ecstaticfailure

[ecstaticfailure]

Sometimes a story just has to be told in greentext format y'know

>be me

>tranny MtF

>switching to estradiol injections

>no past fear of needles

>past history of cutting

>injected mice for research loads of times

>thisllbeeasy.jpg

>draw medicine

>put on injection needle

>aboutta stab

>brain stops me

>hovering over pinched skin

>brain won't let me do it

>waiting is making it worse

>fuckfuckfuckfuck.png

>soulsborne mental illness kicks in

>hear Isshin Ashina's voice

>"Remember, Sekiro. Hesitation is defeat."

>immediately follow through with a clean and easy needle jab

>been on injections ~3mo now

>still hear his voice every time

Thank you Isshin Ashina for being a transgender ally 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[ecstaticfailure]

Have you took proper care of yourself today? Ate? Took your meds? Masturbated until you were seeing stars and drooling? Take care of yourself!!

[ecstaticfailure]

i trained you

[ecstaticfailure]

this is the kinda stuff you guys want right

[ecstaticfailure]

looking at him yapping while in my head im like please let me knot you i need to please you so bad I'll trap you if I have to😵‍💫

[ecstaticfailure]

Life is BDSM and i don’t know the safe word

[ecstaticfailure]

mountain fight

[ecstaticfailure]

wdym u don't want to hire the burnt out tranny that doesn't wanna work

[ecstaticfailure]

Another reason why forcemasc is so appealing, especially to mlm transmascs is that so much of the time in our relationships with men, they want to feminise us. It’s almost a cliche that every transmasc has had a bad relationship with a “bi” dude who discourages then from taking T and tries to make them use they/them or she/her pronouns. It’s nice to imagine a fantasy where someone wants us to actively transition, who finds the masculinity hot, who romanticises the changes on T.

And I can only hope that this has made more transmascs have higher standards and realise that there are people who do will love you and find you attractive because you are masculine and not because you’re their idea of a hot tomboy.

[ecstaticfailure]

Another reason why forcemasc is so appealing, especially to mlm transmascs is that so much of the time in our relationships with men, they want to feminise us. It’s almost a cliche that every transmasc has had a bad relationship with a “bi” dude who discourages then from taking T and tries to make them use they/them or she/her pronouns. It’s nice to imagine a fantasy where someone wants us to actively transition, who finds the masculinity hot, who romanticises the changes on T.

And I can only hope that this has made more transmascs have higher standards and realise that there are people who do will love you and find you attractive because you are masculine and not because you’re their idea of a hot tomboy.

[ecstaticfailure]

I ORDERED A KNOTTED DILDO FINALLY can't wait to stretch myself out😵‍💫

[ecstaticfailure]

Pleasing my partner turns me on so fucking much

[ecstaticfailure]

Pleasing my partner turns me on so fucking much

[ecstaticfailure]

The Dyke Project manifesto printed on the back of estradiol and testogel boxes

[ecstaticfailure]

tell me you just wanna have a look at my drippy breeding hole.. just to see how tight. but it looks so pink and wet and you just wanna feel it with your fingers and wow it’s warm you should be able to put your fingers all the way in to feel my insides… and now i’ve got you hard so you deserve to test me out, just feel me squeeze the tip but oh no you didn’t mean to thrust in so far it just felt so nice you’re sorry but your balls are so heavy and i have a lovely little hole that’s wet and ready for use

[ecstaticfailure]

Beastly Boyz (2006) // dir. David DeCoteau

[ecstaticfailure]

If you’re feeling up to it, could we get more movie recs?

Sure, here are some movies/docs that I think raise interesting questions about what it means to be a man and/or masculine.

Close-Up (1990), dir. by Abbas Kiarostami. A movie about movies about life and how we use movies to live life. (You'll understand after watching.)

Love Exposure (2008), dir. by Sion Sono. Put aside a chunk of time for this one. Great choreography. One of my favorite monologues in a movie ever.

Wings of Desire (1987), dir. by Wim Wenders. A must-see for any trans repressor who secretly loves the world and can't wait to live in it.

The Ballad of Gregorio Cortez (1982), dir. by Robert M. Young. See if you can stream the restoration. Think about what it meant for a Western movie like this to come out in the 80s.

Sweet Smell of Success (1957), dir. by Alexander Mackendrick. For Succession lovers. So beautifully scummy. Like iridescent, polluted rainwater runoff in a gutter.

The Aggressives (2005), dir. by Daniel Peddle. Very important piece of history in queer cinema and representation. Must be watched, not simply absorbed passively through Tumblr photosets.

Beyond the Aggressives: 25 Years Later (2023), dir. by Daniel Peddle. The follow-up. Haven't watched this yet, but I've heard good things. I need to find out where I can stream it.

If you're on the hunt for new recommendations and, like me, hate reading through smug Letterboxd reviews, check out Cathode Cinema. They stream great movies, with each screening's contents selected to fit a theme by one of their curators. In December 2023, Christina Acevedo collaborated with them for a 'rain' themed screening, which included movies like Damnation (1988) and The Crow (1994), if that gives a sense of the range to expect.