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[dzcay]

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[dzcay]

You light a fire early in your girlhood. You stoke it and tend it. You protect it at all costs. You don’t let it rage into a mountain of light, because that’s not becoming of a girl. You keep it secret. You let it burn. You look into the eyes of other girls and see their fires flickering there, offer conspiratorial nods, never speak aloud of a near-unbearable heat, a growing conflagration.

You tend the flame because if you don’t you’re stuck, in the cold, on your own, doomed to seasonal layers, doomed to practicality, doomed to this is just the way things are, doomed to settling and understanding and reasoning and agreeing and seeing it another way and seeing it his way and seeing it from all the other ways but your own.

Nightbitch, Rachel Yoder

[dzcay]

At first she did nothing, waiting for her husband to wake, which he did not, because that wasn’t a thing he ever did.

Nightbitch, Rachel Yoder

[dzcay]

Happiness is encircled with pain.

The Tunnel, Ernesto Sábato (tr. Margaret Sayers Peden)

[dzcay]

Why weren’t we alone! I would have thrown myself at her feet and asked her to forgive me and to cleanse me of the disgust and contempt I felt for myself!

The Tunnel, Ernesto Sábato (tr. Margaret Sayers Peden)

[dzcay]

‘I don’t care what you do to me. If I couldn’t love you, I would die. Every second I spend without seeing you is torture.’

The Tunnel, Ernesto Sábato (tr. Margaret Sayers Peden)

[dzcay]

how could we be other than intimate when we had known each other for a thousand years, for all time?

The Tunnel, Ernesto Sábato (tr. Margaret Sayers Peden)

[dzcay]

2023

[dzcay]

2024

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Sáenz

The Tunnel, Ernesto Sábato (tr. Margaret Sayers Peden)

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life, Mark Manson

Frankenstein, Mary Shelley

The Book of Endings, Leslie Harrison

The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin

Fairy Tales, Robert Walser (translated by James Reidel and Daniele Pantano)

Half-light: Collected Poems 1965–2016, Frank Bidart

Reclaim Your Heart, Yasmin Mogahed

Sing To It, Amy Hempel

[dzcay]

I knew he was trying to organize himself. Like a messy room that needed to be cleaned up. I left him alone for a while. But then, I decided I wanted to be with him. I decided that maybe we left each other alone too much. Leaving each other alone was killing us.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Sáenz

[dzcay]

He held me and didn’t say a word.

Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere. The clearest summer morning could end in a downpour. Could end in lightning and thunder.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Sáenz

[dzcay]

Like he knew we would never play that game again. We were too old now. We’d lost something and we both knew it.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Sáenz

[dzcay]

“Yeah, it is. The funny thing is, I sometimes think my mother loves my father more than he loves her. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Maybe. Is love a contest?”

“What does that mean?”

“Maybe everyone loves differently. Maybe that’s all that matters.”

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Sáenz

[dzcay]

It was as if my eyes were a camera and I was photographing the moment, knowing that I would keep that photograph forever.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Sáenz

[dzcay]

But love was always something heavy for me. Something I had to carry.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Sáenz

[dzcay]

I believe that today we’re facing a psychological epidemic, one in which people no longer realize it’s okay for things to suck sometimes. (...)

Because when we believe that it’s not okay for things to suck sometimes, then we unconsciously start blaming ourselves. We start to feel as though something is inherently wrong with us, which drives us to all sorts of overcompensation (...)

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life, Mark Manson

[dzcay]

Because when you give too many fucks—when you give a fuck about everyone and everything—you will feel that you’re perpetually entitled to be comfortable and happy at all times, that everything is supposed to be just exactly the fucking way you want it to be. This is a sickness. And it will eat you alive. You will see every adversity as an injustice, every challenge as a failure, every inconvenience as a personal slight, every disagreement as a betrayal. You will be confined to your own petty, skull-sized hell, burning with entitlement and bluster, running circles around your very own personal Feedback Loop from Hell, in constant motion yet arriving nowhere.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life, Mark Manson