edhelwen1

[edhelwen1]

[edhelwen1]

>You see a strange creature dart under your car.

>CHECK UNDER CAR.

>You have discovered COTURNIX QUAIL CHICK.

>Side quest "WHY DID THE QUAIL CROSS THE ROAD" available.

>WHY DID THE QUAIL CROSS THE ROAD: Ask your next door neighbor about the COTURNIX QUAIL CHICK.

>NEIGHBOR: I haven't seen that before. Though I hear THE FARMER ACROSS THE WAY caught a strange bird on his property last week.

>WHY DID THE QUAIL CROSS THE ROAD: Ask THE FARMER ACROSS THE WAY about the COTURNIX QUAIL CHICK.

>THE FARMER ACROSS THE WAY: We don't keep birds. But you might want to ask THE FARMER DOWN THE ROAD. He has lots of birds.

>THE FARMER ACROSS THE WAY gave you two SWEET CORN and one CUCUMBER.

>WHY DID THE QUAIL CROSS THE ROAD: Talk to THE FARMER DOWN THE ROAD.

>THE FARMER DOWN THE ROAD: Oh! You found my COTURNIX QUAIL CHICK! He keeps escaping. Thank you so much!!

> You have cleared side quest WHY DID THE QUAIL CROSS THE ROAD. You have gained +2 to NEIGHBORLY BONDS and +3 to CHARISMA. THE FARMER DOWN THE ROAD has been added to your CONTACTS LIST.

[edhelwen1]

[edhelwen1]

Lose yourself in what you love 💖✨️

I get to do what I love most every day, thanks to you, my amazing darlings! 💖😭🫂✨️ Thank you all SO MUCH for your support!!!

[edhelwen1]

Sometimes, a meme is missing the crucial 3rd beat.

[edhelwen1]

What if the scales aren't balanced either?

I’m doing a little zodiac constellation thing and I’ve gotten all the constellations superimposed over their symbol. But I cannot get the Libra stars superimposed over a scale cause it’s asymmetrical. Driving me crazy cause all the others are doneeee. Stupid symmetry. My Achilles heel.

[edhelwen1]

man sometimes i really want to get back into welding but then i remember that the guys from the first course i took won’t be there and change my mind

[edhelwen1]

Weird when you first start paying attention to animal noises and realize they don't actually sound like the words we use

[edhelwen1]

[edhelwen1]

I have just finished your book (which I have been looking forward to ever since you posted about the idea), and I absolutely LOVED IT!

It was a joy to read this story and recognise bits of it from your sketches, get to know these characters (I loved Natane! Actually, I loved all of them!) and just generally dive into this world! So thank you for creating this story and sharing it with the world!

It might also make you chuckle to know that my husband saw me receive this book and get really excited about it. As he noticed that I was nearly through it after just two days, he asked "what the key takeaways were", just as I was on one of the racier parts. Apparently, he was convinced I was reading a book on investment management. I told him it did have some of that too 😁

I think I'll add "A book on investment management" to quotes on the jacket.

Thank you so much for reaching out! It means a lot to me that people are actually reading and enjoying my little sapphic western :)

(link to get the book)

[edhelwen1]

I'd truly be the worst person to stick into a timeloop because I'd really just spend the first 5 years catching up on my book tbr, the next 7 on all the movies and shows that've Been On My List for ages, and then another decade on ao3. like sure nothing may stick but my memories will and i can just go into a supermarket to get snacks and wine each day, and i have art to indulge in. like thanks for the hints on how to get out but respectfully, I am busy

[edhelwen1]

Something that I get chills about is the fact that the oldest story told made by the oldest civilization opens with "In those days, in those distant days, in those ancient nights."

This confirms that there is a civilization older than the Sumerians that we have yet to find

Some people get existential dread from this

Me? I think it's fucking awesome it shows just how much of this world we have yet to discover and that is just fascinating

[edhelwen1]

Every sales job I’ve worked has that one item. The white whale. The biggest ticket you can sell. The sale you brag about when you’re chatting with other industry people.

When I sold mattresses it was a split king adjustable base. That’s two twin extra long mattresses next to each other to make a king, but each side can move independently. They’re insanely expensive and honestly kind’ve impractical but it was the biggest ticket thing to sell.

When I sold sex toys though our white whale was the 20lb ass. It was a female pelvis, a cut out from the waist to the tops of the thighs. It was hyper realistic material and cost about $500. I definitely had bigger tickets but not in one item typically.

In my time at the sex shop, I sold three. Each time was completely different in terms of how the guy acted about buying it. The first man was a little embarrassed and shy about it. I was professional and supportive as I rang it up. Once I handed him the receipt he looked at the box. Then he looked at me.

If you’ve ever wondered how big a box has to be to fit a 20lb ass let me just tell you: it’s pretty damn big. It’s an uncomfortably large armful of box and every side has a picture of the sex toy inside on it. It’s not subtle.

“Could I get a bag….?”

There was no bag that existed that could possibly contain all that ass. “Hang on,” I told him.

I got scissors and tape and covered the box in cut up black bags. Looking relieved he picked up his purchase and left.

The next man to buy one carried it proudly to the counter; self assured and not embarrassed in the least. When I said I didn’t have a bag, but I could wrap it for him he gave a hearty shrug and hefted it into his arms, marching out the door with the butt on full display.

The last man to get one was just kind’ve an odd guy. Not creepy, but eccentric. We got along great, and as I rang him up I said, “Well one guy wanted his taped over, and one guy carried it out. What would you prefer?”

“There’s no bags?”

“No store bags. I think our jumbo trash bags in the back might fit it….?” It seemed rude to suggest putting a $500 item into a trash bag, but he wasn’t bothered.

He considered this then said, “Bring me the trash bag.”

When I delivered it to him he still managed to surprise me. Instead of shoving the huge box into it he opened the box. He took out his new $500 sex toy, and all the little things it came with, tipping them unceremoniously into the trash bag.

“There! Now I don’t have to deal with the box later!”

I was slightly stunned but agreed that I could easily deal with the trash. Then in a move I still think about with delight he flung the trash bag over his shoulder like a Santa with a sack full of ass and sauntered out the door.

If this or my other escapades made you laugh you could pop a tip into my Ko-fi! For more like this check my tag "ffs foibles".

[edhelwen1]

there's only one song of the summer and it is old time rock and roll by bob seger. yeah, again. have you 🫵 took those old records off the shelf?

[edhelwen1]

Using red dye to demonstrate that mercury can't be absorbed by a towel

[edhelwen1]

For no reason here is a library story