easternguardian-blog - Tumblr blog

[easternguardian-blog]

Assorted Game Grumps starters part 3

❝How am I supposed to walk around with a taut sphincter now for the next twenty five hours.❞ ❝I’ve learned the importance of being cuddled.❞ ❝Put a stamp on my forehead. Shits getting real!❞ ❝Baths are amazing, especially when you bring a friend.❞ ❝Here’s a ring pop, baby. It’s you favorite flavor: divorce!❞ ❝Jesus, you gotta wine and dine me first. You can’t just open up with that shit.❞ ❝What, you wanna try diplomacy? He’s a fucking crab!❞ ❝‘Bonfire’ is made up of two words: ‘bonf’ and ‘ire.’❞ ❝Is this whole game a Christian allegory for redemption?❞ ❝God, no one get’s tail like jugglers, man.❞ ❝These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed.’❞ ❝Hold on to your tits, everyone. This is happening.❞ ❝_______, as I was about to say, revenge is a dish best served fuck you.❞ ❝Oh man you little tumble weed fuck get back here.❞ ❝When someone says ‘just fuck me up’ on the internet that means have sex with me in a rough, passionate manner, correct?❞ ❝This feels so slippery. This is like sliding a wet sandwich down a hill with your tongue.❞ ❝I love you. I love your fucking brain.❞ ❝Yeah, you can feel me. Any fuckin’ time you want, dude. I am right here next to you. Just waiting.❞ ❝Young man, there’s no need to feel sass. I said young man, stick your hand in my ass.❞ ❝His parents aren’t home and he’s invited me over! I can’t wait to get fucked!❞ ❝Water is just… air juice.❞ ❝Any self-respecting baby would be in awe of my parenting skills right now.❞ ❝I moved to Madagascar… where my best friend was a SLOTH!❞ ❝Holy shitfuck, great balls of fire.❞ ❝I have to take off my jacket because I’m getting hot because this sucks so bad.❞ ❝Who wears pants anymore? So 2015.❞ ❝I’m in a totally different spot now. Like a spot I wasn’t before.❞ ❝I hate playing games with you.❞ ❝Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’❞ ❝As long as I live, I will never stop loving your random bursts of outrage.❞ ❝Um, did you see how strong his bullet was?❞ ❝I love watching you guys suffer.❞ ❝Be honest and faithful to your loved ones. And second to that…be fucking radical as shit.❞ ❝I’m gonna touch somebody’s butt, and I don’t know who it’s gonna be.❞

[easternguardian-blog]

“You haven’t slept for days, have you?”

It seemed that the lack of sleep was evident in his features if she could tell just by looking at him. "I'm afraid you are correct. I have not been able to sleep as of late," Junjie frowned, his gaze dropping down to the floor. "I have been plagued with nightmares for some time and it is now to a point where I no longer wish to sleep," he informed her.

[easternguardian-blog]

“You took that hit pretty hard…”

Junjie looked up at the blue haired girl as his vision swam back into focus. He could feel pain radiate from the spot on his side where he had been hit. "I think I will be alright," he reassured her before sitting up and trying to recall what had happened. Something, or someone, had slammed into him hard enough to knock him off his mecha beast. "Although I'm not entirely sure what hit me," he admitted, looking to her for a possible answer.

[easternguardian-blog]

Send me an emoji for an AU thread

☕️~ Coffee shop AU 🔬~ Forced Chemistry partners AU 🏠~ Roommates AU 🐾~ Dog walker AU 🍸~ Bartender AU 🍩~ Bakery AU 🗂~ Coworkers in an office AU

[easternguardian-blog]

PRONTO

[easternguardian-blog]

Tears of a fallen warrior… Drawn by: @easternguardian​ colored by me

[easternguardian-blog]

“Leave me alone!”

“I will not. Not until you tell me what is going on with you. You have been acting strange for the past few days. It’s not like you,” Junjie frowned, the concern for his friend evident in his eyes and on his features. He didn’t want to pry, but something was going on with Eli and he needed to find out what.

[easternguardian-blog]

[easternguardian-blog]

we all know slugs would chase laser pointers.

[easternguardian-blog]

[easternguardian-blog]

You okay there, Burpy?

[easternguardian-blog]

I really needed some Junjie and his Slug Fu, so here we go. 

[easternguardian-blog]

This amused me. 

[easternguardian-blog]

“I’ll bet you a dollar.”

“I suppose we can make a wager on it, though I’m not sure what a dollar is. Is that a type of currency where you are from?”

[easternguardian-blog]

I touched it

Send me "I touched it" for my muses reaction to your muse touching their butt

“Can I help you?” Junjie asked, giving the woman a curious look. He was keeping himself composed, though he felt his cheeks heating up slightly from her touch.

[easternguardian-blog]

“If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you?”

“If karma were to come back to me, I don’t believe it would be for the better. Although I have tried to right the wrongs I have done in my past, too much damage has been done...”

[easternguardian-blog]

“I’m going to kill you.” -Ghoul!Eli ;)

A look of shock quickly crossed Junjie’s face when he saw his friend was once again under the control of the Goon. Although he had not witnessed it the first time, it was a terrifying sight to behold. There was no longer the lighthearted look he usually wore on his face or the curious glint in his eyes. Instead, his features were dark and cold, red eyes filled with blood-lust. And upon the boy’s shoulder sat the ghoul’d slug responsible for Eli’s current state.

“You!” Junjie’s eyes narrowed at the Goon as he raised his arm and pointed his wrist blaster at the creature. “You were lost to the Deep Caverns along with Blakk and Eli’s father. How did you escape from that place? You should have been sealed down there with them and the Dark Bane!”