eadwulf - Tumblr blog

[eadwulf]

So far today, I have screamed at my cat, screamed at a barking dog and added that I was going to butcher its owners, smashed my bicycle and a bottle of detergent while tearing up the only bag I have to carry anything in that the latter was contained in at the time while my clothes were still at the laundromat, told my neighbour to go and fuck himself and that I was going to murder his dog and rape him with its corpse, and then walked away and repeatedly punched myself in the face for good measure. This is not an anomaly. This is exactly the kind of person that I am. I have recently decided that the idiotic fantasies I hide behind are of no benefit and that it's time to dispense with them. To that effect, it is entirely essential that I make the following very clear: I am not a good person. Think I am? Today suggests otherwise. My life suggests otherwise. I am a lazy, spiteful, potheaded, undisciplined thief who honestly can't handle his basic needs without consuming space and money from someone else. Think I value my family? When I was 21 I went to jail for threatening my mother and holding a knife against her throat. I have even in my adult years struck, yelled at, or otherwise been abusive towards my effectively helpless and very much disabled sister. I spent most of my youth honestly wishing I had the courage to murder my father. More recently I effectively abandoned my family in Alaska when they needed my help after months of not even putting in the bare minimum of effort because I was too busy drinking and smoking myself stupid until I passed out every night all to “cope” with the “stress” of a job that any idiot with an average level of motivation could do.

Think I'm intelligent? It's already been established that in spite of my arrogance I can't write even though wasting years of my life developing that supposed skill. I struggle with basic math and sentence structure on a daily basis, my reading comprehension is terrible, I cheated constantly in public school, and my four-year degree is nothing more than the result of routinely copy-pasting wikipedia and sparknotes, if not flagrantly plagiarising essays and books. I can't even win a battle of wits with a literal 10 year old. Think I'm honest? I lie constantly. I have stolen on far more occasions than I can remember. When I was 11 years old I broke into a neighbour’s house. I repeatedly construct narratives and stories that never happened in my life so I can look better in conversation when in reality all I ever do is nothing while sitting on my ass in front of a screen. Been doing that since I was a small child. What few jobs I've bothered to obtain that weren't just a product of nepotism involved lying about effectively all of my qualifications and summarily taking advantage of employers who don't know any better. Think I'm responsible? Everything I've just said so far along with my life in general proves otherwise. I am lazy, shiftless, and can't even be bothered to try looking for work or going back to school. Absolutely none of the behaviours I've described herein have any god damned fucking excuse. I don't even TRY to better myself. I can't even bother to do dishes regularly or just take care of my own hygiene properly.

Think I'm good with animals? When I was 10 I stuffed a bunch of live ducks I was supposed to be caring for into a 5-gallon bucket for no particular reason and wandered off. They all died. I've been lying my ass off about it ever since. On other occasions I've hurt or harassed animals, including my own pets, and have been wholly indifferent to any of them dying, meat animals or not. I am a monster. Any of the alleged “challenges” I face in life or my mental illnesses, etc. are absolutely not an excuse. If I have a problem, all that is of issue is bothering to have enough self-respect to handle it, and without making it other people's problem. Instead, however, I just ignore even my most basic responsibilities as a human being, content to be a self-destructive, manipulative leech that occasionally moans to himself in silence about how much his life sucks. Boo hoo. Filthy people deserve filthy lives. This is not a cry for attention, pity, or help. Any responses or discussion of this matter will be immediately deleted/ignored. I just want to make it absolutely clear to the world that I am exactly the kind of person who does not deserve to benefit from society in any way. I do not deserve “help” from anyone if I am too much of an evil person to bother to try changing myself from the absolute bastard that I have been ever since the day I was born.

[eadwulf]

“Tell me something, do you know why we do this, as marijuana growers? All the new markets, the expansion, the new businesses? Since it's legal now, do you know why we do what we do?”

“Probably because it never should have been illegal, we have a product that people want, and because it's safer for people to buy it this way?”

“No. We do it for the money. You see, weed is no longer about counter-culture, home growing, individuality, rebellion, or the sacred spaces that stoner culture created in and for itself. It's legal simply because the jackbooted cocksuckers we call the government oh so graciously deigned to allow it to be a nice, shiny new enterprise that they could wrap their slimy tentacles all over and get their big fat fucking cut. Now we have to play by their rules, the rules of industries that make the rich richer and keep the powerful in power. Mark my words, in ten to fifteen years time, we'll all be growing this shit in a lab on a wage doled out by a giant, soulless megacorporation selling it entirely in pill form, with lawyers, lobbyists, ad campaigns, and pharmaceutical reps, the works. Welcome to capitalism motherfucker. As long as we exist in its world, every last one of us will only be allowed to survive as a cheap whore splattered in rancid semen. Now let's go ahead, punch in to the clock, and work until we die like everyone else.”

“You are such a cynical asshole.”

“That's because I'm sick and god damned tired of being right all the time.”

[eadwulf]

The House of Commons is currently debating a bill on the legalisation and regulation of cannabis in the UK. http://services.parliament.uk/bills/2015-16/cannabislegalisationandregulation.html

[eadwulf]

I see mountains of self-published garbage that is sub-par even by the standards of fanfiction on sale on amazon and other bookstores, with reviews, and I still can’t find a mother fucking literary agent to even look at manuscripts that have years of effort behind them.

[eadwulf]

The publishing industry is an unholy bitch from hell that exists purely to rape the soul out of anyone trying to be an author through their eyesockets in a torrent of blood.  This is not an industry that gives a flying fuck up the cunt about quality (as evidenced by that slobbering cow who wrote Fifty Shades of Rape with less literacy than your average 11 year old and is now a fucking multimillionaire).  This is an industry that consists entirely of a bunch of companies worth billions shitting out endless volumes of garbage with a few gems occasionally rising to the top while a bunch of clueless fuckwits buy every last bit of whatever the schlock of the year is simply because it has corporate marketing behind it. Want a piece of the motherfucking action?  You'd better be a world champion at fellating the flaccid boil-ridden cock of a bunch of corporate airheads until your stomach distends.  Even then you're just gambling for the chance of a company deciding that they give enough of a shit about the fact that you wrote something that they will give you permission to watch them make a killing on it while tossing enough pennies at you to where you can buy an extra meal every eight months because whatever the flying god damn fuck an author writes isn't considered to be worth as much as the slices of dead tree that it gets pasted to. If you're actually looking to get published and you're not a drooling slab of dumbfuckery that somehow manages to relate to whiny teenagers and/or angry middle aged white men, abandon all motherfucking hope.  The only way you have a pissing shot in the dark is if you lie, cheat, backstab, hell, murder your way to getting your foot in the door.  This entire corporate construct is just a finer point of a market created by humanity, an idiotic species of sociopathic shit-flinging naked apes that'd probably rip apart their own children and eat them in broad daylight for loose change if they thought they'd get away with it.  Your creativity doesn't matter, and people will think you're a worthless piece of shit for existing and not being automatically rich and successful.  But fuck it, go ahead and try to claw your way up out of the boiling pus and gasp for air for all of a few seconds.  Maybe you'll get lucky and become king of the rats right before you get your feet gnawed off.

[eadwulf]

Shall I just point out how much it sucks as an insult to begin with?  "Social justice warrior" sounds awesome if you don't bloody know what it means.  It sounds like a Klingon paladin.

the term “SJW” doesn’t even hold weight anymore because it is literally something people call every minority that they come across that does something they dislike. 

they don’t even need to seem angry either, you can just go like “my pronouns are they/them” and you are suddenly a social justice warrior.