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updated list of things gold rhinedottir has done:

- gave a dragon mommy issues and an existential crisis

- made a guy out of chalk and left him by the road after telling him "get a life"

- commited high heresy and got her nation destroyed

- ate a god???

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BIG DAY FOR ANNOYING PEOPLE RAGBROS FANS WE ARE SO BACK

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NEUVILLETTE WAS STABBED???

ALBEDO'S ON TRIAL FOR MURDER???

RAGBROS FIGHTING TOGETHER???

ALICE???

RHINEDOTTIR???

FUCKING VARKA???

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING???

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Eider ducks sound as though you’ve just told them a very interesting fact or juicy gossip.

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I HATE MY JOB! ⭐️

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why does this whole scene look & sound like a YTP

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zane my beloved

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Like to STAB

Reblog to STAB AGAIN

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I bet it feels good as fuuuuck to slightly draw your sword with all the other knights in anger when a treacherous knave shows their face in the court

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Whoever wrote this, slayed so hard with all these statements, truer words have never been spoken

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“When the handle has snapped off the basket that held all your eggs…” gone girl tier monologue

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Phaidei tho?

Catching up with Star Rail since I was too busy at work to start Amphoreus on patch day with everyone else...

I really need a Phaidei fic where Phainon jokingly declares his intention to court Mydei in what just happens to be the most crowded public square in Okhema that day. (It's not really a joke, but if he pretends it is, Mydei might not kill him, right?)

Only for Mydei to seemingly take what was said seriously (as he does) and agree that fine, since the declaration was delivered formally, with due courage and in accordance with the expected customs, he'll give Phainon's proposal the fair consideration it is due: If Phainon can prove himself a worthy pursuer who meets the exceedingly high expectations for Kremnoan royal partners, then Mydei will accept his suit.

(Honestly, this was supposed to be jesting as well--if Phainon's foolish enough to cause a public spectacle just to tease Mydei, might as well let him eat his words instead. Now Savior Boy won't be able to walk his teasing back, and he'll end up embarrassing himself in front of half of Okhema, doubling down on his joke "courtship." After all, there's no way Phainon is actually serious, right, or--or that he'd ever succeed. That upstart doesn't know the first thing about Kremnoan customs, let alone romance. ...And what if he does succeed? Well... hm... that will be a problem for the future's Mydei. Oh no, he's meeting all my standards.)

tl;dr: Mydei thinks he's been challenged to gay chicken and he's not about to lose. Phainon spends the entire fic in a euphoric haze because he can't believe his thinly-veiled-as-a-jest confession scored him actual dates?! Shakespearean level miscommunications, bath hijinks, a planet's worth of second-hand embarrassment, and probably a wedding ensue.

For bonus points, I think at least half the fic should be Outsider POV, from the many innocent and extremely confused Okhemans (and fellow Chrysos Heirs) who are now stuck getting involved in the weirdest courtship in Amphorean history.

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“there is no word for romance in the kremnoan language”

“nikador once failed in love, and even got into a fight with their rival”

hoyo you are NOT being subtle

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Their asses are NOT sparring your honour

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if ur gonna be pressed into service by your liege lord, u want to be the swiftest rider. get good at horses, because they're always sending the swiftest rider off to do some other shit that is, crucially, away from the battlefield. I'm telling u. when ur forces are outnumbered and the enemy legions show up with some unexpected advantage, someone in command is gonna say, "send the swiftest rider to alert the queen!!!" that's u. u want to be that guy