edgybitchsblog - Tumblr blog

[edgybitchsblog]

I try not to vent too much about my life....

This is usually because I convinced myself people have it worse. But my girlfriend recently has started to express extreme concern about how my family treats me and how they live...

For example, piles and piles of clutter and having your feet turn black by walking through your house apparently isn't normal...

Neither is being a caretaker of a family of 5 before the age of 18.... On either side of my family (my parents are divorced but there are still five people on either piece no matter where i am).

So all the amounts of cleaning and cooking and childcare is apparently excessive..... And the living conditions, especially that of my mothers, are extremely unhealthy. A fridge full of moldy food and a pantry of expired goods i guess makes sense but I never really thought past the fact that we're just... Untidy.

Idk tho maybe im just dramatic?

[edgybitchsblog]

I am a terrible liar. So I never understand how no one catches on when I'm upset. They claim that they'll only ask or question it when I tell them.

But my girlfriend never picks up on just how bad I've felt lately. She's starting to remind me of my last ex.... And I'm terrified to bring it up because mentioning my emotions is what ruined my last relationship. So now I'm feeling trapped and unhappy

[edgybitchsblog]

What is polyamory?

Polyamory is an open ended relationship where a couple is not limited to two people. This means that one person can have several significant others, and those significant others can have significant others and so on and so forth.

A POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT MEAN ONE PERSON IS FREE TO DATE OTHERS AND THE OTHER ISN'T ALLOWED.

Poylamory is a trust based relationship where several partners have open conversations about who they're seeing, and what kind of relations they have. It's a general open relationship where everyone involved communicates and keeps an open mind.

This is a very hard life style and not suited for most people. Very rare does it actually work out, but when it does, it's fantastic. You just need open communication with your partner. Make sure they're okay with it and respect each others differences. That's something that should apply to all relationships.

[edgybitchsblog]

I'm jealous of my own poly relationships.

A little background. I am poly. I am dating three individuals who also are poly. Poly means we date kinda in a network or web where relationships are open ended and it's a good system when you can get it to work. I started dating these two girls and about two months into the individual relationships, they also started dating each other.... Which would be fine except I had a relationship like that before.... And I tended to fall between the cracks and get left behind and forgotten while they were hanging out. Being the third wheel in your own relationship? Mega yikes.

So I kinda took my normal defense. Watch them, see if they follow the same patterns, then decide my course of action. It was okay at first, except now they do everything together.... I don't even get messages from them outside our group chat very often.... And they talk a lot outside our group chat. I'm not sure how to bring up feeling left out without sounding like a jerk... And last time I tried to be more involved in the last triangle relationship, the keystone ghosted us and threw a fit because I wanted to be less forgotten. They're so happy together ... I don't wanna ruin it by being needy.... Maybe I'll just watch them get along.

[edgybitchsblog]

Toxic Relationships and How they've affected me. (Part 1 Probably)

So, I've dated a total of 6 people before my current relationship(s). Of all of them, a few of them affected me pretty hard. The first one that really kind of set the tone for my life was my boyfriend at the start of sophmore year (I was about 16 years old. He's 18 when this story takes place.). He kind of showed up as a friendly face online and was supporting me during a rough patch with my girlfriend. He finally convinced me that maybe she wasn't the one and that I should move on. I was a mess emotionally and believed him, so I broke it off with her. About a week later he asked me out and I said yes because I was dying for company. We started being really intimate to a point I wasn't comfortable with, but I kept doing anything he asked of me because I was terrified he would leave me, and he kept making it sound like if I wouldn't give him lewd stuff he would find it else where. He talked me into sending photos, videos, even 'playing' around on call. He constantly talked about how "helpful" I am and how I was so much better then porn, and how glad he was to have something else to "get off" to. I was also trying to figure out my sexual identity and told him sometimes I wish I could change genders. This lead to him instantly dumping me because I had "trans" tendencies and that he "was a Christian" and I couldn't be queer and date him. He used me and dumped me when he finally got a good chance too.

Moral of this story: Never ever do anything you're not comfortable with. Someone who takes advantage of how you're doing emotionally is not a good person. If your entire relationship relies on sex to even get along, it is not a good relationship. It can really fuck you up if you're not catching the red flags.

[edgybitchsblog]

An Introduction

Guess I should start this off with a little about myself. I created this so I could vent and talk without people who know who I am previously. I wanted to scream into the void of the internet and I'm not really looking for pity or anything, I just need a place to raptor screech. I'm a 17yo none gender conforming poly bitch who has a lotta shit I just need to get rid off. I don't wanna worry my friends and family, so I decided I would make an random account on tumblr and not tell anyone I know about it. So yea... Thats it.