // i am running into a new year, lucille clifton // salt, nayyirah waheed // diaries of franz kafka // bird by bird, anne lamott // sunrise, louise glück

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✩ scenery and sentiment: mondstadt edition ✩

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mom can you come get me things are getting bad again and i feel every insult like a sharp tooth and i feel my dreams rotting under my fingernails and i feel too much all the time or else i feel nothing at all and it doesn’t seem to matter if i drink and dance and party or if i stay at home curled up to study

mom are you sure when i was born i was a person and not just a vortex. always hungry. always swallowing. no matter how much goes in me i always end up empty.

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nice things will happen but first you have to lose all hope and die 45 times

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Guess who ships BokuAka from here to the end of the world.

Few days ago I read this Haikyuu!! coffeeshop AU fanfic - tea-stained polaroids by dalyeau and it was so sweet that I couldn’t help myself. It made my day bright and sunny and, believe me, it was a veryveryvery bad day before.

You can’t stop me from drawing cute mwahahahahahaha

Oh, and Akaashi is actually a master of Photoshop and the bestest in his photography class so he managed to unblur that one photo (▰˘◡˘▰)

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The moon is all kinds of pretty tonight.

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i dont know how im supposed to interpret the fact that when pandora opened the box all of the monsters were released unto humanity except for hope, which stayed behind, but every time i think about it i go crazy

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18th December, 9:07 PM.

Mumbai Suburban.

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31st October 2020 | 1:01 PM

Can’t wait to get started!

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18th October 2020 | 5:56 am

Major life change: I was a Calibri person when I started with my assignment. It accidentally changed to Georgia and there is no going back now.

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One real benefit of reading I rarely hear anybody mention is how much more interesting life becomes when you read a lot. It depends what you’re reading, of course, but most (good) books will teach you something you didn’t already know, and even if you have to give the book back to the library, you get to take that much with you. A lot of people talk about things they wish they’d studied in school–I’ve done it, too–but it’s a nice consolation prize that you can always pick up a book and learn something new. And as that library in your brain collects more volumes, everything around you gains new resonances, new context, and new connections which make your lived experience richer. In quarantine alone I’ve read about religion and politics and history and evolution and computer science and astrophysics without even leaving my house and it’s already a more interesting world. 

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where do I find the words to let you know how I feel when Eros starts playing

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Lazy Sunday in which I can’t seem to focus on anything

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How to remain productive with online classes:

A few tips from a broke neuro-divergent academic

Try and wake up early, and go to bed early too. I’m not saying get up at 5 (unless that’s you’re thing) but sleeping into noon is a productivity blackhole. I go for 8 or 8:30, generally, but that’s just what works for me.

Get dressed for the day. I’m not talking like, jeans and a business casual outfit, but a clean pair of sweatpants, fresh underwear, and a new shirt can really put you in the mood for a new morning.

Have a workspace. Whether it be the kitchen table, a desk, a spot on the floor with a lap desk, have a place that’s dedicated to your work. Have items that signify that workspace too, like your book, planner, laptop, lamp, whatever. It can help you get into the zone, being in that space.

Have a morning drink. I choose earl grey tea with honey and cream, but black coffee, herbal tea, lemon water, whatever works for you is awesome, as long as itll wake you up and start your day.

To do lists. To do lists and to do lists and more to do lists. I have three. One is a post it weekly planner deal (3.99 at a local grocery store). it’s a weekly spread already set up, and if you’re anything like me, its really hard to set up a weekly spread. Then I have an app called Ike. I have a daily to do list I write on that app, and then I have four more to-do lists of what I have to for each specific class.

Spread out your assignments. Don’t overwhelm yourself. If you’re professors are like mine, and have the due date for each module as Sunday at midnight. What I do is spread out all my assignments from Monday to Saturday, and I leave Sunday blank, so anything I didn’t do that week, I finish on Sunday. It works for me, it might work for you.

Have a folder for each class, and a notebook for each class. I hate spending money, I’m broke as hell, sono al verde as the Italians say, but a 0.99 cent folder and a 0.25 cent notebook can do wonders for motivating one to fill them up.

Study with a drink. Tea, water, coffee, whatever, but my go to is generally a warm drink. I cannot study if I’m cold, I get tired and groggy, so warm socks, a robe, and a hot drink really keep me going.

Take breaks. Make time for your hobbies, for something fun. Working without stopping absolutely destroys my motivation, and let me tell you, when I feel like that, an episode of Avatar and a snack gets me right back on the wagon.

Do self check ins. Does your back hurt? Are you sad? Stressed? Do you have to pee? Are you hungry? Never put your homework over your health. You won’t be able to get anything done well anyway if you’ve got those blocks.

Most importantly, get enough sleep. I beg of you. Sleep is so important, and it’s the game changer, at least to me. We as students have such an amazing opportunity to get more sleep than we ever have before during the year. Take advantage of that.

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The secret about self esteem

You don’t actually have to love yourself to be happy, healthy, and stable. Here are some beliefs that you can work towards instead

- no one deserves bad treatment, including you - You deserve to be treated with self kindness & to meet you own physical and emotional needs - Physical appearance isn’t the most important thing, and even if you’re unattractive you deserve to be able to live your life without shame - that no one is expected to be perfect at everything they try, and that it’s ok to enjoy things you aren’t good at - It’s more interesting and fun to focus your thoughts outward on the world and other people than to think about how much you like or dislike yourself - That everyone makes mistakes and does embarrassing things, and that an embarrassing event might feel really terrible but it’s not actually a threat - It’s not worth obsessing over whether you are a good or bad person, bc those things don’t really exist. (There are only good & bad actions; humans are way too complex & ever changing to fit into black & white labels) - Your thoughts and emotions are as valid & team as anyone else’s

Basically, the goal with all of this is to accept that you can treat yourself with self compassion. It is going to be near impossible to be happy if you constantly tear yourself down, or if you don’t respect needs, but it’s definitely possible to be happy feeling pretty meh about it.

I recommend focusing on things you believe are true for all people, then working back to yourself (for example, that everyone deserves to be treated kindly, that physical appearance isn’t shameful, that everyone makes mistakes, etc). Make self kindness the goal. When you are being mean to yourself, remind yourself to be kinder. If you feel horrible about a mistake remember you are only human. And the rest of the time? Pour your energy into creating meaningful activities in your life. Make art, chase goals, call friends, read books, learn, create, engage. You will find the works is much bigger and brighter when you make room for something besides self criticism.

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Mumbai Suburban

8th September | 7:02 PM.

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You are. Epilogue 03

Just keeping that story going!

#pascalcampion