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Super Mario World: Freegan Run

CONTENT WARNING: political humour, "cartoon violence", overanalyzing the ethics of a children's game

Super Mario World for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System is a game that needs no introduction. With its colourful worlds, large amount of content, and simple yet memorable gameplay, it’s no wonder that this game is still fondly remembered even decades after its release. Super Mario World was one of the first Mario games that allowed you to choose what courses you wanted to play, and adjust the difficulty of your adventure (via the coloured Switch Palaces), which ensured that players of any skill level could get into the game, complete it, and have fun. This "at your own leisure" approach to gameplay means that beginner players are able to get the required assistance they need to beat difficult stages, and veteran players who want a challenge don’t have to have their hands held throughout the whole game. In conclusion, there really is no "wrong" way to play a Mario game…

But there’s no harm in trying.

So, what even is a "freegan run"?

In this blog post, I’ll be attempting to beat the main game of Super Mario World, but WITHOUT collecting coins, collecting power-ups, OR defeating any enemies. Basically, any of the things that make Mario games Mario games—save for jumping. I wanted to do a challenge run of this game for quite some time, but I feel like all of these challenges individually have probably already been done to hell and back for a game such as World, so I’ve decided to label myself as a masochist and don Dr. Frankenstein’s lab coat, and attempt to do all three at the same time. A freegan is described by the Oxford Dictionary as a "person who eats discarded food, typically collected from the refuse of shops or restaurants, for ethical or ecological reasons." I figured that the anti-consumerist and vegan aspects of freeganism (lit. free + vegan) lended themselves nicely to every single challenge I was attempting in this run. As of the time I’m writing this paragraph, I haven’t attempted any part of the run, so there’s no telling whether or not I’ll succeed. Will I safely beat every course in the game without violating any of my ethical guidelines? Will I be forced to give up on one of my principles if it means the other two are left untouched? Will there be a point where I’m forced to give into the dark embrace of capitalism and a side of beef bourguignon? Let's see just how badly I can play a Mario game.

Ground Rules

Of course, let’s start off with the obvious.

No collecting coins: In this dystopian Dinosaur Land where 100 coins can literally buy life, we are the ones who refuse to participate in this capitalist nightmare. We are the ones who ask: Why does Mario need coins anyway? Does he pay taxes? Does he have a 401(k)? Does Bowser send him a Venmo request for property damage after every castle siege? We also ask why the rich can afford literal life while the poor are stuck working minimum-wage jobs only to afford Super Mushrooms. Clearly, Dinosaur Land operates on some kind of Elon Musk-branded plutocracy nightmare where currency determines literal mortality. And yes, Mario is red. Coincidence? Probably. But let's not ignore the fact that Bowser's entire economy runs on feudal exploitation while Princess Peach sits in her gilded castle doing nothing to redistribute wealth. #EatTheRich (but not the coins, they’re non-organic).

No power-ups: The Super Mushroom, the Fire Flower, and the Super Star are the three main power-ups in Super Mario World, but notice something? All of them have eyes, and eyes suggest sentience. We have previously established that in this run, Mario should practice veganism and eat zero animal products—no matter how floral it may look, a Fire Flower with eyes probably isn’t fully flower. We could argue the same for fungi and… spheres of plasma. The Super Feather, as its name implies, is a feather, and we can only assume that all Super Feathers come from some kind of Super Bird. I could sit here all day and wonder whether these feathers had been shed naturally or not, but given the sheer abundance of them and how much of them would be required to make a cape, it’s probably not farfetched to assume there’s some kind of illegal plucking ring underground in Dinosaur Land. As for the Super Balloon… well, aside from the reduced oxygen intake, skin damage, pressure on internal organs, and potential heart failure that getting inflated would cause, eating all that rubber probably isn’t that good for you as is. Mario must face Bowser raw and unaided, like God intended.

No killing enemies: Most "enemies" in Dinosaur Land may have mean expressions, or exhibit aggressive behavior, but how many of these are Bowser's minions, and how many are natural wildlife? Let's start with the obvious: Bowser is 100% killable. Princess kidnapping aside, he imprisons Yoshi's friends in eggs (animal cruelty), runs a fascist monarchy, and has multiple castles built on what is clearly stolen land. He is, by all accounts, a war criminal. The Koopalings are his generals. They actively enforce Bowser's tyrannical rule. They chose this life, so they get the hammer. Reznor are tricky. They’re clearly Triceratops-inspired, which in Dinosaur Land suggests natural fauna, but they’re also stationed in Bowser’s forts and clearly spitting fire at our plumber protagonist. The manual claims they're "under a terrible spell," which means they're not acting of their own free will. But does that make killing them justified? Or are we just executing brainwashed dinosaurs? Either way, we have to beat them to progress, so let’s just assume they were posting "Bowser did nothing wrong" on 8chan before we got there. For the most part, if it's outside the walls of a castle or fortress, we can assume it's natural wildlife. Just because Rexes and Dino-Rhinos look menacing doesn't mean they support this wildlife trafficking ring. They're dinosaurs in Dinosaur Land. It's like getting mad at a bear because it's in a forest. Mario isn't a hero if he just stomps everything that moves. He must be judge, jury, and executioner, but only for the truly wicked. Otherwise, he's no better than Bowser.

Try to Avoid Yoshi: Of course, if he keeps showing up to Mario's numerous go-kart races and parties, he's obviously on good terms with the plumber, but Super Mario World is our first interaction with him. We could delve into the ethics of horseback riding all we want, but Yoshi, for all intents and purposes, is a wild animal, and if you get on the back of any wild animal you see, it's probably not going to like it very much. If you were trapped inside an egg, and someone freed you, would you then immediately be open to the idea of them riding you around like a pony? Now, the canonical explanation for the tongue animation is that Mario is pointing or gesturing forward… but the animation in the game doesn't lie. Mario is punching the back of Yoshi's head. Yoshi even flinches and everything. Absolutely not. The button for sticking out Yoshi's tongue is mapped to the same button as running, so even if we allowed riding the back of Yoshi, we lose our ability to run, which may not be good in a platforming game with precise jumps and numerous bottomless pits. So, what's the verdict? Do we ride Yoshi, but not command him to stick out his tongue, even if it means a bigger risk of death? Do we let him free from his egg (that, yes, Bowser trapped him in) and leave him to live his best dinosaur life? One definitely sounds a lot more ethical than the other to me.

Try to Avoid Help: Not only am I stubborn, but I feel like a run that's over in 11 stages due to me using Star Road wouldn't be fun for me to play, or for you to read. Basically, I will not be using Star Road or activating the Switch Palaces to help me or make the freegan run any easier, unless I've hit a roadblock that there is absolutely zero way around, and I HAVE to get help to proceed. Even then, I will hang my head downwards in shame. This is not meant to be easy. This is pure, unadulterated Mario. We stumble blindly into every course like every fifth grader did in 1991 while the whole world wore the ugliest patterns conceivable. Just like God intended.

This is not a walkthrough, so I will not be journaling every single course I play. I will only be acknowledging every course that gives me trouble. If you, at home, or on the train, or at that gas station by the Wendy's reading this run at any point decide that you want to try it… well, first of all, you really should find another role model. But I also acknowledge that there are vastly better Super Mario World players out there than me—who might as well be your average Joe—and you might be able to do something that I can't. With that out of the way, it's time for Mario to ditch those synthetic factory-made overalls, get his food out of dumpsters, and read every single PETA article (but only the non-hypocritical ones. So, like, two of them.) and play this game like our hunter-gatherer caveman ancestors did.

Yoshi's Island 2

It would be really funny if I got stuck on the first course of the game, wouldn't it?

The only reasons I mention this course are, firstly, because this is our first introduction to Yoshi. As previously mentioned, I'm not going to smack him, ride him around, or skin him for his hide. Making sure not to hit any other ? Blocks, (which contain dark reminders of our capitalist society) I safely set Yoshi free, and allow him to run off, settle down, and maybe get a nice berry farm up and running.

Secondly, checkpoints. Once you pass the two Midway Gates and clear the tape, Mario automatically grows in size if he's small. Now, technically, he's still abiding by freeganism and not eating any sentient mushrooms, but I decided not to count this if we're going full "no power-ups". We absolutely can just jump right over every Midway Gate we see and not have Mario grow in size, at the risk of bigger punishment if we die. But our ancestors didn't have checkpoints, so why should we?

Thirdly, the actual Goal Post. Hitting the Tape (yes, capitalized) simply gives us Bonus Stars, and 1-Ups if we hit it at the top, but simply walking through it gives us a single grave reminder of the fact that minimum-wage hasn't gone up to match prices—that is, a coin. We have to make sure to hit the Tape every single time to avoid this, but that's really not a big deal. Every enemy on screen when we hit the Tape, however, will not only die, but transform into a coin that immediately gets deposited into our savings account. If we're also carrying an item on top of that, we get awarded with a power-up. That's all three of our most important rules broken. We want to make sure to avoid this nightmare scenario at all costs.

Anyway, Yoshi's Island 2 is easy.

#1 Iggy's Castle

The rest of the courses in Yoshi's Island go down without much of a hassle. There's some careful platforming in some sections to avoid coins, but not even Iggy's Castle poses much of an issue. My only concern is the cutscene where Mario blows up the castle. Was everyone inside complicit? Were they at the wrong place at the wrong time? Well, if we can pretend the Reznor are members of QAnon, I believe we can do the same with the Koopa Troopas and Lava Bubbles that inhabit the fortress.

Donut Plains 1

The only real thing of note in this course is a baseball-throwing Chargin' Chuck at the end of the course, right by the Goal Post. As previously mentioned, going through the Tape while he's there will kill him, and turn him into profit. While made a bit tricky by a nearby Volcano Lotus, it's certainly possible to jump on his head and lure him away from the Post. Yes, unfortunately, that means adding battery to the list of Mario's crimes, but at least it's not murdering someone and profiting off of them.

Donut Plains 2

This course had me stuck for a while, as I was stuck on one section near the end of the level with an arc of coins. I tried numerous times to get past these coins, but no matter what, I just couldn't get past them as Small Mario. Every single time, I had to collect at least one coin to proceed.

However, that's when I realized that I'm stupid and bad at video games.

A Warp Pipe earlier in the course leads to another area which houses the secret exit. We're not taking the secret exit, though—instead we go through the exit pipe at the end which leads to the Goal Post, letting us beat the course as if we had gone through that arc of coins all the same, just without any allowance.

Now is a good time to briefly touch on the Bonus Games. If Mario gets 100 Bonus Stars from going through Goal Poles, he'll be forced to play a Bonus Game. In these Bonus Games, Mario has to hit boxes that cycle through three power-ups, with the aim of getting them in a tic-tac-toe line pattern to earn 1-Ups. If you get any sort of lines in these games, you have to pick up the 1-Ups to proceed. And there is infinite time. And there is no way to leave the Bonus Game if you initiated it from a course you haven't previously beat. Now, I know I don't have to ban 1-Up Mushrooms (and if you decide to attempt this challenge, I suggest not doing so,) but if I'm banning Super Mushrooms for having eyes, I might as well. Luckily, you can fail the Bonus Game and get no 1-Ups, so this shouldn't be a problem for us, just a mild inconvenience.

Donut Plains 4

The course is set up in such a way that you need to bump the Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brothers from below and get on top of their platforms to clear a bottomless pit or get to a higher place. It absolutely is possible to clear the course without killing a single one, though. The fourth Flyin' Hammer Brother can be a bit tricky to get around, as it's over a large gap right before the Goal Post, and Paragaloombas are frolicking all over. With some carefulness, Mario can build up speed and jump over the gap without hitting the Hammer Brother, or getting hit by one of its hammers. Though you will have to slow down before hitting the Goal Post, as you might go through it without hitting the Tape and get another dark reminder that the rich stay rich while the poor get poorer—that is, a coin.

#2 Morton's Castle

Morton goes down without much of a fight as well. Again, it's hard to categorize the 'enemies' in the castles, but I suppose you wouldn't see someone in, say, Area 51 unless they worked there. Not that there really were that many enemies to kill in Morton's Castle. You can jump on Dry Bones, but it'll just reassemble itself. I suppose that'd just be workplace harassment. After another morally conflicted castle demolition cutscene (I need to see Mario's demolition permit), we can move on to Vanilla Dome, assuming all of the vanilla in the dome was harvested without use of child labour and under fair trade agreements.

Vanilla Dome 1

There's a lot of sections in the level in which you have to "carve out" your way through walls of Rotating Blocks, either using Mario's spin jump (but only if he's big) or with some discarded Koopa shells lying around nearby. I don't know how these shells were obtained, but since Koopas can abandon their shells whenever they want unlike real turtles, I'm going with the interpretation that they were naturally molted (or that there's some Koopa nudist colony running around underground somewhere). I tried to progress without them, but the Buzzy Beetles kept on respawning and forcing me to either jump on them (unethical) or over them, and up onto a platform which prevented me from progressing.

Halfway through the level there's a section with a lowering sand tide that eventually descends into lava. The game expects you to hit the nearby ? Block, grab the Super Star that comes out of it, and easily run through all the Buzzy Beetles and Koopa Paratroopas that populate the tide. By building up speed, though, Mario can forgo the star and jump over every creature in his path. He is not responsible for any loitering organisms that meet a scorching demise.

As with Donut Plains 1 there is a Chargin' Chuck guarding the Goal Post. Again, if rude, you can jump on his head and lure him away to prevent him from dying and becoming a capitalist token of oppression—that is, a gold coin.

Vanilla Dome 2 and Vanilla Ghost House

Well, it was bound to happen eventually.

Obviously, I had to look up a coinless guide for these two levels. There's ways to get around that arrow of coins if you clip through the slope a little ways back, but it requires you to be big. After that, you'd also have to do a funky cape maneuver to get underneath the level and get to the secret exit in this level.

As for the Ghost House, to beat the level you have to get inside a P-door surrounded by bricks, which you can do before activating the P-Switch by collecting the coins around the unactivated door. Again, if you had a cape, you’d be able to float under the platform and get in the hole through the bottom.

All of this requires you to have two power-ups, and we're trying to beat the game without one.

Unfortunately, here, I had to bite the bullet. The bad news, we are forced to collect at least two grave, dark, shiny reminders of how money creates power, and power corrupts our souls. The good news, only two are required to beat the levels, and we can still beat them pacifist and small.

We could easily brush it off and say, “Oh, those ones don't count. It's clearly forced upon you. Two coins can't even buy anything in this society," but doesn't it? In a run where we try to play this game as wrong as possible, defy the norms, and refuse temptations no matter how good they sound, is it worth it to proceed if we’ve failed at keeping our pockets empty? Do we just keep collecting coins now? Do we bite the bullet and get 98 more to get an extra life and get the counter back to zero?

I'm gonna keep going as if we were still going coinless, but as it stands, I'm a fraud, a sellout, and a hypocrite. I encourage a better Super Mario World player to try to beat these levels freegan style. Maybe there's some frame-perfect technique I missed that someone else can pull off.

Mario continues to trod on with a vegan diet and a peace sign around his neck, just approx. 354 kg heavier and only a little bit bourgeoisie.

Vanilla Dome 3

I knew this day would come. The day I'd have to rip Yoshi from his pastoral dreams and force him back into servitude.

Early on in the level is a tall pipe that expects you to A. be Cape Mario and fly over it, or B. bump a hidden ? Block to help you get on top of it. The problem is, those violate our no power-up and no-coin rules respectively, and you can't jump over the pipe as Small Mario. Even if he builds up speed, he simply doesn't have enough height to do it.

So, we're forced to pull Yoshi out of his all-organically-sourced berry farm right as he was about to begin settling down with his country Yoshi wife, and maybe even installing a little sustainable composting setup, and "use his help" to jump off of him and on top of the pipe.

Would I have liked to do this? Hell no. Is Yoshi gonna be stuck in this lava-filled cave for the rest of his days? Hopefully not. Is this ethical at all? Well, we didn't punch him in the head.

I also found out that simply holding the run button before we get on Yoshi allows us to run around with him without needing to punch him. We just can't let go of it. Not much of an issue though. The course I got Yoshi from was Yoshi's Island 2, which is not much harder to do freegan-ly with him than without. You just now have to avoid the berries on the bushes, which Yoshi will otherwise automatically eat if you pass through them, awarding you with a reminder that something very similar to what is going on in the United States right now happened before the Great Depression—that is, a coin.

Then I found a section that made me want to bash my skull against a wall. A small gap, with three coins in an arch, similar to the section I was stuck on in Donut Plains 2. It looks just barely possible, and I tried for minutes, but I just couldn't do it. I'm positive that if someone else tried to do it, they could, but it seemed like I had to add yet another coin to my bank account of shame…

But then, I realized—once again—that I'm stupid and bad at video games.

If I'm allowing Yoshi now, then that means I can go back to Vanilla Dome 1, get the secret exit, and avoid the two (potentially three) unskippable coins in Vanilla Dome 2, Ghost House, and 3. Of course, this means I have to allow Yoshi now, which I don't necessarily want, but at the same time, the alternative is breaking one of my fundamental rules three times.

Vanilla Dome 1 isn't much harder with Yoshi—you're just bigger now and have to watch your step around the Buzzy Beetles and coins a little more carefully now. Putting the blue shell in Yoshi's mouth gives him wings and lets Mario fly up to the secret exit. Unfortunately, this means we take Yoshi away from his home, punch him in the noggin, and have to let Lemmy Koopa live, but at least our coin count goes from two back down to zero.

The rest of Vanilla Dome

Only thing of note in Vanilla Secret 1 is that, again, there's a Chargin' Chuck guarding the Goal Post. Though a love tap convinces him to move.

I got Yoshi for Vanilla Secret 2 (this time from Donut Plains 1, which is also not hard) who was necessary for a couple of sections. The most tricky one was a gap with four coins over it. A well-timed jump off of Yoshi is enough to go over all four (but of course, you have to make sure not to drop him into the pit like a monster). You do have to jump on a Parabomb to do it, but Bob-ombs are altiery created by Bowser, and not peaceful creatures of flesh and bone. There are some Koopa Paratroopas by the Goal Post, but if you go over to where it is, you can safely go through it without turning them into coins.

Vanilla Secret 3 and Vanilla Fortress are also pretty easy. There's not even anything to kill in the latter stage, due to most of it being underwater. Apart from the Reznor. I'm assuming they're all firm MAGA supporters.

Butter Bridge 1

To beat this one coinless, we unfortunately have to jump off of Yoshi and a Koopa Paratroopa to clear two gaps.

I'm not sure if jumping on a Paratroopa (which gets rid of its wings) still counts as "no killing enemies," but I'm continuing regardless. On the bright side, Butter Bridge is over the ocean. I like to think they survived, maybe even washed up on a tropical island, where they now drink coconuts and angrily sign restraining orders. Out of respect for Yoshi, I'll try to avoid using him from now on.

Butter Bridge 2 is easy to freegan in contrast. At one point in the level a bunch of blue Unshelled Koopas kick shells at Mario. In my run, one of them kicked a shell at a Super Koopa and killed it. Though I did get awarded points for this murder, I am not counting this as me killing an enemy. I am counting this as survival of the fittest.

Also, if you get the chance to, read "The Butter Battle Book" by Dr. Seuss. It's a pretty good story.

#4 Ludwig's Castle

Probably one of the easiest courses yet to freegan. You can't kill much of anything and there are barely any coins in your path. I only mention it because I think I have to mention every time I get to a castle now.

In the cutscene, the castle blasts off like a rocket and blows up in the background. That can't be good for carbon emissions.

The Forest of Illusion is next, which is the only spot I'm kind of worried about, but if only the Butter Bridge made me "break a rule" thus far, I think I'll be fine. Knock on wood.

Forest of Illusion

I decided to clump most of Forest of Illusion into one section for convenience.

Forest of Illusion 1 expects you to kill an Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother to use its flying platform to get up onto a tall pipe. You can bounce off of a Wiggler and just barely make it, though. Jumping on a Wiggler aggravates it, and is really rude, but it's not killing. Forest of Illusion 2 has a whistling Chargin' Chuck that spawns numerous Rip van Fish that charge at Mario. He can swim around them and despawn them before going through the Goal Pole to prevent any accidental coins. Forest of Illusion 3 is also not difficult, you just have to jump off of a Galoomba in a bubble to clear a gap over a Dragon Coin.

Unfortunately, Forest Ghost House is impossible coinless as Small Mario, so we can't progress the normal way. We have to backtrack to Forest of Illusion 2, get the secret exit, and activate the Blue Switch Palace for an alternate route. Good news is, Blue Switch Palace is a cakewalk to freegan.

Once we activate the Blue Switch, we can access the previously inaccessible secret exit in Vanilla Secret 1. Here, a Chargin' Chuck guards the Goal Pole again, but you know the drill by now.

After that, we can access Star World, whose secret exits we'll have to unlock in order to warp straight to Bowser's Castle. Hopefully, we'll be able to progress without any roadblocks. At least we can avoid the implications of more castle cutscenes.

Star World

Again, I'm putting this all together for convenience.

Star World 2 is easy enough. A Super Star slowly descends into the ocean shortly after spawning into the level. A blue baby Yoshi hatches from an egg, immediately swallows it, and grows to full size. This blue Yoshi is clearly not abiding by the rules of freeganism, but nothing said he had to. I thought for a second I could take him back to Butter Bridge 1, get him to eat a shell, and use his wing powers to fly over the gaps where I previously ditched Yoshi and stomped on a Paratroopa, but that would involve making him stick his tongue out, which would involve hitting him. I don't know if it's "more ethical" to do this or not. (And yes, I know I had to punch him earlier, but I'd like to minimize violence as much as possible.)

Regardless, Star World 3 kind of puts an end to that. In order to get to the secret exit, you have to throw a Grab Block at it to kill it, steal its cloud, and fly up to the secret exit. Even taking the blue Yoshi here doesn't allow us to fly up there, as there are no shells in this level. There is officially blood on Mario's hands. Though, we could chalk it up to self-defense…

In Star World 4, we take the blue Yoshi from Star World 2 to use its flight abilities to get to the secret exit (we take an empty shell kicked by a blue Unshelled Koopa above the Keyhole). Unfortunately, this requires at least two Yoshi hits (one for him to put the key in his mouth in Star World 2, another to put the shell in his mouth in Star World 4). This is a necessary evil, as the alternative would be activating the Red Switch Palace, done by going through the secret exit in, as previously mentioned, the impossible Vanilla Dome 2.

However, once that's done, we're finally at the home stretch of the run. Going through the Star Road unlocked after that level warps us to the front door of Bowser's Castle. It's time to see if our dumpster-diving, capitalist rejecting, (mostly) pacifist plumber has what it takes to defeat the biggest, baddest, capital-est turtle known to man.

Coney Island Disco Palace

I went through doors 2 and 5 to start off. Piss easy. Both paths lack any power-ups and coins, and the latter one doesn't even have any enemies that Mario can kill (it only has Thwomps and Skewers).

The "disco ball" part of the castle is also not very hard, you just have to avoid jumping on the Ninjis. Since the Mechakoopas are also altiery (and required to damage Bowser during the boss fight) I'm also counting them as safely stompable. Only one section gave me some trouble for a bit—one where there's two Ninjis right before a pit of lava—but the Ninjis have clear jumping patterns. Just run under them when they do their highest jump and you'll be fine.

As for the actual boss fight… painfully easy. Anticlimactically so. It's just the same as doing it as Small Mario, and you just have to avoid the Super Mushrooms that Peach periodically throws. If you can beat this boss fight without taking damage, you might as well have done it freegan-ly.

And with that, we've officially beaten Super Mario World the wrong way. In total, we have:

collected 0 power-ups or 1-Ups

collected 0 coins

killed 1 enemy

hit Yoshi 3 times

dropped Yoshi and a Paratroopa into a pit (does this count as "hitting Yoshi" and "killing an enemy"?)

activated 1 Switch Palace

failed to resist the convenience of Star Road

rid the world of 3/7 Koopalings

$0 of royalties given to the Seuss estate for mentioning "The Butter Battle Book" (good luck suing a guy with no money)

This challenge was pretty rough in some areas, but that's mainly due to my errors on routing and going in blind into every course. It's not easy, but it's not brutal either, and if you're looking for a way to spice up your next Super Mario World playthrough, it might be worth a shot. Though, point of note, I was playing on the Nintendo Switch Online version, which allows me to rewind and use save states. If I had to do this all in one perfect go, I think I'd bash my head against a wall.

Maybe a player better than me can figure out how to get past the courses where I struggled to get past a tight coin gap, or figure out some frame-perfect clip to get past all the impossible-as-Small-Mario coins, or figure out some glitch to gain enough height so that I could spare the life of a Lakitu (and potentially a Paratroopa? Still not sure if that counts). I'm just a silly little Mario fan writing a silly little blog post and attempting a challenge that may have been slightly out of my caliber, but if I know one thing, it's that there's a lot of dedicated Mario players out there that can do the impossible.

Anyhow, if you got this far, thank you for reading. Next time you play a Mario game, try to see how far you can get without murdering an innocent creature in cold blood, eating clearly sentient organisms that do questionable things to the human body, or collecting any dark reminders of the fact that no matter how hard you try, you'll never have as much money as the richest 1%...

That is, a coin.