eatingdisorderthoughts

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

Normal teenage nostalgia: school dances ✨ hanging out with your besties 🥰 your first crushes 🤭

My teenage nostalgia:

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

i temporary recovered for about a year. in that year i got into grad school, got engaged to the love of my life, and gained a bit of weight. although im still well within ahealthy bmi, im now the heaviest ive been since before my eating disorder developed. i was also recently diagnosed with adhd and get prescribed stimulations. sometimes i forget them, but since i discovered they block my hunger i started taking them as directed, everyday. since then i lost nearly 10 lbs in a week. i know it’s not sustainable but it feels good and im happy. i should probably slow down. the last thing i need is heart problems and a pill addiction, but it’s hard. ive been dealing with my eating disorder for almost 10 years now and im scared i won’t ever be able to recover

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

so update we’ve been living together since i posted that and also i’m super in love

hey quick update i think i fell in love but things are complicated and weird also we’re moving in together

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

hey quick update i think i fell in love but things are complicated and weird also we’re moving in together

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

4/7/2020-food log

one slice of banana bread + peanut butter

~ two cups of popped popcorn

fun sized twix

~ three cups of iced coffe + homemade vanilla almond milk

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

guess who tried to recover for a bit??? me! guess who’s relapsing??? me again!

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

i’m at that fun point in a relapse where i have no urge to eat dispite being very hungry. will i just not eat until i reach my ugw or should i reach out to friends and ask for some much needed emotional support??? the world may never know!!!

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

holy shit that sentence was a roller coaster

Somehow I managed to still lose three pounds even though I ate my weight in ben and jerry’s after burying my dad

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

is there any sane way to explain to my professor that i didn’t do my homework because my ed made me look at vegan cheese reviews all night? i thought not

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

my eating disorder really fuckin wants me to be vegan right now

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

i got called a twig today at work. the wild part is that i’m the heaviest i’ve been in months, currently 103.5 lbs at 5 foot 2 inches. the question must be asked... am i really fat then??? i think i am but everyone around me seems to think i’m not. are they being nice or am i actually skinny???

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

every once in a while i remember i have an eating disorder and i get really self conscious and that’s just the fucking worst

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

having an eating disorder is weird, not because i’m hungry a lot but because when i do eat it’s really weird food combinations

what i’m trying to say is that i just made oatmeal with coffee instead of water

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

All bitches with eating disorders know how to do is drink water, consume too much coffee, look at thinspo, binge on hot chip, and lie!

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

i just love that little secret all women share. i love that even when a man thinks he’s got a woman who worships the ground he walks on, when he thinks he has complete control, that he’s the ultimate voice of authority and that he shits gold, that woman will privately know he’s stupid. even if she never says it, she’ll know

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

i’m really tryna maintain a #aesthetic over here but how am i supposed to do that when memes like this exist

[eatingdisorderthoughts]

If you have to go through unhealthy extreme measures to maintain your body type then like maybe… your body just isn’t meant to look like that, sis