edgarhsol

[edgarhsol]

This is more of a rant than a poem.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that my black problems have only existed since Obama.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that this is the only time my black neck has been under the boot of authoritarianism.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that karma isn't coming for those who abused my black skin.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that this is the first time my black hands have been let down by politicians.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that you know black people or are related to them.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that the reason you think Michelle Obama is a man actually has nothing to do with her being black.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that you are Christian and that you care.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that you're woke when you're wokeness is a dream of conspiracy.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that you don't see color.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that the only part of me that should be proud is the part where I'm american.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that there's a world where the ramifications of black slavery, black Jim Crowe, black assassinations, black city bombings, black red lining, black crack epidemic, black school to prison pipeline, black police killings, black women dying at birth, black factory closings don't exist because you were the single one in the neighborhood who wasn't black and since you were apart of the demise that the demise didn't in fact happen.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that I shouldn't feel anything for the bombings my tax dollars pay for.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that my life simply revolves around my 401K and how many properties I have.

Stop trying to convince me that we are the same.

Stop trying to convince me that we pray to the same God.

Stop trying to convince me that I'm like you.

Because I'm not.

[edgarhsol]

Prayer

Hymns. Praise.

The East tugs on my heart,

my temple,

and my dome.

Prostrating. Ethereal submission.

I feel captured.

Held.

My subtle body sways.

Great Grandmother. Home.

She is with me,

In the darkness.

I sense her.

Deep. Weeping.

Relaxation overwhelms me.

I am held.

Captured.

I am beyond anxiety.

My actions are slow and automatic.

I breathe in, Ganavya.

[edgarhsol]

Canal of Grace

An ocean refuses no river.

Just like the dirt accepts the storm.

We are all birthed from the same canal of grace.

Grateful to be alive.

Surprised when we are lonely.

The honey is what we want to drink.

In sync with the waters above.

Movement means everything before we go still.

There are no shapes to contain pleasure.

We are only here to witness the passing of everything.

Accept what will change.

Name one another.

Smother all doubt.

Drown out in love.

[edgarhsol]

Coffee, Scones, and Completion

Can you wake up? I think it's time for you to go.

I made you coffee and I put out a couple of scones.

I appreciate, the things you did for me last night.

They weren't too great but I'm feeling alright.

You made me feel alright.

See, I don't have too much time,

to sit around and play video games.

I feel like I have something to do.

You know I'm lying.

But it has nothing to do with you.

I just want you to leave.

So, I can shower and get back to doing nothing.

I don't care for your hair or your step.

And I don't need to address the way you feel.

Cause, I'm not here to complete you for myself.

Your friends and yo mama should be there to help.

So, can you wake up? I think its time for you to go.

I made you coffee and I put out a couple of scones.

Don't you appreciate, the things I did for you last night.

They weren't too great, but don't you feel alright?

You made me feel alright.

[edgarhsol]

I Know Everything

I'm done, fooling around with you.

So done, being number two.

I can't even believe it's you who says I'm in love with you.

Sometimes, I want to be under your arms.

Your stank breath, wakes me up in the morn.

But you're a liar with pants on fire.

I keep coming back like some part-time hire.

You don't fuck good.

You really don't love good.

I'm done, fooling around with you.

So done, being number two.

I can't even believe it's you who says I'm in love with you.

I just wanna be all over your bed frame,

With my dirty feet all over your bed.

My hands in your head.

Maybe we should take a break.

I'm so confused, so lost.

Wrapped up in my thoughts.

Seeing you in my dreams, fucking somebody raw,

It breaks my heart.

Cause I can't control, the places you go, the people you know.

So many hoes.

Its too many thots

So many walls to hide behind.

So many ways you forgot to text me today.

Sometimes, I watch you in the shower.

Your tummy jiggles from all the plates.

You say you don't want me to see you naked,

Now I can't help, but feel someone has taken my place.

We may not fit together, but I'm old now.

You're old now too.

What are we gonna do?

Just sit up and wait, 'till we get older,

while everyone else gets new?

Baby, I've been on a wave.

Caught in the ocean, commotion,

I could barely focus,

But now I'm thinking 'bout my days.

Spent so much time, trying to realize,

That I might be lucky all my life.

I can't describe, everything to you,

But I'm really trying not to lie,

About my heart.

The jealousy is tearing me apart.

Lets go ahead and be brothers.

Maybe in the future we might find each other again.

Is this a break-up song, I don't really know.

But I don't want to be wrong.

Lets go ahead and hold each other.

Maybe one last good night to lie to each other again.

Maybe we will be friends in the end.

Baby if I ever see you again.

[edgarhsol]

My Red Man

There's a tree blocking most of what I can see of you.

You park below it.

Clean off your Nissan, you're so proud of it.

You show off more than I expect,

Whenever you come into view.

Is it just for me?

All the kneeling and the bending,

And the blank profile saying you're twenty feet away?

-smk nmy car

-just be normal

-porchlight

-torchlight

Names you've given to your face.

Your blank space.

Your -- heart under the sunlight

Your skin so red and warm.

You have the bowl haircut,

That bounces when you run.

And come back to the spot,

Where you parked your car.

You check your trunk, you check your tires.

You open the hood to check the wires.

You move it in, you move it out. You beat your horn.

You go inside, you come back out.

You bend over. You bend down. You flash your torch.

You drive off and come back with your friends.

Y'all sit outside, creating more blank profiles of red men.

-smk nmy car

-just be normal

-porchlight

-torchlight

Words you hope will bring me down.

There's a world blocking most of what I can see of you.

I see long hair sometimes.

Children and pregnancy.

But I ignore it cause you ignore it.

We both know the other is lonely.

-you sit in your car with your torch and a blunt

-i sit on my porch with the light on

[edgarhsol]

A lonely boy with no chances.

An empty man with no dreams.

A world covered in black snowflakes.

A child made out of broken things.

No running to him from anyone.

No chasing for him from no one.

No stars or starships to guide him home.

No battle fields for him to roam.

I need a star-ship, baby.

I need to take flight.

I need to sail the rings of Saturn,

In the night.

I need a battle.

Gotta find a warzone.

I need to figure out the thing that I've become.

A picture taking on concrete.

An emptiless boy in sandles.

A shadow made out of dead snowflakes.

A pain that's too much for him to handle.

No running to him from anyone.

No chasing for him from no one.

No stars or starships to guide him home.

No battlefields for him to roam.

He needs a star-ship, baby.

He needs to take flight.

He needs to sail the rings of Saturn in the night.

Let 'em find a battle baby.

Send his ass to a war-zone.

He needs to figure out the thing that he's become.

Starships to a place for him to leave me.

Arguments with no meaning.

Just demeaning screams.

Just arguments in a place, he plans to leave me.

And his demeaning screams.

I need a star-ship, baby.

I need to take flight.

I need to sail the rings of Saturn in the night.

I need a battle.

Gotta find a warzone.

I need to figure out the man that I've become.

[edgarhsol]

Mold Me

You can weep some more.

It's okay. I'll hold you.

Its the only thing I'm good at.

Its okay, you can groan.

I'll rub you a little longer.

You're the only one I want.

You can see how I have tried,

To make your life a little better.

Its the only thing I'm good at -

Its the only thing I want.

To hold you each and every minute -

Is the thing that makes me long.

You're the only thing I'm good at.

You're the only one I want.

Address me with your pleasantries.

Fill my mind with uncertainty.

Its different everyday,

And I'm uncertain how you'll mold me,

Please just hold me,

Like you always do.

Toss me like I'm used to,

And let me slip away.

Into your arms, into your army.

Into the magic you dream of.

You're the only one I want.

You're the only thing I'm good at.

You can weep all night, I'll hold you.

Become skin and bone, I don't care.

I'll adore you.

Remind you, who I'm dreaming of.

Its okayyyy, you can yell.

It don't bother me much.

Just as long as you're alive,

You can't bitch at me enough.

Besides -

I love you.

And there's only holding on to this.

There's only holding on to the one I want.

You're the only one I want,

You're my long-last kiss.

So, you can weeeeep, I don't mind.

You're the only one I want.

You're the only thing I'm good at,

And I can wipe the tears away.

I have time to sit in bed,

And reminiscent about old days.

Its the only thing I want.

Its the only thing I'm good at.

Its okayyyy. I don't mind.

Trust me, I can stay awake.

If the nightmares get too scary,

You'll have me, who's wide awake.

I'll do my best to fight away -

The things that cause you fright.

I don't minnnnnd.

It's okay.

You're the only one I want,

And I don't sleep most of the night.

Besides -

I love you.

And you're so pretty when you cry.

I love that I've known you,

My entire life.

So it's okay, you can cry.

You can weep all through the night.

I'll hold you tight.

I swear, its the only thing I'm good at.

Its the one thing I get right.

So, forget about our parents,

You're the only one I want.

And the ones who couldn't get right?

It's all good.

Pay them no mind.

You can cry about your bruises.

You can weep about your scars,

I don't mind.

You're the only one I want.

You're the only thing I'm good at.

Stay my little crazy, bay.

I don't mind.

Its just life anyway.

BESIDES! -

i love you.

[edgarhsol]

Sleeping Santa

I can't fly this year, so I'm resting; There are too many planes falling out of the sky. And those UAPs are always beaming at me; With their green, flashing lights. I guess they think there's no one else who learned to fly.

There was a bomb dropped in Baghdad and probably Mexico; So I can't go. It's too dangerous and I don't want my does hurt. Maybe next year when Trump brings Christmas back; I'll think about it but until then, I can't risk a hair, On my chiny, chin, chin. And don't get me started on the melting ice; My does can barely get a running start. We're out there, plummeting through the sheets; Because they warmed this world apart.

And the tsunamis and the earth quakes; And the Texans with their guns. They'll shoot me if they see me; And I have to return to my love. I know they leave me cookies and glasses of fresh milk; But they'll just have to wait this year; I have not-a-plan on being kilt.

Its one day off. It won't hurt anyone. They'll be happy with the snow. Surely all the corporations are letting people go. They need time to themselves and I need time to sleep. A little bit fa you and a little bit fa me.

So, I'm resting this year. See a movie. Visit friends. Write me when it ends. I'll have better gifts next year. I assure you, if you promise; To stay on your best behavior, And shelter those with plenty little. Plenty little, plenty little. Shelter those with plenty little, In preparation for next year. I'm sure you're up for it.

[edgarhsol]

A Song for Lakeland

A gift bestowed upon a boy who grew up to be a god;

Simple man, castle guard, doesn't understand love.

A gift of flame he used to wrestle bears away from the castle;

Mighty strong, pretty lovely all along.

Mr. Lovely fell in love with the queens who ruled his world;

Simple being, not the kind of creature to understand love.

Mr. Lovely fell in love with taking care of his sick queens;

They got to fly and made a lot of love over many things.

One broken, sick, coughing, dying, sneezing and wheezing;

Hives below her crown, sweat under her mink and brow.

Beauty queen was not the name of the ones who loved the guard;

Broken down by a sickness passed down.

Rage enraged the flame of Lake the Guard;

He came to taste the pain of losing love.

A face where fiery tears fell into his palms;

Into the pillows, onto the bed sheets where they last made love.

Where the queen was still indented;

With the sweat stains from the drugs.

A gift bestowed upon a boy who grew up to be a god;

Simple man, fiery mess, constantly burning down his love nest.

A gift of flame he can't control, when he ends up crying alone;

Mighty strong, the most sensitive one.

Mr. Sensitive fell in love with many queens through many times;

Human being, not the kind of creature to not relax and not unwind.

Mr. Sensitive fell in love with taking care of his sick queens;

He got to fly and ignore the curse. Doing other things.

One powerful, valiant, steely and kind;

Bruises in his memories, eternities mashed into months.

Lakeland was the name they gave him;

A dragon he once was.

And rage would inflame the heart of the immortal Dragon Guard;

To taste the pain of losing love, was too much for his dragon heart.

And generation after generation, he was tricked into the torture.

A little sugar, a little loving,

make me the queen of this slice of heaven;

I'll just die when it's all over but you'll keep living long.

[edgarhsol]

Sailor Moon

Did you sprain your foot, at your crossroads? Waiting for lessons to change your outlook. At your crossroads.

Waiting on your sailor from sailor moon. That tuxedo, takes your hand. Gone too soon. Giving out those favors inside your room. Your libido leaves you dead in your cocoon.

By next summer, if you're ready, Take your blossoms and turn them to confetti. Put your heart attack out in the world and, Let the rain fall down. Did you sprain your foot, at your crossroads? Searching for measures of faith, As your body lays to waste. Waiting on something gracious to keep you sound. In the shadows, Judah is there but he ain't around. Been so patient, waiting for that wheel to come down. But that crossroad got you thinking you've been found. By next summer, if you're ready, Take your blossoms and turn them to confetti. Put your heart attack out in the world and, Let the rain fall down.

Don't you know, that's how it goes? By next summer if you get old? At that crossroads, if you persist. That tuxedo will grant your wish.

[edgarhsol]

The Machine

Pills.

There aren't enough to drown out the sound from The Machine. It's a whirring sound. Metal scraping. Blades grinding against blades. Spinning. If looks could kill, you never want The Machine to be the last thing you see.

We were right.

It was an interstellar object. Flat like a pancake, but we called it a cigar because we're three-dimensional beings who still argue over food. And now The Machine is here to eat us. Go figure.

Is there somewhere we can escape to?

Maybe from each other but not from The Machine. Being solitary may be your best option since dying alone instead of in droves will let your species survive a little longer. Your planet has enough water to hide under, so I hope you've been building submersibles instead of space ships to the moon.

Are they lizard people.

No. It's The Machine. Sent by our planetary ancestors light years ago. It was sent this very second, but you know, relativity. The Machine will make you lifeless, so you'll never have to die. Your consciousness will be added within the genome of human existence, where it will interact and flourish with the minds of humankind. A network of consciousness held together by The Machine for all of our existence. There's too much flesh on this planet anyway, too many mouths to feed. With The Machine, you can live forever in an everlasting dream.

[edgarhsol]

There's a crack in the armor of your alligator shoes. Wrap them up in some duct tape so your toes don't get the blues. So the woes don't get to youuuuuu.

1.2.3.4. 1.2.3.

There's a hole in the t-shirt that you brought the other day. Sew a mole in the fabric so your nips aren't out to play. So the world don't see your shammmme.

1.2.3.4. 1.2.3.

There's a patch of hair missing from your partner's new haircut. And you can't get past the kissing. It was never good enough. It's the world that fell in lovvvveeee.

1.2.3.4. 1.2.3.

There's a second in your meeting when you throw it all away. The next second, you start seeing all the bills you haven't paid. There's so many bills these dayyyyysss.

1.2.3.4. 1.2.3.

There's a pain in the corner of your shoulder, hurts so bad. The numbness in your fingertips, from holding on so bad. A creepy little thought about turning into glasssss.

1.2.3.4. 1.2.3.

There's resistance to the mission of completing all your goals. You turn on the television and you wonder what it's for. Guess it's time to toke some mmmmmmore.

1.2.3.4. 1.2.3.

There's a birdy in the window, and she's singing hello songs. In the yellow of your mellow, the blue birdy sings along. Maybe you've been in to looooonnnngggg.

[edgarhsol]

2025, the Isis of Sultan covers all the world in wine.

January throne of Isis, her bones, covered in the flesh of Rome.

2025, Osiris of Sondheim makes a flute from all the brine.

Branches of the chair dissipate to air, freeing Petrus from his lair.

And all the n***** go, to see them land outside the pite.

Cause all the n***** know, the lamb was there to make it right in 2025.

2025 the Tia Alaska places peace upon the pine.

Azeban at toe. He digs through the snow, taking back all what she's owed.

And all the turtles see the water's calm like it used to be.

And all the Buffalo, they had to die to let us know about 2025.

2025, the Isis of Sultan covers all the world in wine.

January throne of Isis, her bones, covered in the flesh of Rome.

2025, Osiris of Sondheim makes a flute from all the brine.

Branches of the chair dissipate to air. Freeing Petrus from his lair.

And all the n***** go, to see them land outside the pite.

Cause all the n***** know, the lamb was there to make it right.

And all the turtles see, the water's calm like it used to be.

And all the Buffalo, they had to die to let us know about 2025.

And all the n***** go, to see them land outside the pite.

And all the n***** go home in 2025.

[edgarhsol]

I am FINE!

I am fine, I'm okay...I guess I'm alright.

I smile a lot when I'm by myself, but it all goes away when I'm not.

NEXT TIME!

i promise. i'll come out. and hang around. and play pool so i don't cry my eyes out because i'm confused about how to turn this plane around.

I'm fine, I promise.

I just miss knowing what I want.

[edgarhsol]

I give you money, and then I die.

I give you money because you're dying and because you're crying and because I need a reason to call you, but then I die.

I die because you don't call me back after you've spent my money.

I die because I know you're hungry and you're spending that twenty dollars on booze.

Thats no excuse for me dying but I do it anyways.

I think I brought it on myself.

But to go broke too because you're dying will only leave me dying broke and probably alone too.

I give you money!

Then I die!

And I wake up to no messages, no voicemails, no memes.

Here!

Take my money!

Just call me when you pay me back.

But I might be dead so...